House Democrats Draft Legislation That Would Make It a Hate Crime to Eat at Chick-Fil-A

From The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Under intense pressure from their left-leaning constituents to do something about the dangerous, Christian-founded restaurant chain, Democrats in the House of Representatives unveiled legislation Tuesday that would make it a hate crime to eat at Chick-fil-A.

The CFAHATE Act Of 2018 would make it a hate crime punishable by federal law to dine at the restaurant or use its drive-thru, with extra punishments for people who post that they’re eating at the restaurant on their social media accounts. The legislation would also impose heftier penalties for anyone who patronizes the extremist hate group’s chicken sandwich establishments during Pride Month.

“We want people making fast-food dining choices to think carefully about a restaurant’s background,” House Minority Leader and bill co-sponsor Nancy Pelosi said in a video posted to her official YouTube account. “If a restaurant’s leadership is associated with Christian values in any way, frequenting their locations amounts to literal violence against minorities, women, and the LGBTQ+ community.”

According to Pelosi, the legislation was rushed into motion after Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey posted that he was eating at Chick-fil-A on his Twitter account over the weekend, and was later forced to apologize after weathering severe criticism by progressives. Federal agents found they were unable to prosecute him, since eating at a Christian-owned restaurant wasn’t “technically” defined as a hate crime under United States law.

“It’s 2018. It’s time to put intolerance behind us by making any association with Christians in the public sphere simply intolerable,” Pelosi concluded.

More stories of questionable veracity from The Babylon Bee:

Nation’s Liberals Suddenly Opposed to Concept of Diplomacy

General Mills Targets Calvinists with New ‘Sovereignty Charms’ Cereal

Kirk Cameron Hires Stunt Double To Say Cuss Word For Him In Upcoming Film


Filed under Funny Stuff

6 responses to “House Democrats Draft Legislation That Would Make It a Hate Crime to Eat at Chick-Fil-A

  1. Ting

    I may be one of the few people left in the whole country who has never eaten at Chick-Fil-A. I bought a Coke there once in a food court, but I had no idea it was supposed to be such good fast food. I don’t eat out very often anyway, but still…I need to try it!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’ve never eaten there either, only because there isn’t one anywhere near where I live. Someday when I’m in the big city (which happens less and less often these days), I’m going to have to find one and try their chicken sandwich, just to satisfy my curiosity about why it inspires such ardent devotion in so many people!

      Liked by 1 person

    • By coincidence, today, Milady and I ventured for the first time into the notorious chicken place. New one in town. Managed to catch it in a slow period between meal hours – still busy even then.

      We rarely go for fast food, and never chicken, so I don’t have much to compare it to. Okay for fast food. Milady would like the fries more if they were crispier.

      I had a peach shake. It was good. I’ll pay for it later.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pistol Pete

    We have one in our town. The chicken sandwich is outstanding.Two dinners with waffle fries and a drink are about $14.00..very reasonable. The place is always clean and the service is fast and extremely friendly.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. chrissythehyphenated

    I just googled. The nearest one to me is farther than I can travel. Maybe one of these days, Dearest will go by one and can bring me home a liberal-head-splitter sandwich. I’d like that. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. chrissythehyphenated

    Babylon Bee is supposed to be satire, but this is more what I would call the God’s honest truth.

    “One New York man stated that although he praised President Obama on the occasions that the former president used diplomacy rather than resorting to bombing our nation’s enemies, he’s now “firmly opposed” to diplomacy as a concept. “When Obama did it, it was good. When Trump does it, it’s bad. This isn’t difficult,” he posted on his Twitter account.”

    Liked by 1 person