Posted by Pistol Pete
As is my wont from time to time,I’m bringing you a mostly good,strange,offbeat or funny articles.Lord knows the weeks get depressing enough as it is.
GP,I’d like to come to see Cong. Walsh,unfortunately I don’t have enough oxygen in my portable tanks to make it in there and back.I have to order on Friday and it gets delivered Monday.
Chrissy:I’m continuing to pray for you and yours.God will watch over you,I promise.He cares for me,and I’m a complete pain in the hind quarters.
The news,as it is,and probably will be by the time Monday rolls around again:
Obama will have Newtown mom give weekly address to take exploitation of the dead to a new level
North Korea threatens to fire nuke;Obama pretends not to know,genuinely doesn’t care
Secretary Liveshot continues Asian tour to remind everybody he served in Viet Nam
Nancy Reagan too ill to attend Baronness Thatcher’s funeral;Cankles will go,just to cheapen things up considerably
McCain,Toomey will probably be on all the Sunday shows now that they’ve ‘seen the light’ on gun control and sold out their own party along with a few collaborators
Feeling underexposed,Mooch will give commencement speeches in three different states this year.She’ll tell students there was a time they could have gotten a good job and made good money.Until her baby daddy ruined the economy,destroyed the market for young people and spent every cent they would have made.You youngsters keep voting for your friends the democrats,mkay?
By the Grace of Almighty God,we’ll still be here come Monday.
YOUR CHILDREN DON’T BELONG TO YOU
found this picture and thought it fit
polination.blog 
THIS IS THE LINK TO THE ARTICLE ABOUT MOOCH’S COLLEGE TOUR
I think I went off on this already
http://weaselzippers.us/2013/04/11/underexposed-first-lady-to-deliver-commencement-addresses-in-kentucky-maryland-and-tennessee/
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FORMER DEM REP’S NEW GIG: HEADING PANEL EXPLORING EXISTENCE OF ALIEN LIFE
Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick is the proud mama of Kwame Kilpatrick,former mayor of Detroit,who was so completely corrupt as he was inept,he’s doing prison time.You just can’t keep these vermin down.
http://www.detroitnews.com/article/20130411/POLITICS02/304110362
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DATELINE BELARUS:MAN TRIES TO TAKE PHOTO OF BEAVER
BEAVER BITES MAN
MAN DIES–REALLY
Moral:approach any beavers with teeth carefully.
Video included
http://www.webpronews.com/beaver-kills-man-who-tried-to-take-its-picture-report-2013-04
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79 YEAR OLD WOMAN AWAKES FROM 5 YEAR COMA;FIRST THING SHE ASKS FOR IS TO SEE BOB SEGER
She will be taken to one his concerts by limousine.It would not surprise me if she got an all-access pass as Bob’s number one fan
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McDONALD’S CRACKS DOWN ON ‘RUDE’ AND ‘UNFRIENDLY’ STAFF AFTER NUMEROUS CUSTOMER COMPLAINTS
I went in to a Mickey D’s once,and there were a bunch of kids working.I stood at the counter over 10 minutes while they played around in the back.There were 2 other customers there who had already been served.I left and nobody noticed.The next day I went back and gave the manager a lecture on customer service.I don’t know if it ever made a difference,because I never went back to it again.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2307865/McDonalds-cracks-rude-unfriendly-staff-amid-numerous-customer-complaints.html
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I had the same experience at two clothing stores. I complained to both managers. One fired the girl; the other blew me off. No points for guessing which one I patronized again.
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430 POUND WOMAN ROBS BANK WITH ‘BOMB’ WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE TWO CANS OF SPAGHETTI SAUCE.
WAS THE SAUCE WITH MEAT,OR MUSHROOM AND GARLIC?
http://www.myfoxny.com/story/21951328/spaghetti-sauce-stickup
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MATTEL COMES OUT WITH LINE OF BARBIE ‘DOLLS OF THE WORLD’
MEXICO DOLL COMES COMPLETE WITH PASSPORT
Look for Mattel to get audited.Liberals don’t appreciate subtle humor.
http://weaselzippers.us/2013/04/11/new-mexican-dolls-of-the-world-barbie-comes-with-passport-libs-go-nuts/
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SOCIAL WORKERS RETURN TWO YEAR OLD TO ABUSIVE MOM AND BF;CHILD BEATEN TO DEATH.JUDGE DECLARES CHILD WAS ‘FAILED TO DEATH.’
The most horrifying words to a kid:mom’s boyfriend is moving in.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2307873/Michael-Harris-case-Judge-lashes-social-workers-failing-protect-toddler-savagely-beaten-mother-boyfriend.html
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Well … golly … if that kid was keeping mom from having her boyfriend in her bed servicing her “needs”, then he needed to be post-birth aborted. Oh, he was two years old, you say? So? Seems to me a noisy, demanding toddler is WAY more of an impediment to a woman’s SELF-fulfillment than an unborn fetus. And if you can tear the one limb from limb, why can’t you beat the other to death if you decide you don’t WANT it any more?
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WASTE 1:13 OF YOUR LIFE WATCHING A WOODCHUCK EAT AN ICE CREAM CONE.THEN REALIZE YOU’LL NEVER GET THAT TIME BACK.
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I don’t care about the 1:13 – it was worth it. Who knew??? I didn’t even know they could stand on two legs.
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Why would anyone let a woodchuck into their house?? They are just giant rats, and they destroy my garden!
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When my family was moving, the truck left to take a load to the new house. I stayed behind to take a nap on a mattress left on the floor. Apparently, last one out forgot to un-hook the door thingie and a woodchuck came into the house and wandered around. I was sleeping in an upstairs bedroom, woke up to find it standing on its hind legs, staring at me. Really unnerving. I startled it into running into another room and hiding in an open closet, so I called a friend whose dad was a wildlife specialist. He told me to lay down a trail of greens to the door and leave. Fortunately, we had some greens in the frig still and it worked to lure him back out without any more fuss.
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Yes, they are giant rats, and destructive (although not as bad as the deer)… but I have to admit they’re fun to watch. We always have a family of them living somewhere in our yard or in the woods nearby. The mama brings her babies to scavenge the bird seed that falls on the ground under the bird feeders. Even though they’re pests, I still get a kick out of watching them. Never occurred to me to offer one an ice cream cone, however!
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42 YEAR OLD MAN STRANGLED TO DEATH AFTER HIS CLOTHES GOT CAUGHT IN AN ESCALATOR
Sometimes I wish I could write obituaries for the paper.
Cause of death:stupidity
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2307851/Drunk-man-strangled-death-escalator-clothing-got-caught-it.html
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When I was in college a couple of drunk freshmen were running up and down the hall chasing each other with water bombs. Near the elevator, one of the guys ducked, and the other fell over him, hit the elevator, which popped open and he fell 10 stories. It was horrible.
Elevators are not to be messed with.
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Yikes!
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JOE BITEME SEES THE LIGHT!
INCREASES CHARITABLE DONATIONS FROM 1.5% OF INCOME TO 1.87%
Next thing you know he’ll be nominating himself for sainthood.
http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/bidens-increase-charitable-donations-187-percent-income_716310.html
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And those “donations” were probably to barry’s campaign.
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MAJOR KLEENEX ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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So cute!
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CNN’S JAKE TAPPER,FNC’S DANA PERINO IN RAP BATTLE
MUST SEE VIDEO!
Lets get something straight…white people with absolutely no rhythm or sense of timing should never attempt this.It just don’t work.
http://patdollard.com/2013/04/cable-news-rap-battle-cnns-jake-tapper-vs-foxs-dana-perino/
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Those were pretty darn funny – since I am not at all seduced by rap, I didn’t think Perino’s and Tapper’s were any worse than the guys who get paid to do it.
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CAREER CRIMINAL GETS 7 YEARS IN PRISON FOR STEALING OBAMA’S TELEPROMPTER
The guy steals stuff for a living;He didn’t realize what was in the truck when he stole it.
http://www.nbcchicago.com/blogs/ward-room/obama-teleprompter-theft-sentencing-202640431.html
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This is an embarrassment to my hometown, or a testimony – I haven’t decided which.
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I’VE HAD QUARTER HORSES,AMERICAN SADDLEBREDS,AN APPALOOSA AND ONE ARABIAN IN MY TIME.I NEVER VACUUMED THEIR TONGUES!
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Pete! I didn’t know you were “horsie” … my “After the Bucket List” includes having the horses I couldn’t have here.
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THEY’RE CASTING FOR ROCKY 6
These are antlerless bucks
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GHOULISH BRITISH LEFTARDS FORCE BBC TO PLAY ‘DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD’ DURING BARONNESS THATCHER’S FUNERAL
These liberal pukes have taken dancing on one’s grave to new heights
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2307480/Ding-Dong-The-Witch-Is-Dead-Well-play-5-seconds-say-bungling-BBC-Margaret-Thatcher-protest-song.html
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This ding dongs weren’t even born when she was in power. Just goes to show how brainwashed young people are these days. They truly think they are better off with a socialist instead of a leader who made the world a better place.
This make me so sad.
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CONVICTED KILLER SUES MURDERED VICTIM’S FAMILY
In the state of Washington he’ll probably get it.
http://screen.yahoo.com/convicted-killer-suing-murdered-victims-195300625.html
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MAN AND WOMAN FALL ASLEEP IN DUMPSTER.MAN CRUSHED TO DEATH,WOMAN IN SERIOUS CONDITION.
What kind of mental state do you have to be in to sleep in a dumpster?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2307923/Man-dies-trapped-dumpster-woman-survives.html
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I guess they were doin’ the dirty and the guy fell asleep after.
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MILLIONS OF WASPS FOUND IN 21X9 FOOT NEST
Just in case you were considering vacationing in the Canary Islands
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I don’t know where you come up with all this stuff, but it is very entertaining. The news roundup in your preface was just enough for a Friday night. I don’t need to get anymore worked up than I already am right now.
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As you know I don’t watch any news show of any kind anymore.Just keeping up through the internet is depressing enough.After days and hours and hours of reading articles I get completely turned off because nothing we do seems to make a difference.We get close to stopping dems hostile takeover of our way of life and along comes a duplicitous GOP-e type to help sell us down the river.By Friday I need to decompress.Things won’t change between now and Monday so might as well have some fun.
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I hope you know how much you are appreciated for all your efforts. It is always fun to come here for a few laughs, and some venting.
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Pete, Thank you for your continued prayer support. Maybe we should amend that saying to “God looks out for children, fools and pains in the butt.” 🙂
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My babies were both 2 weeks late. I am now learning how it is related to iodine deficiency. Make sure you daughter starts taking Lugol’s iodine and companion nutrients so that the baby does not inherit a thyroid condition.
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Thanks. Just passed it on to her.
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If the Lord,indeed,has his eye on the sparrow,how can he miss a target as big as me?
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