Category Archives: Funny Stuff

The fascinating thing about my regular Thursday breakfast with my kin is you’re never quite sure who will show up. This morning it was me, Uncle Bob, Uncle Roger, my cousin Trish, and my cousin Pam’s daughter, Carrie, who I haven’t seen since she was a little girl. She’s 32 and has two children. She works at a mega-church thrift store in town. We spent more than an hour eating and being peppered with questions from Carrie about the family history. There is a chalk portrait in her mother’s home she never realized was of her mother, Pam, done by my mom. She seemed enthralled by all the things she never knew and I look forward to seeing her again. I consider it of utmost importance to pass on the history of the family so when we pass on the history of who we are and where we came from can live on.

The world is a cold, hard place, unfeeling and uncaring. Many days I don’t even check what’s going on because everything seems to be wrong. It’s at a point where nothing matters much anymore outside of my faith and my family. I will still post the usual stuff as the spirit moves. God bless you all.

MUSLIMS,MOST LIKELY

It was early September in the year of Our Lord, 1969. An American had just walked on the moon and the Chicago Cubs had led the National League virtually since opening day. There had been a summer-long party in the Windy City. The slide began in mid-August and never stopped until the Cubs relinquished first place to the New York Mets, who went on a tear in September to something like a 25-3 record.

The day the Cubs slipped into second place I remember my grandfather coming through the kitchen door, his face flush with dejection. His voice fairly trembled with the bitterness of unfulfilled dreams as he spoke the words I’ve never forgotten: “THEY WOULDN’T BE THE CUBS IF THEY DIDN’T BREAK YOUR HEART.”

Saturday the Cubs clinched their first playoff berth since 2008 by virtue of the team behind them losing. The players and the fans celebrated heartily, the fact they’d just lost a game to the Pittsburgh Pirates, the team they will face next week in a one-game playoff. The winner goes on to face St. Louis, the loser packs his bags and heads home until spring training.

As most of you know, Chicago’s 5-year rebuilding plan is in its 107th year. They haven’t been in a World Series since 1945, a year when most teams still had their best players fighting World War II. There is not another athletic team, amateur or professional, who is on the same planet as far as futility. I am convinced the Cubs will never win another championship, at least in my lifetime. It’s one of those inexplicable phenomena like the blue whale, the largest mammal on earth, reaching lengths in excess of 70 feet, has a windpipe approximately the circumference of a half dollar…. that’s just the way it is.

I enjoy watching my professional hometown sports teams, but I don’t get too involved in the euphoric highs and cavernous lows of hardcore fans. I save my unbridled and unabashed enthusiasm for my grandchildrens’ teams. Win or lose, they are winners to me.

Bring on October: Cubs ready to handle the playoff pressure
As the Cubs popped champagne bottles and crushed beer cans, Jason Motte looked at Kyle Schwarber and said: “This is way better than college!”

The mosh pits formed outside the home dugout after Saturday afternoon’s 4-0 loss to the Pittsburgh Pirates at Wrigley Field. The Cubs had already clinched their playoff spot before the game – thanks to the San Francisco Giants losing on Friday night on the West Coast – but there was no way this group would turn down the chance to party.

http://www.csnchicago.com/cubs/bring-october-cubs-ready-handle-playoff-pressure?p=ya5nbcs&ocid=yahoo

Playoff-bound Chicago Cubs ready for 1st trip since 2008
Cubs manager Joe Maddon was watching the movie “Jersey Boys,” doing all he could not to check his iPad Friday night until about the final scene.
He saw that San Francisco was losing to Oakland in the ninth. When the Athletics closed out the victory, it clinched it for the Cubs. Chicago was headed to the playoffs for the first time since 2008.

http://news.yahoo.com/playoff-bound-chicago-cubs-ready-1st-trip-since-185955688–spt.html

that the Lord hath made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.
Gov. Walker drops out of the race
Obama to use the Pope for photo-op
Riots in Europe over Muslim invasion

Most importantly, Miss Olivia wasn’t feeling well, so dad brought her to stay with grandma and papa. She’s watching some Tom and Jerry cartoons on dvd, we played the tickle game and grandma is fixing her spaghetti-os for lunch. Afterward she’ll curl up, as she always does, next to her grandma. It’s always been her safe place. That’s something we all need, no matter how old we are.
In the midst of everything we have to deal with as adults there’s nothing like an ailing 8 year old to keep things in perspective.

and other alliterations.

Stopped at Meier this morning. Was a little sad as I passed the Halloween candy display. They had those peanut butter thingys in the orange and black wrappers. I used to eat them by the bag. I now have type II diabetes. Can’t have them anymore.

Also bought a 5# bag of russet potatoes. Sign said $1.19. Got home and looked at the receipt. I picked up the wrong taters. These were organic potatoes. $4.49/bag. I’ll be taking them back tomorrow while I’m on my route.

Took DW to our granddaughter’s softball game yesterday then to Steak and Shake for lunch. They’re featuring a caramel apple shake for the season. DW made a face I’ve rarely seen since our wedding night.

Coming back from WalMart a little while ago we ended up behind a black Corvette driven by a geezer about 75 years old. He was doing 30MPH. I wasn’t aware Corvettes went that slow.

Yesterday was Rosh Hashana. I’ve been looking to find the article about the celebration Obama surely held at the White House for all his Jewish friends. He DID, didn’t he? He’s never missed a muslim holiday…ever.

I’ve seen a few articles about European countries realizing what they’re doing and cutting off the flood of Syrian “refugees.” 75% of them are military age cowards too afraid to fight for their country but they want to screw up somebody else’s.

LET’S LIGHT THIS CANDLE
THIS IS SO COOL

THIS ONE’S FOR YOU,CHRISSY:

THINK OF ALL THE CARTOONS WE WATCHED AS KIDS THAT WILL NEVER BE SEEN AGAIN BECAUSE OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS.

BoB,THIS ONE’S FOR YOU:

Added by CtH: Awesome graphics today, Pete!  Couldn’t resist doing my own take on the cows. 🙂