From The Babylon Bee.
U.S.—The nation’s liberals were struck by a devastating blow this week after finding out a hate crime, reported by Empire actor Jussie Smollet, didn’t actually happen.
“I needed this to be true,” said liberal columnist Hanna Spalding. “When I first heard the news of this attack, I was filled with so much hope. I felt so validated. Then that was taken away. Now I just want to cry into my pillow.”
The attack had been called “a modern-day lynching” by democratic presidential candidate Cory Booker but after Chicago police reported that the “trajectory of the investigation” into Smollet’s story had shifted, Smollet was stripped of his victim status. Booker became irate, phoning the Chicago police chief and shouting repeatedly, “Check it again! CHECK IT AGAIN!”
After some deep breathing exercises, Booker spoke with reporters. “How are we supposed to intentionally turn the nation against each other and exploit these divisions for political power if people won’t commit a simple hate crime once in a while?”
Candlelight vigils are being arranged in liberal cities across the country as millions mourn the loss of one of the most potentially divisive crimes in the last decade. “There was so much promise there. Now there’s just emptiness,” said one mourner in Berkley, CA.
“While Smollet’s attack may have been a hoax, our emotions have undergone a modern-day lynching,” said activist Andrea Jones at a vigil in Chicago. “If you think about it, this is even worse than if the crime had actually happened. A lot of people put a lot of hope into Smollet’s story. Our expectations have been violently assaulted. Yesterday we thought one man had been attacked. Today, our narrative is the one in a hospital bed, sucking Jell-O through a straw and fighting for its life.”
Also from The Babylon Bee:
Jussie Smollett Offered Job at CNN After Fabricating News Story out of Thin Air
Elizabeth Warren Claims Two Men in Colonial Outfits Assaulted Her with Smallpox-Infested Blankets
polination.blog 
Rumor has it and we’ll see if it plays out into reality
That Kamala Harris and Corey Booker were involved in this charade
They both have currently been working on a new bill to call lynchings a hate crime
And both are friends with Jussie and his noose!
They had hoped that this new law would pump up their presidential bids
I think it was the Chicago AG who just recused herself also rumored to be involved
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So, now, there’s video of the brothers buying the ski masks. There’s videos of them buying the rope. They’ve supposedly told the cops Smollett directed their actions and mailed himself that letter. The police have named Smollett as a criminal suspect and they’re presenting evidence to a grand jury.
But the cherry on top (speaking of the Bee):
Snopes Fact Checks Babylon Bee’s Story About CNN Offering Jussie Smollett a Job
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I’ve had readers fact check me! On a humor blog called “bluebird of bitterness”!
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LOL – Fact-checking Bluebird’s blog:
“Those avians pictured can’t really be your relatives! They’re from an entirely different species!”
“Cats don’t really make new year’s resolutions.”
“There is, in fact, a heart, in among those elephants.”
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Yes, yes, and yes. 🙂 And don’t forget the poor souls who flip out when I recycle stuff from the Onion, Duffel Blog, or Babylon Bee, and they don’t realize it’s satire. Were they really expecting to find actual news on a site called “bluebird of bitterness”?
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Now “‘Empire’ actor Jussie Smollett has been charged with one count of felony disorderly conduct for filing a false police report”
That’s all? They are going soft on the poor little dimwit.
There should be a Smollett Saga thread where all this silly stuff could be dumped… and otherwise ignored.
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Shall we set one up? And call it “Fake Noose”?
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