Intelligence, reason, and common sense seem to be in short supply
Stupidity continues to yield a bumper crop
If you didn’t at least smile there’s nothing more I can do for you
Author Archives: Pistol Pete
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING REALLY STUPID
Comments Off on AND NOW FOR SOMETHING REALLY STUPID
Filed under Funny Stuff
THE TUESDAY RANT
So a lot of dem bigshots are figuring Plughead Biden to run for preezy. First, I think this is largely generated by media types who just want to stir the pot of political intrigue. You would be hard pressed to convince me that Killary would ever consider dropping out of the race because she has no expectation of being held accountable for her criminality. Just won’t believe it until I actually see it.
Secondly, the media frenzy over The Donald is completely understandable. He’s a walking highlight machine for the talking heads. Whether he can put together the grassroots effort to go out and knock on doors and organize the troops in every state remains to be seen. My feeling is that, although he’s like another Perot, playing on peoples’ frustrations, he offers no solutions that would actually work. If he were elected and tried to remove illegals and their children it would be a PR disaster. Every network would have cameras there to film the distraught parents and the screaming kids being forced into the ICE van. So far, immigration is the only issue he’s had a definitive opinion about. He has long advocated a 20% tariff on foreign goods, which would crush the economy. Bush tried it with foreign steel, remember? It seems to me he’s a little like poor Mikey Bloomberg who ran as a republican for mayor of NYC because there was less competition for the nomination. He never was and never would be any kind of republican. In much the same way Trump seems to be tacking right for the attention that he feeds on.
Still, a debate between The Donald and Plugs would be must-see TV. The brain would drown in hair jokes. I just remain unconvinced that either of them will make the final cut once the circus gets boring.
Filed under Funny Stuff
TROLLS, REDEFINED
To some of my dearest friends in the world, Chrissy, BoB and Ting;
I had some troll images cached, but hadn’t posted them yet. Actually, Tyler’s mom collected the little critters while she was growing up.
Did y’all have the ones with the jewels in the belly?
or did you make cool clothes for them like these?
Added by CtH: Yes and yes. 🙂 We also had furniture and cardboard houses we made for them. Christmas 1994, they starred in our family’s nativity scene.
Since the advent of the inter webs, the term “troll” has a whole new meaning. Fortunately, this site is very good at filtering the spam that these losers like to post, just to disseminate their venom. I imagine they kind of look like these:
IF I HAVEN’T TICKED ANYBODY OFF AT THE END OF THE DAY I HAVEN’T DONE MY JOB
THE SHOW MUST GO ON
Filed under Family & Friends, Funny Stuff
AMERICAN STUDS SAVE FRENCH ASSES… AGAIN
I have a new favorite phrase:”muzzle-thumping”
MY ONLY REGRET IS THAT THESE STEEL-SPINED WARRIORS HAVE A COMMANDER WHO IS A GUTLESS, HEARTLESS MUSLIM ASSHOLE WHO’S COST AN AWFUL LOT OF INNOCENT LIVES BECAUSE OF HIS COWARDICE AND FECKLESSNESS.
Three US service once again show why nobody f*cks with them. Filthy Muslim trash tries to board train full of innocent, unarmed would-be victims to murder for his twisted theology. There were two US servicemen and a Canadian on board. Sucked to be the goat-humping sand negro.
American badasses: 1
Muslim jerkoff cowards: 0
THESE HEROES LIVE BY THE CREED ‘IT’S BETTER TO DIE ON YOUR FEET THAN LIVE ON YOUR KNEES…. DEMOCRATS STILL DON’T GET IT.
Crew on Paris-bound train ‘barricaded themselves in their staffroom and locked the door as Kalashnikov-wielding terrorist went on the rampage – leaving PASSENGERS to take him down’
Train staff on board train which was the scene of a foiled terrorist attack accused of abandoning passengers
A man named in reports as Ayoub el-Qahzzani opened fire on train which had more than 550 passengers on board
He was arrested by police at a train station in Arras and was initially taken to hospital but is now in custody
The 26-year-old Moroccan national is a suspected radical Islamist who was known to security services
Air Force airman Spencer Stone ran at the gunman when he opened fire on the high speed service to Paris
THIS ASS-WHUPPIN’ BROUGHT TO YOU COMPLIMENTS OF THE BRAVEST GUYS ON THE PLANET
P.S.: ALLAHU SNACKBAR AND F*CK YOU
Was on the train with friend Oregon National Guard member Alek Skarlatos, 22, who was travelling through Europe
With the help of Anthony Sadler, from California, and British national Chris Norman, they stopped the attack
Three people, including Stone, wounded in the attack and French police have hailed the bravery of the bystanders
French media report the man denies being a terrorist and instead claims he wanted to carry out an armed robbery
Also claims he wanted to ransom off passengers and he found the weapons in a bag ‘by chance in a Brussels
France train shooting: US soldiers speak of the moment they stopped gunman and ‘beat him until he was unconscious’
“I saw a guy entering the carriage with an AK and a handgun, at that point I ducked down and my friend Spencer, next to me, ducked down and I just looked over at Spencer and said: ‘Let’s go’,” Mr Skalatos told Sky News from his hotel room in Arras, northern France.
The 22-year-old National Guardsman from Rosenburg, Oregan, and Mr Stone charged the unidentified 26-year-old man, believed to be of Moroccan origin, down the narrow carriage.
“Then I grabbed the AK (assault rifle), which was at his feet, and started muzzle thumping him in the head with it,” Mr Skarlatos added.
‘Give me back my gun,’ train attacker pleads with Americans
YEAH,NOT GONNA HAPPEN
(From left to right) Anthony Sadler, from Pittsburg, California, Alek Sharlatos from Roseburg, Oregon, and Chris Norman, a British man living in France thwarted the attacker while on the train. They are pictured with medals they received for bravery.
“I didn’t realise what was happening until I saw a guard run past. I looked back and saw a guy enter with a Kalashnikov. My friends and I got down and then I said ‘Let’s get him’,” said Skarlatos, a 22-year-old member of the National Guard in Oregon, who has recently returned from service in Afghanistan.
“We didn’t know if the gun wasn’t working or anything like that. Spencer just ran anyway and if anyone had gotten shot, it would have been Spencer and we’re just very lucky that nobody got killed,” he added in quotes shown on the BBC.
http://news.yahoo.com/back-gun-train-attacker-pleaded-americans-074842971.html#
France Train Hero: ‘Rather Be Active Than Simply Sit In The Corner And Be Shot’
We’ve seen enough of these kinds of attacks to understand that they will kill everyone once they started. My point of view was that two guys had already started attacking him so maybe they needed some help and it was purely survival. I said to myself ‘Maybe I have a chance as well,’” he said.
Norman held the terrorist’s arms so he could not get access to the gun.
“Anthony had a pretty good go at hitting him… The way the Americans had a go at him, he could not do much more,” he said.
When the train heroes got the terrorist on the floor, Norman tied him up with a tie.
Filed under Armed Forces, Terrorism
THE SATURDAY FUNNIES
THIS IS DEDICATED TO THE LURKERS, THE SHIRKERS, THE MALCONTENTS, THE MISCREANTS, THE DISORIENTED, THE SCHIZOPHRENIC, THE PERPETUALLY JUVENILE, CRIMINALLY INSANE, POLITICAL HACKS, FLACKS AND THOSE WITH NO MORAL STANDARDS.
Without you, I wouldn’t be making the vast thousands of nothings I get paid for doing this.
These are some of what I think are the funniest I have right now.
OUR GIRLS,”DIAMOND” AND “SILK”
Filed under Funny Stuff
SO I WENT TO THE CABLE COMPANY
They sent me a new set-top converter box when I finally replaced my old SDTV with a hi-def one back sometime last year. I’d forgotten about returning it until I got a notice saying we had one or more old set-top boxes that needed to be replaced by 10/6. DW’s set has a box thats almost seven years old. Since the office is a long way across town I figured I’d kill two birds and get her replacement while I returned my old one. The best laid plans, etc., etc.
When I got there I had to take a number. There were 19 people ahead of me and two “customer service people” I think they were called. You may not believe this, but patience is an attribute I never acquired. She said I’d have to disconnect the old box and bring it in. The new box on my other TV didn’t get hooked up until SS did it. I told her that would happen when a Poland China hog flew out of my nether regions.
Then I axed her why my bill went up $20 this month; was it just because they can or did they need more dough to send to the Democrat Party? (It’s Comcast,after all.) She just gave me a polite, ‘Please piss off, I have other people to abuse.’
My lawyer says he can probably plead my case down to a misdemeanor verbal battery charge. I’m out on bail at the moment.
<> on June 13, 2015 in New York City.
CtH adds, LOVE this, Pete!! “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Phil 4:8
I’M ADDICTED TO THESE DAMN THINGS. THE ONLY PLACE I FOUND THEM OTHER THAN AT THE HOLIDAYS IS AT ALDI’S.
CtH adds, “Buttons!”
Filed under Funny Stuff
THE VIDEO PORTION OF OUR PROGRAM
There was so much stuff today I had to break it down into two parts. Don’t know how it happened. Talent,I guess
ONLY 58% oppose Barry’s Iran deal; the rest just don’t care
Filed under Funny Stuff
THE MOSTLY NOT-SO-FUN STUFF
What’s going on today?
Black lives Matter being run by a white dude who conned Orca out of a black scholarship, punk shoots at cops in N. St. Louis, gets neutralized. Crowd gathers instantly, throws bottles and rocks at the po-po, burns a few cars and does some undocumented shopping…. just for the hell of it. Press still shielding Cankles, crowds to hear The Donald swell and the cheating website Ashley Madison, with over 38 MILLION members gets hacked and the area with the most participants is DC (go figure).
My beloved child bride said she never worried about me cheating… I’d be charged with assault with a dead weapon.
Filed under Funny Stuff
PETE AND DIANNY; IN SYMPATICO?
Owing to the positive response to the first vintage toy posting I did, I decided to put together another one. I know a little something about boys’ toys (I played with them). Girls’ toys, not so much. Then I remembered some years ago I bought a stack of board games at an estate auction for a few dollars. One of the games was the 1965 Milton Bradley game Mystery Date. I remembered seeing the commercials for it, but by 1965 I was 15 and starting to notice girls smelled… different. I even thought I was in love once, but it turned out to be an allergy.
I checked and all 4 playing pieces and all 53 cards were there (any board game is almost worthless if not complete) so I put it on eBay with an opening bid of like 9.99. When the auction ended it had sold for almost $125.00.
Fast forward to Monday, August 17, 2015. The delightful Dianny, with a PhD in snarkery,posted this at Patriot Retort:
Who here remembers the board game Mystery Date?
If ever there was a board game that would make Leftists’ heads explode it’s Mystery Date.
After all, the girls have to dress up and hope the boy at the door is the date of their dreams.
There is no transgendered “man.” And, no lesbian date.
I mean, talk about hate.
Any old how.
The thing I remember most is the commercial.
Will your date be a dream? Or a dud?”
Whelp. It looks like the Republican Establishment has been playing Mystery Date. They got themselves all dolled up for the ideal shoo-in candidate, flung the door open only to find Jeb Bush standing there.
READ THE REST HERE:
http://patriotretort.com/mystery-date/
SAY IT WITH ME:
WEEBLES WOBBLE BUT….
This is the Dick Tracy snub-nosed .38 made by Mattel from 1959-1962. It is the same size as the real thing. So real, in fact, that people were robbing stores with them because at that time, you could not be charged with armed robbery if the weapon was a toy. A sheriff’s deputy working security at a toy show I did took a long, hard look at some of the toy pistols I had and told me that the way the law now reads you don’t even have to show a weapon, just indicate you have one and it’s armed robbery.
(The orange plug is there to be advertised on ebay.They were not permanently affixed to guns until the 70’s.
CELEBRITY CHEF BOBBY FLAY WAS INSTRUMENTAL IN KENNER MAKING THE EASY-BAKE OVEN IN NEUTRAL COLORS SO BOYS COULD FEEL BETTER ABOUT USING THEM.THAT’S NO JOKE.
THESE WERE SO DAMN COOL…YOU ATTATCHED THESE TO YOUR BIKE.IT WAS BATTERY OPERATED AND WHEN YOU TURNED IT ON IT MADE A VROOM SOUND LIKE A MOTORCYCLE.I LOVED MINE.
THERE WERE BUBBLE BATH CONTAINERS CALLED ‘SOAKYS’ IN THE FORM OF ALL SORTS OF CARTOON CHARACTERS. ALVIN, MIGHTY MOUSE, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE, ETC. FOR SOME REASON THE UNIVERSAL MONSTER TOYS WERE ALWAYS THE MOST HIGHLY PRIZED. THE ONLY ONES I CAN THINK OF MORE VALUABLE WERE THE BEATLES SOAKYS, WHICH ARE HARDLY EVER SEEN.
TELL THE TRUTH… IF YOU GOT ONE OF THESE FOR CHRISTMAS DID THE SYRUP AND PAPER CONES THAT CAME WITH IT LAST MORE THAN A DAY?
I HAD ONE OF THESE. IT WAS LIKE PLAYING HOT POTATO. YOU WOUND UP THE TOP AND IT UNWOUND AS YOU TOSSED IT BACK AND FORTH UNTIL IT WENT ‘BANG’. THEY USUALLY LASTED A WEEK OR TWO UNTIL THEY GOT OVERWOUND AND DIDN’T WORK ANYMORE
I KNEW ONE KID WHO COULD MAKE CIRCLES WITH AN ETCH-A-SKETCH…I HATED HIM
Filed under Family & Friends
THE HUBRIS IS STUNNING
Hillary Clinton is a cold, calculating, unfeeling shell without a soul who is fueled by greed and a lust for power. She will steamroll over and destroy anybody who gets in her way. She’s not the least bit likeable and expects the highest office in the land to be handed to her because she was jilted once.
She was a miserable failure as a lawyer but was smart enough to recognize a slimy, bulbous-nosed, pathological liar who was incredibly charming had potential and hitched her wagon to his star. Theirs is more a partnership than a relationship and I suspect it’s been so for many, many years. He is a sexual predator and I have no doubt a serial rapist. He does ’em, she shuts ’em up. Whether through bribery or intimidation; whatever works. I’d bet my retirement check it continues today.
So why is this woman (allegedly) who’s well-versed in the art of crime, coverup, and the seedy side of politics now looking like a ham-handed beginner? She seems completely detached from reality and fully expects her minions in the press and the democrat party to support her as she tries to get out from under the mountain of lies she’s woven to cover up her abject criminality.
Hillary’s Minions added by CtH, cuz I can. 🙂
Hillary Clinton: The Spin, the Cover-Up, and the Crime
Hillary Clinton rolled the dice in Las Vegas with a hilariously awful press conference, in which she once again pretended to be a doddering old granny who doesn’t know much about these newfangled “computer” contraptions all the kids are playing with.
Bonus cringe points for showing up in an outfit that looked uncomfortably like an orange prison jumpsuit, and making an incredibly clumsy attempt to look innocently surprised that produced one of the most unflattering photos ever snapped of a presidential candidate. Who the hell is advising Clinton on how to handle this scandal, and can Republicans buy him or her a drink?
Hillary goes to Vegas, loses big with performance at press conference
Even normally supportive liberal pundits were appalled at her performance. Ron Fournier of the National Journal, who has known and been fond of the Clintons since covering them in Little Rock, counted six separate lies, evasions, and mis-directions in appearances on Fox News and MSNBC. Even Chris Matthews was shocked, discussing the presser on MSNBC’s Morning Joe this morning.
Bloomberg’s Halperin: Clinton Joking About Her Email Scandal Is “A Big Mistake”
Fox News’ Ed Henry Rattles Hillary at Shaky Press Conference: ‘Did You Wipe the Server Clean?’
THIS IS WHY SHE DOESN’T ANSWER QUESTIONS.
“Look, Ed, I take responsibility,” Clinton replied. “In retrospect, this didn’t turn out to be convenient at all and I regret that this has become such a cause celebre. But that does not change the facts. The facts are stubborn – what I did was legally permitted
http://nation.foxnews.com/2015/08/18/fox-news-rattles-hillary-shaky-press-conference-did-you-wipe-server-clean
YOU’RE IN TROUBLE, RIGHT? YOU NEED SUPPORT, RIGHT? HERE’S HOW YOU FOMENT GOOD WILL:
Wow. Hillary refuses to hug supporter.
During a rally Tuesday a top supporter told Hillary she came to the rally to give her a hug from Sen. Cory Booker.
Hillary told her to sit down and she would hug her later.
FBI: Yep, We Can Recover Data on Clinton’s Server “Someone” Tried to Delete
We learned yesterday that the technology firm Clinton hired to host her server, again carrying top secret classified information, was stored in a bathroom closet in Colorado. Clinton had previously claimed her use of a private server was fine because it was a) set up for President Bill Clinton b) protected by the Secret Service (it wasn’t). Last week we learned Clinton once asked for a book about how to delete emails and how to make sure they “stay deleted.” Over the weekend, Clinton made a terrible “joke” about how she loves SnapChat because “those messages disappear all by themselves.”
MSNBC: Clinton Telling Supporters “Don’t Wet The Bed” Over E-Mail Controversy
DOES SHE SOUND WORRIED?
Clinton Refuses To Say Whether Or Not She Wiped The Server
THEY’VE MADE MORE THAN $100 MILLION IN THE PAST FEW YEARS.
SHE GIVES HER INTERNS FREE COFFEE INSTEAD OF PAYING THEM.
NOW THIS:
Hillary Clinton 2016: Campaign wants donors to pay for their own food, parking
The request, released publicly by the FEC on Tuesday afternoon, sketches out a novel accounting plan under which the Clinton campaign would shift some fundraising costs to donors, without counting against their contribution limits.
THERE’S NOTHING WORSE THAN A CHEAP CROOK.
Still, at least one campaign finance watchdog warned that the request could open the door for campaigns to offload all manner of other expenses to deep-pocketed supporters, allowing them to provide more assistance to candidates than envisioned by federal contribution limits.
The Shrug Heard Round the World: Hillary Clinton Jokes About Wiping Email Server ‘with a Cloth’
After a townhall appearance in Las Vegas, Hillary Clinton was asked if she had attempted to “wipe” her server. She replied, “What, like, with a cloth or something?”
Ed Henry asked. Hillary replied, “Well, my personal emails are my personal business.” Hillary then repeated her claim, made since March, that her staff went through a “painstaking” process to identify any work-related emails and turned those over to the State Department.
When Henry suggested, “You know how it works digitally,” Hillary denied it, saying, “I don’t know how it works digitally at all.” Hillary then suggested questions about the contents of the server would be for “the people investigating it to try and figure out.” She did not mention the FBI directly.
YA GOTTA SEE THIS:
http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2015/08/18/the-shrug-heard-round-the-world-hillary-clinton-jokes-about-wiping-email-server-with-a-cloth/
Judge Nap: ‘Gut Feeling Is Hillary Will Be Charged Over Private Emails’
Judge Andrew Napolitano said today his “gut” feeling is that the Justice Department will end up bringing charges against Hillary Clinton over private emails that contained classified information.
There are now reportedly more than 300 emails that have been flagged as potentially classified. The number could grow as federal agents continue to go through the trove of documents.
http://insider.foxnews.com/2015/08/18/will-hillary-clinton-be-charged-obama-justice-department-private-email-scandal
FINALLY, FROM STILTON:
Seriously, why isn’t this woman already being held in custody instead of making jokes like “you may have seen that I recently launched a Snapchat account. I love it. I love it. Those messages disappear all by themselves.” Hardy-har-har! Doing irreparable harm to our nation’s security is funny, right?
But not as funny as Hillary’s promise, in the same speech in Iowa, that “I will do my part to bring transparency to Americans.” Seriously, isn’t that the kind of lie which is supposed to cause people to burst into flames or be struck by lightning? Or, preferably, both?
Frustratingly, it seems to Hope n’ Change that genuine evil happily floats atop waves of ignorance in much the same way that a toxic oil slick floats atop water – not incidentally choking the life out of everything below.
And speaking of water, we think it’s high time to take the fluoride out and put a buttload of caffeine in. Because Americans are showing no signs of waking up in the near future.
http://hopenchangecartoons.blogspot.com/2015/08/fair-warning.html
NOW WE CAN GET TO THE REST OF THE NEWS
Filed under Hillary Clinton
polination.blog 