Category Archives: Funny Stuff

It is a tense time here at the old bunkhouse. I have always maintained the secret to a happy marriage is having two televisions at opposite ends of the house. I use the standard vision set I’ve had for years in my mancave,which ironically also happens to be our spare bedroom. DW got an HDTV for Christmas two years ago from her son. My TV has given up the ghost. The picture tube is shot. It is used largely as background noise while I’m doing computer stuff,but I always take time for my favorite westerns in the afternoon. Such is the life of an old retired guy who’s partially disabled. I’ll buy a newfangled telly tomorrow,but I have to get stepson to hook it up. He does all the audio/video wiring for us. He still works and has to make time to do it. I keep forgetting how inconvenient it is for people who still have to go to a job.

Eighteen years old. First non-double car date. Drive-in movie theater. Sweet young thing. We commenced to hugging and kissing and acting like two bunny rabbits. She looked at me and said:
‘Shouldn’t we wait until its dark or at least get back in the car?’
Windows fogged up,lips are numb,drool running from the corners of my mouth. Then she smiles,reaches one hand under the back of her sweater. A few movements and she pulls her bra out of her sleeve. It was my first experience with “shock and awe.”

A special greeting to anyone stopping by for the first time. We have some smart,creative people here to keep you informed. I’m the village idiot. It’s my job. It’s what I do.

If you can spare it,please consider making a direct donation to your preferred candidate during the Ten Buck Friday campaign. It’s the only way we can compete with the GOPe and the corporate interests bent on killing our way of life by bringing in tens of millions of illegals because they work cheap,drain the economy, and vote heavily democrat.

My phone rang just after 5:30 this AM…it was stepdaughter calling. Her hubby’s car breathed its last on the way to work. They live about 40 miles away and work in opposite directions,so two vehicles are essential. My beloved child bride saddled up and sped off to pick up SIL so he could use her car until they buy a new one. That leaves us with my four-wheeled shitbox until she gets her car back. Hope the hamster doesn’t get too tired.

THIS IS THE FUN PART

The only good thing about getting old is you can use senility as an excuse for being harebrained.

[CtH butting in here cuz I came to PN for first time today, prepared to post my latest blog “Sometimes you just need your Mama” and the first thing I saw was Pete’s blog title!  LOLOLOL]

My beloved child bride has been gone for a few days visiting her dad behind the cheddar curtain. He’s 95 and she worries about him constantly. Now that she’s retired she can go anytime she wants to. I don’t mind,but there is a big piece of my life that is missing whenever she’s away.
I have to bathe, dress, and feed myself.
I have to load the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.
I have to clean the blood and broken glass off the floor.(don’t ask)
Had it not been for the invention of the microwave I’d go hungry. They weren’t invented when I got my first apartment and I lived mostly on bologna and cereal. I had to eat over the kitchen sink because I didn’t have a dishwasher. The laundry would pile up until the nice lady upstairs would wash my laundry for me. I played softball 2 nights a week and when I got a pair of white socks dirty I’d throw them under my bed and buy more. They were only five bucks for six pair at K-Mart. She dug them out once and found 28 pair. She went to the kitchen and found a week-old pot of pea soup on the stove with the spoon standing straight up. I was a lounge lizard back then,not because I enjoyed drinking but when you live alone and there’s no cable life could get pretty boring. I couldn’t see doing housework because everything was just going to get dirty again,right?
DW does nearly all the cooking and cleaning in our home and never complains. That’s just the way she is. I’ve perfected the technique of tuning her out when she does complain so she doesn’t bother much anymore.
Mama’s coming home today,but she’ll be off to her daughter’s or her BFF’s tomorrow. That’s how she is.

Yesterday was the most fun I’ve had with my clothes on in some time. Or off. At my age it makes no difference either way.
Spent part of last night downloading some really funny stuff. I’ve all but given up on IE. I can only hope death comes to me as slowly as it loads some pages. As granny used to say: ‘It ain’t worth the powder to blow it to perdation.’

Feel free to steal as many of these as you wish.

Chrissy: this is a “back at ya” for the fertilized egg joke!

TWO WORDS….CARPET MUNCHER

Got my business finished this morning. Feeling fine. Just fine. Are you fine? I’m fine,just fine. Drained my 40 oz. thermal mug of coffee….twice. Doing fine,just fine. Started hearing colors. Put the mug down and backed away. As soon as I finish this,I’m going to lay down and get some sleep. Or maybe have a psychotic episode. Might be fun. Do you think so? I think so. I’m fine,just fine.

Ordinarily,in the course of my day I get my papers delivered,come home,have some breakfast and research some websites before crawling into bed for my morning nap. However I have to do something first thing this morning which forestalls my retreat into dreamland. To stay awake long enough to do what I have to takes extra strong coffee. Been drinking it almost as long as I can remember. Never had a latte,cappucino,espresso or any of thise other $5 sissy drinks you get at Starbucks. I just wonder who the first person was who said: if I crush these beans and put them in hot water,I’ll bet it would taste AWESOME!

I know there’s not much chance anybody will see this,but if they do,I hope they get a little smile,at least.

I can’t believe I went to bed last night when the Beloved Bears were losing to the 49ers 20-7. Got up this morning and found out they’d rallied in the fourth quarter to win 28-20. Well,at least they won’t go 0-16 this year.

Not only do we have to put up with Obama for another 2 1/2 long years,now we’ve got these two immoral grifters coming back to hog the stage. I’m including a link about them today. Sorry,can’t help it.

Some funny stuff,some serious,just throw everything in a dish. Granny served up some really bizarre meals that way.
Not a lot of real hard news on the interwebs today,just a lot of opinions. And,yes,Granny had one for that,too:

“Opinions are like a**holes… everybody’s got one and nobody wants to hear from yours.”

[Graphic created and inserted by CtH, who is deeply grateful she was NOT drinking hot coffee when she read this latest Granny-ism.]

Just a little fun before my morning nap:

How many of these do you remember?

I used to put this under my pillow and try to listen to WLS’s top ten most requested songs quietly enough not to make granny tell me to turn it off.

I learned to drive in a 1953 Chevy like this with a three on the tree.

I had a discussion with GP on Facebook this week about 7th and 8th grade dances we had in the school gym. We called them sock hops. She said hers were just called dances. Remember ‘At The Hop’ by Danny and the Juniors?

CtH got this one right away

Granny used this stuff liberally. I could never remember which one stung when you put it on… this stuff or iodine.

SEE-SAW OR TEETER TOTTER?

Theses are the first three Barbie dolls made. The one on top is a #1,made in 1959. The one on the left is a #2 made in 1960. The ones on the right are #3’s made in 1961. The way you see them,if in excellent condition they’re worth $600-about $900. In the box they are currentlybringing $3000-$6000. Ten years ago they sold for twice that.

I watched my great Uncle Homer use this many times.

Hope you enjoyed. Be back a little later.