Category Archives: Funny Stuff

Posted by Pistol Pete

While never forgetting the solemnity of the day,it’s been a crushing week. Since November 2012 Jugears has set himself up as a tyrant who considers himself omnipotent. There seems to be no circumstance under which he can be made to answer for his treachery and the unspeakable pain he’s caused. That in mind,we’ve run aground on an atoll in the Sea of Insanity.
I try to do my best to offer refuge from the real world,if only momentarily.

WONDER WHAT THIS GUY WOULD SAY IF HE WERE HERE TODAY

Posted by Pistol Pete

I was going to post the graphic Mad Magazine had spoofing the regime called Saving Private Bergdahl. I checked yesterday’s post and Mindful and Red had both put it up. Their skills are so far above mine I’m not even in the same league. Fear not, there is a bounty of material.

Let’s review:

Vote fraud: no biggie

Fast and Furious: only a couple border patrol agents murdered

NSA eavesdropping: so what?

Obamacare: settled law…subject to the king’s whims

Benghazi: what difference,at this point,does it make?

VA scandal: now we have a problem. Abusing veterans is pretty easy to understand and real hard to justify.

Now comes the trade of five hardened killers for a miserable muslim wannabe deserter.

Obama knew if he notified congress thirty days in advance the sellout of our guys would never happen because it wouldn’t take long to realize what he was trying to pull. The administration has been lowered to blaming the troops who served with this scum as ‘swift-boaters.’ I don’t think that’ll fly. There just aren’t that many Americans who despise the military as much as their commander does.

Congressman Allen West tweeted yesterday that it’s time to begin impeachment proceedings. I just wished the GOP had the balls to stand up for our fighting forces and do it. But I suppose it’s all just thinking wishfully.

Posted by Pistol Pete

It seems that,as with most of the crimes committed by this punk, the information comes out in drips and drabs as the regime concocts lie after lie which are mostly defended by their army of media whores. It seems the Army knew of Bergdahl’s desertion and didn’t want to risk genuine warriors’ lives trying to rescue a sniveling jihadist-wannabe maggot. The Army claims it will investigate claims he deserted,but if you think they’ll have the guts to try him or find him guilty you’re not paying attention to how the Obama syndicate works.

He’s in Poland today,doubtless to apologize for removing the missile defense shield that protected them from possible Russian aggression. (Just kidding….he could care less if Putin stormed in and grabbed everything.) Does it seem to you that he manages to pull his dirty shenanigans right before he gets out of the country and lets his paid liars cover for him? Maybe its just me.

Posted by Pistol Pete

Well,we made it through another week of political and social chaos. It couldn’t have ended soon enough.

I have a lot of good stuff today. Hoping to get out later in search of the elusive swimming critters (I’m talking about fish).

THIS IS FROM THE EARL OF TAINT

Posted by Pistol Pete

Proof once again that great minds think alike: I had planned to post about the nitwit on CNN who decided that Cruella Michella can sign legislation,but CtH beat me to it. She did a far better job than I could have done anyway. Fear not,I’m not done with the Ghetto Trash with Cash by a damn sight. What really rankles me is Bozo is doing photo ops with science fair kids,troops in Afghanistan (exactly what DID the troop buildup in 2009 accomplish,anyway?) and today he’s polluting West Point to blow more hot air to young men and women he’s so underqualified to be addressing.

It’s taking longer to post recently because SD was over and set her mama up with a Facebook account. She’s come across people she had completely forgotten about. Now she has a use for the computer besides playing solitaire. She’s supposed to stop by when she’s in town again some time and set my account up. I’ve gotten along without it so far so it doesn’t bother me much. I guess I’ll have to be dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century.

DW found this on FB

The Tea Party ousted a sitting Lt. Governor in Texas yesterday,along with a 91 year old who has served 17 terms. He was a democrat until 2002 when he switched parties and had the support of the republican establishment.

HOW DARE THESE LITTLE BRATS COMPLAIN ABOUT THE VEGETABLES AND 500 CALORIE MEALS I’M FORCING THEM TO MAKE? DON’T THEY KNOW WHO I AM? NOW SHUT UP AND DO AS I COMMAND!

MEMORIAL DAY AT THE BEACH…ON LAKE SUPERIOR.

BTW,WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING AT IS ICE CHUNKS IN THE WATER

All y’all smart-ass science kids are wasting yo time. By the time I get done the only job y’all will be able to get is flippin’ burgers at Mickey D’s or at WalMart. Don’t forget to pay your fair share of taxes.

MEET BARRY OBONZO.HE’S THE COMMANDER OF THE YELLOW-BELLIED FLYING SURRENDER MONKEY BRIGADE.

HIS SURRENDERS INCLUDE: IRAQ,LIBYA,SYRIA,UKRAINE,POLAND,CZECH REPUBLIC,PAKISTAN AND COMING SOON,AFGHANISTAN.

Posted by Pistol Pete

Hope everybody had an awesome holiday weekend. Time to put graduations,memorials and cookouts behind and put on the snarky suit. Barky got up early to get in another round of golf at Andrews before jetting off for a surprise visit to some real men in Afghanistan. I heard his speech and it was painfully apparent to me that his words of praise for the troops were as hollow and empty as his soul. I have nothing to base it on but my own gut feeling but I’m thinking there were a lot of soldiers there who didn’t really want to be. I judge that by the cheers I heard that were polite but not overly enthusiastic. He announced he was,in essence,unilaterally surrendering and most of the troops would be out by the end of the year. He also accidentally outed the CIA station chief,who now has to be transferred out. Can they pin this on Scooter Libby? The countries’ president and biggest opium  dealer,Hamid Karzai, wouldn’t even meet the Nubian Nightmare at the airport…he had scheduling conflicts. Only in his own twisted mind do any world leaders have an ounce of respect for this no-talent clown.

Proud grandparents with Miss Jessie Lynn Pistol. She got all her usually neon-colored hair chopped off and she’s wearing enough makeup to be a…well….let’s not go there. These posters greeted Abortion Barbie on her recent fundraising trip to Californicate. This is Spencer Smith. He’s a teacher at Heritage High School in Brentwood,Ca. For his yearbook photo he paid tribute to room-temperature thug,St. Skittles. “I think it’s a good idea because he’s expressing himself. Because that’s the whole point of yearbook pictures, you’re supposed to express yourself,” said Alfreda Charway Heritage High School’s Black Student Union President. High schools have black student unions now?

Posted by Pistol Pete

Following the birth of a child there are at least three significant milestones in their lives that caring parents/grandparents look forward to:

1. graduation

2. marriage

3. the birth of their first child.

Our granddaughter Jessica is 18 years old.

She is not married.

She is not pregnant (so we haven’t had to bail her dad out of jail yet).

She did finish her studies and will be receiving her diploma tomorrow. Things did not come as easily for her as it did for some of us,but she persevered and reached her goal. We are so looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. She’s always had a penchant for dyeing her hair neon colors like electric blue,bubble gum pink and Obama-lips purple. Hopefully her hair is its natural color tomorrow. Time will tell.

Mindful recalled a grannyism yesterday and I got to thinking its been awhile.

Typical conversation at Granny’s would be as follows:

‘Granny,I want a dollar.’

‘People in hell want ice water.’

‘Will you drive me to the store?’

‘Walking ain’t crowded.’

‘I want chicken for supper instead of pork chops.’

‘There are two choices on the menu every night…take it…leave it. I’m not running a restaurant. Supper’s at six. If you’re here you eat. If you’re not you don’t. It’s not complicated.’

‘You must be twins because one person can’t be that stupid.’

‘I’ll be switched and the hay ain’t pitched.’

‘I’ll slap you so hard your kids will be born dizzy.’

‘If wishes were horses beggars would ride.’

‘How come there are so many more horse’s asses than there are horses?’

(that one was grampa’s)

This was just how granny showed she loved us without getting too emotional.

In all my years with her I only heard her drop the F-bomb once…but that’s another story.

SOME OF THESE PUNS ARE FUNNY; SOME ARE JUST REALLY WRONG

Posted by Pistol Pete

A note to my friend Jane Dough:

One of the features of the internet is that anyone can hide behind the anonymity of a monitor and live their Walter Mitty-like fantasies. I could claim to be a 25 year old,6’2″ mountain of molten lust. Unfortunately,regular visitors here know I’m a 63 year old,pot-bellied diabetic with a pacemaker and severe emphysema and sleep apnea. I may be ashamed of some of the things I’ve done in the past but I’m not ashamed of who I am.

Over the years I’ve had hundreds and hundreds of acquaintances but precious few friends. This blog is the extent of my ‘social networking.’

Chrissy and I put a great deal of time and effort into posting here because it’s a way to connect with others. We get paid nothing. It’s a labor of love and our reward is when people come back to visit or add something to the conversation when they’re so moved. It’s our way of feeling like we can make a difference,albeit a small one. CtH is a master of graphics and articles of faith. I can only copy and paste links to inform,entertain,outrage and sometimes I can make a comment that’s snarky or funny.

GP,Ting and I go all the way back to the old Hillbuzz days and later at M4U. They’ve seen me at my best and as close to the bottom as you can get and still be above ground.  Since coming here I’ve gotten close to Chrissy and BoB and I’ll cherish their friendship forever.

I probably would not get in a democrats’ face because here in Illinois Dems run the state from top to bottom so neither party wastes much time or money here. The entire state is red but Cook County controls all the power and takes our taxes to feed the public union beast. It’s been that way pretty much since the days of Big Bill Thompson in the 1920’s.

I came from a rural community,hate big cities,traffic and big crowds. I would never instigate a confrontation but as I get older I find I care less and less what people think. I know who and what I am and I have few regrets.

Individually we can do nothing to change things,but together maybe we can hold on to the freedoms we took for granted for so long that are being stripped away for a little longer. That’s why I do this.

IS HE TOAST YET?

Pics of The Day: Mooch Gets Her Groove On…

U.S. first lady Michelle Obama dances with students from turn around schools during a talent show at the East Room of the White House May 20, 2014 in Washington, DC. President Obamas Committee on the Arts and the Humanities held the first-ever White House Talent Show featuring performances by major artists and showcase the talents of students from schools participating in the Turnaround Arts program which helps to turn around low-performing schools and increase student achievement through arts education.

IF THEY’RE SO WORRIED ABOUT STUDENT ACHIEVEMENT,WHY DO THEY KILL EVERY CHARTER PROGRAM TO LIFT POOR KIDS OUT OF A FAILED SYSTEM?

ARE WE PAYING FOR TALENT SHOWS IN THE PEOPLES’ HOUSE NOW??

Answer:they don’t give a damn. The teachers’ union calls the tune and they dance to it.