Investigation Launched into Possible Collusion Between Edmund and the White Witch

From The Babylon Bee.

CAIR PARAVEL—An official investigation into possible collusion between Edmund Pevensie, now King Edmund of Narnia, and the White Witch was launched this week.

Investigators are focusing on a shady meeting held in the White Witch’s sleigh, in which Edmund is accused of having sold out his siblings in exchange for a bit of Turkish delight. NBI, the Narnian Bureau of Investigation, is said to have recorded that conversation by putting a wire on the witch’s dwarf, which he agreed to wear in exchange for immunity and safe transport to Calormen.

The investigation is being headed up by Holedigger, a high-ranking badger in Cair Paravel’s justice department. King Edmund the Just has sent messages via carrier birds calling the investigation a “White Witch hunt” nearly every day since the investigation was announced. Many Narnians have tried to unsubscribe from the tweeting birds but have been unsuccessful.

“If true, this collusion is unprecedented,” Holedigger said. “What we have here is a sitting king of Narnia who met with the White Witch before his rise to the throne. A meeting like that would mean the very fabric of our monarchy is compromised.”

The investigation has already resulted in the indictment of Queen Susan for process crimes. She was arrested in an early morning faun raid.

Other stories of questionable veracity from The Babylon Bee: 

Amid Ilhan Omar Controversy, America Quietly Lists Minnesota on Ebay

Stopped Clock Named CNN’s Most Accurate Reporter

Jussie Smollett Offered Job at CNN After Fabricating News Story out 0f Thin Air

MSNBC Hires Chicken Little as Commentator for Remainder of Trump’s Term

Larry the Cucumber Unveils App That Locates Your Missing Hairbrush

1 Comment

Filed under Funny Stuff

One response to “Investigation Launched into Possible Collusion Between Edmund and the White Witch

  1. chrissythehyphenated


    Liked by 1 person