Author Archives: GruntOfMonteCristo

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About GruntOfMonteCristo

Fearless and Devout Catholic Christian First, Loving Husband and Father Second, Pissed-Off Patriot Third, Rocket Engineer Dork Last.

Pope Francis Wins Papal Miracle Olympics; Predecessors Hit Hardest

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On Saturday, Pope Francis was in the Italian city of Naples. Observing tradition, he also stopped by the Cathedral to visit the 1700 year old relics of St. Januarius (Gennaro in Italian), the patron saint of the city.

The relics are the subject of a world-famous recurring miracle that has been happening more or less every year since 1389 when it was noticed that a glass ampule containing the dried blood of the martyr saint had become liquid during a procession, so that it could be clearly seen sloshing around in the container. Since then, the people of the city have considered it a miraculous event showing favor on the city and on visitors when it occurs. It appears to occur with some frequency, though not entirely predictably, for the last 600 years, usually on feast days associated with the saint. It has happened in the presence of many notable people and common folk alike, including Americans.

It has never – or nearly ever – occurred in the presence of a visiting pope. The previous two pontiffs, Pope John Paul II and Benedict XVI, both visited the relics, but each time the blood stayed stubbornly solid, dry and motionless.
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That all changed on Saturday, according to a number of news sources, including Breitbart. When the ampule was taken out of the vault by the Archbishop of Naples, he proclaimed that it was already halfway liquified. Soon after, when reverenced by the pope, it appeared to have fully liquified, drawing astonishment from the priests and congregation. As you can see from the two images above and below, the level of the red liquid maintained a horizontal aspect regardless of how the case was oriented by either the archbishop or the pope.
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Some scientific analyses have been performed on the blood relic over the years, mainly spectroscopy through the glass indicating results consistent with human hemoglobin. Skeptics have theorized that the occurrence is an elaborate ruse perpetrated in the middle ages using a self-liquifying substance sensitive to heat or motion, but no explanation has satisfactorily explained the variability of it. In any case, Pope Franko has received a dramatic boost in his status, at least among Napolitanos, who now talk about him cracking jokes during miracles and quite possibly being the first pope to return to the Vatican where a pope-emeritus is now obligated to buy him a victory beer at the Vatican Pub.

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Filed under Catholic Church, Pope Benedict, Pope Francis, Pope John Paul II

Really All You Need to Know About Progressives

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Steve Goddard is a vocal climate change “denier.” Just a coincidence, I’m sure.

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Filed under Media Bias, Science

See, America is the Bird…

This is the perfect illustration of America coming in for a soft landing with Barack Obama at the wheel.
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Except we’ve substituted this poor shore bird for the plane that is ‘America.’ Don’t want to spook anybody. I’m sure it’ll be all right. I think the bird survives, anyway…
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Video courtesy of BBC and an anonymous genius video editor. Hat tip to Wirecutter.

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Filed under Barack Obama, Humor

Obama Finally Has a Positive Impact: Israelis Claim “Obama Interference” Propelled Netanyahu to Victory

obama-pissed2jFor months now, we’ve been bombarded by political analysis after analysis claiming that Netanyahu was finished – that he was losing his chess game with the brilliant Obama foreign policy juggernaut. That he’d completely “blown his wad” and was headed for defeat. It seems that the Israelis knew different all along. Last month, the Jerusalem Post reported on a poll that showed Israelis firmly believed Obama was ‘interfering’ in Israeli elections.

Here at home, Fox News had a clue toward the end, as indicated by what Steven Edwards wrote two weeks ago:

Israelis are increasingly convinced President Obama is meddling in their upcoming election, and some observers predict the White House’s alleged effort to undermine Benjamin Netanyahu could indeed wind up tipping the scales – in favor of the prime minister.

But what gives me real confidence that our idiot President really pushed Netanyahu to victory is the word of an Israeli acquaintance, Yitzchak, who just emailed me this today:

It seems that obama’s attempts to fund and direct Bibi’s de-election campaign actually did just the opposite.  🙂  He so scared the Israelis that they came out en masse for [Bibi’s] support.

Good job Barack. You “keep doing you.

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Filed under Barack Obama, Benjamin Netanyahu, Elections, Israel

Jane Fonda to Warn the UN about Mysterious New Terrorist Threat

JFGruntington Post [United Nations] – Hollywood actress, radical and war criminal, Jane Fonda, was interviewed on Wednesday by the Associated Press prior to United Nations meetings next week where she will speak about progress toward women’s equality.  Her message?  “The most intractable problem that humanity faces is the problem of Patriarchy,” which she blames for the rise in terrorism and the destruction of the environment throughout the World.

Miss Fonda declined to specify the identity of this new “Patriarchy” person, but from her description, he appears to be some kind of superhuman terrorist leader.  Her comments make it unclear, however, if the person is even a human being.  He’s clearly a male of some species, but she also described him as a “beast, thrashing about, flailing its tail with the barbs on it, and a lot of people are really getting hurt badly.”  Some are speculating that the name implies some supernatural aspect, perhaps even an archangel of some kind.
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This theory is consistent with a figure from one of her past movies, Barbarella, in which an adversary took the form of a winged man.  Miss Fonda is pictured above with Pygar (note the name also starting with a ‘P’).  Clearly, she is in some form of distress and helplessness before the power of Pygar, now possibly called Patriarchy.  Oddly, her character is not always so helpless in the presence of the winged creature, as illustrated by the movie still, below right.

Pygar-and-BarbarellaMiss Fonda also commented on the need for strong female world leadership.  Changing laws “is a huge step forward” and helps empower victims, she said, but to achieve equality many other things are needed as well.

“You need women elected to office, you need movements in the streets, you need social media, you need every single form of social protest and speaking truth to power that’s possible,” Fonda said.

And a woman leader must lead “as a woman and not as a man in skirts” who thinks she needs to prove she’s not weak, she said.

Her value “is to bring her woman-ness to her leadership style” which means empathy, compassion and “someone whose head and heart are not bifurcated,” she said but then exclaimed, “Oh shit.  Did I just use the word ‘bifurcated’?  I was saving that for the UN speech.  I didn’t also just say ‘intractable’ did I?”

Go to TowhHall.com to see more of her interview where she really does say most of these things.

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Filed under Hollywood, United Nations

Ben Stein: Obama Is a Catastrophe, and the World Knows It

The following are excerpts from The American Spectator article by Ben Stein entitled, This Man Is Dangerous.
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Let’s be clear about this: Barack Obama is a great disappointment.

He’s been in office six years now. He has traveled the world nonstop, as has his former Secretary of State, Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton. He does not have one single foreign policy success to show for it. Neither does Mrs. Clinton. His whole foreign policy effort has been a disaster.
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Filed under Barack Obama

It’s Official: Marie Harf’s Legacy has been Enshrined in the Lexicon

She told us to get a dictionary:
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But she also told us we might be too thick to understand what we found.
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I really don’t think this is so hard to grasp.
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The only question is, which definition is official?
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There are so many that fit…
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Curmudgeon’s definition is just one word: ‘Liar.’
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Others, just three: “Not self-aware.”
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In any case, I plan to start using this new word A LOT. I think you should, too.

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Filed under Democrats, Marie Harf, State Department

You May Be Cool…

But you’ll never be the unique kind of cool that this guy was. Until today, when Leonard Nimoy passed away at 83 in southern California. We used to swim and catch crawfish on the Nevada side of Lake Tahoe within view of his mountainside home back in the 90s. It ain’t easy being green, we know, but for a Hollywood actor you were pretty ok. RIP, pointy-ears.
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Filed under Hollywood, Prayer

The Solaratov Report

For all of the bloggers who’ve discussed politics and shooting over the years with the Vietnam Special Forces veteran known as Vladimir Solaratov, we have a PoliNation exclusive report on how old Sol is doing. Last month, Grunt and GruntSon#2 ventured into the Midwestern backwoods to visit Sol in his bunker to shoot the sh*t around the fire, do a little minor work on the homestead and help Sol celebrate his 70th birthday and his survival of a rather serious recent bout with spinal cancer. He’s doing really well, considering the challenges he’s faced in his retirement. We had a blast spending a few days with him and his faithful attack beagle, ‘Buddy,’ and the one cat that was brave enough to associate with us while we were there. Here is the one picture we took of Sol and Buddy.
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After undergoing chemotherapy until very recently – around Christmastime, Sol has become a little slow on the draw, so I was able to snap the photo quickly and dodge the 7 or 8 .45 rounds that he squeezed off in my direction. One of them ricocheted off the wood stove and grazed the ceiling before hitting my son in the neck, but it had lost enough energy by that time that it only bruised him. I explained to Sol that if he only carried a 9mm instead of his big .45, he could have had a lot more rounds to shoot at me. That’s when he got me across the forehead with the Louisville Slugger he had stashed under his computer desk. I was just glad I regained consciousness before nightfall so I didn’t miss out on the black tequila they had at the local Mexican taco joint in town. That is good stuff!

So, honestly, I can report that Sol is as bad-ass as he ever was while blogging at HillBuzz or the Treehouse or 4GFC, and he seems to be surviving quite nicely. When our other friend and fellow blogger Harvey went to visit Sol in the hospital last summer, she reported that he was still looking pretty good, despite the toll of the cancer surgery. I’m sorry to say that is no longer the case. Sorry Sol, but the temporary hair loss has made you almost as bald and ugly as me. After a few months, I think the mustache should be fully restored, and you’ll be fuzzy on top, and the ladies will be knocking down your door again. But in the meantime, I suggest talking to them on the phone. Know what I mean? Still, if there are any eligible ladies out there who long for the company of a bona fide war hero who is in seriously good shape (from carrying firewood and chasing the attack beagle when he’s gone after random raccoons), who is clearly a genius and who will have his rugged Clark Gable looks back in a few months and has only modest firearm allowance requirements, let me know. I will get you in touch with him pronto.

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Filed under Bloggers

Grunt’s Saturday Late Night (OK, Sunday Night) Movie Micro Review – Get the Gringo

Reprinted from my post at 4gfc.wordpress.com back in 2012 because I just saw it again, and Mel is a genius. And not just because I’ve been hitting the Bourbon. Quentin Tarantino couldn’t make a movie like this if he was sober for a decade.

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Filed under Hollywood, Movies & Television