Posted by Pistol Pete
It’s that day when you can put all the depressing crap aside for awhile and just be grateful you’re not some of these people.
HEY,GRUNT:IF YOU’RE INTERESTED,I THINK HE’S AVAILABLE!
HILLARY MEETS KING ABDULLAH WEARING HER NEW “WHERE’S WALDO” JACKET
polination.blog 
‘It’s never too late to right your wrong’: US daughter who sent her own father to prison for 40 years after lying that he raped her pleads for his release
It is frightening what some women will do to get back at their husbands.That’s why I obey DW’s orders to the letter.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2397002/Daughter-sent-father-prison-40-years-lying-raped-pleads-release.html#ixzz2dT0pGNif
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Thanks, Sis!: Man Reportedly Escapes Police Shootout with Minor Wound, Arrested After Overly Cautious Sibling Calls Ambulance
Thanksgiving dinner in that house will be interesting,no?
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/08/25/thanks-sis-man-reportedly-escapes-police-shootout-with-minor-wound-arrested-after-overly-cautious-sibling-calls-ambulance/
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Prosecutors: Minnesota woman killed boyfriend who was trying to leave her, hid his body in freezer
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/08/27/prosecutors-minn-woman-killed-boyfriend-who-was-trying-to-leave-her-hid-his/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+foxnews%2Fnational+%28Internal+-+US+Latest+-+Text%29#ixzz2dT2BqRHu
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Egyptian addicted to stealing cuts off both his hands… by allowing a TRAIN to run over his wrists
OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2404082/Egyptian-addicted-stealing-cuts-hands-allowing-TRAIN-run-wrists.html#ixzz2dT2gaWeu
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THEY BETTER HOPE THE COPS HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7TzPEYci_w
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Caught with his pants down: A cell phone thief fails to get away after tripping over his own sagging jeans
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2405151/Brooklyn-cell-phone-thief-Joel-Donaldson-fails-away-tripping-jeans.html#ixzz2dT3wgUyD
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Man diagnosed with chronic lateness condition
I can’t understand how being habitually late is a medical condition
http://arbroath.blogspot.com/2013/08/man-diagnosed-with-chronic-lateness.html
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Man Sentenced to 22 Years for Murder, Given 10 Days to Report…You Can Probably Guess How That Turned Out
He made his skinny ass disappear. Aren’t they usually taken into custody immediately?
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/08/29/man-sentenced-to-22-years-for-murder-given-10-days-to-report-you-can-probably-guess-how-that-turned-out/
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In the hot seat! Engineer builds wheelchair that’s fitted with a FLAMETHROWER
This chair is badass.I’d like to get me one.(just for barbeques and stuff)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2405433/Engineer-builds-wheelchair-fitted-FLAMETHROWER.html#ixzz2dT5t6HAh
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CHRISSY:HERE’S A FOUR-PART HENRI COMMERCIAL
ENJOY
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ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLMAOPMPROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
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Not gonna let my cats watch these… it might give them ideas.
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Revealed: How Often Do Single Men Change Their Sheets?
When I was single,I’d let things go until they had to call in a hazmat team.
One of the perks of being married…DW keeps a clean house
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/08/28/revealed-how-often-do-single-men-change-their-sheets/
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I am afraid to look at the results of this survey. And I am afraid to open the door to my grown son’s door.
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I don’t blame you!
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Italian men want bigger penises
I didn’t know there was a medical procedure for that.I get e-mails about this stuff all the time.
http://dailycaller.com/2013/08/30/italian-men-want-bigger-penises/
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Over an eight-year period, a parking meter mechanic stole more than $200,000 in quarters from about 75 meters in Buffalo, N.Y., and no one was the wiser, because the meters didn’t keep track of how much money was put into them. He was caught when the city switched to computerized pay stations, and officials noticed they were bringing in $500,000 more a year.
HI, SURPRISED TO SEE ME!? … After eating at a seafood restaurant in Newark, N.J., a woman was handed another customer’s credit card by mistake. Instead of giving it back, she went to the mall across the street and did some shopping. The victim tried to cancel the card, and was told that transactions were being made on it, so he got the restaurant to give him surveillance photos of the woman, and went looking for her. He alerted mall security, and they grabbed her within the hour.
ME!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET GAS! … Two men who broke into the storage unit of a home in Fort Bend County, Texas, were caught because their getaway car ran out of gas about 100 yards from the scene of the crime.
WHAT WAS THAT, OFFICER? I WASN’T LISTENING … Police in Santa Cruz, Calif., detained a man they suspected in a child porn case. While they were questioning him, he was downloading child porn images onto his cellphone.
YOU LOOKING FOR THIS, BUB? … A suspect, about to go on trial with two other men for a home invasion robbery case in Pensacola, Fla., wrote a note to his accomplices on what they should say to “get their stories straight.” Unfortunately, he accidentally dropped it in the jury box, and a deputy found it. Guilty as charged.
GOING SOMEWHERE, SON? … A man who tried to shoplift $4,500 worth of designer handbags from a store in Farmington, Conn., was confronted outside by police. He then tried to steal a car that happened to be idling nearby. But the vehicle was owned by a man who had been convicted of drunken driving, and it was equipped with a device that prevents the car from moving until the driver blows into it to check alcohol levels. The thief did not know how to operate it.
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ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
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If I had a vehicle that was worth stealing/tempting to thieves, I’d want to get me one of those gizmos!
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17 Issues Sober People Have To Deal With
this is from Buzzfeed with some adorable kitten emots….worth looking at.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/samimain/issues-sober-people-have-to-deal-with
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I loved this one. Alcohol makes me feel nauseous after about 2 sips, so I just leave it alone. Sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on all the fun, but then again, I feel great the day after a party, so I guess it evens out. The worst is when people say they don’t trust anyone who never drinks. It’s not because I don’t want to toast, or bond with them over beers; it’s because I don’t want to barf on them!
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I’m very sensitive to alcohol, and I can’t handle more than one glass of wine. I found this out when I didn’t stop in time one night many many years ago… ugh. Give me credit for this, I learn from my mistakes.
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The West and the Breast
Longread: What I Saw at the Go Topless March
This is a follow-up to my post last week about women whose breasts had lost the war to gravity…this is funny!
I’m here to see the 30 to 50 shirtless demonstrators demanding topless equality for women as part of National Go Topless Day. There’s no sign of them
http://freebeacon.com/the-west-and-the-breast/
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Reading that was a really weird experience … kinda like walking on The Commons in Ithaca.
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Jail Becomes Home for Husband Stuck With Lifetime Alimony
New Jersey is one of only a few states with lifetime alimony.This is a good reason why.
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-08-26/jail-becomes-home-for-husband-stuck-with-lifetime-alimony.html
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Man pleads guilty to ‘peeping Tom’ charge after being discovered peering out of toilet at woman and her seven-year-old daughter from inside the septic tank
Quick!Somebody hit the EEEWWWWW button.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2401471/Kenneth-Enlow-pleads-guilty-peeping-Tom-charge-peering-toilet-woman.html
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Police: Woman held for beating man with stiletto heel, broom
When high heels are outlawed,only outlaws(and transgenders) will have heels
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/chi-chicago-crime-high-heels-beating-20130826,0,1166878.story
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I couldn’t pick a favorite if I tried. Those were hilarious.
Love the Friday funnies!
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That was funny!
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Snorked pretty good on the Dilbert cartoon, Pete. And that jogger had nice legs. I know it LOOKS like a guy, but that’s just one of the disguises that women joggers have to use in Central Park to avoid getting raped. That’s what Mayor Bloomberg recommends, since they’re not allowed to carry guns in NY. 😉
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Here’s a Friday Fun Video…
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Put Obama’s face on the muppet, singing ME ME ME-and I would really be funny.
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KLEENEX ALERT!! Kids in cancer ward tape message on their windows and the people in the office building across the way answer!
http://www.childrensmercy.org/About_Us/Newsroom/Latest_News/Headlines/Hangman_with_Harlee__Making_Friends_Across_the_Way_at_Truman_Medical_Center/
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