- Smokers and fat people go to the back of the line.
- Need birth control? Go to the front of the line.
- Those with STDs and gender-confusion issues go to the front of the line.
- Want an abortion? You’re next.
- Want to give birth? We have an opening for pre-natal care in ten months.
- Over 65? Go to the back of the line.
- Union member? Go to the front of the line.
- You’re in pain? How could you possibly be so selfish!?
- Dr. Kevorkian will see you now.
- Special chapter for registered Democrats: Voting After Death.
- For upper and lower GI screening, report to Airport Security.
- For OB-GYN, report to the Bill Clinton Clinic.
- You need a heart transplant? Take 2 aspirin and report to the morgue.
- You can keep your doctor … if he hasn’t retired.
- Second opinion will be the same as the first opinion.
- Your insurance card is free. Your doctor is invisible.
- Only the IRS will be making house calls.
- You’re a Republican in pain? Suck it up.
- Do you own a gun?
Tweets @ http://twitchy.com/2013/02/10/conservatives-offer-up-obamacarefordummies/
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