Posted by Pistol Pete
Some weird stuff today;
I just checked and it’s nearly the end of the month and I haven’t irritated my quota of people yet….
here goes
OH,IT GETS BETTER
OK,NOW MY EYES ARE BLEEDING
Added by CtH (who will be having nightmares now)
Filed under Funny Stuff
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polination.blog 
SOMEONE IN THE LAND OF MY ANCESTORS WAS CAUGHT WATERING THE SUPERMARKET PRODUCE
http://www.thelocal.se/50364/20130921/
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You know, I expect this in Norway, but not in Sweden. That’s just wrong. š
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I got news for you. If you are drinking municipal water, you are drinking a lot worse than that.
Distill your water!
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NY city’s dead skunk depot stinks up neighborhood
I wasn’t aware dead skunks were collectible
Have they taxed them yet?
http://bostonherald.com/news_opinion/offbeat_news/2013/09/ny_citys_dead_skunk_depot_stinks_up_neighborhood
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Hate laundry? World’s first HANDS FREE iron could make it a thing of the past – if you’re willing to shell out Ā£850
You have to do an awful lot of laundry
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2433038/Hate-laundry-Worlds-HANDS-FREE-iron-make-thing-past–youre-willing-shell-850.html#ixzz2g6mOOXcv
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Who irons?
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THESE TWO NITWITS CAN GET KILLED MESSING AROUND LIKE THIS IN THE ‘HOOD
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Wild Hogs Roam Streets, Scare People Near Atlanta
I could make a remark about the million hog march,but that wouldn’t be appropriate,would it?
http://atlanta.cbslocal.com/2013/09/24/wild-hogs-roam-streets-scare-people-near-atlanta/
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Man has his penis amputated after deliberately overdosing on Viagra to impress his girlfriend
It sounds funny,but my doctor says its really pretty serious.
Its been so long I really don’t recall
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2429046/Man-penis-amputated-deliberately-overdosing-Viagra-impress-girlfriend.html#ixzz2g6oFFYpi
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āAbsolute Complete Dips**tsā: Famed Country Singer Blasts Westboro Protesters in Stream of Blistering ā and Comical ā Tweets
Blake Shelton lets those knuckle-dragging Neanderthals from Westboro have it.Maybe Chrissy or BoB can make the tweets show up…I don’t know how
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/09/26/absolute-complete-dipsts-famed-country-singer-blasts-westboro-protesters-in-stream-of-blistering-and-comical-tweets/
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=jB5HlIeLNNI
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TOO CUTE!! Thanks, Pete. š
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Awww, that’s a Japanese Bobtail cat, I think. I was fortunate to be ‘chosen’ by one that looked very similar at a petco store, when I was only intending to buy food for our other cat. He was incredibly smart and wily, extremely affectionate with us and our dogs (generous with headbutts), and sounded like a mini Godzilla when he meowed. Nerosan was about 7 when we adopted him, and he lived his last 9 years with us. I miss that little guy so much, and this video totally reminded me of him. Thanks, Pete!
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Is any species more wiley that cats? They sure know how to work us.
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Last night I was late feeding my cats, and they were getting kind of annoyed with me… but I was busy working on something and doing my best to ignore them. Finally, Pumpkin (one of my grandcats) had had enough of my incompetence. She picked up ALL SIX of the cat bowls (they’re made of silicone rubber so they’re very lightweight), and she walked from the kitchen (at one end of the house) to my office (at the other end of the house) with all six bowls in her mouth, growling menacingly the whole time. She dropped the bowls on the floor next to me and looked up at me accusingly. I wish I had it on video, because it was absolutely hilarious. Anyway, she got her message across, and I fed them all.
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ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
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I can soooo see that. Or hear it. Those “Rooowwrrrrs” have so much sarcasm in them.
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I wish you had that on video!
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Birds of a feather sing together: Male chaffinches develop different ‘accents’ depending on where they live
What do you want to be when you grow up,little Johnny?
I want to get paid to study if freakin’ birds have accents
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2433595/Male-chaffinches-sing-different-accents-depending-live.html#ixzz2g6rFcfC2
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“Johnny” also figured out that birds also growl.
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An assistant manager at a Burger King in Deltona, Fla., saw a cash deposit bag on the floor outside the safe and took it home to āteach a lessonā to whoever left it there. Or at least thatās what he told the boss the next day after he noticed the bag was missing when he was making a deposit at the bank. Asked why he didnāt bring the bag back to work with him, he said he forgot. He was arrested.
NOW THATāS WHAT YOUāD CALL A GOOD FRIEND ā¦ The Royal Canadian Mounted Police pulled over a car in Halifax, Nova Scotia, because the headlights werenāt turned on. Inside, they found the driver with so many marijuana plants in the vehicle that his buddy had to ride in the trunk.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK IT WAS ME? ā¦ A man who robbed two banks in Waukegan and Zion, Ill., was caught when he posted pictures of himself on Facebook wearing the clothes he wore during the robberies.
WHO ARE YOU? PAUL BUNYAN? ā¦ A man was sleeping in a tent with his girlfriend at the Sourdough Creek Campground in Alaska when a bear tried to claw its way in, shredding the guyās inflatable mattress. The bear fled when the man hauled off and hit it with his fist.
MONEY? CHECK; GUN? CHECK; CAR KEYS? ā¦ OH, RATS! ā¦ A man robbed a bank in Portland, Ore., but left the keys to his getaway car there when he fled. He ran into an office building to hide, but the cops came and got him.
FIRST OF ALL: WHY ARE YOU GETTING MAD? ā¦ A man, who had a threesome with his girlfriend and another woman at a home in Myrtle Beach, S.C., got angry when the two women started paying too much attention to each other and not him. He made such a ruckus that his girlfriend had him arrested. When he was released, he came back, took her cellphone and stole her car. He was arrested again.
NO, WE DONāT WANT TO TALK TO THE CAT, SIR ā¦ A man who robbed a bank in Connellsville, Pa., then rammed a state police cruiser as he fled the scene told a judge that he did it because a cat told him to.
IF THIS IS SPAIN, WHY ALL THE FRENCHMEN, LADDIE? ā¦ A flight from Glasgow to Ibiza, Spain, was forced to land in France because 14 Scotsmen on board got drunk and were dancing up and down the aisle. They had bought duty-free alcohol in Glasgow and drank it on the plane. They were so intoxicated that when the plane made the emergency landing, āThey thought they had already arrived in Ibiza,ā a police spokesman said.
WELL, OBVIOUSLY YOUāRE NOT A FILM BUFF! ā¦ A man watching a movie at a Toronto film festival got so angry at people texting on their cellphones that he called the police. The emergency dispatcher laughed and hung up.
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It occurs to me that I have always thought law enforcement was a serious business. Clearly, I was wrong. LOL
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It may be serious business (most of the time, anyway) but it’s not a field anyone should consider going into unless he/she has a good sense of humor. š
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Couple Spotted Apparently Having Sex While Driving On Ike
this could only happen on I-290….those people are crazy
http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2013/09/24/couple-spotted-apparently-having-sex-while-driving-on-ike/
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Darn, they keep removing the video. I wanted to see if it was someone I knew, lol
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Watch servers when they get big tips
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I was opening envelopes at our wedding reception. One had $200 in it. My brother said, “Somebody poke her. I think she stopped breathing!”
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Concrete Posts Shaped Like Male Genitalia The Talk Of Scott Township
They look more like the play bullets from my old Fanner 50….but that’s just me
http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2013/09/26/scott-township-concrete-posts-the-talk-of-the-town/
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They’re scoffing, but the truth is that this kind of thing happens all the time, and the woman who complained is right. The stupid city hired some artist to design them and he made them obviously suggestive, because he can’t help himself. The City Official was probably in on the joke or they wouldn’t be pushing back so hard on the refit.
The same thing happened to us on the Titan launch vehicle program when our idiot executives commissioned a really expensive rocket poster showing an artist’s conception from above the pad. The artist took it as a challenge to make it as innocuous as possible on first glance, but otherwise as outrageously phallic as he could. The result was approved, somehow, but it became a huge corporation-wide joke, widely known as “the penis poster.” The poster was so bad, I can’t even show it to you here, despite all the scary stuff you have pushing the envelope, Pete. š
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I saw a tv show where an artist was sued for making a really big vagina. The town had approved drawings, but the drawings were very deceptive, showing the sculpture from the angles where it did not look like a vagina. The lawyer succeeded in forcing the town to keep the statue on display (and the artist kept her fee). After the media-saturated case, the lawyer tried to say something nice, like he could now “see” her point about the sculpture representing the community working together (the assigned theme), the artist said, “No, it’s a vagina. I did it for the publicity. My career is really taking off now.” I wanted to throttle the narcissistic bitch for USING that town and all it’s inhabitants, young and old, and sticking them a disgusting humongous veejay in its town center. I guess it was fiction, but wouldn’t be too surprised to learn it was based on something real.
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An exhibit, of moi? Miss Piggy makes grand entrance into the Smithsonian
Hey,its a slow news day,OK?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2431169/An-exhibit-moi-Miss-Piggy-makes-grand-entrance-Smithsonians-Museum-American-History.html#ixzz2g6unDtKI
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Wow, Piglousi hasn’t even retired yet and they are putting her on display.
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NY snake salesman seeking new home for 850 snakes
I’LL BET WOMEN DON’T DATE HIM MORE THAN ONCE!
A New York animal control officer found with more than 850 snakes at his Long Island home is searching for a new shelter for them.An attorney for Richard Parrinello says his client is seeking a commercially zoned facility that can shelter the snakes. He is planning to submit a proposal to the town of Brookhaven for the snakes’ removal by the end of the week.Authorities removed two 6-foot Burmese pythons from Parrinello’s garage last week.Burmese pythons are illegal to own in New York state without a permit. Most of the other 850 snakes found on Parrinello’s property are legal but officials said he violated town codes by operating his reptile-sales business without a permit.Town attorney David Moran says Parrinello seems willing to cooperate with the town. http://bostonherald.com/news_opinion/offbeat_news/2013/09/ny_snake_salesman_seeking_new_home_for_850_snakes#sthash.ocYXX7hu.dpuf
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I knew a buy in college who had a boa constrictor. He kept trying to get me to go out with him.
Some guys just don’t get it.
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I have a friend who loves snakes — she keeps them as pets. She’s a widow and lives alone, except for her many pets.
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The pet store guy told me he had an older lady who just loved her tarantula. Brr. Literally brr. I just shivered all over. It takes all kinds!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72DJZ7yT-HQ
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Hey, stupid. The Box means I vant to be alone!
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Aw, she’s so cute.
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Inspiring high school senior with cerebral palsy is elected homecoming queen by her ‘adoring’ peers
This is way cool
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2433182/Iowa-High-School-elects-inspirational-girl-Courtney-Tharp-cerebral-palsy-homecoming-queen.html#ixzz2g6wT8Yp7
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JUST WHEN YOU THINK THERE’S NO HOPE FOR MANKIND
18 year old doesn’t get her last wish of a pumpkin spice latte,but her story inspired a rash of paying it forward all over the globe
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2434640/Alyssa-ONeills-wish-Starbucks-pumpkin-spice-latte-inspires-pay-forward-campaign-world.html
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A Motherās Prayer May Have Prevented a McDonaldās Massacre, and the Cops Say Theyāve Never Seen Anything Like It
the unsaved will claim its a coincidence…I believe God had a reason for sparing these innocents
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/09/26/prayer-credited-for-preventing-mass-shooting-after-would-be-robbers-gun-behaved-in-very-mysterious-ways-at-mcdonalds/
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVq_1ULQVVo
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ManBearPig (aka Al Gore) reportedly said on the Today Show, “‘Our democracy has been hacked. It’s a computer metaphor.”
Oy vey.
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