Category Archives: Funny Stuff

Intelligence, reason, and common sense seem to be in short supply
Stupidity continues to yield a bumper crop

If you didn’t at least smile there’s nothing more I can do for you

So a lot of dem bigshots are figuring Plughead Biden to run for preezy. First, I think this is largely generated by media types who just want to stir the pot of political intrigue. You would be hard pressed to convince me that Killary would ever consider dropping out of the race because she has no expectation of being held accountable for her criminality. Just won’t believe it until I actually see it.

Secondly, the media frenzy over The Donald is completely understandable. He’s a walking highlight machine for the talking heads. Whether he can put together the grassroots effort to go out and knock on doors and organize the troops in every state remains to be seen. My feeling is that, although he’s like another Perot, playing on peoples’ frustrations, he offers no solutions that would actually work. If he were elected and tried to remove illegals and their children it would be a PR disaster. Every network would have cameras there to film the distraught parents and the screaming kids being forced into the ICE van. So far, immigration is the only issue he’s had a definitive opinion about. He has long advocated a 20% tariff on foreign goods, which would crush the economy. Bush tried it with foreign steel, remember? It seems to me he’s a little like poor Mikey Bloomberg who ran as a republican for mayor of NYC because there was less competition for the nomination. He never was and never would be any kind of republican. In much the same way Trump seems to be tacking right for the attention that he feeds on.

Still, a debate between The Donald and Plugs would be must-see TV. The brain would drown in hair jokes. I just remain unconvinced that either of them will make the final cut once the circus gets boring.

My wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, “Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?” He just ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an “a**hole.” He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires. So my wife called him a “s*ithead.” He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. He finally finished, sneered at us and walked away. Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home. We always look for cars with Obama stickers. We try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired. It’s so important at our age!!

THIS IS DEDICATED TO THE LURKERS, THE SHIRKERS, THE MALCONTENTS, THE MISCREANTS, THE DISORIENTED, THE SCHIZOPHRENIC, THE PERPETUALLY JUVENILE, CRIMINALLY INSANE, POLITICAL HACKS, FLACKS AND THOSE WITH NO MORAL STANDARDS.
Without you, I wouldn’t be making the vast thousands of nothings I get paid for doing this.
These are some of what I think are the funniest I have right now.

OUR GIRLS,”DIAMOND” AND “SILK”

They sent me a new set-top converter box when I finally replaced my old SDTV with a hi-def one back sometime last year. I’d forgotten about returning it until I got a notice saying we had one or more old set-top boxes that needed to be replaced by 10/6. DW’s set has a box thats almost seven years old. Since the office is a long way across town I figured I’d kill two birds and get her replacement while I returned my old one. The best laid plans, etc., etc.

When I got there I had to take a number. There were 19 people ahead of me and two “customer service people” I think they were called. You may not believe this, but patience is an attribute I never acquired. She said I’d have to disconnect the old box and bring it in. The new box on my other TV didn’t get hooked up until SS did it. I told her that would happen when a Poland China hog flew out of my nether regions.

Then I axed her why my bill went up $20 this month; was it just because they can or did they need more dough to send to the Democrat Party? (It’s Comcast,after all.) She just gave me a polite, ‘Please piss off, I have other people to abuse.’

My lawyer says he can probably plead my case down to a misdemeanor verbal battery charge. I’m out on bail at the moment.

<> on June 13, 2015 in New York City.

CtH adds, LOVE this, Pete!!  “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”  Phil 4:8

I’M ADDICTED TO THESE DAMN THINGS. THE ONLY PLACE I FOUND THEM OTHER THAN AT THE HOLIDAYS IS AT ALDI’S.

CtH adds, “Buttons!”

There was so much stuff today I had to break it down into two parts. Don’t know how it happened. Talent,I guess

ONLY 58% oppose Barry’s Iran deal; the rest just don’t care

What’s going on today?
Black lives Matter being run by a white dude who conned Orca out of a black scholarship, punk shoots at cops in N. St. Louis, gets neutralized. Crowd gathers instantly, throws bottles and rocks at the po-po, burns a few cars and does some undocumented shopping…. just for the hell of it. Press still shielding Cankles, crowds to hear The Donald swell and the cheating website Ashley Madison, with over 38 MILLION members gets hacked and the area with the most participants is DC (go figure).
My beloved child bride said she never worried about me cheating… I’d be charged with assault with a dead weapon.