Category Archives: Funny Stuff

Posted by PP

I can do this only because I don’t have to read or post anything about that smirking sonofabitch.Thats why I don’t post anymore.

Today could be going better.

I put the pot on and prepared my favorite brew in my Bodum coffee press. Then I did some dishes. When it seemed like the water was taking way too long to boil, I realized I hadn’t turned on the (electric) burner. So I did that and got back to the dishes.

When I noticed a burning smell, I thought, “There must be a a piece of spaghetti or some crumbs under the burner.” Picking up the pot to blow under the burner, I realized it was empty … and smoking hot. So I cooled it off, put a cup of water in, put it back on the hot burner and got back to the dishes.

Then I realized I was getting a headache from the burned pot smell.  Or maybe caffeine withdrawal.  Probably both.  So I  turned on the exhaust fan and did some more dishes. Yes, there were a lot of dishes.

And since running water sounds exactly like the sound water makes right before it boils, which is when I like it best, I didn’t catch it before it was at a full rolling boil.  I don’t want to crack my very expensive glass Bodum coffee press (again … $44), so I put the water pot on a cool burner and tossed in an ice cube.

Again with the dishes, where I realized I had forgotten to set the 8 minute timer I use for steeping coffee.  Alert readers will notice I never put the water in the Bodum.  I did not notice.  I was not alert then.  I am not alert now.  How can I be alert when I haven’t had my flipping coffee!!??

So yeah … dishes, blah blah, the timer goes off and I find water has not yet met coffee grounds.  Only after I dump the water into the Bodum do I have the sparklingly clever idea to check if it is still hot. I wasn’t. Crap. I don’t like lukewarm coffee, but dammit, I needed my caffeine!  Back to the bloody dishes until I again realized I have forgotten to set the timer.

By this time, the water has brewed itself into stone cold coffee, which I do not like.  Although I am very ready to throw something, I remember that $44 and say a prayer.  What was that about trusting God?  Oh right.  On the off chance that God has an opinion about whether I have a cup of coffee right now, I dump it down the drain and abandon the kitchen, which still stinks of burnt pan.

This would not be a good time to post snarky comments about stupid people who allow themselves to become addicted to drugs, however legal. (See graphic.)

Posted by PP

Cleaning out what I have cached so there’s no evidence I was ever here.

Writers Guild Makes Citizens Arrest

(MFNS) NYC – Former First Lady, Secretary of State, and would be famous literary personality, Hillary Clinton, was surrounded and captured at a book-signing today by a vigilante group representing the the Writer Guild of America invoking a Citizens Arrest . Witnesses said Mrs.Clinton rose slowly from her seat and said “I’ve been expecting you.” As Mrs. Clinton was led away she was heard to mumble “You’ll all pay for this after my coronation!”

Speaking for the vigilante group to reporters was the Writer Guild President, Dame Edith Bronson, author of such classic works as “The Soul of a Squid” and “The Collected Poems of Hugo Chavez”:

“I, as well as my colleague, Professor of Biography Dr. Paul Menlo LeSquirt, today took the bold step to remove from the public eye an embarrassment and menace to the literary world. Not since the publication of Barack Obama’s autobiography has so much fiction been passed on to the public as a non-fiction volume, and with all the pre-publication pomp and promotion usually reserved for great works of literature such as ‘Harry Potter’ and ’50 Shades of Gray’. We simple could not in good conscience any longer allow Mrs. Clinton to soil the reputation of the literary world and the time honored craft of book authorship.”
Mrs. Clinton’s Book has had dismal sales and failed to reach #1 before or after its debut, and has sunk to #60 on Amazon.com. behind such powerhouse tomes as “Little Blue Truck” by Alice Schertle.

STARTING WAGES AT WAL MART IN NORTH DAKOTA

Posted by PP

Illegals swarming across the border at Obama’s invitation.
Polls show people are getting really tired of Barry’s act….as if it makes any difference.
Media dutifully spinning Hobby Lobby decision as a company denying people their “right” to contraception in the continuing phony “war on women.” Look forward to every last democrat whining about this…it beats trying to defend Obamacare.
Medical people warned not to say anything about the contagious diseases the illegal hordes are bringing with them on pain of arrest.
People in Murrieta,Ca. learn three busloads of overflow illegals are coming from a Texas military base-cum-daycare center.
Block the buses and force them to retreat to a Border Patrol facility.
Had enough?
Just Another Screwed Up Day In Paradise

Posted by PP

Update:Rush was talking yesterday about the post I linked to about the thousands in Detroilet who had their water cut off for non-payment. His researchers found that water and sewer are the only utilities in the city that are NOT subsidized,so they have to pay them from their welfare cash. Apparently they have more important things to buy with their free dough than water.

When you make a deal with black vote buyers masquerading as preachers in Mississippi,you’d best not try to stiff them. The going rate was allegedly $15/head for every rent-a-vote. Thud Cockroach reneged on the deal and now the homies wanna get paid.

Cochran Campaign Manager, Staffer Busted in Illegal Vote Buying Operation

Democrat black reverend, who brought “hundreds” to the polls for promise of payment, exposes alleged massive voter fraud, vote buying operation by Cochran campaign.

A black reverend stiffed by the Cochran campaign has exposed an alleged criminal conspiracy by Cochran staffers to commit massive voter fraud ahead of Tuesday’s controversial U.S. Senate Republican runoff election in Mississippi.

Reverend Stevie Fielder, associate pastor at historic First Union Missionary Baptist Church and former official at Meridian’s redevelopment agency, says he delivered “hundreds or even thousands,” of blacks to the polls after being offered money and being assured by a Cochran campaign operative that Chris McDaniel was a racist. “They [the Cochran campaign] told me to offer blacks fifteen dollars each and to vote for Thad.”

http://www.gotnews.com/

CHECK THIS OUT:

Obama condemns ‘senseless act of terror against innocent youth’
No,he wasn’t talking about abortion,silly. He was referring to the murder of 3 Israeli teens,including one who held dual Israeli-American citizenship. After condemning the slaughter he urged the Israelis to ‘show restraint’…apparently to protect his muslim brothers. The IDF has already hit 34 targets in the West Bank and promises further retribution. They’ve been dealing with these goat-roping maniacs for a long time. Violence is all they understand.

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4536512,00.html

I think the 94th Psalm is appropriate in this situation:

A Prayer for Vengeance
1 O LORD God, to whom vengeance belongeth;

O God, to whom vengeance belongeth, show thyself.

2 Lift up thyself, thou judge of the earth:

render a reward to the proud.

3 LORD, how long shall the wicked,

how long shall the wicked triumph?

4 How long shall they utter and speak hard things?

and all the workers of iniquity boast themselves?

5 They break in pieces thy people, O LORD,

and afflict thine heritage.

6 They slay the widow and the stranger,

and murder the fatherless.

7 Yet they say, The LORD shall not see,

neither shall the God of Jacob regard it.

http://www.bartleby.com/108/19/94.html

Posted by PP

On this last day of sessions for the year at the Supreme Court,two significant rulungs were handed down.
This first. Hobby Lobby vs. US,the court rules 5-4 that private companies CANNOT be forced to provide contraceptive benefits to their employees,citing First Amendment rights. At last word,Sandra Fluke was considering taking a vow of celibacy and go into grief counseling.

In the other,Harris v. Quinn,involving a case of a woman in Illinois that was caring for her own disabled son when the bought-and-paid-for union stooge Pat Quinn signed a bill saying all home healthcare workers must join the professional thug organization known as the SEIU.Again.the court ruled 5-4 in favor of the individual against the union crime bosses.

THIS POOR,DESTITUTE CREATURE IS ONE OF TENS OF THOUSANDS OF VICTIMS OF THE DETROIT WATER DEPARTMENT WHO DONE CUTS OFF THEY WATER JUST BECAUSE OF THE SIMPLE FACT THEY AIN’T PAID THEY WATER BILL. OH,THE INHUMANITY!!
(he said, dripping with sarcasm)

http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-detroit-water-20140629-story.html#page=1

THE CHICAGO CUBS DID NOT PLAY A SUNDAY GAME FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 84 YEARS. THEY PLAYED TWO ON SATURDAY BECAUSE OF THE GAY PRIDE PARADE SUNDAY. THATS WHERE A BUNCH OF DEGENERATES CELEBRATE SODOMY AND FLAUNT HOW THEY ENJOY HAVING THINGS SHOVED UP THEIR BACKSIDES.

CHRISSY:CAN YOU EMBIGGEN THIS GRAPHIC? I FIRST HEARD IT ON MARK LEVIN’S SHOW AND IT GETS RIGHT TO THE POINT. IT’S COMPRESSED AND HARD TO READ:

Normally I post some funny graphics,but today I thought I’d post some things I’ve gleaned from Facebook and around the web.

Why? I just feel like it. I hope you enjoy it.

“There are two important days in your life.
The day you are born
and the day you figure out why.”
–Mark Twain

This is a shot of the Milky Way from Boulder Junction,Wis. I’ve fished this area north of the Chippewa Flowage. You would be hard-pressed to find a more beautiful landscape. If you get up there,ask a local where the nearest Paul Bunyan Restaurant is. You won’t regret it.

Posted by PP

I hadn’t planned to post today,but its the only day this picture makes sense:

SEVEN YEARS AGO TODAY MISS OLIVIA GRACE MADE HER GRAND ENTRANCE INTO THE WORLD
My heart hasn’t been the same since.

Hillary: so dishonest even liberal attorneys find her offensive

Yes,I deserve to be president because I have a pu**y

I HAVE TIME TO POST A FEW LINKS….PALADIN IS ON FROM 2-3 ON THE ENCORE WESTERN CHANNEL.
THIS WAS THE FIRST EPISODE IN 1958:

IMAGINE THE BEGINNING OF THIS SHOW BEING AIRED TODAY