Posted by Pistol Pete
DW just left to take our little angels(?) home, so I thought I’d do a quickie in case anybody wanders by.
Had our taxes done yesterday. In 47 years of filing returns it’s the first year I’ve had to pay in because of the ‘self-employment’ tax since I deliver a few papers. Now I know what homosexuals feel like the first time.
I got home and a car had destroyed our mailbox post and ended up in a big snowbank on the other side of the street. It was a Hispanic kid. I asked him if he did it.
Yes,I’m sorry.
What’s your name?
He told me.
Let me see your license.
I no have license with me…it’s at home.
You’re driving without a license?
He said it was at home.
Do you have insurance?
Is my father’s car…insurance in car.
Let me see.
No no no.
I’m calling the police.
With that he took off down the street like his pantalones were ablaze.
I called 911 and about 20 minutes later two units showed up. My little amigo was in the back of one.
I gave them the information I had and the landlord’s contact info. I’d already called him and he said he’d be over this morning to put up a temporary mailbox until spring thaw. The landlord thanked me for getting involved.
I’m so sick of these cockroaches sneaking across the border, driving with no license or insurance, and when they get drunk and kill somebody they run back to Mexico. I’ve seen it happen more than once. It’s also a reason insurance rates are so high…uninsured driver coverage.
Enough….let’s have a little fun.
Added by CtH:
polination.blog 
100 chickens discovered in small SUV during Grand Island traffic stop
One of my first chores was gathering eggs from the henhouse.I know exactly what that van had to smell like.
http://www.omaha.com/article/20140201/NEWS/140209820/1707
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I dated a guy who lived next to a hen house. Ew.
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Woman, 41, ‘batters and bites her 75-year-old boyfriend after he took her credit card away’
She was fixin’ to go on a white trash shopping spree
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2551241/Woman-41-batters-bites-75-year-old-boyfriend-took-credit-card-away.html#ixzz2tKRpY5QY
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this autistic boy who loves trucks got a wonderful surprise from the trashman.This was posted just hours ago
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXSUydvN15w
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A woman facing a felony theft charge in Nashville, Tenn., faked her own death to evade the consequences, sending authorities a phony death certificate stating that she had died of a drug overdose in Kentucky. It worked for a while, but the scam fell apart when she was arrested for shoplifting a year later.
OK, YOU’RE MAD; I GET IT … A man dropping off his girlfriend at her home in Newton Township, Pa., was confronted by her husband, who ran him out of the house, then got into his car and chased him across two counties. At one point, the husband rammed the boyfriend’s car, prompting both men to get out. But the husband came at him with “an object” in his hand, so the guy got back into his car, and the chase continued. It ended when the husband forced the boyfriend’s vehicle into a rock embankment. He smashed his windshield and fled.
I CAN SEE! IT’S A MIRACLE! … A Wisconsin man who got $175,000 in disability payments because he claimed to be legally blind was sentenced to prison after federal agents caught him driving a speedboat.
COME AND GET ME, COPPER! … OH, YOU’RE HERE? … A man, being sought for assault charges in Freeland, Pa., posted his wanted poster on Facebook and taunted the police, challenging them to find him. Less than two hours later, they did.
I’M FEELING MUCH BETTER NOW, THANKS … A man, serving a one-month prison term in Sweden, told the authorities he urgently needed to see a dentist. When they failed to accommodate him, he escaped, and went to see one who was located nearby. After an inflamed tooth was removed, the guy called the police who drove him back to jail.
THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR SHOWING OFF … A young woman whose mother is facing charges of helping members of the Philippine parliament embezzle $230 million from the government posted a picture of herself online bathing in money. She will be charged with tax evasion.
HEY, I THOUGHT WE HAD A DEAL! … A psychologist in Gig Harbor, Wash., left his laptop with a prostitute as collateral while he went to an ATM to get cash in order to do business with her. She took off with it while he was gone. The man is facing a license hearing because the computer contains the health information of hundreds of clients.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OQcoDQq3-o
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Frat Bro Busted For Urinating On Cop’s Head
Reveler, 19, faces charge for stream of lawlessness
This nitwit is long on nerve and short on brains
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/frat-brother-urinates-on-cop-465321
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Struggling waitress left $1,075 tip on $29.30 bill by generous family who told her ‘Jesus blessed us and we were led to give it to you’
•Khadijah Muhammad left for work at Cheddar’s cafe-restaurant in Knoxville, Tennessee, on Wednesday with a disconnection notice on her door
•She had fallen behind in her bills after giving up work to travel to Ohio and be with her mother, who had suffered a heart attack
•When a nice family-of-three left their check turned upside down Muhammad expected they had left a bad tip or a note about poor service
•They had left a tip of over $1000 and a brief note explaining why
THE LORD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS!!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2550448/Blessed-family-leaves-1-075-tip-struggling-waitress.html
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Oakland Kidnapping Suspect Seen Stuffing Lobsters, Ribeye Down Pants Before Carjacking
Hey,he was hungry
http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2014/02/11/oakland-police-searching-for-car-after-reported-carjacking-possible-abduction/
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A TODDLER SEES RAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCRqNsRflHM
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♡♡♡♡♡
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Couple die of carbon monoxide poisoning while having sex in car: police
When you’re hot you’re hot, but when you’re stupid you’re stupid.
http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2014/02/man_woman_die_from_carbon_mono.html
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‘Duck Dynasty’ star left a $5,000 tip on $5,000 tab after steak dinner with top Republicans
the dinner party included Hannity,Levin,Sen. Cruz and Newt and his current wife.the meal probably cost 5G;s because Gingrich took all the leftovers home in a gunny sack.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2559065/Duck-Dynasty-Willie-Robertson-leaves-5-000-tip-5-000-tab-steak-dinner-Republicans.html#ixzz2tKXkpCST
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BE THANKFUL THESE CRITTERS DON’T LIVE WITH YOU!
FREDDIE IS OVER 7 FEET AND PICKLES IS OVER 3 FEET LONG
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Walmart Flasher Flees After Female Victim Strikes Him In “Exposed Genitals”
The first line of defense every girl learns from her mom at an early age.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/another-walmart-indecent-exposure-687543
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‘I will not subject my innocent son to your “lifestyle”‘: Two gay dads receive shocking reply on the RSVP to their daughter’s seventh birthday party
I support the mothers right to raise her child in her beliefs.I think she should have just politely declined without comment.Thats just asking to be ridiculed.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2559119/I-not-subject-innocent-son-lifestyle-Two-gay-dads-receive-horrifying-reply-RSVP-daughters-7th-birthday.html
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At Food City, we honor those people that serve and protect our country, and we know that without the men and women who watch out for us, we would not have any of the luxuries we do. We are the land of the free because of the brave and we salute you!
HANKIE ALERT
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Love this!
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CHINA, Maine — Police responding to reports of screaming coming from a home in Maine didn’t find a victim of domestic violence as they feared. Instead, they found an amorous pig.
State police say a woman called last week after hearing what she believed to be a fight coming from a neighbor’s home in the town of China. The caller said she heard screaming and thought there was a domestic assault.
The Morning Sentinel (http://bit.ly/1jafexV ) reports that four state troopers responded and talked to the neighbor.
The neighbor explained that she raises pigs and the screaming was coming from an overjoyed male pig that had been placed in a pen with five sows in heat.
Police say there was no assault and no disturbance “other than the screaming male pig.”
Now you know where the term:squeal like a pig’ comes from
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NBC’s Al Roker vs. Far-Left NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio: ‘Don’t Blame Weather for YOUR Poor Policy’
The new Commie mayor blames Roker and All got all snarky on his ass.
Tweets
Why are schools all around NYC closed? It’s going to take some kid or kids getting hurt before this goofball policy gets changed
So now my daughter’s NYC public school is being let out early. @NYCMayorsOffice @NYCSchools Is it worth putting kids’ safety at risk?
Talk about a bad prediction. Long range DiBlasio forecast: 1 term
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/02/13/nbcs-al-roker-vs-far-left-nyc-mayor-bill-de-blasio-dont-blame-weather-for-your-poor-policy/
DIDN’T INTEND TO THROW IN ANY POLITICAL STUFF,BUT GOOD NEWS IS GETTING HARDER AND HARDER TO FIND
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Naked Woman Goes On Bloody Rampage After Boyfriend Refuses To Have Sex
Ashley Marie Prenovost, 24, was already intoxicated when her beau returned to the Glendale residence the couple shares with their four-month-old daughter. Prenovost, according to a court filing, “wanted to have sex with him and got naked.”
When her boyfriend declined to have sex, Prenovost became enraged, according to police.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/naked-mom-tirade-after-sex-denial-356712
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Patriotic tat ………… ROFLLLLLLL … SO glad I did not have any of my fresh hot coffee in my mouth!
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Yep – I’m going to have to think about that one myself! My arms are starting to go…
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DW and I decided to get tats a long time ago.She got a small rose on one of her bosoms,and when I saw how painful it was,I chickened out.Cuz I’m a wimp when it comes to pain.
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You don’t sound like a wimp to me. Just think of the money you saved.
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I hear you, Pete! DH has friends who own a tattoo shop, so he’s basically a canvas. He’s got both arms, one leg and his entire torso covered, and he says he isn’t done yet. I don’t think I’ll ever get one, though. I tell people it’s because I can’t think of a design I’d want on my body for life, which is partially true. But really, I’m afraid I’d cry like a baby and chicken out as soon as the first line was drawn.
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Tattoos a form of torture to which I will NEVER subject myself. But I’m such a coward when it comes to pain, I won’t even wear high heels.
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I like that you use the term “bosoms”. Class.
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Happy Valentine’s Day, ya’ll. Sorry about the mail box, Pete. Glad you go involved, though. We’re “celebrating” with good friends – pot roast and good laughs.
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That mailbox story brought back memories… Many years ago, I was driving one very dark night and took a wrong turn on a poorly-lit street, which ended up being a dead end with no room for a U-turn. It was winter, so snow was piled up on both sides of the very narrow street, further limiting what I could do to get myself turned around. I couldn’t see at all, and while I was trying to maneuver the van to get pointed in the right direction, I heard and felt a sickening thud. I had backed right into a mailbox, and knocked it clean off its post. How humiliating! I had to walk up to the house and knock on the door and explain to a total stranger that I had just knocked her mailbox off its post. She was just as sweet and nice as she could be, told me not to worry about it, she was sure her husband would be able to fix it, and she told me she hoped my van was all right. I wanted to give her my name and phone number so she could let me know how much it cost to repair, because I wanted to pay for it, but she absolutely refused. So I thanked her for being so nice, and I went home, and somehow managed never to tell my husband about it.
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Love that last line!
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Thanks for the “Quickie”, Pete.
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