Category Archives: Funny Stuff

Went online this morning to reconcile my bank account with the figures in my checkbook. Apparently the bank is using common core math,because there was a substantial discrepency in the figures. I can’t see where the mistake is,but you don’t argue with the bank. Just assume they’re right or risk a visit from Mister Overdraft. Then you get that note in the mail informing you that the bank has charged you more of what they already know you don’t have any of.

LADIES?

I really don’t care. I just needed something to write in the header. Got my morning nap late because of an appointment to get some doctor-ordered bloodwork done (fortunately I still have some). The nurse on duty thinks the introduction of the ebola virus is going to be contained. I would be more concerned about the diseases brought here by all the illegal alien minors Barry has dumped in every state and allowed to enroll in school without a physical checkup. I have a link today about a possible 700 cases of TB in Texas. What does he care? Short answeris he doesn’t.

Yesterday was a better day. After several afternoon calls to the cable company my new TV is finally functional. It is a little creepy that somebody somewhere can push a button and control your service. Comcast giveth and Comcast taketh away. DW only snapped at me once and glared a couple times. I’m making progress.

I have way more links than I have room for. Hopefully I choose wisely.

A History Lesson

The most important event in all of history was the invention of beer. It required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.

Since bottles and cans had not been invented, early humans had to live close to the brewery. That’s how villages were formed.

The strong men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

The weak men stayed at home sewing dresses and dressing their hair for the evening BBQ and beer. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of the liberal men also domesticated cats and invented group therapy. The rest evolved into women.

H/t RMB

Sometimes it seems like when things start to go bad they go all bad.Went to RJ Pistol’s last home game Saturday.They were driving for the winning score when they fumbled the ball with less than a minute to play and ended up losing.DW and I ordered a carryout pizza and when we got it home it had the wrong toppings on it.Yesterday morning my stepson came over to hook up the digital converter box Comcast sent me for my HD TV and when he called to activate it,the system was down.I called again this morning and its still down.not to worry,the tech dept. Knows of the problem,saith the recording.They know it,didn’t bother to mention if and when they’re going to get around to fixing it.
DW volunteered (happily) to go to her GFs so I could watch the Bears-Packers game.it was such a blowout I turned it off and took a nap,forgetting to turn on the crock pot with last nights dinner in it.We ended up with leftover surprise.I’m listening to Rush online,so I have a couple hours to finish this before I have to arm wrestle my beloved child bride for the remote so I can watch Paladin on the Encore Western channel.

Note to self: never start a post when you’re so upset. Your emotions cloud your judgement and you end up with incoherent crap. I’d delete the whole post except I put so much work into it that it would seem a waste. Maybe there’s something worthwhile there,you have to judge. I owe you the best I have every day and sometimes,like they say,you got the words and you ain’t got the music. I have plenty of goofy stuff so I decided to put it in a separate post so it’s easier to pick stuff out.

As most of you know, Fridays are normally reserved for showcasing the offbeat, the bizarre, discussion of various body parts and the overall stupidity by some members of our species. Originally I planned to do just that when I got up this morning. But several things have happened that for some reason really,really set my hair on fire.
I generally do not post articles about black on white violence because it is so commonplace. Hannah Graham lost her life to a dreadlocked pile of garbage. A woman in New York was raped and after staggering a block begged another black for help. He raped her too. How many times have you seen stories of white victims of the perverse ‘knockout game’ they amuse themselves with?
I take most of it with a grain of salt and just thank God I live the life I do,with very little contact outside of family and a few people at the newspaper depot.
A deranged contract worker in Aurora,Ill. set a fire at the Air Traffic Control Center and it halted all flights in and out of Chicago’s O’Hare and Midway airports. It will take most of the day before flights can resume. D’ya think ISIS is taking notes on how to attack us?
I could continue this rant,but I’ll save it for the comment section. I will try my best to be as civil as possible out of respect for you,but no promises. Sometimes you just gotta let it out.

a sane person would stop right here

To any of our Jewish friends we wish you a happy Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. As Christians we recognize you are a cornerstone of the Judeo-Christian life and we stand in solidarity with you.

Rosh Hashanah celebrated globally, as Jews usher in the Hebrew New Year

http://www.upi.com/Top_News/World-News/2014/09/24/Rosh-Hashanah-celebrated-globally-as-Jews-usher-in-the-Hebrew-New-Year/7551411587454/#ixzz3ELQbsudO

My grandparents had a standing date every saturday night.They’d go to one particular restaurant for supper.I was maybe 5 or 6 when they first took me with them.When we were seated,Grandpa had his beer,Granny had her coffee and I ordered a glass of milk.I took a taste of it and called the waitress back.
There’s been a mistake…I ordered milk
thats what you have
No,it isn’t
Yes,it is
Then with as much indignity as a five year old can muster,I snapped:lady,I’ve been drinking milk MY WHOLE LIFE!!
It was at this point Granny had to tell her that I was used to milk straight from the cow.
Granddad was laughing so hard people thought he was having a seizure.He told people that story for years.

YOU NEED TO READ THIS ALL THE WAY TO THE END

Yesterdays post was really gratifying for several reasons.There was some back and forth and a number of people posted links to interesting things I’d missed.It’s hardly possible to cover everything and when I choose what to post it’s only a guess whether anybody will enjoy it.When people add their perspective it really,really helps.Hopefully todays effort won’t be quite as off-the-wall as yesterdays,but no promises.

I remember them well,along with bubble gum cigars

This is precisely what I’d have pulled in Mrs. Ford’s Honors English class.

Autumnal Equinox 2014: Facts About the First Day of Fall

The sun’s position in the sky dictates the equinoxes and solstices.

Say goodbye to summer: The Northern Hemisphere’s autumnal equinox—the first day of fall—occurs Monday, September 22.
so I’m a day late….what else is new?
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/09/1409022-first-day-of-fall-science-sun-space-autumnal-equinox/