Category Archives: Funny Stuff

From The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—News media outlets around the country were reportedly astonished to discover a Christian school at which second lady Karen Pence is teaching holds their students and staff to Christian beliefs.

Expert journalists went to great lengths to uncover this story, unveiling the shocking revelation that a Christian woman teaches at a Christian school that affirms Christian doctrine on human sexuality that has been unchanged for 2,000 years.

“It is the current year, and Christian schools still have the nerve to teach Christian things,” said a CNN commentator. “I will now glare at the camera in silence for the remainder of the program so you know just how upset I am by this.” He only lasted 3 minutes, however, before going on a tirade about something Trump said on Twitter.

“We don’t hate Christians,” said a writer for one left-leaning blog. “We just hate Christians who believe Christian things.”

From The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Several aides sat Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez down Monday to show to her how her radical, socialist tax plans simply don’t add up, explaining how she needs to make radical changes if she’s going to make any headway implementing her policies. 

In response to the cold, hard numbers that shredded her economic plans, Ocasio-Cortez pointed out that she was being unfairly targeted by objective facts because she’s a woman and a minority.

“When my economic plans are revealed to be hopelessly flawed, it becomes obvious that numbers have a deep-seated, institutional bias against me because I’m a woman,” she said. “Would the numbers call this stuff out if I were a man? No, of course they wouldn’t. Mathematical facts are simply not comfortable with a powerful, strong woman like me.” Continue reading →

Continue reading →

From the Babylon Bee:
UN Warns Climate Change Will Destroy Earth By 2005

“We’ve run all the numbers, and it’s absolutely clear: every inch of dry land on the planet will be totally submerged by the year 2005,” said one member of the panel. “This is an absolute scientific fact.” Continue reading →

‘Kavanaugh Doesn’t Have The Right Temperament!’ Screams Protester Lobbing Grenade Outside Supreme Court

“He clearly doesn’t have the ability to remain calm and rational rather than allowing his emotions to govern his decisions!” she screamed, chucking the explosive device as other protesters and counter-protesters dived out of the way. “IRRATIONAL PEOPLE DON’T BELONG ON THE SUPREME COURT!”

“We just can’t let a guy who’s that emotional get so much power,” she said. “That’s why all men literally need to DIE!”

From the Babylon Bee.
Senate To Be Replaced With Room Full Of Monkeys Throwing Feces

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an emergency overnight referendum, the American people voted on Thursday to replace the United States Senate with a room full of monkeys throwing feces. The measure passed with 57% of the vote. 22% of voters thought the Senate should be replaced by barking seals, while 17% voted that the replacement should be the pit of venomous snakes from Indiana Jones.