Author Archives: Pistol Pete

Posted by Pistol Pete

Nineteen years ago I decided to stop trying to make so many women happy and concentrate on making one woman miserable.I have not regretted my choice for a moment.She’s not much for candy or flowers because we frankly can’t afford them.She does,however still enjoy a foot massage while we’re watching TV on the couch.We are so in tune,we usually know what the other one is thinking.I tell people she never worries about me flirting,because I could be arrested for assault with a dead weapon.She told me she fell for me because I made her laugh.Don’t know where she got that idea.

I never watch any of these TV award shows,because they’re nothing but a bunch of people making a lot of money pretending to be somebody else.I heard on the radio this morning that Mooch presented the Oscar for best picture by remote.I thought, ‘Sweet Jesus,can’t we ever get away from these people EVER?’

Added by CtH: Tweeters are having fun listing where Mooch will appear next @ https://twitter.com/search?q=%23NextMichelleObamaAppearance&src=hash … I’d blog the best, but I’m having a bad day. Prayers would come in handy. I really feel awful.

THIS IS CLASS

THIS IS CRASS

That grinning,arrogant,in-your-face,look at all the cool shit I get to do attitude is even wearing out the press.I saw an item this morning that someone in the press pool heard loud groaning when they first caught sight of Bigmouth.

Posted by Pistol Pete

A little bit of politics,a little bit of peculiar stuff and some videos.What more could you ask for?

Posted by Pistol Pete

I’ve been meaning to post for the last few days but never seemed to get around to it.I’ve kept up with the news online as best I could,but the stupidity is ceaseless.I’ll try to post some of the more interesting things I’ve gathered because I do tend to go on when things get out of hand.I do have some interesting non-political items,which I think we all like,just for a change.

EYE BLEACH ALERT IN 3…2…1

NEW OFFICIAL PORTRAIT OF THE WATER BUFFALO

WHOEVER DID THIS SCULPTURE OF BIGFOOT MADE IT LOOK SO LIFELIKE…SHAG HAIRCUT AND ALL

CHRISSY’S NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH CAT AND DOG PICTURES

Posted by Pistol Pete

DW is coming home today.I have to start making the bed again and I put off getting groceries for two days so I gotta do it soon.She left me a list,which is helpful.The difference when I shop alone and when we go together is that like a lot of women,a lot of things end up in the cart that weren’t on the list.Before I met her,I asked DD to help me with my Christmas shopping.We went to the mall,I gave her my list and my card and settled in to wait.Two hours later,she showed up with two little packages.

‘That’s all you bought?’

‘Dad,that’s the difference between men and women–women shop,men buy.’

It’s true.We men go to a store,we know what we want,we buy it and we’re gone.Maybe that’s why lionesses do all the hunting.They have the patience we lack.

Posted by Pistol Pete

Happy Valentine’s day to all.Sadly,after nearly 20 years of marriage,DW has left me.She’s going to stay with her dad.

She’s threatened to come back Saturday.Dammit.

What is it about women that once they become a mother they never lose the instinct?Before she left,she emptied the dishwasher so she wouldn’t come home to a sinkful of dishes.She put enough TV dinnners,pot pies,soup,canned pasta,leftover barbeque beef and tuna casserole in the fridge to last two weeks.She also leaves post-it notes around like:put socks in laundry basket,set the alarm clock,lock the door,etc.I swear she must not think I managed before I met her.I don’t complain,though.I’m too afraid of making her mad.People think I’m kidding when I tell them I’d rather shave a bobcat’s ass in a phone booth than to make her angry.I’m not.

ADDED BY CTH WHO WASN’T GOING TO DO ANYTHING SNARKY FOR VALENTINE’S DAY, BUT PETE STARTED IT SO THERE!!!!

Posted by Pistol Pete

There is much crammed into my brain that I need to purge before i take my usual 3-4 hour morning nap.I reserve the right to revise and extend my remarks with each news item.

FEDERICA WILSON HAS CONVINCED HRSELF SHE’S THE BLACK DALE EVANS

Tomorrow is the State of the Union lie-a-thon.I am looking forward to it as much as one waits for the dentist to come in the room when you’re waiting for a root canal.It will be the same phony tripe as every year.Jobs,climate change,education,gun control,amnesty,taxing anything that moves.Nazi Pelousy has hand-picked a human prop from Sandy Hook and other dems always have a stable of victims at hand to hold up to show how much they ‘care.’

The mother of Hadiyah Pendleton,the young girl who was gunned down last week in Chicago, is Barry’s special guest.One wonders how that makes the families of the dozens of other families who have a member slaughtered in Chicago every week feel?

THE PREFERRED DRINK OF OBAMABOTS

KEEP SMILING

Posted by Pistol Pete

I really,really try to find positive,uplifting news to bring you,but sometimes it’s really hard to find…like a liberal who will pay for anything out of his own pocket.There are some good videos today,hope you have time to check out a few.At least enjoy the funny pictures.

THERE IS AN HONEST-TO-GOODNESS OBAMA SKEETER IN CHIEF DOLL ON SALE FOR $19.95.YOU KNEW IT HAD TO HAPPEN.