Posted by Pistol Pete
I make no promises,but this may be as funny as I’ve done in awhile
THIS IS EVAN MATHIS;HE’S AN OFFENSIVE LINEMAN FOR THE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES.
HE ACTUALLY PEED ON THE IRS SIGN AND TWEETED IT WITH THE MESSAGE:AUDIT THIS!
LOVE THIS ONE
GOTTA LUV THAT MAXINE
Filed under Funny Stuff
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polination.blog 
THREE ARRESTED IN DRUG,PROSTITUTION RING AT SENIOR CITIZEN HOUSING COMPLEX
OK,this is too strange.I’ve transported Medicaid riders who’ve told me when checks come out the first of the month,the dope dealers go knocking on doors to collect for the drugs they’ve peddled on credit and take orders for the upcoming month…like the old Fuller Brush man.I can see it now…I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a rock and a BJ today.I had a friend who was a nurse in a nursing home and she said you wouldn’t believe the hanky panky that goes on with these old farts.All I can say is EEEWWWWW.
I remember one really cold winter night when I crawled in bed between grandpa and granny and in the middle of the night Grandpa started shouting: ‘Quick!Get me a woman!!’ I told him to wake up,it was me he had a hold of.
http://www.northjersey.com/community/seniors/Drug_prostitution_sting_at_Englewood_senior_center_nets_three.html?page=all
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Oh my!
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I’m afraid to click the link on that one…
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OK,LADIES;COMPLETE WITH VIDEO.TWO MEN WHO CLAIM LABOR PAINS ARE EXAGGERATED GET THEIR COMEUPPANCE WHILE THE WIVES HIGH-FIVE EACH OTHER.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2325522/Two-men-use-labor-simulation-prove-wives-exaggerate-agony-childbirth–painful-realization-wrong-caught-film.html
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SOCIALIST VENEZUELA RUNS OUT OF….TOILET PAPER.HAS TO IMPORT 50 MILLION ROLLS.
That’s what government price controls get you.Say,do these Venezuelan coffee beans smell kinda funny?
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/05/16/this-is-the-last-straw-socialist-country-has-major-toilet-paper-shortage-and-heres-why/
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THEY ALL KNEW WHO JUDGE JUDY WAS….THE THIRD DUDE,SAYS ‘JUDGE JUDY’S A GANGSTA!’
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MAN ACCIDENTALLY SHOOTS HIMSELF WHILE BOWLING
I bowled since I was a youngster.I bowled several leagues and entered a lot of tournaments.When I hung up my shoes in 1984 my average was almost 190 per game.I never heard of anybody bowling with a loaded gun in their pocket!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2325151/Man-accidentally-shoots-swinging-ball-bowling-game.html
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ILLINOIS RESIDENT,MOHAMMED ACHMED,BUSTED FOR SOLICITING A PROSTITUTE…ON HIS HONEYMOON!!!
His wife must be seven shades of ugly to go looking on your honeymoon.FIL must be really rich. Probably owns an oil well….or a whole lot of camels.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2324594/Mohammed-Ahmed-Man-arrested-soliciting-prostitute-HONEYMOON.html
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Reminds me of Wedding Singer.
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Haha! I loved that movie.
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REPUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL IN WASHINGTON HAS 27 SENIORS GRADUATING.GUESS WHO THEY LANDED FOR A COMMENCEMENT SPEAKER
http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2013/may/14/palin-speak-republic-high-school-graduation/
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THE BEST (AND WORST) THINGS ABOUT BEING GLUTEN-FREE
http://shine.yahoo.com/shine-food/best-worst-things-being-gluten-free-143600398.html
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I am learning about this gluten-free stuff and it is hard, but not too bad. My daughter has been encouraged to go gluten-free for her autoimmune issues and diabetes so I don’t have much choice but to learn! It does seem like a good way to drop some pounds, too.
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I love Ezekiel bread. Also Tinkyada pasta. Finding gf brands of foods we still wanted in our diet helped a lot. That and just hanging on with new habits until they become the new habit. I actually demanded brussels sprouts for dinner tonight. I swear to you … I was CRAVING them. Dh steamed them while he boiled up the Tinkyada green pasta and sauteed some onions and mushrooms in coconut oil to toss on top. Mmmmm. It was SO good.
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The trick is getting used to making stuff from scratch, if you’re not used to doing it. I was raised on convenience food/industrial foods because my mother, God rest her soul, just didn’t know any better. It takes time and determination to change one’s habits, when it comes to food or anything else.
Cooking and baking are not my favorite things to do, primarily because they are so time-consuming, but I have gotten used to spending the time in order to be able to put real food on the table. It’s worth the effort.
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IT ALWAYS HELPS IF YOU’RE A LITTLE TIPSY
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THIS IS SAD; 91 YEAR OLD MAN SIGNED POWER OF ATTORNEY OVER TO HIS DAUGHTER WHEN HIS HEALTH WAS FADING.SHE SIGNED THE DEED OVER TO HERSELF AND IS TRYING TO EVICT HIM IF HE CAN’T PAY HER $125,000
You just hope and pray none of your kids wind up like this
http://www.theepochtimes.com/n3/58423-janice-cottrill-ohio-woman-evicts-elderly-father-from-home-reports/
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There’s a special place in Hell for this witch. Jesus talked about it during the Olivet Discourse. It’s that bit about “When I was sick, you did not care for me.”
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SLOW JOE MAKES LESS THAN $201.00 OFF HIS BOOK OF MEMOIRS LAST YEAR.
You gotta admit,it would be fun watching him run for preezy as a serious candidate
http://weaselzippers.us/2013/05/16/biden-earned-less-than-201-in-royalties-for-his-memoir-in-2012/
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ROFLL
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Oops, wait. Not so hilariously amusing. It came out 5 years before. Anybody who wanted it has already got it.
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HANDBAGS MAY HAVE MORE BACTERIA THAN A TOILET SEAT
So all you ladies open your purses and squat.Its safer.
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2013/05/15/study-handbags-may-have-more-bacteria-than-a-toilet-seat/
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MYSTERIOUS POOP FOAM CAUSING EXPLOSIONS ON HOG FARMS
Ok,this post has veered straight into the crapper.I don’t recall the manure from our cattle and horses ever foaming,but they had a lot of pasture to roam.Plus we gathered the crap from the barn and fertilized our fields with it.
Just noticed it was from Mother Jones.Anything from the rag that David Corn writes for is guaranteed to be shit.
http://www.motherjones.com/tom-philpott/2013/05/menace-manure-foam-still-haunting-huge-hog-farms
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Did you read all the way to the end?! They have yet to find the cause and the only thing they’ve found that works to prevent the foaming is massive doses of antibiotics … not in the pigs, but dumped on the pig shit! ROFLL
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THIS IS PASTOR MATT CARTER.HE WAS DOVE HUNTING WITH NFL QUARTERBACK COLT McCoy.HE ACTUALLY CAUGHT THIS BIRD WITH HIS BARE HAND.HE KNEW ENOUGH NOT TO FIRE WITH THE CAMERA MAN IN HIS LINE OF FIRE.
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Yup … “that was cool.” 🙂
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HOW ABOUT A PIZZA THATS HEALTHIER THAN A SALAD?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2325265/Dieters-dream–pizza-thats-healthier-salad-contains-47-nutrients-need.html
OR MAYBE JUST GO TO TACO BELL FOR A BREAKFAST WAFFLE TACO,COMPLETE WITH SAUSAGE AND SYRUP WRAPPED IN A WAFFLE TACO?
http://iowntheworld.com/blog/?p=185591
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57 YEAR OLD WOMAN USES BIBLE TO BEAT ANOTHER WOMAN
Hint:she probably goes to the Second Congregational Apostolic Methodist Freewill Baptist Living Waters Church on the Rock by the Side of the Road
IYKWIM
http://www.clickorlando.com/news/woman-uses-bible-as-a-weapon/-/1637132/20162464/-/13qi6xx/-/index.html
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FAKE NUNS ARRESTED FOR SMUGGLING SMACK
I thought about dating a nun once,but I knew I’d never get in the habit.
So I gave it up.
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