Category Archives: Funny Stuff

Posted by Pistol Pete

In accordance with edict#754 by emperor Barack Hussein Obama I (all praise his name) the term “black” is hereby banished from the realm.

Examples:

Afro-American-eyed peas

Afro-American widow spiders

Afro-American berry pie

Afro-American & Decker power tools

Bad Day at Afro-American Rock

Famous horse: Afro-American Beauty

As always,this edict is subject to change according to Emperor Obama’s whims.

So let it be written,so let it be done.

Hope everybody had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day. We went to DD’s and enjoyed visiting with family. Unfortunately,DD did NOT inherit her great-grandma’s cooking skills. The turkey dried out and was tough to chew and most everything was cold while we waited for stragglers. I didn’t say anything,obviously,but there are things she’ll learn in time. Granny told everybody when dinner would be ready. If you were there,you ate. If not,as they say in Siberia,tuffshitzski. She lives in a small town about 15 miles west of here and there are two WalMarts along the way. We came home around six and I could not imagine the crowds turning into mobs to buy some cheap Chinese crap. May I never get to a state where I would have to endure such madness for an electronic appliance that will be obsolete in 6 months.

ADDED BY CTH (who is actually still having trouble posting … it comes and goes):

I googled “afro wig” thinking I’d do a little funny to add to Pete’s big funny list above. Odd thing … nearly ALL of the models are white! So I was thinking maybe I’d snag an afro graphic and stick it on a spider, but then I remembered, we had that image already back when FLATUS was getting nominated for … well, you know. Anyway, then I stumbled on these Oprah images, which sorry, you’ll need brain bleach after this one, but if you don’t see them first, you won’t get the MAD Magazine version which is the best funny I’ve come up with to add to Pete’s list.

Posted by Pistol Pete

Lessee:

Obama raising money and making lame speeches…check

Pivoting for the 2,975th time to distract from the obamacare disaster…check

Granting Iran permission to prepare for thhe mass murder of Israelis and other opponents in the Middle East…check.

That about does it for the news.

The next couple days I’m going to intersperse political nuggets with some seasonal things.

DW went to see her dad today and will drive him to the eye doctors in Spring Green tomorrow before coming home. I need her to help me put the Thursday papers together,since it is by far the biggest paper of the year. With the Black Friday ads they can weigh up to 3 pounds.

My eldest called the other day to invite us to her ranchero for dinner Thursday,and since DW was going to cook for the two of us she jumped at the chance to let somebody else do it. She’s taking her corn casserole and a deep dish apple pie. My mouth is already watering. Tomorrow I’ll write about Thanksgiving on the farm some 50 years ago.

I NEVER DID CARE FOR DARK MEAT

Posted by Pistol Pete

This morning I said a prayer for the state of Israel. She will be facing some troubled times in the wake of The Obama administration betraying them to Iran and its nuclear ambitions. This reeks of the same kind of Jimmy Carter-brokered deal that Klintoon gave North Korea. In the first link is an article that says Obama has warned Israel and Saudi Arabia not to try to attack Iran without his permission.

The frightening thing to me is I don’t know if he’s so mentally unstable he actually believes he’s a king or if this is just for consumption by his political idolators. A case could be made that the lower his poll numbers slide the more power he tries to grab. We can make ourselves feel better that his poll numbers are bottoming out and the democrats will pay a price next year. Poll numbers don’t mean a thing because he’s going nowhere.

The democrats are threatening revolt of the Obamacare website isn’t fixed by Dec. 1. When it comes time to put up or shut up,they’ll shut up.

Boehner is assuring Barry he’ll get amnesty done before the end of the year. McConnell promised to let dems keep running the show even if the republicans were to gain a majority next year. He can do 4 fundraisers today,golf whenever he wishes, and feel secure knowing nobody’s going to stop him.

Happy Monday

No matter what,it always has to be about him

Posted by Pistol Pete

This is Friday Funday. I owe it to you,I will give it to you. My heart really isn’t in it,so don’t mind me if I rant a bit. I had planned on saying something about where I was when JFK was shot. I think we all remember. And how he would not even be welcome in today’s democrat party and how liberals constantly invoke his name and that of MLK,who was a republican, and the inherent hypocrisy therein.

But I’m still fuming about the naked power grab that happened yesterday. Those of you who are waiting for the GOP to regain the majority in the senate in 2014 can forget it. That traitorous bastard McConnell has already signaled if he becomes majority leader he will reinstate the filibuster rules so the dems can still call all the shots. There are 45 gop senators who had tens of millions of voters put them in office might as well have not even voted. McConnell said in a conference call sponsored by DC Rove that the tea party are the real bullies,calling out Cruz and Lee by name. He said the way you handle bullies is to punch them in the nose. If he doesn’t get primaried it doesn’t matter what else happens. They don’t give a shit about what happens to the people as long as they get theirs.

I got a statement from the hospital for charges that had been previously been turned in to Medicaid. I called the liason at the hospital and she said they lost the paperwork she’d hand-delivered to them and I needed my copies of the bills we turned in for payment. DW always put them in a folder,but she said she’d given them back to me because she couldn’t find them. I told her she should know better than to guve me that stuff because my desk is a disaster. She screamed ‘now you’re blaming me!’ With that she stormed out the door and off to her BFFs. She hasn’t been that mad in awhile. She’ll get over it….by supper,I hope.

Cross-posted from 4GFC

“‘Law’ is the sand they toss in your eyes before they kick you in the nuts and curb-stomp you.” – WRSA Reader

Onward and upward….sorta.

Traitous pig yanking off his master.”Would you like some lotion on that,Harry?”

BTW,did you know Barry just changed the date for the second round of cancellations of insurance notices delayed from April until Nov. 15… AFTER the mid-terms. Surprised? Shouldn’t be.

Posted by Pistol Pete

First,let me thank my buddy Chrissy for the WalMart thread. I left a joke reply about beating a 75 year old woman with my shoe over the last power cart. However,something that DID happen yesterday…a black man about my age stopped me in the grocery section. He had a few canned goods and a Bible with him and said as how he was living in his car,supporting 3 kids and had no money for food. After I politely refused he asked if I wanted him to pray for something. I should have asked him to pray for himself. I was a little uncomfortable turning him down,but at the checkout I heard he was all over the store asking for money. Management was looking for him because store policy forbids panhandlers. I have nothing against helping those less fortunate than we are,but I have a youtube of John Stossel to post today where he shows how lucrative begging can be.

FOR CHRISSY AND ALL CAT LOVERS

(loved the post yesterday…DW cracked up)

[CtH: Note to self: print the following in very large font on cardstock and post prominently above monitor … I WILL NOT EAT OR DRINK WHILE READING PETE’S POSTS!!! … I wonder if I can get a sinus infection from snorking yogurt.]

[CtH: Wow, somebody did an absolutely BRILLIANT job of screen grabbing for that. Stealing for Facebook. TYPP! (Thank You, Pistol Pete!)]

[CtH google translated: “The Law Is What I Say It Is”]

Howzabout a fish fry?This is a rare long-nosed chimaera,only the second ever caught. It was snagged in 3,000 feet of water off the northern coast of Canada. It’s almost as ugly as Henry Waxman. The noses are of similar dimensions.

[CtH: Nope, not Waxman I’m thinking. It’s in the family Rhinochimaeridae, so definitely one of John McCain’s BFFs. Note: First dorsal spine contains a mildly poisonous venom. So yeah … butt ugly, can make you sick if you get too close. RINO!]

[CtH: Creepily brilliant toon. Hope you don’t mind me reposting with references, Pete.]

HANG IN THERE,FUN STUFF TOMORROW

“Clean Up On Aisle 13”

Posted by Pistol Pete

Mindful:thank you for your kind words yesterday. Commenters are gratifying because it means I’ve motivated someone to join the conversation. But my opening comment yesterday was due to the hits per hour this site gets. I take my posting priveleges seriously,but I don’t have the skill Chrissy does to insert awesome graphics,charts and references. Any idiot can copy and paste,but I try to use humor and my capacity for sick and perverse commentary to make people want to check daily to see what that idiot came up with today. In a pressure cooker world I try to be the release valve so you can be comforted by the fact that no matter how bad things are for you,at least you ain’t me.

LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY’S GETTING COAL IN THEIR STOCKING THIS YEAR

Posted by Pistol Pete

Well,Chrissy,I guess it’s pretty much down to you and I. Everybody seems to have moved on. Such is life.

Today is the 150th anniversary of Lincoln’s Gettysburg address. I’m pretty sure they don’t bother mentioning it in school anymore .

We still can:

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a  new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men  are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any  nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great  battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a  final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might  live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not  hallow — this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have  consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will  little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what  they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the  unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It  is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us —  that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for  which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve  that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall  have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people,  for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Abraham Lincoln November 19, 1863

Obama is skipping the ceremony today. Criminal co-conspirator Jay Carnage can’t explain why. He doesn’t have to. We all have a pretty good idea.

http://washingtonexaminer.com/jay-carney-cant-explain-obama-skipping-gettysburg-address-memorial/article/2539353

The link below has a youtube of Barky reading the Address but he omits two teeny little words. Can you guess what they are?

Obama Recites Version of Gettysburg Address That Omits ‘Under God’

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/11/19/obama-omits-god-while-reciting-the-gettysburg-address/

Lighten up,Pete; it’s only Tuesday.

Posted by Pistol Pete

“it’s so nice to be insane,no one asks you to explain”

…Helen Reddy

Barry took a short time out from his crusade to focus like a laser on jobs to squeeze in his 151st round of golf,then take in a game between the U of Maryland and Oregon state,which is coached by Mooch’s brother. He was roundly booed,but pretended not to hear it.

IT WAS JUST BROUGHT UP ON THE RADIO THAT TODAY IS THE 35TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE KOOL-AID PARTY IN JONESTOWN. SEEMS APPROPRIATE SOMEHOW.