Senate Democrats Refuse to Grant Legal Status to Children Dreaming of Being Born

From The Babylon Bee.

WASHINGTON, DC—Voting down a measure that would have banned most abortions after 20 weeks gestation, Senate Democrats on Monday refused to grant legal status to millions of unborn children dreaming of one day being born.


House Republicans passed a bill last week that would guarantee citizens’ rights for U.S. children over 20 weeks gestation, the age at which all unborn babies have been scientifically proven to hear voices and feel pain. Senate Democrats killed the Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act on Monday, keeping the United States one of only seven nations on earth that allows unrestricted abortion at any time during pregnancy.

“Frankly, I’m tired of the Republicans’ sob stories about these so-called ‘dreamers’ who are deliberately hiding inside a womb, hoping for government protection without going through the proper channels,” a DNC spokesperson told reporters. “Maybe it’s not their fault their parents brought them into this world, but that does not give them the same Constitutional right to life that hardworking, natural-born Americans have earned.”

Sources confirm Democrats may consider an abortion ban after 24 weeks, since the unborn child would be three-fifths of the way through a typical 40-week pregnancy by that point. “I really admire the idea of a 3/5 compromise,” said one Democrat senator. “America has used the 3/5 compromise before, when we were forced to admit that people who are property are still partially human. It worked really well.”

More stories of questionable veracity from The Babylon Bee:

Trump Supporter Executed Live on Stage at Grammy Awards

After Killing 20-Week Abortion Ban, Democrats Resume Lecturing People About Compassion

Visa Offers New Dave Ramsey Credit Card with Credit Limit of Zero


Filed under Funny Stuff

7 responses to “Senate Democrats Refuse to Grant Legal Status to Children Dreaming of Being Born

  1. chrissythehyphenated

    Oh, I am so excited!! Jim Caviezel is reprising his role as Jesus Christ in Mel Gibson’s film about the resurrection! He says, “Tthe film he’s going to do is going to be the biggest film in history. It’s that good.”

    That’s really saying something, considering that The Passion is the highest-grossing R-rated film ever in North America ($370.8 million).

    Caviezel also played Luke in the soon-to-be-released film “Paul, Apostle of Christ” in theaters March 28.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Usually, the Bee’s articles make me laugh. I just can’t at this. (Not a swipe at you, BoB, or the Bee, just, you know, the subject is so unfunny.)

    I ran across this article the other day at Christianity Today which I’ve been meaning to pass along to PoliNationals so since I’m clearing tabs today…:

    Are Pro-Life and Pro-Choice Women Any Closer to Finding Common Ground?

    Just seemed so strange to me. There really isn’t any common ground. There are other issues pro-life and women’s marchers might have in common, like, as it says, “shared concern over abuse at the hands of men in power,” but on the main issue, what kind of commonality could there be between pro-life and anti-life – uh, I mean pro-“choice”??

    Liked by 1 person

    • There is no common ground. When pro-abortionists talk about finding common ground with anti-abortionists, what they mean is that we should agree with them about giving free contraception to every female of childbearing age because then we could reduce the “need” for abortions and so on and so forth. I can’t see myself ever finding common ground with people who consider it acceptable to slice and dice innocent children and flush them down the drain.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Closing old tabs, a couple of other items I thought might be of interest here.

    Why I’m So Damn Pro Life (has a few cusswords like that)

    On my birthday, a bunch of my friends came out, and i got exceedingly drunk. I ran into an old fling, nice enough girl. We had a one night stand.

    How Cecile Richards Strengthened the Pro-Life Movement
    “The outgoing Planned Parenthood president’s legacy can be felt on the other side of the abortion debate.”

    I usually don’t comment on abortion, nor express my thoughts, because the whole issue is so very hard for me. I wasn’t thinking about it at all in High School – it was still illegal in my state after all – until the day a several-years-younger girl friend broke down and told me about her kitchen-table-top abortion and her horror that she was a murderer. Bullied into it at 12 or 13. Almost fifty years later I can hear her sobbing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • chrissythehyphenated

      I heard a priest say once how he would go to visit nursing homes and the same women would need to weep and confess about their long-ago abortions again and again and again. This was 30 years ago and the women were in their 90s.

      Liked by 2 people

    • chrissythehyphenated

      IKWYM about how hard it is to talk about. I commit far more typos in my abortion blogs than anywhere else, I think because the subject upsets me so much. But I know we have a lot of pro-life readers who are interested in abortion news. I try to focus mostly on the gains … clinics closed, for example … and heart-warming stories, mostly because that’s what I need to hear.

      Liked by 2 people

    • chrissythehyphenated

      “Why I’m so prolife” I need a tissue! “So why am i pro life? Because i understand that a small, seemingly insignificant and helpless human can have a profound impact on the world. Simply by existing a unborn child has the power to save someone, to radically change a life.”

      Liked by 2 people