Category Archives: Funny Stuff

IT’S ONLY A LITTLE STRANGE

Believe it or not, on Fridays I really try to find some relevant political topics to bring you. For some reason people refuse to stop doing really stupid, bizarre things that should be ignored, but it’s almost like a car wreck you can’t help gaping at. That said, there’s some actual news interspersed with the silliness.

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FROM BIG FUR HAT ON FB
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great-at-math

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REMINDS ME OF A JOKE I MADE UP ONCE:
LITTLE BILLY KLINTOON IN SCHOOL:
TEACHER:”BILLY,USE THE WORD ‘HARRASSMENT’ IN A SENTENCE”
BILLY:”HER LIPS SAID ‘NO’,BUT I KNEW WHAT HERASSMENT”

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BUH BYE, HARRY; DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOUR SCRAWNEY ASS ON THE WAY OUT!
ourcorruption
HEY,DINGY
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THURSDAYS WITH FAMILY

Since the day I was having breakfast with my daughter and my cousin and uncle walked in the restaurant, we’ve been meeting every Thursday morning for breakfast. My cousin Trish brings her dad, sometimes her sister and niece, and today her son showed up, who went from a toddler the last time I saw him to a grown man. Trish also brought her latest romantic interest, and of course Uncle Roger is always there, grinning from ear to ear anticipating the memories.

It’s just breakfast, a seemingly innocuous thing, but it means the world to two old men I love dearly. Part of today’s discussion was the produce we raised on the farm and how Granny canned and froze everything. Then the price of produce today was compared to what it was back then. Roger talked about milking their old cow Lulabelle when he was a boy. Uncle Bob reminisced about an old Mercury he used to drive. Just idle chat with a bunch of old men. We all go dutch, since being cheap… uh… thrifty is a trait that is prevalent in our family. Thursday has become my favorite day of the week.

 

Screen Shot 2015-03-29 at 8.04.35 PMI GOTTA GET ME SOME OF THAT TACT STUFF

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Cruz Control sm

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granny-state

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ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE

Woke up this morning to almost 4″ of snow in our driveway. We have the honor of being the only residence on the whole street that didn’t get plowed. Our landlord doesn’t like to spend money unless he absolutely has to. The forecast for tonight is rain and thunderstorms. This weather sucks.

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2016

 

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got-your-back

UNCLE JOE UNLEASHES HIS INNER HEIDI…GOTCHA,GRUNT
heidi-biden

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HAPPY MONDAY!

Had a really nice weekend. Went to see Miss Isabel in her school’s production of the Wizard of Oz. Those kids put an awful lot of work into it, as the production lasted for more than 90 minutes. Many of the costumes and scenery were borrowed from two local theater companies. The boy who played the Cowardly Lion slipped in a couple ad libs and was really funny. I got a chance to talk to him after the performance and complemented him on his sense of comedic timing and told him he could do anything he dreamed of if he worked hard enough for it. We met some of SIL’s family that we hadn’t before and had a nice lunch at Portillo’s with everybody before coming home.

I went to work this morning, as usual, and it was just starting to snow a bit when I left. Minutes later, the streets were covered with snow. I friended BigFurHat from IOTW Reports on FB yesterday and first thing this morning he was condemning Fat Al Gore to Global Warming Hell as he shoveled three inches of the white stuff. Guess Old Man Winter isn’t quite done with us yet.

OUR LITTLE WITCH WITH HER MOM AND DAD:
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Crystal Clear sm

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Sunday Silliness

St Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland

Waldo finds himself

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I DID A BAD THING TODAY

It is with a heavy heart it must be reported that your intrepid reporter kind of, sort of, in some way, OK, I was guilty of disorderly conduct, disturbing the peace, and verbal abuse of a minor. Allow me to plead my case:

I went to fetch lunch for DW and I at the Subway today. Against my better instincts, I went through the driveup rather than go in and watch them make the sammiches. I ordered a cold cut combo and a BLT for my beloved child bride. When I got home, mine was as ordered, she got a bacon, lettuce and tomato. Minus the lettuce and tomato. I could have handled it better,but I just lost it. Stormed back to the store, asked a kid behind the counter who was obviously saving up for his first razor what a BLT was. He said, bacon, lettuce and tomato.

‘So why did you only put bacon on it?’

‘We don’t put anything on it unless the customer orders it.’

‘Then why don’t you just call it a B?’

‘A lot of people order it that way.’

‘Look, kid, nobody comes in here and pays 6 bucks for a piece of bread with 2 strips of bacon on it. Don’t pee on my back and tell me its raining.’

Then another girl jumped in and stated that’s the way they were told… only put on what the customer specifies. She didn’t fare any better. It was lunch and there were about a dozen people inside. I don’t know how many were amused and how many were annoyed. At that point I didn’t much care. There was an older man behind the register and he said for what it was worth, he agreed with me. I just get fed up with really stupid people who think they’re worth $15/hour.
Apparently in Obamaworld, independent thought and common sense are frowned upon. Guess I won’t be going in that store again for a while.

Perhaps I’m an embarrassment to my family,but my grandmother didn’t suffer fools lightly either.

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FactCheckers

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Ill fated blind date

Ill fated blind date

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A SAINT PATRICK’S DAY MEMORY

Many years ago, after my granddad retired, it didn’t take long being under granny’s foot when she tried to do her housework she issued an ultimatum… get a part time job or she’d make his life even more miserable than she already did. Being a fan of drinking beer, he got a job part-time tending bar at a tavern named Kelly Malone’s. Typical neighborhood place. Juke box, pool tables, a bowling machine and there was a moose head high on the wall,about 12-15 feet. St Patrick’s Day was like Christmas, New Years and the Fourth of July all rolled into one. The free corned beef and green beer flowed. It wasn’t a good day unless the local constabulary had to intervene at some point.

The second holiday he worked there he came home and said ‘You won’t believe what happened.’

‘What?’

‘Somebody got that damn moosehead down off the wall and stole it.’

It must have gotten really drunk outside. Imagine sobering up and finding a nasty,moth-eaten head in your living room and you can’t remember how it got there. Beer has been making people act stupidly for thousands of years.

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Par For Discourse

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A Prayer for Daily Savings Time

I know this is so last Monday, but I just saw this video and it is really funny, plus a really GREAT prayer, I have to share.

“I miss my hour! … Hour, you will not get the best of us! … Stupidity I send you back down, in the Name of Jesus!”

DST caffeine

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Legends in their own minds

TURTLE ninja

DOG Batman
CAT niss Everdeen

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