Author Archives: Pistol Pete

Posted by Pistol Pete

Following the birth of a child there are at least three significant milestones in their lives that caring parents/grandparents look forward to:

1. graduation

2. marriage

3. the birth of their first child.

Our granddaughter Jessica is 18 years old.

She is not married.

She is not pregnant (so we haven’t had to bail her dad out of jail yet).

She did finish her studies and will be receiving her diploma tomorrow. Things did not come as easily for her as it did for some of us,but she persevered and reached her goal. We are so looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. She’s always had a penchant for dyeing her hair neon colors like electric blue,bubble gum pink and Obama-lips purple. Hopefully her hair is its natural color tomorrow. Time will tell.

Mindful recalled a grannyism yesterday and I got to thinking its been awhile.

Typical conversation at Granny’s would be as follows:

‘Granny,I want a dollar.’

‘People in hell want ice water.’

‘Will you drive me to the store?’

‘Walking ain’t crowded.’

‘I want chicken for supper instead of pork chops.’

‘There are two choices on the menu every night…take it…leave it. I’m not running a restaurant. Supper’s at six. If you’re here you eat. If you’re not you don’t. It’s not complicated.’

‘You must be twins because one person can’t be that stupid.’

‘I’ll be switched and the hay ain’t pitched.’

‘I’ll slap you so hard your kids will be born dizzy.’

‘If wishes were horses beggars would ride.’

‘How come there are so many more horse’s asses than there are horses?’

(that one was grampa’s)

This was just how granny showed she loved us without getting too emotional.

In all my years with her I only heard her drop the F-bomb once…but that’s another story.

SOME OF THESE PUNS ARE FUNNY; SOME ARE JUST REALLY WRONG

Posted by Pistol Pete

A note to my friend Jane Dough:

One of the features of the internet is that anyone can hide behind the anonymity of a monitor and live their Walter Mitty-like fantasies. I could claim to be a 25 year old,6’2″ mountain of molten lust. Unfortunately,regular visitors here know I’m a 63 year old,pot-bellied diabetic with a pacemaker and severe emphysema and sleep apnea. I may be ashamed of some of the things I’ve done in the past but I’m not ashamed of who I am.

Over the years I’ve had hundreds and hundreds of acquaintances but precious few friends. This blog is the extent of my ‘social networking.’

Chrissy and I put a great deal of time and effort into posting here because it’s a way to connect with others. We get paid nothing. It’s a labor of love and our reward is when people come back to visit or add something to the conversation when they’re so moved. It’s our way of feeling like we can make a difference,albeit a small one. CtH is a master of graphics and articles of faith. I can only copy and paste links to inform,entertain,outrage and sometimes I can make a comment that’s snarky or funny.

GP,Ting and I go all the way back to the old Hillbuzz days and later at M4U. They’ve seen me at my best and as close to the bottom as you can get and still be above ground.  Since coming here I’ve gotten close to Chrissy and BoB and I’ll cherish their friendship forever.

I probably would not get in a democrats’ face because here in Illinois Dems run the state from top to bottom so neither party wastes much time or money here. The entire state is red but Cook County controls all the power and takes our taxes to feed the public union beast. It’s been that way pretty much since the days of Big Bill Thompson in the 1920’s.

I came from a rural community,hate big cities,traffic and big crowds. I would never instigate a confrontation but as I get older I find I care less and less what people think. I know who and what I am and I have few regrets.

Individually we can do nothing to change things,but together maybe we can hold on to the freedoms we took for granted for so long that are being stripped away for a little longer. That’s why I do this.

IS HE TOAST YET?

Pics of The Day: Mooch Gets Her Groove On…

U.S. first lady Michelle Obama dances with students from turn around schools during a talent show at the East Room of the White House May 20, 2014 in Washington, DC. President Obamas Committee on the Arts and the Humanities held the first-ever White House Talent Show featuring performances by major artists and showcase the talents of students from schools participating in the Turnaround Arts program which helps to turn around low-performing schools and increase student achievement through arts education.

IF THEY’RE SO WORRIED ABOUT STUDENT ACHIEVEMENT,WHY DO THEY KILL EVERY CHARTER PROGRAM TO LIFT POOR KIDS OUT OF A FAILED SYSTEM?

ARE WE PAYING FOR TALENT SHOWS IN THE PEOPLES’ HOUSE NOW??

Answer:they don’t give a damn. The teachers’ union calls the tune and they dance to it.

Posted by Pistol Pete

A few results from yesterday’s republican primaries:

Mitch McConnel(RINO-KY) crushed a poorly vetted and underfunded Matt Bevin.

In Ga.,former Dollar General CEO Dave Perdue will face Rep. Jack Kingston in a runoff.

In Idaho,Boehner ally used millions in corporate money to bury Tea Party candidate Bryan Smith.

In Oregon,Monica Wehby survived a last-week assault from dems about her being accused of beating up her ex and stalking another boyfriend.

All I heard all morning on the radio and over much of the ‘net doing my research was the left creaming their jeans over the demise of the conservative movement. They could scarcely contain their euphoria. As far as I’m concerned the GOP-e has their big corporate donors that they plan to pass amnesty for,so they don’t need us. So be it.

Barry went before the cameras to empathize with the families of the vets who died waiting for care. He said he was really upset and he would punish any wrongdoers. Then he gave a ringing endorsement to his VA director,Eric Shinseki. I’m including a link plus a short youtube (there is one of his whole speech,but nobody here could endure immersion in massive quantities of self-serving bullshit).

TODAY I’M GRABBING 600,000 ACRES IN SOUTHERN NEW MEXICO AND DESIGNATING IT AS A NATIONAL MONUMENT SO THE RANCHERS WILL BE CUT OFF,THERE WILL BE NO OIL EXPLORATION AND IT’S A PERFECT CORRIDOR FOR THE MILLIONS OF NEW DEMOCRAT VOTERS AND THEIR DRUGS TO GET IN HERE. AND THERE’S NOT A DAMN THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!!

Posted by Pistol Pete

This is so frustrating. Any other human in the country would be appalled by the way the VA has treated veterans,establishing what are effectively death panels by delaying care until it’s too late. But not this assclown. He does photo ops,fundraises and plays golf and has a general all-around good time like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Essentially,he doesn’t. He got reelected,he’s not going anywhere, so the little people can just piss off. What does he care about a bunch of veterans who probably just enlisted to kill people anyway? The media are trying to criticize him a little,but he’s ignored them after they stopped being useful to him. Rush righly said ths VA scandal is a preview of life…and death under Obamacare.

The 70th anniversary of D-Day is a few weeks off. A very few veterans have survived and they would like to visit the comrades they left there. The nation of France refuses to pay for their trip. This is my outrage of the day. Tens of thousands of Americans, Canadians, British, and Australians  laid their lives down to free France. Now these cheese-eating surrender monkeys are so petty they won’t even pay for those who made the sacrifice to visit one last time.

With Memorial Day a few days off this really sticks in my craw.

I honestly weep when I think about these heroes who will all be gone soon.

http://suckersonparade.blogspot.com/2014/05/french-government-refuses-to-fly-us.html#.U3uMeyxOUdU

Posted by Pistol Pete

What a beautiful weekend!

Dateline: Roy Gayle Baseball Park,Sat.,May 17:

The Lonnie’s Stone Cutters ballclub pulled out a thrilling 5-4 win,led by leftfielder RJ Pistol III. The crowd included his mom,dad,stepdad,2 grammas,grampa and 3 sisters. It has been said (I think by me) that a hot dog just doesn’t taste right unless there’s a ball game in front of it. Maybe I’m just a stingy old curmudgeon,but when I went to the concession stand,they wanted $3.50 for a hot dog,$1.50 for a cup of soda or bottle of water and $1.50 for a bag of chips. Who ever set the prices is obviously a democrat out to soak “the rich.” We decided to get some franks and dogs and have a cookout at DD’s house,with SIL and I scorching the meat while the womenfolk whomped up some tater salad and baked beans. We had a great time talking about nothing in particular for hours.

Our county fairgrounds hosts a huge flea market twice a year and we hadn’t been there for at least 6 years. We decided to go Sunday,being a warm,sunny day and DW deserved to do a little shopping somewhere besides WalMart. She always seeks out an Avon dealer who exhibites there and buys all the Imari fragrance she has. She also bought some crafts,some new cutlery and a bottle of honey from a bee farm from a neighboring town. I’m surprised you can still get farm products without a board of health permit or some kind of bureaucratic nonsense.

What I really enjoy about going to the fairground is the abundance of food available. You can find funnel cakes, egg rolls, corn dogs, pizza, meatball sandwiches, and ice cream in handmade waffle cones among other items. There is a food trailer that sets up from a meat packing company in another township that has to-die-for pulled pork sandwiches and grills pork chops and sausages on a spit behind the trailer. I came home and took a nice nap,fully satisfied with a tummy full of barbecued pork.

Then I got up and started researching items for today’s post. What a buzzkill. I hadn’t given anything political a thought for days and,sadly,not much had changed. Time to change into my cynical suit and wade hip-deep into the corruption,depravity and fraud that is today’s body politic.

THIS IS A STILL FROM THE KLINTOONS SCREEN TEST FOR ‘WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S IV.’

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD DOING THE BUTT SLIDE AT THE SHAKE SHACK IN D.C.  AIN’T HE THE COOLEST?

A GAGGLE OF TALENTLESS SHREWS WHO,THANKFULLY,HAVE NOT PRODUCED TOO MANY OFFSPRING SINCE THEIR CAREERS ALWAYS CAME FIRST. NOTICE THERE ARE NO WOMEN FROM FOX,THE NETWORK THAT CRUSHES THE OTHERS IN THE RATINGS ON A DAILY BASIS. THEY’RE TOO PRETTY TO BE SEEN WITH THESE CRONES ANYWAY.

THIS TALENTLESS WHORE FINALLY GOT OFF HER BACK AND DECIDED TO RUN FOR THE CALIFORNIA STATE SENATE. SHE BRAGS ABOUT BEATING LIMBAUGH,EVEN THOUGH HE’S STILL AS POPULAR AS EVER. BUT THEN LIBERALS NEVER LET THE TRUTH GET IN THEIR WAY,DO THEY?

SORRY,GRUNT:

WORTHLESS PILE OF SHIT SKIPPED ARMED SERVICES DAY,CELEBRATED ANTI-HOMOPHOBIC,TRANSOPHOBIC  FESTIVITIES

Posted by Pistol Pete

Hoping for decent weather tomorrow…they’re calling for temps in the upper 40’s/lower 59’s. We’re planning to go to the big complex where kids play on multiple baseball diamonds. My grandson is playing there at 9:30 and his sister is playing on a different field at 11:30. Really looking forward to it.

I’d like to thank you for the kind words yesterday. It was appreciated more than you know.

I want to apologize in advance to Grunt…I don’t go looking for bizarre pictures of Killary,they just show up,and like a train wreck you just can’t avert your eyes.

A couple things before we get to the silliness.

Baba Wawa filmed her last episode of The Leftist View yesterday before she formally retires to spend her days counting her money and pretending she’s still relevant. A gaggle of A-listers showed up to do the fake hug and kissy thing including the Butcher of Benghazi and the most powerful man in the country,Orca Windpasser.

Speaking of Orca,she’s being sued by a man in Telluride,Colorado whose property is next to the 66 acres she bought for $10.5 million and plans to close access to ski trails that have been used by thousands for many years. I imagine Barry has his BLM army at the ready if she needs them.

Once again we find this regime is conspiring to cover up yet another atrocity concerning veterans on a secret list that are dying before they get treatment. Jake Tapper tried to get a straight answer out of a Spite House spokespuke yesterday and got the same self-serving gibberish we’ve come to expect from this bag of bastards.

It’s looking more and more like the dems will be able to whine about global warming and racism while the republicans push to exterminate themselves by passing amnesty to please their big corporate donors who only want cheap labor. We have a golden opportunity this November but I can promise if they push this immigration crap through many millions like me will stay home. Then we start working on our own party.

OK,now that I’ve depressed everybody,let’s get to the good stuff.

If our foreign policy in WWII was fought with hashtags:

Washerwoman had to pry another reporter off Obama’s ass.

MEANWHILE,AT CASA PISTOLA:

Posted by Pistol Pete

From Diogenes’ Middle Finger:

The Reinvigorated Thought Police

In the space of just a few weeks, the quality of American freedom has been cheapened and its future made uncertain by a renewed assault of left-wingers bent on having their own way and running roughshod over all other opinions in the process.

This intolerance is political. It is issue-driven. It is meant to ensure a leftist agenda prevails despite legality, logic or popular support. They often exaggerate their claims of support by quoting phony polls and statistics said to reinforce their views.

Despite liberal declarations in 2008 that America was entering a “post-racial” era, the race card seems to be played more than every. Free speech through political contributions (from conservatives, at least) is under fire even though the U.S. Supreme Court, for one, continues to invalidate onerous campaign finance restrictions.  Americans who have spoken out on the issues of traditional marriage have found themselves attacked, protested and forced out of public and private positions they have earned on merit because they dare to hold views counter to the mob.

These leftist have sought to imprint their opinions on America through the media, public institutions and schools. Anyone who is found to hold beliefs counter to theirs are smeared as racist, traditionalist, sexist or homophobic because what this evil minority has not yet been able to do is stop the exchange of ideas that Americans have come to appreciate and is still guaranteed by our Constitution.

Posted by Pistol Pete

NOTHING HAPPENED TODAY.

CONSIDER THIS AN OPEN THREAD.

MY BIBLE WON’T BE SIGNED UNTIL I MEET JESUS IN THE EVERLASTING

Posted by Pistol Pete

Just another day in paradise.

Posted by Pistol Pete

Hope everybody had a great Mother’s Day.

I’ve always found a marked difference between the significance of Mother’s Day and the relative inconsequence of Father’s Day. My kids used to steal my change when I left it on the table and put it in a jar until Mother’s Day came around. Then they’d bring me the jar full of money they stole from me and wanted paper money so they could by mama a present! I didn’t really care. After all,they were (still are) my kids.

Then Father’s Day came around they’d ask me for two bucks to buy me a pack of cigarettes. They weren’t even my brand and they smoked half of them on the way home from the store! (Just kidding…..they were my brand.)

MOOCH GAVE THE WEEKLY ADDRESS ON SATURDAY AND WHINED ABOUT BOKO HARAM KIDNAPPING ALMOST 300 SCHOOLGIRLS.

THIS IS THE EXTENT OF OUTRAGE FROM BARRY,WOOKIE AND ALL THEIR MILLIONAIRE FRIENDS;

I won’t waste your time by posting the youtube of her whiny-ass speech.She never once mentioned terrorism or Boko Haram.

THIS IS THE WARM,FUZZY SOCIAL CLUB KNOWN AS BOKO HARAM. THEY LIKE TO GO INTO CHURCHES AND OPEN FIRE WITH MACHINE GUNS OR LOCK EVERYBODY INSIDE AND BURN THEM ALIVE. 90% OF THE GIRLS THEY KIDNAP ARE CHRISTIANS. THE MUSLIM GIRLS ARE RELEASED. IF THE CHRISTIAN GIRLS DON’T CONVERT TO ISLAM THEY GET THEIR THROATS SLICED. MANY OF THOSE THEY’VE TAKEN HAVE ALREADY BEEN SOLD AS WIVES AND SEX SLAVES TO JIHADISTS. DO YOU THINK A BUNCH OF RICH FOLK HOLDING UP SIGNS ARE GOING TO FAZE THEM?

The NFL held their annual college draft last week. There were 256 players drafted. The first player was a defensive tackle from South Carolina named Jadaveon Clowney. The guy is a freak of nature. He’s really big,really strong, and really fast. Nobody is talking about him. Everybody is consumed with talking about player #249,a tackle from Missouri named Michael Sam. He has marginal skills and is unlikely to make the team on his own merit. There’s a catch…he’s the first openly gay player ever drafted. Even Bozo called to congratulate him. To celebrate,he kissed his boyfriend on live TV and then they jetted off to Las Vegas to celebrate.

Don Jones,who plays for the Miami Dolphins,tweeted: OMG…I can’t believe they showed that on live TV. He has been fined and banished from the team facility until he undergoes sensitivity training. I wish it were a joke…it’s not.

Weeper-of-the-House Orange Slush has indicated he won’t send the capitol police to arrest Lois Lerner,even though he has the right to. Just to let the left know he won’t allow anything to happen to his liberal buddies,despite his empty talk.

(actually I only posted this here so I could use my angry cat pic:)