Author Archives: Pistol Pete

by | December 10, 2013 · 12:56 pm

PETE’S PAGE; TUESDAY EDITION

Posted by Pistol Pete

So the Mandela memorial  was today. Sadly,I missed our feckless leader’s homage to himself,as I had pressing business. I had to clean the lint trap in the dryer. From what I’ve read it was a pathetic display of puffery and self-aggrandizement. It was supposedly a solemn memorial for a world leader who had passed and it devolved into something akin to the Wellstone memorial. I read on Twitchy that when Barry was done with his self-congratulations GW Bush gave him a standing ovation,out of respect. When he was shown on the Jumbotron he was roundly booed. This was nothing more than a who’s who of tinpot dictators and A-list celebrities hobnobbing.

OBAMA SHAKES HANDS WITH RAUL CASTRO. NOTE HOW WELL HE BOWS TO MURDEROUS DICTATORS.

SOMEONE ELSE WAS SPEAKING,OBVIOUSLY NOWHERE NEAR AS INTELLIGENT AND CHARMING AS TEH WON,SO HE TOOK SOME SELFIES WITH PM CAMERON AND THE THE NORDIC BLONDE PM OF DENMARK.MOOCH DOES NOT LOOK IMPRESSED.

CHECK THE SCOWL ON MOOCH’S PUSS;SHE’S EITHER PISSED AT BARRY OR HAVING A HEAVY FLOW DAY

SOME YOUNG AFRICAN GIRLS CALLED OUT TO THE PRINCE OF LIES. HE STOOD,AND WITH ONE WAVE OF HIS MIGHTY HAND VALIDATED THEIR ENTIRE EXISTENCE. SERIOUSLY,WHAT RICHES CAN LIFE HOLD FOR THEM AFTER THIS? IT’S ALL ANTI-CLIMACTIC.

I heard audio on Rush’s show of Christiane Imawhore having repeated,violent,shuddering orgasms talking about the Great Pretender and how he’s assuming the mantle of leadership and how Mandela is bringing the world together. She was absolutely breathless.

HERE IS ONE PARAGRAPH OF BARRY’S SPEECH I LIFTED FROM KEITH KOFFLERS POST.(I’ll link to it).

GET A BOTTLE OF ALCOHOL AND TAKE A DRINK EVERY TIME HE SAYS ‘I’ OR ‘ME’ IN ONE STINKING PARAGRAPH! YOU WON’T LAST LONG.

But let me say to the young people of Africa and the young people around the world – you, too, can make his life’s work your own.

Over 30 years ago, while still a student, I learned of Nelson Mandela and the struggles taking place in this beautiful land, and it stirred something in me. It woke me up to my responsibilities to others and to myself, and it set me on an improbable journey that finds me here today. And while I will always fall short of Madiba’s example, he makes me want to be a better man. (Applause.) He speaks to what’s best inside us.

Always about him…always.

ENOUGH!!!!

h/t to legal insurrection

30 Comments

Filed under Barack Obama, Funny Stuff, Nelson Mandela

by | December 9, 2013 · 1:23 pm

PETE’S PAGE; MONDAY EDITION

Posted by Pistol Pete

First off,prayers up for all of our friends who are suffering through this terrible storm. Where we live was spared pretty much,only about 4″ of snow between yesterday and overnight. Hopefully you’ll feel a little better after your visit here.

Got a few political posts,but I’d rather concentrate on things not necessarily in the headlines.

THE OBAMAS HOSTED A PARTY FOR THE KENNEDY CENTER HONOREES LAST NIGHT,INCLUDING BILLY JOEL,CARLOS SANTANA AND HERBIE HANCOCK. SURE BEATS WORKIN’ DON’T IT?

BTW,THESE DEVOUT MUSLIMS ARE GETTING BY WITH ONLY 24 CHRISTMAS TREES AT THE SPITE HOUSE THIS YEAR. PRETTY GOOD,SINCE THEY WON’T EVEN BE THERE.

Nothing like rubbing it in peoples’ faces.

BARRY VISITED THE USS ARIZONA MEMORIAL. PRETENDS HE GIVES A SHIT. SIGN IN THE BACKGROUND BARELY READABLE WITH HIM IN THE FOREGROUND. IT ALWAYS HAS TO BE ABOUT HIM. ALWAYS.

Added by CtH – Cesar Millan says, “Walking in front of your dog allows you to be seen as the pack leader. Conversely, if your dog controls you on the walk, he’s the pack leader. You should be the first one out the door and the first one in. Your dog should be beside or behind you during the walk.” http://www.cesarsway.com/training/thewalk/6-Tips-for-Mastering-the-Dog-Walk

LOVE THIS ONE:

FACE IT:YOU CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF HER!

OOPS,I MEANT HER!

40 Comments

Filed under Funny Stuff

by | December 7, 2013 · 1:39 pm

A DATE THAT WILL LIVE IN INFAMY

Posted by Pistol Pete

I had no intention of posting anything today until I realized what day it was. Considering the price those men paid I felt it my duty and my honor to voice my appreciation in whatever way I could. Fortunately I was educated in a time when schools actually taught about our history without the political biases. It seemed to me unthinkable that as Japan was overrunning the Far East and committing genocide of the Chinese we did nothing. I understand there were a lot of people who had no taste for another World War. We helped the Allies in Europe through Lend Lease,but did not involve our own war machine until the Empire of Japan wakened the sleeping tiger.

A precious few,some estimate about 70,that survived that day are still with us. You wonder what their opinion of the current administration is.

THIS IS THE USS ARIZONA MEMORIAL. HER COMRADES REST TOGETHER FOR ETERNITY. NO BOAT OR DIVER CAN TAMPER WITH THIS SACRED MEMORIAL.

3 Comments

Filed under Pearl Harbor

by | December 6, 2013 · 12:56 pm

PETE’S PAGE; FRIDAY FUNHOUSE EDITION

Posted by Pistol Pete

“Resentment is like taking poison hoping it will kill your enemies.”….Nelson Mandela

Little did he realize he occupied a jail cell where Barack Hussein Obama would stand one day. He’d have been thrilled.

R.I.P.

Before we start with the fun stuff I know some of you are dying to hear about the hard-hitting interview conducted by one Christopher Matthews.

It was everything you could imagine and worse.

He actually said this: “He came to us. He came amongst us.”

MK Ham tweeted: “And, lo, the president came upon them, and the glory of the president shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.”

It was really bad,folks. Bozo grinning from ear to elephantine ear as Tingles vomited drek all over his wingtips. Chrissy was smart to wear a dark suit so people wouldn’t notice him pissing on himself (I hope it was just pee.) Toughest question: who would be a better president? Plugs or Cankles? Of course,they’re the best veep and SOS EVAH,according to his royal Pettiness. There is a youtube embedded at the first link where Tingles is having a circle jerk with Howard Fineman,the stinking crapweasel David Corn and some broad whose face is blocked by the start button. I didn’t want to know bad enough to watch it to find out. Judging from the nicely tanned hands I’d guess it was their junior race baiter,Melissa Hairy-Scary. I’m pasting a couple links in case you’re really,really into pain.

“Al Gore  accepted the fact, even though he won by 600,000 votes, that W. was president. And the Democrats accepted the legitimacy of George W. Bush 100 percent,” …you can’t make this stuff up…unless you’re a lib.

http://hotair.com/archives/2013/12/05/chris-matthews-on-his-obama-interview-he-came-to-us-he-came-amongst-us/

ENOUGH OF THIS!!!LET’S HAVE SOME FUN!

OBAMA’S TAKING SOME BEACH BUNNIES WITH HIM ON VACATION

Lord.forgive me,for I know not what I do.

Help yourself

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/12/05/the-toughest-question-chris-matthews-asked-obama-in-exclusive-interview/

34 Comments

Filed under Barack Obama, Chris Matthews, Funny Stuff

by | December 5, 2013 · 12:04 pm

PETE’S PAGE; THURSDAY EDITION

Posted by Pistol Pete

Geez,miss one day and suddenly my bookmark list overfloweth with all manner of subjects. A lot of stuff to sort through,but I’ll get it done. I always do. Looking forward to tomorrow’s post–lots of good stuff.

Barry is skipping town for the white,sandy beaches of Hawaii for the 6th time. Taking his peeps and his string of media whores with him. And guess what? YOU’RE PAYING FOR IT!

45 Comments

Filed under Funny Stuff

by | December 3, 2013 · 1:43 pm

PETE’S PAGE; TUESDAY EDITION

Posted by Pistol Pete

To answer GP’s query:

Yes,I am more than happy to help with your Christmas tree quandary. When the kids were little,we took them to the Sinissippi forest in Oregon,Il.,pre-Christmas Story movie.

Just get on Hwy 64 (North Ave) and head west. When you go over the I-39 overpass you’ll come to a stop sign at hwy 251. Go straight and you’ll see a sign that says:Oregon 12 miles. As you just get into town there’s a road on the left called Daysville Rd. Turn left and look for a fork where Daysville curves to the left and Lowden Rd goes to the right. You’ll see a sign that says Sinissippi Sawmill. The tree lot is just past it. They cut fresh trees or they’ll give you a bucksaw to kill your own tree in honor of the season. There is coffee,cider and donuts and other baked goods plus hopelessly overpriced plastic trinkets in the converted barn. The kids still tell their little ones about getting in dad’s GMC Sierra and singing songs as we go out to find the perfect tree.

I am including below a link with their address,phone number and relevant information. If you’re looking for a white pine,these are some of the best you’ll find. There’s even a White Pines State Park on the other side of Oregon. This area is famous for them and teeming with deer. I drove this route for 25 years and saw many of them. Hope this helps.

http://www.manta.com/c/mm2wfdr/sinnissippi-forest

PS:the foliage along this route during fall turnover is spectacular.

There are all kinds of tree farms around here. Keep  your city life;I’ll stay in the country until I’m gone.

32 Comments

Filed under Funny Stuff

by | December 2, 2013 · 1:05 pm

PETE’S PAGE; CYBER MONDAY EDITION

Posted by Pistol Pete

Glad to see Chrissy’s long nightmare is over.

Between Friday and today I did the bulk of my holiday gift shopping without leaving the comfort of my broken down,padding worn-through computer chair which I have been hinting to DW and two of my daughters to replace for a nice leather high-back number with arm rests. We’ll see if it works. I’m not really counting on it.

Do not attempt to assign any rhyme or reason to the links today. I’ve bookmarked so much it’s all over the place. I’ll just holler ‘Geronimo’ and take a leap of faith.

On December 1, 1955, in Montgomery, Alabama, Rosa Parks refused to obey bus driver James F. Blake’s order that she give up her seat in the colored section to a white passenger. Today in remembrance of that event Barack Obama tweeted out… a picture of himself.

No matter what,when or where,

IT ALWAYS HAS TO BE ABOUT HIM!!!

Sorry.

42 Comments

Filed under Funny Stuff

by | November 30, 2013 · 1:10 pm

SATURDAY OPEN THREAD

Posted by Pistol Pete

I’m going to poat a few things,but basically this is a venue for Chrissy to vent.Apparently her computer is in sympatico with healthcare.gov,which is currently shut down for maintenance.

Howzabout some funnies?

 

31

Bed Sore copy 2

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barack-obama-as-a-womanBuckwheatSurprised

MAYBE THIS IS CtH’S PROBLEM:

 

funny kitten pics 2

obamacare_forever_stamp

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22 Comments

Filed under Funny Stuff

by | November 29, 2013 · 3:51 pm

PETE’S PAGE; AFRO-AMERICAN FRIDAY

Posted by Pistol Pete

In accordance with edict#754 by emperor Barack Hussein Obama I (all praise his name) the term “black” is hereby banished from the realm.

Examples:

Afro-American-eyed peas

Afro-American widow spiders

Afro-American berry pie

Afro-American & Decker power tools

Bad Day at Afro-American Rock

Famous horse: Afro-American Beauty

As always,this edict is subject to change according to Emperor Obama’s whims.

So let it be written,so let it be done.

Hope everybody had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day. We went to DD’s and enjoyed visiting with family. Unfortunately,DD did NOT inherit her great-grandma’s cooking skills. The turkey dried out and was tough to chew and most everything was cold while we waited for stragglers. I didn’t say anything,obviously,but there are things she’ll learn in time. Granny told everybody when dinner would be ready. If you were there,you ate. If not,as they say in Siberia,tuffshitzski. She lives in a small town about 15 miles west of here and there are two WalMarts along the way. We came home around six and I could not imagine the crowds turning into mobs to buy some cheap Chinese crap. May I never get to a state where I would have to endure such madness for an electronic appliance that will be obsolete in 6 months.

ADDED BY CTH (who is actually still having trouble posting … it comes and goes):

I googled “afro wig” thinking I’d do a little funny to add to Pete’s big funny list above. Odd thing … nearly ALL of the models are white! So I was thinking maybe I’d snag an afro graphic and stick it on a spider, but then I remembered, we had that image already back when FLATUS was getting nominated for … well, you know. Anyway, then I stumbled on these Oprah images, which sorry, you’ll need brain bleach after this one, but if you don’t see them first, you won’t get the MAD Magazine version which is the best funny I’ve come up with to add to Pete’s list.

Oprah HAIR

Oprah NAIR

35 Comments

Filed under Funny Stuff

by | November 27, 2013 · 12:52 pm

PETE’S PAGE; HAPPY HANUKKAH, THANKSGIVING

Posted by Pistol Pete

Tomorrow is one of those rare times when Thanksgiving and Hanukkah fall on the same day.

First off,my thoughts and prayers go out to Chrissy,Ting and any lurkers who may be faced with 6-12 inches of global warming by tomorrow.

This is the time of year I remember most fondly and miss Granny the most. Many of my happiest hours were spent breaking up the stale bread into her double roaster for the dressing and smelling the necks and giblets she cooked for an entire day so they would be tender enough to cut up and go into the concoction with celery,apples,and whatever else she used. Her fruit salad (which uncle Roger still talks about) was made of bananas,grapes,tangerines,apple and pears in kind of a milky mayonnaise fluid. She always had pumpkin,mincemeat and banana cream pie along with aunt Evelyn’s German chocolate cake. We’d always have 35-40people,but no one was ever turned away. We’d go out to milk and do chores,like every other day,and when we came in a few hours later the glorious smell of roasting turkeys wafted through the house.

After dinner me,my cousin Bobby, and my retarded cousin Scott would go out to the compost pile behind the barn to look for holes. Compost absorbs heat and reptiles,being cold-blooded, would burrow into it to survive the winter. We’d roll up our sleeves and stick our arms into these holes and feel for garter or corn snakes which we’d chase our sisters with. We knew we’d get walloped for doing it,but it was fun anyway. Sometimes Bobby would bring his BB gun and we’d sit by the barn gate and take potshots at the breed bulls’ balls. Boy,did that piss him off. Grandpa was none too pleased,either, since I guess that bull served a purpose. All I knew was every time I got near it he’d chase me. Guess he held a grudge.

Many Thanksgivings have come and gone since those days and I’ve spent them in different ways with different people. But the day is not about food,football games or parades. It’s about giving thanks to Almighty God for all you’ve been blessed with and sharing with the ones you love most,and thinking of them when you can’t be there with them.

FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, GOD BLESS AND KEEP EACH AND EVERY ONE WHO PASSES BY HERE.

39 Comments

Filed under Holidays