Posted by Pistol Pete
Today’s post is totally non-political. If nobody’s interested,I don’t know what to tell you.
In 1922,American satirist,H.L. Mencken wrote:
“On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
That prophecy has,I believe,been fulfilled.
BEHOLD THE BUTT-FACED DOG
polination.blog 
Funny, Funny photos. Do you think that Canadian Foreskin Awareness one is for real? I do.
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The maple leaf growing out the end reminds me of a painfully true story. My brother had his wisdom teeth removed shortly before leaving for boot camp. One of the wounds wasn’t healing and he was in a great deal of pain, so the Marines finally broke down and sent him to a dentist. After the surgery, my mom had given him watermelon to eat; a small seed had lodged in one of the wounds and germinated. True dat. My brother actually had a watermelon plant growing in his gums.
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Hysterical!
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Unfortunately,it’s no joke.It’s for real.
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Ick. Ick. Ick.
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Not sure which is more disturbing … that or Mighty Mooch.
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‘Legendary’: Kids bring spelling bee to a standstill after 66 rounds when organizers run out of words
When I was in first grade,in 1955,we used something called phonics to help us spell by sounding words out.I was so good,Mrs. White would pass out a list of 10 words to learn and 30 minutes to study.I’d look at them once and put the list in my desk.When she challenged my claim to already know all the words,she quizzed me.In frustration,she said:’well,learn to spell them backwards.’After that every time she asked me to spell something I’d spell it backwards.I was a smartass even at the age of 6.
Sophia Hoffman, a fifth-grader at Highland Park Elementary School in the Kansas City suburb of Lee’s Summit, and Kush Sharma, a seventh-grader at Frontier School of Innovation in Kansas City, buzzed through the list of words provided by the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Then they ran through a list of about 20 additional words bee officials picked out of their Merriam-Webster’s 11th Edition during the lunch break, The Kansas City Star reported.
http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/02/24/legendary-kids-bring-spelling-bee-to-a-standstill-after-66-rounds-when-organizers-run-out-of-words/
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Would you pay $8 a DAY for a members only bathroom? Private facilities with luxury showers set to launch across New York
Not unless I was about to drop a huge,steaming pantload of Durbin.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2568587/Would-pay-8-DAY-members-bathroom-Private-facilities-luxury-showers-set-launch-New-York.html#ixzz2udl8SBfQ
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Mother, 53, Arrested For Battering Daughter, 25, With Used Diaper
The thought that these idiots can reproduce is terrifying.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/dirty-diaper-assault-576432
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A trash collector in Oregon is getting a lot of attention after a neighbor on his route witnessed his simple gesture of respect and kindness.
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She’s one smart cookie! Girl scout, 13, capitalizes on the munchies and sells 117 boxes of snacks outside medical marijuana clinic
Her whole troop set up outside the pot shop and sold out.I’m surprised the cops didn’t arrest them all for selling without a license.The cops were prolly stoned too.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2564740/Shes-one-smart-cookie-Girl-scout-13-capitalizes-munchies-sells-117-boxes-snack-outside-medical-marijuana-clinic.html#ixzz2udn7OzPK
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Two dudes busted trying to make cow-and-dude porn on a dairy farm
Once,when we were teenagers,I almost talked my retarded cousin Bobby into getting a Lewinsky from a suckling calf.He chickened out at the last minute.Its just as well…Granny would have warmed my bottom.Grandpa would have laughed like hell.Its doubtfull Bobby would have been able to have kids.
http://dailycaller.com/2014/02/25/two-dudes-busted-trying-to-make-cow-and-dude-porn-on-a-dairy-farm/#ixzz2udoPFcfQ
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‘Horny’ widow, 58, ‘propositioned police officer for sex after making fake 911 call’
Maria Montanez-Colon, 58, allegedly aggressively fondled the officer at her Florida home
The 58-year-old was arrested for misuse of 911 and booked into the Charlotte County Jail
One Adam-12 One Adam 12…see the lady claiming felony horniness…handle code 69.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2567845/Horny-widow-58-propositioned-cop-making-fake-911-call.html#ixzz2udq5JJIO
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Teacher Faces Ax Over Naked Kids “Having Sex”
Kindergarteners, both 5, were found in bathroom
Sheesh…when I was in kindergarten I was sweating being able to pass shoe-tying so I could graduate to the first grade.
I remember seeing a cartoon a long time ago of a naked boy standing on a naked girls head.The caption read:’OK,we took our clothes off and I got on top of you.When is it supposed to start feeling good?’
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/teacher-faces-ax-over-kindergarten-sex-674521
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They’ve got a 4th grade Commie Core book with a graphic cartoon demonstrating how to put a condom on and instructions about how it’s okay to do whatever feels good. So 5 is too young, but 9 is just right?
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This is a long video,but maybe Chrissy would like to check it out.its the story of Christian artist Rich Mullin,who was called Home to sing for the Lord way too soon.
It’s called;Homeless Man
This is my favorite Rich Mullin song.I had the Karaoke tape of it that I piped through our church’s PA system a number of times.The whole congregation got into it and I’d even catch our staid old pastor swaying to it.
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John Luke Robertson has a Twitter account. The kid makes more sense than most of the adults out there these days.
http://twitchy.com/2014/02/28/john-luke-robertson-of-duck-dynasty-joins-twitter-talks-faith-science-and-phils-broken-remote/
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This weeks episode had Phil struggling with the 42 buttons on his remote and Miss Kay trying to learn how to text.I can relate.
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‘Duck Dynasty’ Gives Girl With Rare Disease a Gift She Won’t Soon Forget
You’d never catch a liberal doing something like this unless there were something in it for them.
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/02/14/duck-dynasty-gives-girl-with-rare-disease-a-gift-she-wont-soon-forget/
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Taco Bell Takes Aim at McDonald’s with Breakfast
— A.M. Crunchwrap — scrambled eggs, a hash brown, cheese and bacon, sausage or steak in a flour tortilla.
— Waffle Taco — a waffle wrapped around a sausage patty or bacon, with scrambled eggs and cheese, served with a side of syrup.
— Bacon and Egg Burrito — Bacon, scrambled eggs and cheese wrapped in a flour tortilla
—Sausage Flatbread Melt — A sausage patty topped with cheese wrapped in a flatbread and grilled.
I don’t think I’ll be trying any of this crap anytime too soon.
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2014/02/25/Taco-Bell-takes-aim-at-McDonalds-with-breakfast
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Waffle taco = yecchhhh! Why?
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After 3 days of sub zero cold,we’re due for 3-6 inches more snow this weekend.I’m so sick of this.
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Those dogs really look like they’re having fun! My daughter’s cat, Figaro, absolutely loves snow — sometimes she puts his leash on him and takes him outside, and as soon as he gets out of the house he immediately throws himself down into the snow and rolls around in. I wish I had video of it — it’s hilarious.
I used to love shoveling snow back in my youth. Unfortunately, I can’t do it anymore, because I have a bad back and arthritic hands, so my husband has to do it. He doesn’t mind, because it’s good exercise, and a nice break from his work (which is totally sedentary). Our neighbor has a snowblower and sometimes he comes over and helps out.
We’ve had so much snow this winter that our driveway is like a canyon. The mailbox is completely buried; there’s just a little door in the wall of snow for the mail. A lot of the neighbors’ mailboxes are similarly buried. My husband was outside a couple of days ago when the mail lady was making her rounds, and she told him she keeps a rubber mallet in her car, because she sometimes needs it to open mailboxes that have frozen shut.
We had another snowfall this afternoon, but it didn’t last very long. My daughter is in a show at the theater tonight, so she was glad not to have much new snow — they already had one performance canceled last weekend because of hopelessly impassable roads. They have four performances to get through this weekend, most of them sold out, so everyone is hoping for no more winter storms, at least until Monday. 🙂
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Innocent teenager spent 35 days in jail because he had the same name as the REAL suspect but ‘incompetent’ police didn’t check
When I was a senior,there was a freshman with the same name as mine.I was called to the office several times before the dean of boys figured out the problem.I canme home from school one day and Granny was madder than a wet hen,waving a failure notice for Civics 9,a freshman class.I never got a grade lower than a B through my entire K-12 education.Eventually her wrinkles lost their purple hue.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2568035/Innocent-teenager-spent-35-days-jail-REAL-suspect-incompetent-police-didnt-check.html#ixzz2udyfw4fd
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Your granny sure did raise a good man.
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FORGET SOMETHING, BUB? A man who stole a sound system from a home in Haddon Township, N.J., was arrested when he returned 30 minutes later to steal the remote.
HARD TO SEE HOW SHE EXPECTED TO GET AWAY WITH THIS: A woman pawned her car at a hock shop in West Palm Beach, Fla., for $5,500, and the next day reported the vehicle stolen, collecting another $12,300 from the insurance company. Unfortunately for her, the pawn shop decided to sell the car a year later because she hadn’t come back to claim it, and found — to their surprise — that it was listed as stolen. Police involvement resulted.
IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER? Police spotted a man working on a stolen motorcycle that had broken down by the side of the road in Cape Coral, Fla. He ran off when they questioned him, but he left behind his backpack which contained his ID. The cops dropped by his house the next day.
SO, DO THESE BELONG TO YOU? A 19-year-old man was having sex with a woman in her home in Uniontown, Pa., when her boyfriend arrived and chased him naked out into the cold night. He told police that four men had robbed him of his clothes and money in an alley. The cops examined his footprints in the snow and found no sign of a struggle. Meanwhile, another officer responded to a call of a disturbance at the home he had fled, where the woman handed over the guy’s clothes.
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I couldn’t help it
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