Before we start the weekend,here’s a few news items for you:
On Tuesday,when Barry magically came up with 7.1 alleged Obamacare victims,the Spite House asked ABCNBCCBSFOX for primetime so he could do his happy dance for all the folk.They all turned him down.Maybe they’re just not that into him anymore.
Bitter,angry,unfunny comedian Davey Letterdouche announced he’s retiring….in 2015.Why not now?Doesn’t he have enough for his wife,his mistress and the DNC by now?
Ever wonder how HHS went from 5 million signups to 7 million in just a few weeks?breaking news says HHS was registering Americans without their knowledge or permission.Screw your “rights.”
Chuck U. Schumer is moaning that the Supreme Court decision on campaign contributions will bring back ‘robber barons.’
In the last ten years he’s pocketed $35.1 million personally.
The Bishop of the Chicago Diocese upheld the actions of a priest who refused communion to “Needle” Dick Dirtbag,given his 100% rating from NARAL and Planned Parenthood.Good on them.
In Detroit,an act of kindness will most likely cost a good Samaritan his life.A child rode his bike into the street and was struck by a pickup truck.The driver got out to help him,and was accosted by 10-12 filthy black animals and robbed of his wallet.He is clinging to life in extremely critical condition.It is unlikely anyone will face charges for the attack.Detroit officials have determined this is not a hate crime.Don’t bother asking the drivers’ race.
OK…THATS ENOUGH.
Dammit…it did it again.Posted first picture at the top.
This ‘shovel-ready’ project was completed in 4 months by a crew of 15 union laborers at cost of $9 million
THIS IS A SEVERE CASE OF ‘COITUS INTERRUPTUS’
I’LL BET GRUNT HAS ONE OF THESE
polination.blog 
‘Loser’ violinist bullied at school transforms into music sensation after sharing her video game-inspired songs on YouTube
‘It’s kind of hard to believe that the very thing I used to get bullied for back when I was younger is now something that so many different people from all over the world share a love in with me, and now I receive support for it in an overwhelmingly positive way,’ she told The Daily Dot.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2590130/Loser-violinist-bullied-school-transforms-music-sensation-sharing-video-game-inspired-songs-YouTube.html#ixzz2xwK9JvOx
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That was beautiful.
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Yoga Enthusiast, 68, Busted For Public Pleasure Session (But Not For Throwing Dead Animal At Passing Car)
An elderly yoga enthusiast is facing a federal obscenity charge after he was spotted masturbating on National Park Service property, after which he picked up a dead animal and threw it at a passing car, according to court records
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/federal-park-yoga-masturbator-576432
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Chocolate could PREVENT obesity: Scientists say antioxidant in cocoa stops weight gain and lowers blood sugar
Flavanols in dark chocolate fight weight gain and lower the risk of diabetes
Dark chocolate is also thought to improve concentration, decrease appetite, lower blood pressure and boost heart health
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2595990/Chocolate-PREVENT-obesity-Scientists-say-antioxidant-cocoa-stops-weight-gain-lowers-blood-sugar.html#ixzz2xwMzEodO
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Chocolate is undeniably wonderful, but I’m not buying this. If chocolate prevented weight gain, I’d be rail thin.
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Whatever. You ARE pretty rail thin. When we met you and DH at that tequila joint, my first comment to Gruntessa was: “What the hell are those skinny people waving at? Oh, that’s Bob? Can’t be. She’s always complaining about being chunky. She must have sent DH and his hot secretary to meet us, instead.”
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Grunt, you crack me up! When are you and the missus going to be passing through our neck of the woods again?
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Haven’t made plans yet, but there’s usually a trip sometime in the mid-to-late summer to hit family in the MI-OH-IN states. On the way back, if we have trouble shaking the Illinois State Police, we might need to cut north and hide out in your garage for a few days until things cool off. We’d be glad to pay you in dark chocolate, though. 🙂
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Deal!
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Laying it on too thick? Cost of PB&J sandwiches skyrockets as Americans continue to consume 1.5billion pounds of legume paste a year
•Data from U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics shows price of a pound of creamy peanut butter jumped 46 per cent in a decade
•Cost of white bread increased by 47 per cent between January 2004 and January 2014
•Americans eat enough peanut butter in a year to make more than 10billion PB&J sandwiches to the tune of $800million
•Average American child will eat 1,500 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches by the time he or she graduates from high school
IMHO ,A SAMMICH WITH JIF PEANUT BUTTER AND SMUCKERS RASPBERRY PRESERVES ARE A LITTLE SLICE OF HEAVEN
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2595393/Laying-Cost-PB-J-sandwiches-skyrockets-Americans-continue-gobbling-1-5B-pounds-delicious-legume-spread-year.html
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A Senator Went to the Wrong Hearing and Didn’t Even Realize It Until He Had Already Asked a Question
Sen. Dan Coats (R-Ind.) walked into a Senate committee hearing on Thursday and addressed a witness with some very specific budget-related questions.
But there was a slight problem: Coats was in the wrong hearing.
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/04/04/a-senator-went-to-the-wrong-hearing-and-didnt-even-realize-it-until-he-had-already-asked-a-question/
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Man arrested after he RETURNED to try and claim $2,500 worth of heroin he accidentally left in rental car
Bronx man Carlos Tavarez, 30, rented a Chevy sedan from a Manhattan rental car service on Saturday
He told Budget employees he was driving the car up to Boston and back and later returned the car to a location at Newark International Airport
Soon after, he called the location back saying he left his child’s medication in the car and wanted to retrieve it
Employees reported the ‘suspicious’ black bag to Port Authority Police who found it contained 250 small bags of heroin
Tavarez was arrested Wednesday when he returned to the rent-a-car location to pick up the bag
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2596664/Forget-Man-arrested-accidentally-leaving-2-500-worth-heroin-rental-car.html#ixzz2xwkB9iu4
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White House looks to regulate cow flatulence as part of climate agenda
“Statistics vary regarding how much methane the average dairy cow expels. Some experts say 100 liters to 200 liters a day… while others say it’s up to 500 liters… a day.
How the hell do they measure that?Put a bottle against the cows butt?
http://dailycaller.com/2014/03/28/white-house-looks-to-regulate-cow-flatulence-as-part-of-climate-agenda/#ixzz2xwl2zYiq
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“On Thursday evening’s news casts, the networks ignored a claim by major insurer Blue Cross Blue Shield that as many as 20 percent of their new enrollees did not pay the first month’s premium for ObamaCare.”
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/matt-hadro/2014/04/04/networks-ignore-insurers-claim-15-20-percent-obamacare-enrollees-didnt-p
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On Thursday’s Hardball, host Chris Matthews and guest Joan Walsh called conservatives who disputed the administration’s ObamaCare enrollment numbers as “birthers” and “truthers.”
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/matt-hadro/2014/04/03/chris-matthews-and-joan-walsh-call-those-disputing-obamacare-numbers-bir
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What a couple of ignoramuses.
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Since when did this administration ever let facts get in the way of their web of lies?
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Our town has a new hometown hero.Maybe Barky will award him with a Medal of Freedom.
Rockford Man Breaks Record for Highest Backwards Bowling Score
http://1440wrok.com/rockford-man-breaks-record-for-highest-backwards-bowling-score-video/?trackback=tsmclip
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Spanish woman has to be rescued after falling down 15-metre well while having sex… after her partner runs off and leaves her there
I think its safe to assume he won’t call her in the morning
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2595000/Woman-rescued-falling-15-metre-having-sex-partner-runs-leaves-there.html
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As a woman pulled into the garage of her Chicago home, a thief confronted her and demanded the keys to her car. She surrendered them but then ran out and closed the garage door, trapping him inside. She called the cops who came and found him inside the car.
YOU WILL AWAKEN FEELING REFRESHED … A woman claimed she was scammed by two women who offered to read her fortune when she encountered them in the parking lot of a supermarket in Elmshorn, Germany. Instead, they hypnotized her and stole all of her jewelry and other valuables. She didn’t awake from the trance until she found herself back at her home.
THIS IS TOO INTENSE FOR ME, MAN … The nation of Sri Lanka, which has more than 400 prisoners on death row, recruited a hangman to carry out the executions. But, when he was shown the gallows for the first time, he became “shocked and afraid,” and resigned immediately.
YES! YES! OH GOD, YES! … A woman in public housing in England was extremely loud when she engaged in sexual relations, yelling and belting out “loud whoops” to the point where her neighbors complained frequently. She refused to quiet things down, so officials had her evicted.
TELL ME, OFFICER, HOW DID YOU CATCH ME? … A man burglarized a car dealership in Plantation, Fla., left his ID behind, then posted pictures of himself with the loot on Facebook. “I don’t think they get any dumber than this,” said the owner. “I think this guy was born with no brain at all.”
KNOW WHAT I MEAN, YOUR HONOR? … A teacher in Turin, Italy, was in court to answer charges that he took two female students to a swingers club. When asked if he knew if one of the girls was underage, he said, “I never ask a woman’s age,” as he winked at the judge.
YOU KNOW, HE ALWAYS SEEMED TO HAVE CHANGE FOR A HUNDRED GRAND … A New Jersey official stole more than $460,000 in quarters that had been brought into the collection room from parking meters in Ridgewood over 25 months. That comes out to more than 1.8 million quarters, weighing 11.25 tons ,or the weight of three elephants.
AND THE FRIENDSHIP IS OVER BY THE WAY … A wife obtained photos of her husband having sex with a friend of hers, and posted them all over the Ohio Walmart where the other woman works with the written message, “Hide your husbands.”
LET’S HOPE YOU DO BETTER ON THE WRITTEN TEST … A woman who came to take her driver’s test for the third time hit the accelerator instead of the brake, and crashed her car into the Department of Motor Vehicles building in San Jose, Calif.
WHY WON’T YOU TAKE ME SERIOUSLY?! … After a St. Patrick’s Day binge, a woman showed up at the Arlington, Va., magistrate’s office drunk and naked to visit her husband who was in custody there. She refused to get dressed or leave, so the cops put her in a cell until she sobered up.
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Yikes! The Scary Things Women Say That Send Men Running
These are a couple
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
“All of my friends are guys.”
“I expect to be treated like a princess.”
http://gma.yahoo.com/yikes-scary-things-women-send-men-running-145041401–abc-news-topstories.html
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Mowing the lawn just got fun! Cutting-edge ‘Mean mower’ enters the record books after hitting top speed of 116mph
The record was set on the ‘Mean Mower’ by Top Gear writer Piers Ward
It beat a record of 96.5mph (155.3kph) made by a John Deere mower
1,000cc superbike engine allowed vehicle to reach 0-60 in four seconds
Honda mower has greater power-to-weight ratio than a Bugatti Veyron
It also is fitted with a 6-speed gearbox and boasts a custom-made Cobra sports seat
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2594951/Mowing-lawn-just-got-fun-Cutting-edge-mega-mower-enters-record-books-hitting-speed-116mph.html#ixzz2xwr1OmrR
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8 things for women NOT to do in bed, according to a man in 1945
Some of these are really funny
http://dailycaller.com/2014/03/28/8-things-for-women-not-to-do-in-bed-according-to-a-man-in-1945/#ixzz2xwrgITSq
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Florida man mistakes corpse of 96-year-old suicide victim for April Fool’s prank and hurls the woman’s body into a dumpster
OOPS
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2596300/Florida-man-mistakes-corpse-96-year-old-suicide-victim-April-Fools-prank-hurls-womans-body-Dumpster.html#ixzz2xwstk6fk
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Maybe I’m juvenile, but I LOL’d at the Stinky Goldfinger thing. Happy Friday!
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