Author Archives: bluebird of bitterness

Historians Stumped How Kids Throughout History Didn’t Commit Suicide Despite Having No Access to Gender Surgery

From The Babylon Bee.

PRINCETON, NJ — Despite being armed with respectable PhDs, published papers, and bowties, historians remain stumped that kids throughout history didn’t commit suicide despite having no access to gender surgery.

They expressed astonishment that high rates of child suicide only exist in the country graciously offering gender surgeries to minors.

“We’ve pored over manuscripts, scrolls, hieroglyphs, petroglyphs, and really old tweets,” said Professor of Old-Timey Children’s Studies, Dr. Richard Pritchard, “But we’ve been left perplexed that both gender surgeries and child suicides were practically nonexistent in civilizations past.”

Dr. Pritchard had caused a stir in academia after claiming to have stumbled upon a centuries-old North American society that appeared to have offered gender-affirming surgery for minors. After peer review, however, his work was discredited with the discovery that the Aztecs were simply mutilating and sacrificing their children to the gods.

“It’s a common misunderstanding to confuse child gender surgery and ritual child sacrifice, as the two practices have such striking similarities,” said Pritchard, “For example, in both cases, the parents seek to trade their children’s lives for increased status in the eyes of their community and their gods.”

At publishing time, historians had announced confusion that past governments did not immediately collapse despite having no obligatory staff diversity quotas.

Leave a comment

Filed under Funny Stuff

AOC Proposes Nationwide Ban on Straws after Learning Trump Won Straw Poll

From The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, DC — Following former President Donald Trump’s overwhelming victory in CPAC’s straw poll for the 2024 Republican presidential nomination, New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has proposed legislation that would impose a nationwide ban on the use of straws.

“This poll shows straws are a threat to our democracy!” Ocasio-Cortez said in a statement to the media. “If straws are supporting Donald Trump and his dangerous ‘MAGA’ movement, then they have no business being in public circulation, let alone voting for President!”

“Plus, they outnumber humans, like, 2 to 1. That’s scary!”

The straw poll, conducted at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, showed Trump garnering a commanding 60% of the votes cast. This resulted in immediate calls from Democrats to subject straws to even heavier regulation.

The former President himself was quick to weigh on with a response. “The Democrats are just jealous,” Trump said in a post to his Truth Social account. “Dumb AOC is just angry that she can’t get 60% of a vote without rigging an election! I had the biggest, most beautiful straw poll in the history of CPAC! So many patriotic, American straws. Banning straws is un-American! How are supposed to drink milkshakes without them? WITCH HUNT!”

Ocasio-Cortez pledged to continue the fight against straws, no matter how long it takes. “If this straw poll showed us one thing, it’s that straws can no longer be trusted,” she said.

At publishing time, AOC had been seen at a local coffee shop gluing herself to a straw in protest.

1 Comment

Filed under Funny Stuff

Musical interlude

1 Comment

Filed under Music

Anthony Fauci releases line of Valentines

From The Genesius Times.

No one can get enough of America’s Doctor, Dr. Anthony Fauci, especially on Valentine’s Day. So, the good doctor has released his own line of Valentine cards for you to download, print, and share!

Comments Off on Anthony Fauci releases line of Valentines

Filed under Funny Stuff

Musical interlude

Comments Off on Musical interlude

Filed under Music

Deeply regrettable

By John Nash at Country Squire Magazine.

At the end of November, the BBC, our nation’s very own 5th column and bastion of national self-hatred, announced with glee that “Jamaica is considering whether to seek compensation from a wealthy Conservative MP for his family’s historical role in slavery” – a role from 400 years ago.

For those who have been hiding incommunicado in a covid bunker for some time and thus unaware, the treasure hunt called “Black Lives Matter” has given birth to a new form of the game called “reparations lotto” in which greedy black people who have never been slaves try to sue rich white people who have never owned any.

According to the BBC’s ovary-waving, token-studded irrelevance, Jamaica’s interest was apparently “stimulated by reports in the UK press”, a stimulation that is hardly needed and not surprising – in 2020 and 2021, the Guardian published a couple of weaselly articles that included the following tiny gems of journalistic rabbit-droppings:

“Richard Grosvenor Plunkett-Ernle-Erle-Drax, the Conservative MP for South Dorset,…lives in the palatial Grade I-listed Charborough House…Gilded life…extremely wealthy… Drax fortune…But for all his wealth and power, there is a dark shadow hanging over Richard Drax… his family’s historical links with slavery in the plantations of the West Indies”.

Richard Drax quite properly says his family’s historical role in the slave trade was “deeply, deeply regrettable”. I am sure it is now, but not at the time. Quite overlooked is the fact that his brave, pioneering ancestors cleared some Barbados jungle in the 1620’s and experimented with growing and processing sugar, a pretty impressive feat of enterprise back then, around the time of the Mayflower sailing, and thirty years before Britain defeated the Spanish in the area.

Showing all the wisdom of any modern tank-chaser, Martyn Day of Leigh Day, the lawyers who pursued baseless claims against British troops in Iraq, reportedly said of the claim, “the case against Mr Drax is undoubtedly a tough one”. Well understated, Martyn old son – there is the little matter of  ex post facto criminalisation to consider and Article 7 of the European Convention on Human Rights that says:

“No one shall be held guilty of any criminal offence on account of any act or omission which did not constitute a criminal offence under national or international law at the time when it was committed”.

Still, that won’t put a pack of hungry legal beagles off if a defendant has a huge pile of wonga that smells like pedigree chump. In today’s world, blame easily trumps that old fashioned concept called truth every time and, as it says in the Bible or somewhere, “Where there’s blame there’s a claim”. A nod is as good as a blink to a blind horse and blame is much easier to invent than truth.  Nod, nod, wink, wink, say no more.

It got me thinking.

First, Africans have been selling their neighbours as slaves since before recorded history – so slavery was more or less normal around the world at that time, even for Africans. When the penny dropped that slaves were, in fact, people and not just “things”, Britain became the world leader in attempting to banish slavery and we used our navy to persuade many other countries to follow – in fact, Britain spent such a huge amount on paying compensation to slave owners to free slaves, we only finished paying it all off in 2015. You read that right – 2015.  Not that we get much thanks, mind.

These slavery compensation claims tend to overlook the fact that the slaves carted off to the Caribbean were actually kidnapped and sold as property by other Africans to the traders in a continuation of centuries of trade. It was Africans who took away their freedom. Slavers were mere accessories after the fact. Whole series of kingdoms such as the Ashanti Kingdom existed in a permanent state of warfare in order to generate enough “prisoners of war” to sell to the slave traders and as many slaves were sent north across the Sahara and west across the Indian Ocean as were sent to the Americas, so good luck suing the Egyptians or Saudis as well. In truth, without British prohibition enforcement, Africans would still be selling each other in their equatorial Garden of Eden, a subject I will finger in a moment.

May I also suggest that, if restitution is imperative, you give the West Indies back to the Arawak people, the original indigenous owners.  There are still plenty of their descendants living around the northern parts of South America and a DNA test will establish entitlement.

People of African slave descent shouldn’t really point at historical UK. They should better start with today’s current problem – according to the Global Slavery Index, at least 40 million people are still slaves these days, and (oops) modern slavery is worst in Africa, followed by the Asia and the Pacific region. Just saying…..

I’ll bet the 40 million modern slaves don’t get to join in the annual United Nations’ International Day for Remembrance of the Slave Trade and its Abolition on August 23rd every year. Like most UN undertakings, the celebration is a tad premature, in their case.

So, Jamaicans, if you want to start mining compensation somewhere, why not start with Africa? Take my advice and phone your lawyer now – just don’t mention the batteries in your phone, using cobalt, a mineral largely mined in the Democratic Republic of Congo, where it is estimated that around 35,000 children are working in mines to extract cobalt. You see, a human rights activist involved in a legal case on behalf of those young African slaves, in Africa, had to flee the country for fear of death. It seems when the lawsuits go the other way, Africans can sometimes be a little edgy.

Comments Off on Deeply regrettable

Filed under Loose Pollen

Musical interlude

Comments Off on Musical interlude

Filed under Loose Pollen

Ugly Covid Lies

By Ron Paul.

After two years of unprecedented government tyranny in the name of fighting a virus, the prime instigators of this infamy are walking free, writing books, and openly pretending they never said the things they clearly said over and over.

Take Trump’s White House Covid response coordinator Deborah Birx, for example. She was, as the Brownstone Institute’s Jeffrey Tucker points out in a recent article, the principal architect of the disastrous “lockdown” policy that destroyed more lives than Covid itself. Birx knew that locking a country down in response to a virus was a radical move that would never be endorsed. So, as she admits in her new book, she lied about it.

She sold the White House on the out-of-thin-air “fifteen days to slow the spread” all the while knowing there was no evidence it would do any such thing. As she wrote in her new book, Silent Invasion, “I didn’t have the numbers in front of me yet to make the case for extending it longer, but I had two weeks to get them.”

She was playing for time with no evidence. As it turns out, she was also destroying the lives of millions of Americans. The hysteria she created led to countless businesses destroyed, countless suicides, major depressions, drug and alcohol addictions. It led to countless deaths due to delays in treatment for other diseases. It may turn out to be the most deadly mistake in medical history.

As she revealed in her book, she actually wanted to isolate every single person in the United States! Writing about how many people would be allowed to gather, she said: “If I pushed for zero (which was actually what I wanted and what was required), this would have been interpreted as a ‘lockdown’—the perception we were all working so hard to avoid.”

She wanted to prevent even two people from meeting. How is it possible that someone like this came to gain so much power over our lives? One virus and we suddenly become Communist China?

Last week in a Fox News interview she again revealed the extent of her treachery. After months of relentlessly demanding that all Americans get the Covid shots, she revealed that the “vaccines” were not vaccines at all!

“I knew these vaccines were not going to protect against infection,” she told Fox. “And I think we overplayed the vaccines. And it made people then worry that it’s not going to protect against severe disease and hospitalization.”

So when did she know this? Did she know it when she told ABC in late 2020 that “this is one of the most highly-effective vaccines we have in our infectious disease arsenal. And so that’s why I’m very enthusiastic about the vaccine”?

If she knew all along that the “vaccines” were not vaccines, why didn’t she tell us? Because, as she admits in her book, she believes it’s just fine to lie to people in order to get them to do what she wants.

She admits that she employed “subterfuge” against her boss – President Donald Trump – to implement Covid policies he opposed. So it should be no surprise that she lied to the American people about the efficacy of the Covid shots.

The big question now, after what appears to be a tsunami of vaccine-related injuries, is will anyone be forced to pay for the lies and subterfuge? Will anyone be held to account for the lives lost for the arrogance of the Birxes and Faucis of the world?

Copyright © 2022 by RonPaul Institute. Permission to reprint in whole or in part is gladly granted, provided full credit and a live link are given.

1 Comment

Filed under Loose Pollen

What loving your neighbor looks like

By Sean Dietrich
July 3, 2022

Mendon, Missouri. Population 171. There’s really nothing here. The tiny town is located off Route 11, just south of Yellow Creek. You’re three hours west of Saint Louis, two hours east of Kansas City.

It’s quiet. No attractions. No major landmarks. Nobody famous ever lived here unless you count Vern Kennedy, right-hander for the White Sox, circa 1934.

If you’re looking for entertainment in Mendon, your main option is Busch Light. But you’ll have to drive all the way to Brunswick to find a liquor store.

“We are just country folk,” said Mendon native Carol Ann Wamsley, “and that’s what makes us a special place.”

At its heart, Mendon is a railroad town. The first iron tracks were laid in 1887. Within a decade, a town sprang up. You had a few dozen storefronts, a school, a newspaper, and a couple churches with steeply conflicting views on eternal damnation. Most of that is gone now.

Today, the Atchison Topeka & Santa Fe Railroad line still passes the northwest side of the community, only now it’s the Southern Transcon Railroad.

The Amtrak Southwest Chief runs through town regularly. On summer afternoons you can see the Amtrak locomotive in the distance, racing across the prairie like a polished chromium bullet. But the train never stops here. It just keeps moving.

Until last week.

It was a Monday that will live in infamy. The Southwest Chief made an unexpected stop near Mendon, of all places.

The Chief was traveling 87 mph, bound for Chicago. There were more people aboard than there are living within Mendon’s city limits.

Up ahead a dump truck was on the tracks. The truck was obstructing the crossing of County Road 113. This was not a small truck. This was a vehicle about the size of a Sonic Drive-In.

The train never slowed.

The sound of the collision could be heard from as far away as Westville. It was the noise of two General Electric diesel locomotives and seven Superliner cars plowing into a mass of Dearborn steel. The train was derailed.

Ron Goulet was riding coach.

“…I was airborne. Everything was tumbling. People on top of people. The train rolled on its right side—the entire train, except for the front locomotive.”

Carry-on bags went everywhere. Elbows collided with craniums. Shoes crashed into jaws. Children clashed against the ceiling.

“When I climbed up and out of the train…” said Ron, “I was stunned that the entire thing was lying on its side. Not in a jumbled mass, but all laid over on the side.”

The story made national headlines, of course. Reporters from national newspapers visited. They photographed, videoed and wrote. Cable news anchors wore frowny faces and mentioned the wreck, just before cutting to commercials urging elderly viewers to reverse mortgage their livers.

But somehow, the bigger story about what happened in Mendon was lost. Somehow, you didn’t hear about Mendon’s magnificent people.

Sure, you heard about the wreck itself; the 150 injured, and the four fatalities. But you didn’t hear about how the residents of Mendon—nearly every single resident—rushed to the scene of the accident.

Throngs of ordinary townspeople arrived before first responders even knew about the crash. There were volunteers crawling out of the wallpaper.

“It was a wonderful problem to have,” said school district superintendent, Eric Hoyt, “but we probably had too many volunteers show up.”

People came from all over Chariton County, riding beat-up Silverados, ATVs, or arriving on foot. They came from Sumner, Marceline, Cunningham, Brookfield and Indian Grove.

Two Boy Scout troops dutifully helped injured victims from the wreckage. Local high-schoolers were fashioning bandages out of bandannas. Old women recited the Lord’s Prayer alongside strangers in blood-stained clothes.

There were farmers, off-duty nurses, truck drivers, soccer moms, Little League coaches and grade-schoolers. They were doling out food, first aid, bottled water and, most importantly, phone chargers.

Victims were taken to local homes, fed, bathed and bandaged. Weeping passengers were embraced by rural preachers. Passengers using wheelchairs were lifted from the rubble by young men in ropers and camouflage caps.

Local schoolbus drivers transported the wounded to hospitals. Northwestern High School staff members triaged victims in the gymnasium and fed people in the cafeteria.

One resident said that Mendon didn’t feel like a 171-person town anymore. “It was like 671 people came together.”

And the most unusual thing about all this is: None of this is unusual. At least not within the national tapestry that is The Great American Small Town.

Although we rarely hear about such acts of compassion and lovingkindness within our society, believe me, they happen. Every day. Every hour. Ordinary Americans will astound you with their goodwill. Sadly, ordinary American journalists aren’t interested in being astounded by such things.

Either way. Now you know the rest of the story.

1 Comment

Filed under Loose Pollen

Taking stock

STOCKHOLM

STOCK CAR

RIFLE STOCK

OVERSTOCK

STOCK EXCHANGE

STOCKING CAP

STOCKPILE

LIVESTOCK

WOODSTOCK

SOUP STOCK

BIRKENSTOCK

LAUGHINGSTOCK

1 Comment

Filed under Funny Stuff