We will soon be forced to speak Spanish in the name of diversity.
Here is a primer to help you get started down the path of embracing their culture.
This concludes today’s journey into stupidity.
Category Archives: Funny Stuff
Ode to Our Honored Guests
Filed under Funny Stuff
It’s Taco Tuesday
It’s also primary day in New York,but who cares? My queue list is backed up worse than the toilet at Jose’s Taco Shop.
Just a little silliness before the deep depression sets in.
NOW,THAT’S FUNNY RIGHT THERE!
Filed under Funny Stuff
Happy Monday
Today is the actual cutoff day for filing your income taxes. As in every other year, the local news stations will be camped out at the post office to interview the folks who always wait until the last day to file. There is a postal clerk stationed outside with a dealy to make sure all the envelopes are postmarked before midnight.
On the political front, Trump is still mocking Cruz, Cruz is trying to get somebody to pay attention to him, Bernie is still deluding himself into thinking he has a snowball’s chance in hell of winning, and the arrogant, greedy, corrupt sociopath known as the Butcher is shamelessly pandering to black folk.
On the bright side,the NFL draft is 10 days away.
COLLEGE STUDENTS NEED TO BE REMINDED
DW ALWAYS KEEPS EXTRA IN THE CABINET UNDER THE SINK…WISE WOMAN
Filed under Funny Stuff
It’s All Good
Pinky promise. Consider this post as a kind of palate cleanser. Nothing heavy, nothing racial… had enough of that already. Nothing political, except a link to Ted Cruz’ vote to ban dildoes.
To all the lurkers, shirkers and midnight twerkers (apologies to the Steve Miller Band)…. most of you stop by here for Chrissy’s stuff and almost none of you comment. No problem, you’re all welcome. But you would do yourself some good if you check out some of the links I’ve provided today like:
Americans step up to thank a lonely veteran who passed away
Chicago cops lifting up a 6 year old cancer patient
A young military wife getting a surprise at Chick- Fil- A
plus whatever goofiness I can come up with.
THIS GAG BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOURS TRULY
Filed under Funny Stuff
Sesame Street Introduces New Muslim Muppet ‘Zari’
From The Barbed Wire.
The popular children’s show Sesame Street has a new Muppet character, hijab-wearing “Zari,” who will be introduced on the Afghani version of the show. In PBS’s effort to remain as politically correct as possible, the character is an Islamic girl who will teach children about female empowerment and education, among other things.
Advertising posters for the character show her playing with Elmo and Grover. You can bet though that since Zari will live on the Sesame Street in Afghanistan, life will be a little different than the Sesame Street Americans are familiar with.
First, you will notice that Zari only has four fingers on each hand. Clearly, she has had a finger on each hand cut off for stealing, or some other violation of Sharia law. The mean streets of Afghanistan are no place for a Muppet.
Viewers of the Middle Eastern version of the show will get to meet Zari’s 49 year-old husband, even though Zari herself is only 10 years old. She, with the help of other characters on the show, will teach young girls the joys of being a child bride and sex slave.
Some episode plot lines that have already been announced include:
- Zari finds out Muppet genital mutilation isn’t as fun as it sounds.
- She accidentally allows some of her hair to come out from under her hijab, resulting in her first stoning.
- Miss Piggy makes a surprise visit, but Zari feels that Piggy makes the local deli unclean so she straps on her suicide vest to solve the problem. The deli needed remodeling anyway.
- Zari gets educated on homosexuality in a special episode that ends with Bert and Ernie getting tossed off the rooftop of a tall building.
- Zari’s refugee cousins arrive from Syria and proceed to gang-rape Big Bird.
In no time, Zari will probably be migrating to the American Sesame Street, where she will teach American children how wonderful her culture is.
The episodes will be brought to you by the letters I, E, D and by the number 666.
More great stories from The Barbed Wire:
Hillary Thinks It’s Cute the Way Bernie Keeps Winning States
Trump Tells Boston Globe to Leave Satire to the Pros
Music Concerts Cancelled Until Communities Meet an Artist’s Political Demands
Filed under Funny Stuff
Tuesday Afternoon Stuff
A little late for speechifying. There’s always tomorrow…. hopefully.
TO ALL LURKERS: COME FOR THE FUNNIES, STAY FOR THE OUTRAGEOUS
SOMEBODY SHOOT PUNXATAWNEY PHIL!
HEY, CHRISSY…..EVER TRY THIS?
CtH: ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Filed under Funny Stuff
Friday’s Bits And Pieces
Hey,Algore;it’s been snowing off and on for the last two days.Take your climate change,fold it five ways,wrap it around a Preparation H bullet and put it to good use.OK,now for the serious part of this rant.
Yesterday may well have been the best breakfast mankind has ever borne witness to.Uncle Roger’s lifelong soulmate,my beloved Aunt Evelyn fixed a feast for the family.Two of their children were there,I met one of my 2nd cousins,along with uncle Bob,Aunt Jan and his two children,cousin Trish and Pam and her daughter,Carrie,who is fascinated by the stories we tell of the time we were kids together.We had eggs,bacon,sausage,fried taters,pancakes,fruit,coffee and juice.We spent hours afterward enjoying homemade cinnamon rolls and gabbing,just like long ago Sunday dinners at Granny’s.
It was a reminder that this journey through life is very short and tomorrow is never promised.There is so much joy to be had if you just open your eyes and see it.There is nothing so precious as that which you carry in your heart for a lifetime.I am also grateful that there is a place like this where I can share with those I will never meet,yet are still a big part of my happiness.It is a privilege to bring a part of me here to leave with you.For that,I thank Him who made us all.
BING’S IS AN INSTITUTION HERE IN TOWN.IT IS THE LAST SURVIVING GENUINE DRIVE-IN RESTAURANT WITH CARHOPS AND WINDOW TRAYS.IF THE WEATHER EVER WARMS UP (and it quits freaking snowing!) I PLAN TO TAKE THE GRANDKIDS THERE SO THEY CAN SEE WHAT A FUN TIME YOU CAN HAVE EATING IN THE CAR.
THE LATE JAMES BROWN ONCE RECORDED A SONG CALLED: TALKIN’ LOUD AND SAYIN’ NOTHIN’
SORRY.I TRIED TO KEEP THIS MEANINGFUL AND CLASSY,BUT I JUST COULDN’T RESIST
HOW THE HELL DID SHE GET INTO THESE? NEVER MIND….FORGET I ASKED
Filed under Family & Friends, Funny Stuff
Literal vs. Figurative
This is a little side trip into some examples of people who take literal way too seriously. To those of us who are sticklers for grammar and punctuation (Bluebird and myself, in particular), this is a little relief from the angst of bearing witness to lesser individuals’ feeble attempts at communicating properly. Hope you get a few smiles before todays descent into inanity.
The most literal-minded people on the planet: Photos show what happens when people follow instructions to the word
One man kept his phone ‘under watch’, by putting it under his wristwatch
When met with the sign ‘Draw Bridge’, a creative man produced a sketch
NOW, DON’T YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF?
Filed under Funny Stuff
polination.blog 