Posted by Pistol Pete
“Resentment is like taking poison hoping it will kill your enemies.”….Nelson Mandela
Little did he realize he occupied a jail cell where Barack Hussein Obama would stand one day. He’d have been thrilled.
R.I.P.
Before we start with the fun stuff I know some of you are dying to hear about the hard-hitting interview conducted by one Christopher Matthews.
It was everything you could imagine and worse.
He actually said this: “He came to us. He came amongst us.”
MK Ham tweeted: “And, lo, the president came upon them, and the glory of the president shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.”
It was really bad,folks. Bozo grinning from ear to elephantine ear as Tingles vomited drek all over his wingtips. Chrissy was smart to wear a dark suit so people wouldn’t notice him pissing on himself (I hope it was just pee.) Toughest question: who would be a better president? Plugs or Cankles? Of course,they’re the best veep and SOS EVAH,according to his royal Pettiness. There is a youtube embedded at the first link where Tingles is having a circle jerk with Howard Fineman,the stinking crapweasel David Corn and some broad whose face is blocked by the start button. I didn’t want to know bad enough to watch it to find out. Judging from the nicely tanned hands I’d guess it was their junior race baiter,Melissa Hairy-Scary. I’m pasting a couple links in case you’re really,really into pain.
“Al Gore accepted the fact, even though he won by 600,000 votes, that W. was president. And the Democrats accepted the legitimacy of George W. Bush 100 percent,” …you can’t make this stuff up…unless you’re a lib.
ENOUGH OF THIS!!!LET’S HAVE SOME FUN!
OBAMA’S TAKING SOME BEACH BUNNIES WITH HIM ON VACATION
Lord.forgive me,for I know not what I do.
Help yourself
polination.blog 
Would you cheat on your husband because he wears socks during sex? The top five reasons for women seeking affairs revealed
At DW’s age she’d rather have a nap than an affair.
or chocolate.Chocolate’s always good.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2517624/Would-cheat-husband-wears-socks-sex-The-reasons-women-seeking-affairs-revealed.html#ixzz2mieSDcaX
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Wisconsin DNR Struggling To Curb Sex At Nude Beach
Supposedly there is one in Mazomanie,Wis.,which is on the way to FIL’s house in Richland Center.If they’re doing it on the beach in this kind of weather,I wouldn’t mess with them.Seriously.
http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2013/12/01/wisconsin-dnr-struggling-to-curb-sex-at-nude-beach/
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Cops: Woman Shoots Husband in Drive-By
Apparently she caught him having an affair on a nude beach in Wisconsin
http://www.breitbart.com/InstaBlog/2013/12/04/Cops-Woman-Shoots-Husband-in-Drive-By
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I used to watch boxing on Friday nights with Grandpa when I was little.When somebody got hit hard and knocked down Grandpa would say:’he got his weiner knocked in his watch pocket.’
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14-CJLW_Hkg
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For the tortoise that has everything: The shellsuit guaranteed to put a smile on your pet’s face this Christmas
These are adorable.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2510555/For-tortoise-The-shellsuit-guaranteed-smile-pets-face-Christmas.html#ixzz2mihehNqz
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Couple Orders Breakfast at McDonald’s, Gets Huge Surprise Instead: ‘This Will Never, Ever Happen Again in Our Lifetime’
This must be a conservative couple.A liberal would have kept it.
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/12/04/couple-orders-breakfast-at-mcdonalds-gets-huge-surprise-instead-this-will-never-ever-happen-again-in-our-lifetime/
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The couple reportedly never considered keeping the money for themselves. “The second that he said it was their deposit, my first thing was let’s get in the truck and take it back. There is no other way to have it. I couldn’t live with myself,” the wife said.
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If only we were a nation where NOT returning it evinced shock and news-worthy surprise.
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This Wendy’s Employee Is REALLY Not Helping Protesting Fast Food Worker’s Case for $15-Per-Hour Minimum Wage
Choose your fast food restaurant carefully.
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/12/05/this-wendys-employee-is-really-not-helping-protesting-fast-food-workers-case-for-15-per-hour-minimum-wage/
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We had a cat who did this.We had to nail the tree stand to the floor!
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Have you seen the upside down trees people hang from the ceiling? I bet cats go bonkers wanting to get at them.
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Does smoking pot cause man boobs?
Exhibit one:Michael Moore
Exhibit two:Slick Klintoon
http://edition.cnn.com/2013/12/05/health/youn-pot-moobs/index.html
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“exposure to the active ingredient in marijuana can result in a decrease in testosterone levels, a reduction of testicular size, and abnormalities in the form and function of sperm” … who knew?!
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US lawsuit demands ‘legal personhood’ for chimpanzees
Don’t say it…don’t say it…don’t say it.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/10490128/US-lawsuit-demands-legal-personhood-for-chimpanzees.html
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Homeless Man Charges $2000 For Course In ‘Applied Homelessness’
wait…wait…wait.
If you can afford to give this guy two grand,why would you want to learn to be homeless?
http://www.breitbart.com/InstaBlog/2013/12/02/Homeless-Man-Charges-2000-For-Course-In-Applied-Homelessness
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enjoy
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Your moggy DOES know your voice… but just ignores it: Evolution means that cats have no need to pay attention to owners
That’s why men love dogs.Cats have no use for you unless they’re hungry or the litter box is ripe.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2514776/Your-moggy-DOES-know-voice–just-ignores-Evolution-means-cats-need-pay-attention-owners.html#ixzz2ming6zGt
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Haha! You’ve never met my cats, Pete!
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Cuddles can also be very high on their list … but on their terms only. If they’re not in the mood, your needs will get your a big zero. LOL … Come to think, my poodles aren’t much different. They’ll move away from me if I try to snuggle them when they’re not in the mood, but too bad if I’m reading when they decide they need “sugar” (lay on my tummy for full body massages) … at the same time. LOL
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Sounds like your poodles and my kitties have a lot in common. Other than having absolutely wonderful human caretakers, of course.
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Indiana University Removes Controversial “Black Santa” Display
There is only one true black santa clause.He lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.Its how he got elected.
http://www.breitbart.com/InstaBlog/2013/12/05/Indiana-University-Removes-Controversial-Black-Santa-Display
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His Naughty-Nice list is nothing like St. Nick’s. Plus, I don’t think St. Nick has a kill list. Or drones.
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Here’s a joke you might have heard, reworked by Pogosticks.
A Progressive Politician was up on a stage, at a podium, giving a speech about the benefits of Obamacare & why everyone should be signing up.
A lady in the audience stood up & asked the Progressive Politician how Obamacare would benefit her at her job.
The Progressive Politician, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, “What do you do?”
“I’m a rectum stretcher”, the lady responded.
The Progressive Politician stammered, “A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?”
“Well,” she said, “I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it’s about 6 feet wide.”
Then the Progressive Politician asked, “And just what the heck do you do with a 6 foot rectum?”
The lady responded, “You place him on a stage, behind a podium, to give a speech about how good Obamacare is.”
h/t to IOTW
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Snort. This reminds me of a Catholic joke. A priest was annoyed about being stopped for going barely over the speed limit. As he took the ticket, he smiled and told the cop to bring his folks down to the church sometime. “I’ll marry them for you.”
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In western Australia,some filmmakers put out some crocodile bait and set up a camera to film footage of them eating.An eagle snatched the camera and took it for a ride.This is what it looks like when you can soar.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpt-VWo_BWc
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Son punched father in argument over missing cheese packets from box of macaroni & cheese
Honour thy father and mother…unless he bogarts the cheese for your macaroni.These people can vote,folks.
http://iowntheworld.com/blog/?p=215665#PIA5O2aEilyWhWhm.99
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Kraft mac & cheese packet contains artificial food dyes yellow #5 and yellow #6 which are proven to be linked to hyperactivity in children. Just sayin’.
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Hidden Glass Meth Pipe Causes A Bloody Mess
Ladies, do not place drug paraphernalia in your vagina
Sounds reasonable to me.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/broken-drug-pipe-in-vagina-576432
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‘Duck Dynasty’ Christmas album outsells Streisand, Miley Cyrus, frowns on long troop deployments
Can’t wait for their Christmas special next Wednesday.
http://washingtonexaminer.com/duck-dynasty-christmas-album-outsells-streisand-miley-cyrus-frowns-on-long-troop-deployments/article/2540055
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I ope in some way you’ve enjoyed a little respite from Obama fancying himself to be Mandela’s equal.Storms A-comin’,be safe.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_1162435997&feature=iv&src_vid=V4LnorVVxfw&v=KcC3Dsjix_c
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What a week, huh? Thanks for the diversion, Pete. And I appreciate the play-by-play of the Tingles interview. I had not the stomach to watch. Seriously.
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No kidding — that would be a real exercise in masochism.
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Pete … going above and beyond! 🙂
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Please … I beg you … could we find a different nickname for Chris Matthews? … how about C-Matt? Kinda refs the you-know-what stained doormat this repellent little toad has made of himself.
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