Posted by Pistol Pete
I was sitting here at my machine yesterday and I said to myself:self,it’s about time for a respite from the insanity going on everywhere.So I dug deep and found some different articles,some funny,some sad,some heartbreaking and some heartwarming.
I’m in a goofy mood,so I hope to make you chuckle or at least smile.
Note:no elected officials or domestic animals were harmed in the making of this blog.
polination.blog 
HOME INTRUDER BRINGS A KNIFE TO A GUNFIGHT
The results are predictable
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/03/07/knife-wielding-home-intruder-meets-gun-wielding-homeowner-it-didnt-end-well-for-one-of-them/
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SUPER BOWL MVP JOE FLACCO SECOND-HIGHEST PAID PLAYER IN THE NFL
He just signed a 6 year,$120 million deal,which is the biggest contract in NFL history.However,he lives in Maryland,where the total tax bite is 51%.So actually,he’s behind the Saints’ Drew Brees based on where they live.
http://www.atr.org/tax-bite-leaves-flacco-second-best-a7506
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LAWYER SAYS MAN CONVICTED OF MURDER,RAPE HAD IT TOUGH
So did a lot of other people…what’s your point?
http://www.ocregister.com/news/livingston-498514-apkarian-jurors.html
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‘CELEBRITY WIFE SWAP’ MAKES COOLIO’S GIRLFRIEND REALIZE SHE COULD DO BETTER
Lay around doing nothing,expect your wife to do all the housework,care for YOUR kids and heed your every whim and sometimes reality will grab you by the boo boo and toss your lazy ass out.
http://tv.yahoo.com/news/11-craziest-moments-from-mark-mcgrath-and-coolio-s–celebrity-wife-swap–episode-031758665.html
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MAN GOES BERSERK WITH AXE AT DUNKIN’ DONUTS
What is it about Dunkin Donuts that makes people go wacko?are they serving coffee with a side order of hallucinogenics?
http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/local/Dunkin-Donuts-Attack-Ax-Man-Arrested-New-Britain-195687051.html
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I must at all times live withing a half an hour from a Dunkin Donuts. Life is that simple for me. Small with double whole milk. Perfect. Still comes in a cardboard cup and a lid that works and does not require the coffee to pass through plastic.
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When Dearest and I got serious about marriage, we spent all night talking, then at 5:00 am went to a Dunkin’ Donuts for breakfast. We wrote out lists, pro and con, for marriage. The waitress and a couple of truckers on the counter stools nearby helped. The pro con was longer, so after we finished eating, we decided we should find the next Mass in town and let God have the final say.
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🙂
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My first experience with working for an actual employer was at the (then) brand-spanking new Dunkin Donuts in Wheaton. I was 16, and I was very excited about having my first real job. It turned out to be a real eye-opener for me, in more ways than one. I had led rather a sheltered life and was very naïve. That job was in some ways my first taste of life in the real world. I still regale my longsuffering children with my vast treasure trove of amusing anecdotes from the year I spent working at Dunkin Donuts.
Oh, and I still love their coffee. I get it whenever I can, which isn’t very often, since there aren’t any near me… but when I happen to be where there is a DD, I buy the extra-super-jumbo size coffee. Mmmmmm….
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BOB-I think I have been to that DD, back when I still ate donuts once in a while. Is it the one on Main Street? It is still there, not like the High School. I guess some things never change.
Chrissy-what a cute story. Love begins at Dunkiin Donuts. Maybe you can sell the idea to their ad agency.
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Is it really still there? I don’t get to Wheaton very often since my parents died. When I go to Illinois, I stay with my best friend in West Chicago (we’ve been friends since kindergarten), and as there are two DDs within easy driving distance of her house, we always go there for coffee.
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82 YEAR OLD WOMAN FALLS AFTER BEING THROWN OFF TRAIN FOR SINGING GOSPEL HYMNS
Maybe she should have sung some rap songs instead
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/03/07/help-82-year-old-woman-falls-after-being-forcefully-kicked-off-miami-train-for-singing-gospel-hymns/
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It was good to see people came to her defense about how she was treated, but that said, I would find it annoying to be subjected to singing on the train. Most people cannot carry a tune, and maybe this woman was in that realm.
Now if STING was singing, I would never get off the train.
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If they had a clearly stated rule and she violated it, then they were justified in removing her from the train. And I can understand other passengers being annoyed, regardless of what type of music she was singing, and even if she had a good voice. When I’m stuck in a bus or a train or an airplane, I like to pass the time by reading, and it becomes difficult, if not impossible, when there are other distracting noises occurring around me. This is why I absolutely detest televisions in waiting rooms. Every waiting room in the Western Hemisphere seems to be infested with the things, and they are always blaring away at top volume. I always turn them off if I can get away with it.
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PRAYERS UP FOR ‘RHODA’-VALERIE HARPER DIAGNOSED WITH INOPERABLE BRAIN CANCER
Doctors have given her three months to live.I cannot imagine having somebody put a time limit on my life.
http://www.ibtimes.com/valerie-harper-rhoda-mary-tyler-moore-diagnosed-terminal-brain-cancer-has-only-months-live-1113953
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I wonder if she drank an lot of diet coke. This has been shown to lead to brain cancers.
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MAN LEFT IN SOLITARY FOR TWO YEARS CONFINEMENT GETS $15.5 MILLION SETTLEMENT
I hope part of this guys settlement was getting to kick somebody in the balls
http://abcnews.go.com/US/prisoner-left-solitary-years-receives-155m-settlement/story?id=18677197
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NAKED PICTURES ON THE INTERNET WOULD BE RESTRICTED UNDER PROPOSED FLORIDA LAW
I’ll sleep better tonight knowing that.
http://www.wtsp.com/news/florida/article/302751/19/Bill-would-put-limits-on-nude-photo-posting
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FUNNIEST VIDEO TODAY
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THOUSANDS OF MIGRATING SHARKS SHUT DOWN FLORIDA BEACHES
Actually,it was just a convention of trial lawyers
http://abcnews.go.com/US/spring-break-shark-swarm-thousands-sharks-shut-florida/story?id=18673202
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The Chicago City Council just out for a swim while on vacation.
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NAVY SEABEES FIND NEW WAY TO CUT A CAKE….WITH A BACKHOE
Sure glad they’re on our side!
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/03/08/these-navy-members-found-one-of-the-most-innovative-ways-to-cut-a-cake-a-backhoe/
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That’s so cool! I even know what an entrenching tool is cuz my dd told me this story about boot camp.
“We were in the woods when this male soldiers hollers out, ‘FEMALES! HEAD’S UP!’ and flings his e-tool right at us. It landed on a poisonous snake at our feet and cut its head off! We hadn’t even seen it and were saying how grateful we were and where’d he learn to do that!? He just smiled and said all redneck hillbilly crackers can do that.” LOL
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entrenching_tool
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APPLEBEES WAITRESS ASKS PATRON FOR ID,GETS OWN STOLEN DRIVERS LICENSE IN RETURN
What are the chances of that?
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/applebees-waitress-stolen-id-drivers-license-154712609.html
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I knew a lady once whose ex had robbed a McDonald’s at gunpoint, then went back to the same place a couple weeks later and ordered a meal from the same counter person. He’d worn a mask, but his body type was very distinctive (real tall, with an unusually long torso). I always think of that when cops on t.v. say most criminals get caught cuz they’re just so damn dumb.
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Have you ever read this book?
It is hilarious! Full of stories of people who basically killed themselves doing stupid things.
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OKLAHOMA WOMAN ARRESTED ON DRUG CHARGES HAD LOADED REVOLVER IN HER VAGINA
I could make a crack about a hairy holster,but I won’t.
http://iowntheworld.com/blog/?p=175208
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I wish I had her phone number – I would pass it on to my anonymous caller.
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😀
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And I thought guys who shoved guns into their waistbands were dumb.
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They are!
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WHAT A WASTE OF TALENT
the world at his feet and drugs took him down
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SCHOOL CONFISCATES CUPCAKES DECORATED WITH LITTLE GREEN PLASTIC ARMY MEN
When I was a kid I bought these by the bag.What’s happened to us?
http://radio.foxnews.com/toddstarnes/top-stories/school-confiscates-cupcakes-decorated-with-toy-soldiers.html
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The Left hates the military, because the military votes Republican.
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I am so glad I am not teaching anymore, or a parent who has to deal with this crazy stuff.
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Me too.
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80% OF NYC HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATES CAN’T READ
Maybe Nanny Bloomberg should worry less about soda pop and our second amendment rights and more about the miserable failure outside his own door.
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2013/03/07/officials-most-nyc-high-school-grads-need-remedial-help-before-entering-cuny-community-colleges/
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Illiterate is exactly how they want them. That’s why the teacher’s union is in bed with the Democrats who are in bed with the media and Hollywood. It’s the new plantation.
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FOR ALL YOU CREATIVE LADIES:HOW ABOUT A BRA MADE OF MARSHMALLOW PEEPS?
http://www.buzzfeed.com/alannaokun/life-changing-tip-of-the-day-marshmallow-peep-bra
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Puts a new twist on Peep Show.
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JOYLESS BEWHORE LEAVING “THE VIEW”
I haven’t felt this much relief since they cured my Irritable Bowel Syndrome
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/03/08/joy-behar-out-will-no-longer-be-enjoying-the-view/
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It’s nice to not give a rip who is on The View or what Joyless is doing with herself. It’s peaceful, you know?
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Totally agree. They also are saying featherhead, Hasselback is leaving. The show must need ratings.
I still say, if they would come up with a show called the RE View, or Another View, the ratings would soar. Whoopie can stay on and take on the likes of Michele Malkin, Dana Loesch, and a conservative grandmother to take the place of BaBaWaWa. I would never miss that show.
Of course, this would never happen because the alphabets do not want anyone to hear the other view, even though it would be a cash cow.
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KLEENEX ALERT!
Airline helps man get to his dying mother
http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/plane-held-man-visiting-dying-mom-203506063–abc-news-travel.html
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THINK I SHOULD END THIS BLOG WITH SOMETHING CLASSY?
Naaahhhh
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I hope this is clickable. It’s wonderful … big smile maker!
http://www.wimp.com/ballpit/
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That was so cute. What a great idea!
I just hope no one throws up in the balls.
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Darn, the guy yanked that video. It sounded interesting.
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Proves once and for all farts don’t need a punchline.
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Just the word “fart” makes me laugh. ::snort::
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I am not sure if this FB link will work, but it is a 3 hankie must read.
A soldier comes home:
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