Author Archives: Pistol Pete

PETE’S PAGE; ST. PADDY’S DAY EDITION

Posted by Pistol Pete

After my granddad retired,granny got so irritated having him underfoot when she was trying to do her housework,she advised him to find something to do or the consquences would be dire. He got a part-time job at a place called O’Keefe’s Tavern. He recalled how St. Patrick’s Day was like Christmas,New Years and July 4th rolled into one. Free corned beef and green beer can do that. They had a moose head that hung on the wall some 12 feet in the air. It disappeared once and ended up being returned after somebody sobered up and figured out where it came from. Fortunately we Swedes are a bit more reserved.

FOR DW,AN INCURABLE BOOP-A-HOLIC

YOU HAVE A FILTHY MIND

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PETE’S PAGE; FRIDAY FUNDAY

Posted by Pistol Pete

Survived another week of lies.hypocrisy and treachery by the people who purport to represent us.

I don’t think I have any links today with references to penises or breasts. But I can’t remember,because I’m senile and cynical….the best of both worlds.

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

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MEET SARAH SQUIRREL;THE BADASS LITTLE TEA PARTIER
(I thought Chrissy’d like this since she likes the l’il critters)
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meanwhile
Reptiles can regrow appendages,right??
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WET HAIR FIRST
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ClintWeekend
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PETE’S PAGE; THURSDAY EDITION

Posted by Pistol Pete

Feeling a bit schizophrenic today. Be prepared.

POLICE BLOTTER

Minneapolis:

32 yr old man punches 8 year old in the face to steal his I-pad

http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2014/03/12/good-samaritan-chased-down-scum-of-the-earth-who-punched-boy-stole-his-ipad/

Ex-soldier, 34, on trial for killing his five-year-old daughter, ‘kicked her so hard he left a boot imprint on her chest’

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2579174/Ex-soldier-34-trial-killing-5-year-old-daughter-kicked-hard-boot-imprint-left-chest.html

Pregnant woman gang-raped in vicious Wisconsin home invasion

Savagely beat woman’s blind husband;possibly went to burglarize wrong house

Read more:  http://dailycaller.com/2014/03/13/horror-pregnant-woman-gang-raped-in-vicious-wisconsin-home-invasion/#ixzz2vrci8hxh

Montgomery,Al.: Two 19 year old Taco Bell employees beat woman manager with tire iron before shooting her in the head and dumping her behind restaurant.

http://atlanta.cbslocal.com/2014/03/12/police-2-employees-shot-manager-multiple-times-dumped-her-body-behind-taco-bell/

NOW TRY TO GUESS WHAT THEY ALL HAVE IN COMMON

OMG!SOMEBODY DONE SHOT BILL MAHER!

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PETE’S PAGE; WEDNESDAY DITION

Posted by Pistol Pete

Had to do some errands this AM;came home and started checking for late-breaking news and,suddenly,holy crap! It’s getting late.

It reminds me of a sign a research and development engineer friend had on his desk:

There comes a time in the history of every project when it becomes necessary to shoot the engineers and begin production.

It happens when you overthink things.

Got some good stuff today…hope you enjoy.

OUR WORKAHOLIC PREEZY SPENT THE WEEKEND IN KEY LARGO GOLFING,GOT HOME IN TIME TO HOBKNOB WITH THE NCAA MEN’S BASKETBALL CHAMPS AND YESTERDAY,WHILE IN NEW YORK TO LIFT MORE MONEY OFF PEOPLE WITH WAY MORE CASH THAN SENSE, HE STOPPED IN AT THE GAP TO FIND STUFF FOR HIS BROOD MARE AND OFFSPRING. THE PINK SWEATER IS PROBABLY FOR HIM.

BARRY WAS BAFFLED BY THE CREDIT CARD MACHINE. HE DOESN’T HAVE MUCH EXPERIENCE PAYING FOR THINGS HIMSELF.

I WOULD REFER TO IT AS STULTIFYING ARROGANCE RATHER THAN PRIDE.

GOD,I MISS W.,EVEN WITH ALL HIS FAULTS

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PETE’S PAGE; TUESDAY EDITION

Posted by Pistol Pete

One more week of non-stop political ads on TV and radio until I can proudly exercise my rights as a citizen to go and cast an intelligent,informed vote to cancel out one of the winos that the union thugs grab from homeless shelters and drive to various polling places to vote for the ‘D’ for a pack of cigarettes. Lord knows how much longer we’ll be allowed free elections…they stopped being fair long ago.

What the hell….they be free

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PETE’S PAGE; MONDAY EDITION

Posted by Pistol Pete

FINALLY the weather has broken a bit and we’re looking at temps in the ’40s and perhaps 50 by the end of the week. Yesterday I saw that the coyote that lives in the woods behind our house either has a mate or an offspring. It does my heart good to see some signs of life after such a miserable winter.

In an all-too-familiar pose,the Pretender-in-Chief squeezes in another round of golf(his 165th)before having to leave the $2500/night resort in Key Largo to be dragged kicking and screaming back to DC.

FEELS LIKE A LOT LONGER THAN THAT

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PETE’S PAGE; FRIDAY FUNHOUSE

Posted by Pistol Pete

A little late getting started;DW was playing online solitaire (such is the life of the idle rich/retirees). I can see the monitor from my recliner,and most of the time she plays like crap. I love her anyway.

Assemblyman William Boyland (D-Brooklyn) has been convicted on all 21 counts in his corruption trial.  Boyland now faces up to 30 years in prison for various crimes such as falsifying records, mail fraud, soliciting bribes, and a poor selection of mistresses.

Alright, I totally made that last one up.  Even though Ry-Ann Hermon, Boyland’s former Chief of Staff and mistress provided testimony that helped bring him down.  She testified that Boyland used campaign cash for Yoga classes for the couple, as well as accepting her own cash bribe which she said, and I quote, “made me hot.”

Hermon was arrested along with Boyland, but copped a plea in which she was able to testify against him

Read more at http://iowntheworld.com/blog/?p=227863#WXdgKhSKV1zHZmt9.99

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Notice he’s wearing his role models’ hat.
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Can you guess why this handsome gentleman was arrested?
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a. urinated in an open police car window
b. tried to shoplift a car battery from WalMart
c. tried to have sex with a pit bull
d. was caught sniffing childrens’ bicycle seats
e. dug up a corpse to have sex with,claiming it was part of his thesis on necrophilia
ANSWER IN COMMENT SECTION
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thR0GAYUNN
Hey Grunt:
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tgif-cat

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PETE’S PAGE; THURSDAY EDITION

posted by Pistol Pete

First,prayers of thanks to Almighty God for keeping Shalini and her tiny miracle in His loving hands. Amen.

This is from Diogenes’ Middle Finger:

Ohh…look… the Left is Insulted Again.

Well, interestingly, it was patriotic to burn Bush in effigy right outside his own friggin’ ranch; but if you even hold up a picket sign with Obama’s face on it, you are branded a racist extremist.
It was seen as patriotic to throw jars of piss as the president’s car when it was Bush, but if you protest an Obama policy, then you are put on a watch list.
It was seen as the height of intellectual activity to stand naked in a cage and pour oil or fake blood all over yourself, or to rip the flags from VFW posts and burn them in the street when Bush was in office. But if you wear a tri-corn hat to a rally these days, you are assumed a racist and a potential terrorist.
So, please excuse me if I question the suddenly found nobility of the left and self-proclaimed moderates who said nothing while businesses were trashed, while the president was busy attempting to race bait us all into a civil war, or his operatives were fueling that complete lie that was Occupy.
Please forgive me if having watched the behavior of the left for the last 16 years, turn into a mild reminiscence of Planet of the Apes, while the right is increasingly demonized and criminalization all the way to the point of the abuse of regulatory law, causes me to feel a little flash of bile in my throat.
The Left has always been the epitome of panty-waisted, butt hurtedness. No matter what time period it is, they’re always crying and wailing. Either they bitch because they’re not in power and being oppressed or they are in power and crying like feminist supporting, domestic violence abused girly-men because someone with a free mind dares to question their hypocritical lunacy.
Once you start viewing them for what they really are—little more than failed rodeo clowns—they aren’t near as aggravating.
It just seemed appropriate.THIS IS A MAP OF THE JUST-HELD PRIMARY IN TEXAS.THERE ARE 22 COUNTIES WHERE ABORTION BARBIE DIDN’T GARNER A SINGLE VOTE

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PETE’S PAGE; WEDNESDAY EDITION

Posted by Pistol Pete

A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

W. C. Fields

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PETE’S PAGE; MONDAY EDITION

Posted by Pistol Pete

To make sense of what’s going on in Europe,you must first understand Obama the way the genuine tyrants of the world know him to be. He has ducked responsibility for everything his entire life. It’s like being hired to do a job and hiding in the bathroom all day,only coming out for lunch and quitting time….and complaining how hard you worked. And working on his acceptance speech for his expected employee of the month award.

He got his state senate seat by getting his opponents’ nominating petitions tossed out for invalid signatures and his US Senate seat by getting sealed divorce records opened to blackmail the republican who was poised to defeat him. While in the state senate he never authored a single bill. The senate majority leader, Emil Phillips, wrote a couple minor pieces for him to put his name on. The rest of the time he always voted ‘present’ so as not to be pinned down on anything. He  had to spend millions to hide his college transcripts for a reason. Likely he never did anything significant and skated by because he was black. As head of the Harvard Law Review,he never wrote a single word we’ve been allowed to see. We have seen some of the Wookie’s writings and even then she oozed racial fury and white hatred.

If we know this,Putin surely knew it. He was smart enough to wait until after Barky became ‘more flexible’ before planning his takeover of Eastern Europe. Even Hamid Karzai,who is so corrupt he’d make a democrat senator green with envy, is thumbing his nose at Jugears. The surrender-monkey-in-charge has already announced he’s cutting and running from Afghanistan and Karzai has already made some kind of deal with the Taliban when they rush in after we pull out. Between Iraq and Afghanistan we’ve spent a lot of blood and treasure to see this filth make the sacrifice worthless because he has no guts and doesn’t care about anything but his own good time.

Bill Clinton’s controversial couplings has reached a new level after he was pictured spending time with prostitutes at a recent charity event. The former President was in Los Angeles on Thursday and photographed with two female attendees who work as legal prostitutes in Nevada. Identified as Ava Adora and Barbie Girl by TMZ, both of the women are known to work at the Bunny Ranch brothel near Carson City.

The Crooked Penis is salivating at getting back into the Spite house so the taxpayers can foot the bill for his whoring.

BARKY SENT OUT THIS TWEET COMMEMORATING THE 95TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE GRAND CANYON NATIONAL PARK.WHAT ELSE DID YOU EXPECT TO SEE?

THIS IS A REAL FLOAT THAT WILL APPEAR IN THE MARDI GRAS PARADE THIS WEEK.

Apparently,not everyones in N’Awlins is that into Dear Reader anymore

THIS SELFIE OF A PACK OF SELF-IMPORTANT,OVERINDULGED,OVERPAID WEENIES SET A RECORD FOR RETWEETS AT THE OSCARS LAST NIGHT.

Wait till you see what the nominees got in their goodie bags.

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