Author Archives: bluebird of bitterness

The 12 thank-you notes of Christmas

Dec. 25
My dearest darling Edward,
What a wonderful surprise! That sweet little partridge, in that lovely little pear-tree; what an enchanting, romantic gift! Thank you, and bless you.
Your deeply loving
Emily

Dec. 26
My beloved Edward,
The two turtle-doves arrived this morning, and are cooing away in the pear-tree as I write. I’m so touched and grateful!
With undying love,
Emily

Dec. 27
My darling Edward,
You do think of the most original presents! Who ever thought of sending anybody three French hens? Do they really come all the way from France? It’s a pity we have no chicken coops, but I expect we’ll find some. Anyway, thank you so much; they’re lovely.
Your devoted
Emily

Dec. 28
Dearest Edward,
What a surprise! Four calling birds arrived this morning. They are very sweet, even if they do call rather loudly — they make telephoning almost impossible — but I expect they’ll calm down when they get used to their new home. Anyway, I’m very grateful, of course.
Love,
Emily

Dec. 29
Dearest Edward,
The mailman has just delivered five most beautiful gold rings, one for each finger! A really lovely present! Lovelier, in a way, than birds, which do take rather a lot of looking after. The four that arrived yesterday are still making a terrible row, and I’m afraid none of us got much sleep last night. Mother says she wants to use the rings to wring their necks. Mother has such a sense of humor. She’s only joking, I think, but I do know what she means. Still, I love the rings.
Bless you,
Emily

Dec. 30
Dear Edward,
Whatever I expected to find when I opened the front door this morning, it certainly wasn’t six socking great geese laying eggs all over the porch. Frankly, I rather hoped that you had stopped sending me birds. We have no room for them, and they’ve already ruined the croquet lawn. I know you meant well, but let’s call a halt, shall we?
Love,
Emily

Dec. 31
Edward,
I thought I said NO MORE BIRDS! This morning I woke up to find seven swans, all trying to get into our goldfish pond. I’d rather not think what’s happened to the goldfish. The whole house seems to be full of birds, to say nothing of what they leave behind them, so please, please, STOP!
Emily

Jan. 1
Frankly, I prefer the birds. What am I to do with eight milkmaids? And their cows? Is this some kind of a joke? If so, I’m afraid I don’t find it very amusing.
Emily

Jan. 2
Look here, Edward, this has gone far enough. You say you’re sending me nine ladies dancing. All I can say is, judging from the way they dance, they’re certainly not ladies. The village just isn’t accustomed to seeing a regiment of shameless viragos cavorting round the green, and it’s Mother and I who get the blame. If you value our friendship, which I do less and less, kindly stop this ridiculous behavior at once!
Emily

Jan. 3
As I write this letter, ten disgusting old men are prancing up and down all over what used to be the garden, before the geese and the swans and the cows got at it. And several of them are taking inexcusable liberties with the milkmaids. Meanwhile, the neighbors are trying to have us evicted. I hope you’re satisfied.
Emily

Jan. 4
This is the last straw! You know I detest bagpipes! The place has now become something between a menagerie and a madhouse, and a man from the council has just declared it unfit for habitation. At least Mother has been spared this last outrage; they took her away yesterday afternoon in an ambulance. I shall never speak to you again.

Jan. 5
Sir:
My client, Miss Emily Wellington, instructs me to inform you that with the arrival on her premises at 6:00 this morning of the entire percussion section of the London Symphony Orchestra, she has no course left open to her but to seek an injunction to prevent you importuning her further. I am making arrangements for the return of much assorted livestock.
Yours faithfully,
Samuel Edelstein, Attorney-at-Law

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Why the office Christmas party was cancelled

December 6
To: All Employees
I’m happy to announce that the company Christmas party will take place on December 23 at Billy Bob’s Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and the local River City Ramblers Bluegrass Band will be playing traditional Christmas carols. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director

December 7
To: All Employees
In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas. So from now on we’re calling it our “Holiday Party.” The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa. There will be no Christmas tree and no Santa Claus, and no Christmas carols will be sung. Happy holidays to you and your family.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director

December 9
To: All Employees
Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I’m happy to accommodate this request; but don’t forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, “AA Only,” you won’t be anonymous anymore.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director

December 13
To: All Employees
I’ve arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gay men may sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men; each will have their own table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men’s table. Happy now?
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director

December 16
To: All Employees
Vegetarians! I’ve had it with you people!! We’re going to hold this party at Billy Bob’s Open Pit whether you like it or not! You can just sit at the table farthest from the “Grill of Death,” as you put it, and you’ll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them right now! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, y’all hear me?
Patty Lewis
The Bitch from Hell

December 19
To: All Employees
I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her nervous breakdown. I’ll continue to forward your cards to her at the psych ward at St. Luke’s Hospital. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Terri Jones
Acting Human Resources Director

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Occupy the Christmas tree!

What happens when you hang kitty toys all over your tree.

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It’s not just people who can get a Messiah complex

My daughter’s cat seems to have one, too. This is what happens when you leave the stable on the floor while you go to search for the figurines.

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A bird in the hand

For What a Hoot, and anyone else who likes owls (and it would be pretty hard not to like this little cutie)…

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Occupy a job!

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Thank you to all who served

Kleenex alert…

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Herman Cain, meet Samuel Yette

by Mark Crutcher, president of Life Dynamics Incorporated

In January of this year, an African-American man living out his life in a Maryland nursing home succumbed to Alzheimer’s disease. Because he was not a sports hero or a member of America’s brain-dead entertainment industry, the nation barely noted either his life or his passing.

His name was Samuel Frederick Yette. Born into the segregated South in 1929, Mr. Yette earned a bachelor’s degree from Tennessee State University and a master’s from Indiana University. Then, following his U.S. Air Force service in the Korean War, he became an award-winning journalist who worked for several newspapers and magazines. In 1964, he was appointed Executive Secretary of the Peace Corps after which he became Special Assistant for Civil Rights to the Director of the U.S. Office of Economic Opportunity. He later became a civil rights commentator for both BET and PBS and he finished his working life as a lecturer and a professor at Howard University.

Among Yette’s many other achievements, in 1968, he had become the first African-American reporter hired by Newsweek magazine where he soon rose to the position of Washington D.C. Bureau Correspondent. But three years later, he wrote a book that exposed high-level plans within the United States to use birth control and abortion as instruments of Black genocide. Yette’s book was called The Choice, and immediately after it was published, he was summoned to his supervisor’s office and fired. During that meeting, he was told that his termination was caused by pressure from the Nixon White House to get him out of Washington.

Next, despite the fact that his book was selling well, had won at least two national awards and was being used as a textbook in colleges across the country, Yette’s publisher mysteriously dropped him and took the book off the market.

It is important to understand that, by this point in history, population control – especially Black population control – had become a virtual religion for America’s power structure. And that remains true to this day. Whether it’s liberal social engineers, or wealthy elitists, or the media establishment, or the academic community, these people have created a “Population-Control / Family-Planning Cartel” that does not tolerate dissent. If you cross them, or if you appear to be a threat to their agenda, they will chop you off at the knees. It is also true that they have been especially ruthless about this when it comes to African-Americans. Early on, the leaders of the eugenics movement had figured out that it was best for them to keep their racial intentions hidden. They also understood that it would be hard to pull this off if a lot of “uppity” Black opinion molders started challenging their actions and questioning their motives.

That knowledge drove the assault on Samuel Yette. The Cartel – of which Richard Nixon was a card-carrying member – was sending a message to civil-rights activists, politicians, journalists, writers, college professors or anyone else who might have influence within the Black community. They were being warned that, when it came to population control, they only had two options: they could either get on the plantation or they could keep their mouths shut. Yette described the situation perfectly in January of 1972 when he told a reporter for Jet Magazine, “I do not mean to be pejorative or vindictive, when I say this, but had I been a nigger instead of Black, a spy instead of a reporter, a tool instead of a man, I could have stayed at Newsweek indefinitely.”

Samuel Yette may have told the Cartel where to shove their options but, regrettably, time would show that most influential Blacks did not have his kind of courage. Thus, they chose between the two options offered to them. In just one example of this, the politically ambitious Jesse Jackson instantly went from describing abortion as “genocide” and calling for a constitutional amendment to ban it, to being one of its most shameless apologists. In Jackson’s world, the word “genocide” had morphed into the word “choice” virtually overnight. He, and others like him, were creating a model for how to suck up to America’s power-elite. It is a model that is still in use as you read this.

Now comes Republican presidential candidate, Herman Cain.

In the last few weeks, Cain began pointing out that the Cartel is still alive and well in the form of organizations like Planned Parenthood. He also reminded the public that this particular organization was founded as an instrument of eugenics while being politically and financially backed by ultra-wealthy racists and eugenicists. He then correctly pointed out that Planned Parenthood, as well as other eugenics organizations, have disproportionately placed their facilities in minority communities with results that have been both disastrous and predictable. Finally, he called for Planned Parenthood to be stripped of its one-million-dollars-a-day in taxpayer funding. (You heard correctly … $1,000,000.00 a day.)

The fascinating thing is that, within hours, anonymous people started dropping out of the trees to claim that Herman Cain sexually harassed them. As we have seen in the past, this is a very convenient charge because it is one that is virtually impossible to refute. In the minds of many, the mere accusation itself is evidence of guilt, and once the allegation is made, the target has to prove a negative which, for all practical purposes, cannot be done.

This is especially problematic for Republicans since the standard for using it against them is different than it is for Democrats. For whatever reason, it appears that our society has reached a point where it simply accepts that Democrat politicians will have significantly lower moral standards than Republican politicians. The perfect example of this is, of course, Bill Clinton. I mean, here is a man that even the most ardent Democrats would not leave alone in a room with their 15-year-old daughter, but they would enthusiastically elect him President of the United States.

Back to the Cain situation, let me make it clear that I have no personal knowledge of whether the allegations against him are legitimate or not. On one hand, there are men who sexually harass women and, on the other hand, there are women who fabricate such charges. In the end, it seems that only the accusers and the accused ever really know the truth.

So while I have no way of drawing conclusions regarding the merit of these accusations, their timing is undeniably suspicious. From the beginning, it seemed too coincidental to actually be coincidental that Cain’s attack on the Population-Control / Family-Planning Cartel was immediately followed by sexual harassment charges against him.

I may be baying at the moon here, but the whole episode gives off a very Nixonian odor. Perhaps Herman Cain is being warned to either take one of the Cartel’s options or suffer the fate of Samuel Yette. Whether that is the case or not, the reality is that if Herman Cain were “pro-choice” on abortion and the leading candidate in the Republican race for the White House, there would be no sexual harassment accusations hanging over his head and it wouldn’t matter how true or untrue they may be.

If you doubt that, again I refer to Bill Clinton. When far more serious and far more numerous allegations were made against him, including some that would have been felonies if prosecuted, the leaders of America’s eugenics and population-control groups tied themselves in knots trying to defend him. Many even publicly admitted that the reason they were willing to look the other way was because of Clinton’s unwavering support for abortion.

In an article written about this situation by feminist gadfly, Gloria Steinem, it was even suggested that Slick Willy was to be admired because it appeared that, when he went after a woman, he backed down if she rejected him. His willingness to accept “no” for an answer was, according to her, proof that he was the kind of man feminists want all men to become. In short, every man gets one free grope.

Of course, to no one’s surprise, this newly embraced “boys-will-be-boys” attitude even extended to the media. Former Time magazine reporter, Nina Burleigh, wrote an article heaping praise on Clinton in which she volunteered that, “I’d be happy to give him a b*** j** [street term for oral sex] just to thank him for keeping abortion legal.” Others made similarly charming statements.

The message in all this was unmistakable and unambiguous. The population control lobby has come to just accept that, by definition, pro-choice men are going to be of lower moral character than other men and should not be expected to meet the same standards of behavior. And sure ’nuff, they never are.

I want to offer one last observation for Mr. Cain and all those others who might one day find themselves being ground under the Cartel’s hobnailed boot. Samuel Yette left this world as a decent and courageous man and that is a feeling sell-outs like Jesse Jackson will never experience. The interesting thing is that Shakespeare defined the lives of these two men centuries before either of them was born: “Cowards die a thousand deaths. The valiant taste of death but once.”

Copyright 2011 by Mark Crutcher. Used with permission.

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Filed under Abortion, Bill Clinton, Democrats, Eugenics, Feminism, Herman Cain, Human Rights, Planned Parenthood, Republicans

Politics, protests, and playtime

Inspired by Occupy Wall Street and its many copycats, my daughter decided to outfit some of her toys with their very own custom-made protest signs. (Click to enlarge for enhanced legibility.)

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Firestorm over “Firefly” poster; FIRE intervenes

I swear, there are times I think some Wisconsin residents are determined to make our state the laughingstock of the country.

Last month, a theater professor at the University of Wisconsin-Stout put a poster on the door to his office. It was a picture of a character from the TV series “Firefly” with a quote from the show. And it got the professor threatened with criminal charges. Here it is:

(You can watch a video clip here that puts the above quote into context.)

I’ve never watched “Firefly” myself, although several of my children are fans. Christian Schneider at National Review Online describes it as a “libertarian cult classic that is part throwback Western, part space fiction, and features characters (ironically) who battle an authoritarian government.”

Professor James Miller, a fan of the series, put the poster on his office door on September 12. On September 16, UW-Stout Police Chief Lisa Walter removed the poster, and informed Dr. Miller that “it is unacceptable to have postings such as this that refer to killing.”

University officials agreed with Walter, saying that they simply couldn’t allow posters that they believe contain threats of violence. “We have a responsibility as a university to provide an atmosphere for our students, faculty and staff that is safe,” UW-Stout spokesman Doug Mell said.

After his Firefly poster was confiscated, Miller put up a different poster:

The campus cops removed that one as well, and Miller received an email from Police Chief Walter that said, among other things, “The posting depicts violence and mentions violence and death. The campuses [sic] threat assessment team met yesterday and conferred with UW System Office of General Counsel and made the decision that this posting should be removed. It is believed that this posting also has a reasonable expectation that it will cause a material and/or substantial disruption of school activities and/or be constituted [sic] as a threat.”

Then the aptly-named Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE) jumped into the fray. On September 21, FIRE wrote a letter to UW-Stout Chancellor Charles Sorenson protesting the assault on Professor Miller’s free speech rights. Sorenson did not respond to the letter. On September 27, Sorensen sent an email to all faculty and staff, claiming that the University’s act of censorship was not an act of censorship, but “an act of sensitivity to and care for our shared community, and was intended to maintain a campus climate in which everyone can feel welcome, safe and secure.”

Nathan Fillion (the actor whose picture appears on the offending poster), Adam Baldwin (another actor from the series), and writer Neil Gaiman also got into the act, posting comments on Twitter that prompted thousands of people from across the country to contact UW administrators in support of Professor Miller.

As Baldwin pointed out in a column he wrote for Big Hollywood, none of the folks currently having fits over Professor Miller’s supposedly “violent” and “threatening” posters expressed even the mildest objection to the “Kill the Bill” signs that appeared all over campus earlier this year as part of a protest against Governor Scott Walker’s budget bill. The signs were a takeoff on the publicity poster for the movie “Kill Bill” (another movie I didn’t see, due to my wimpish tendency to avoid movies with large amounts of violence, blood and gore). Baldwin wrote:

Oddly enough, police chief Walter was not at all concerned with the reference to killing or to the weapon of violence depicted in those posters. In fact, she was quoted in this article at the time as being rather complimentary of the activities.

“The neat part of working in a university is that folks get to have their voices heard, and we try to make sure that it’s done in a manner that’s orderly and doesn’t disrupt the rest of the operations too much,” she said.

The double standard is alive and well in academia.

But finally the pressure got to be too much even for the arrogant know-it-alls who run UW-Stout, and the administration caved. Chancellor Sorenson defended the original decision to remove the posters, stating that officials did so “out of legitimate concern for the violent messages contained in each poster and the belief that the posters ran counter to our primary mission to provide a campus that is welcoming, safe and secure.”

“In retrospect, however,” the statement continued, “it is clear that the removal of the posters – although done with the best intent – did have the effect of casting doubt on UW-Stout’s dedication to the principles embodied in the First Amendment, especially the ability to express oneself freely.” No kidding.

“FIRE is pleased that UW-Stout has decided to abandon its previous position and reopen the door to free speech and common sense on its campus,” FIRE President Greg Lukianoff said. “This victory would not have been possible without the outpouring of support from people across the country on news sites, blogs, and social media. FIRE would especially like to thank Nathan Fillion, Adam Baldwin, Neil Gaiman, and my fellow Firefly fans.”

You can learn more about FIRE here.

(crossposted on bluebird of bitterness)

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