Author Archives: GruntOfMonteCristo
Kim Jong Un Reported Missing Again; Last Photos Show Him Perfectly Healthy During Outing in Sea of Japan
Filed under Funny Stuff
Mysterious Campaign Posters Appear with Unidentifiable Woman Candidate for President 2016
It’s clearly not Hillary Clinton. It bears a striking resemblance to Queen Nefertiti. Hasn’t she been dead for 3300 years? We’re really pushing the eligibility clause now, aren’t we?
Filed under Elections, Hillary Clinton
Obama Blames Climate Change for Daughter’s Asthma
Washington (World News Bureau) – President Obama told an interviewer on Wednesday’s Good Morning America that climate change “got personal” for him when his daughter Maleinko experienced an asthma attack.
“What I can relate to is the fear a parent has when your four-year-old daughter comes up to you and says, ‘Daddy, I’m having trouble breathing. Please put out that cigarette.’ The fright you feel is terrible – nobody should be driven to smoke because of the fear of climate change.”
Read more at World News Bureau (Parody).
Filed under Funny Stuff
But PETA Still Approves
It’s been reported many times that protecting Hillary Clinton is the most hated job in the U.S. Secret Service. Kate Andersen Brower, in her book, “Residence: Inside the Private World of the White House,” gives us more detail into exactly why that is. In the excerpts she published just yesterday in Politico, it seems even first daughter Chelsea got into the act of mistreating her protectors:
One day, according to Payne, he was walking through the second-floor private kitchen when an agent walked in behind him waiting to escort Chelsea to Sidwell Friends, the private school she attended in northwest Washington. Chelsea was on the phone.
“Oh, I’ve got to go,” she told her friend. “The pigs are here.”
The agent turned “crimson,” Payne recalls. “Ms. Clinton, I want to tell you something. My job is to stand between you, your family, and a bullet. Do you understand?”
She replied: “Well, that’s what my mother and father call you.”
Hat tip to Trailbee for the idea. Cross-posted at the Grunt Blog.
Filed under Hillary Clinton
The New Crop of Political Action Figures Looks a Little Too Realistic
I don’t think this one is intended to be a joke, at all, really.
This talking Barack figurine also looks deadly serious…
But you can’t help chuckling over the mistakes in the Hillary figure. Everybody knows she prefers Tito’s.
Comments Off on The New Crop of Political Action Figures Looks a Little Too Realistic
Filed under Funny Stuff
Obama-Backed Muslim Ex-Dictator Wins in Nigeria
As another Christian leader falls in Africa, thanks very much to the efforts of the Obama Administration and the American taxpayer, willing or not, Boko Haram is celebrating in Nigeria today. That’s because their preferred candidate, General Mohammadu Buhari is now President, and they have very little to worry about.
The truth is, Boko Haram had very little to worry about before the election. Recently, former U.S. Congressman Steve Stockman, who was in Nigeria last summer investigating Boko Haram, confirmed that the U.S. military was prepared to give the government of Christian former-President Goodluck Jonathan intelligence that would have allowed it to crush the terrorist group. This was blocked by the Obama State Department using the excuse that they were holding out for concessions in Nigeria’s position on same-sex marriage. Stockman admits that this makes little sense, because the opposition Muslim candidate, General Buhari, now in power, would be considerably less likely to liberalize laws on any gay-rights issues.
In summary, our U.S. State Department, under the leadership of Barack Obama and SecState John Kerry, so badly wanted the next President of Nigeria to be a 72-year-old Muslim ex-dictator, that they were willing to risk it being known that they intentionally failed to help fight Boko Haram during the height of their brutal reign of terror in that country. This means that they decided not to rescue hundreds of kidnapped schoolgirls married off and converted to Islam against their will. They decided not to help stop the slaughter of thousands of Christian martyrs who refused to convert. They decided to purposely weaken the only leader who had a chance of opposing Boko Haram in the future, and they elected to provide an embarrassingly absurd lie about why they chose to do so.
Why did they do this? What motivated our own leadership to behave in this catastrophic, reckless way? If anyone knows, they’re not telling. But it’s certainly unfortunate for all Christians in Africa that they succeeded this time.
Filed under Africa, Barack Obama, Boko Haram, Christianity, Islam, John Kerry
Today’s PoliNation Recipe for the Apocalypse: Huitlacoche Tacos
I think it goes without saying that after another year or so with this administration in the White House, we’ll be subsisting on the occasional rat casserole and ditch weed salad. If the internet still exists, we’ll be spending lots of time on West African nutritional websites trying to figure out the proper ways to cook “bush meat.” If you don’t know what that means, trust me; you will. So, in that spirit, we here at PoliNation would like to present one of the hidden treasures of North American subsistence living: Huitlachoche Tacos.
Huitlacoche is just a nice word for “corn smut,” which is a fungus that plagues corn crops. Since I grow corn, myself, I have the pleasure of cursing corn smut on a regular basis. I never once thought of eating it, but I was vaguely aware that it could be bought, and strangely, it turns out that it’s not even really that cheap. I think this is because the people who harvest, process and can the product require special equipment to keep from being poisoned, along with generous hazard pay. They may even need to be imported from third world places where labor is cheap and unemployment is rampant, like the European Union countries.
To prepare the huitlachoche, you first need to use a knife to cut the fungus off the corn and then throw the corn away. It’s no longer any good to eat because all the good nutrients have been sucked out of it by the mushroomy crap. Oh, and don’t worry about using a clean knife. Actually, any sharp rock or piece of glass will do, too, because you’ll want to throw it away after you’re done, anyway. Finally, you want to lightly sauté your cuitlacoche on a hot surface until, um, until you feel like stopping, and slap it onto a warm tortilla or any piece of grass-cake or bread-like substance that happens to be available. That’s it. Enjoy!
Oh, and don’t forget to add a green salad to balance out the meal. Instead of dressing, try splashing some Jack Daniels on top of your ditch weeds if you can afford it. I know what you’re saying; “where are we going to find some Jack Daniels in post-Obama America?” Well, it just so happens that old Jack is probably what we’ll be using for money by then, so it will be one of the few commercial products that will be available. Healthy eating, and happy April Fools Day!
Filed under Humor
Obama Treason Offense #371 is So Demonic I Can’t Write the Headline
All I can do with this one is point you to NiceDeb’s excellent article yesterday on the REAL reason President Obama has not been helping the Nigerian government of Christian President Goodluck Jonathon to fight Boko Haram. I’ll give you the money lines from her article:
What do you suppose has been behind the Obama Regime’s abject refusal to help this ally fight terrorists?
Would you believe that there’s a presidential election coming up in Nigeria, and Obama’s favored Muslim candidate is in a tight race against the Christian President Goodluck Jonathan?
And would you further believe that a political consulting group founded by Obama confidante David Axelrod is assisting that candidate – Retired Gen. Muhammadu Buhari – who hails from Muslim-dominated northern Nigeria from whence Boko Haram was spawned?
That’s right. Obama is using your tax dollars to influence yet another election to benefit muslim activist control, this time in Africa. In doing so, he’s profoundly HELPING Boko Haram and contributing to the abduction, forced conversions and deaths of thousands of African Christian children. How do you feel about that?
Read More at NiceDeb. Hat tip for the link: Mindful WebWorks.
Filed under Africa, Barack Obama, Boko Haram, Elections, Islam
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