Category Archives: Funny Stuff
PETE’S PAGE; TUESDAY EDITION
Posted by Pistol Pete
So the Mandela memorial was today. Sadly,I missed our feckless leader’s homage to himself,as I had pressing business. I had to clean the lint trap in the dryer. From what I’ve read it was a pathetic display of puffery and self-aggrandizement. It was supposedly a solemn memorial for a world leader who had passed and it devolved into something akin to the Wellstone memorial. I read on Twitchy that when Barry was done with his self-congratulations GW Bush gave him a standing ovation,out of respect. When he was shown on the Jumbotron he was roundly booed. This was nothing more than a who’s who of tinpot dictators and A-list celebrities hobnobbing.
OBAMA SHAKES HANDS WITH RAUL CASTRO. NOTE HOW WELL HE BOWS TO MURDEROUS DICTATORS.
SOMEONE ELSE WAS SPEAKING,OBVIOUSLY NOWHERE NEAR AS INTELLIGENT AND CHARMING AS TEH WON,SO HE TOOK SOME SELFIES WITH PM CAMERON AND THE THE NORDIC BLONDE PM OF DENMARK.MOOCH DOES NOT LOOK IMPRESSED.
CHECK THE SCOWL ON MOOCH’S PUSS;SHE’S EITHER PISSED AT BARRY OR HAVING A HEAVY FLOW DAY
SOME YOUNG AFRICAN GIRLS CALLED OUT TO THE PRINCE OF LIES. HE STOOD,AND WITH ONE WAVE OF HIS MIGHTY HAND VALIDATED THEIR ENTIRE EXISTENCE. SERIOUSLY,WHAT RICHES CAN LIFE HOLD FOR THEM AFTER THIS? IT’S ALL ANTI-CLIMACTIC.
I heard audio on Rush’s show of Christiane Imawhore having repeated,violent,shuddering orgasms talking about the Great Pretender and how he’s assuming the mantle of leadership and how Mandela is bringing the world together. She was absolutely breathless.
HERE IS ONE PARAGRAPH OF BARRY’S SPEECH I LIFTED FROM KEITH KOFFLERS POST.(I’ll link to it).
GET A BOTTLE OF ALCOHOL AND TAKE A DRINK EVERY TIME HE SAYS ‘I’ OR ‘ME’ IN ONE STINKING PARAGRAPH! YOU WON’T LAST LONG.
But let me say to the young people of Africa and the young people around the world – you, too, can make his life’s work your own.
Over 30 years ago, while still a student, I learned of Nelson Mandela and the struggles taking place in this beautiful land, and it stirred something in me. It woke me up to my responsibilities to others and to myself, and it set me on an improbable journey that finds me here today. And while I will always fall short of Madiba’s example, he makes me want to be a better man. (Applause.) He speaks to what’s best inside us.
Always about him…always.
ENOUGH!!!!
h/t to legal insurrection
Filed under Barack Obama, Funny Stuff, Nelson Mandela
PETE’S PAGE; MONDAY EDITION
Posted by Pistol Pete
First off,prayers up for all of our friends who are suffering through this terrible storm. Where we live was spared pretty much,only about 4″ of snow between yesterday and overnight. Hopefully you’ll feel a little better after your visit here.
Got a few political posts,but I’d rather concentrate on things not necessarily in the headlines.
THE OBAMAS HOSTED A PARTY FOR THE KENNEDY CENTER HONOREES LAST NIGHT,INCLUDING BILLY JOEL,CARLOS SANTANA AND HERBIE HANCOCK. SURE BEATS WORKIN’ DON’T IT?
BTW,THESE DEVOUT MUSLIMS ARE GETTING BY WITH ONLY 24 CHRISTMAS TREES AT THE SPITE HOUSE THIS YEAR. PRETTY GOOD,SINCE THEY WON’T EVEN BE THERE.
Nothing like rubbing it in peoples’ faces.
BARRY VISITED THE USS ARIZONA MEMORIAL. PRETENDS HE GIVES A SHIT. SIGN IN THE BACKGROUND BARELY READABLE WITH HIM IN THE FOREGROUND. IT ALWAYS HAS TO BE ABOUT HIM. ALWAYS.
Added by CtH – Cesar Millan says, “Walking in front of your dog allows you to be seen as the pack leader. Conversely, if your dog controls you on the walk, he’s the pack leader. You should be the first one out the door and the first one in. Your dog should be beside or behind you during the walk.” http://www.cesarsway.com/training/thewalk/6-Tips-for-Mastering-the-Dog-Walk
LOVE THIS ONE:
FACE IT:YOU CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF HER!
OOPS,I MEANT HER!
Filed under Funny Stuff
PETE’S PAGE; FRIDAY FUNHOUSE EDITION
Posted by Pistol Pete
“Resentment is like taking poison hoping it will kill your enemies.”….Nelson Mandela
Little did he realize he occupied a jail cell where Barack Hussein Obama would stand one day. He’d have been thrilled.
R.I.P.
Before we start with the fun stuff I know some of you are dying to hear about the hard-hitting interview conducted by one Christopher Matthews.
It was everything you could imagine and worse.
He actually said this: “He came to us. He came amongst us.”
MK Ham tweeted: “And, lo, the president came upon them, and the glory of the president shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.”
It was really bad,folks. Bozo grinning from ear to elephantine ear as Tingles vomited drek all over his wingtips. Chrissy was smart to wear a dark suit so people wouldn’t notice him pissing on himself (I hope it was just pee.) Toughest question: who would be a better president? Plugs or Cankles? Of course,they’re the best veep and SOS EVAH,according to his royal Pettiness. There is a youtube embedded at the first link where Tingles is having a circle jerk with Howard Fineman,the stinking crapweasel David Corn and some broad whose face is blocked by the start button. I didn’t want to know bad enough to watch it to find out. Judging from the nicely tanned hands I’d guess it was their junior race baiter,Melissa Hairy-Scary. I’m pasting a couple links in case you’re really,really into pain.
“Al Gore accepted the fact, even though he won by 600,000 votes, that W. was president. And the Democrats accepted the legitimacy of George W. Bush 100 percent,” …you can’t make this stuff up…unless you’re a lib.
ENOUGH OF THIS!!!LET’S HAVE SOME FUN!
OBAMA’S TAKING SOME BEACH BUNNIES WITH HIM ON VACATION
Lord.forgive me,for I know not what I do.
Help yourself
Filed under Barack Obama, Chris Matthews, Funny Stuff
PETE’S PAGE; THURSDAY EDITION
Posted by Pistol Pete
Geez,miss one day and suddenly my bookmark list overfloweth with all manner of subjects. A lot of stuff to sort through,but I’ll get it done. I always do. Looking forward to tomorrow’s post–lots of good stuff.
Barry is skipping town for the white,sandy beaches of Hawaii for the 6th time. Taking his peeps and his string of media whores with him. And guess what? YOU’RE PAYING FOR IT!
Filed under Funny Stuff
PETE’S PAGE; TUESDAY EDITION
Posted by Pistol Pete
To answer GP’s query:
Yes,I am more than happy to help with your Christmas tree quandary. When the kids were little,we took them to the Sinissippi forest in Oregon,Il.,pre-Christmas Story movie.
Just get on Hwy 64 (North Ave) and head west. When you go over the I-39 overpass you’ll come to a stop sign at hwy 251. Go straight and you’ll see a sign that says:Oregon 12 miles. As you just get into town there’s a road on the left called Daysville Rd. Turn left and look for a fork where Daysville curves to the left and Lowden Rd goes to the right. You’ll see a sign that says Sinissippi Sawmill. The tree lot is just past it. They cut fresh trees or they’ll give you a bucksaw to kill your own tree in honor of the season. There is coffee,cider and donuts and other baked goods plus hopelessly overpriced plastic trinkets in the converted barn. The kids still tell their little ones about getting in dad’s GMC Sierra and singing songs as we go out to find the perfect tree.
I am including below a link with their address,phone number and relevant information. If you’re looking for a white pine,these are some of the best you’ll find. There’s even a White Pines State Park on the other side of Oregon. This area is famous for them and teeming with deer. I drove this route for 25 years and saw many of them. Hope this helps.
http://www.manta.com/c/mm2wfdr/sinnissippi-forest
PS:the foliage along this route during fall turnover is spectacular.
There are all kinds of tree farms around here. Keep your city life;I’ll stay in the country until I’m gone.
Filed under Funny Stuff
PETE’S PAGE; CYBER MONDAY EDITION
Posted by Pistol Pete
Glad to see Chrissy’s long nightmare is over.
Between Friday and today I did the bulk of my holiday gift shopping without leaving the comfort of my broken down,padding worn-through computer chair which I have been hinting to DW and two of my daughters to replace for a nice leather high-back number with arm rests. We’ll see if it works. I’m not really counting on it.
Do not attempt to assign any rhyme or reason to the links today. I’ve bookmarked so much it’s all over the place. I’ll just holler ‘Geronimo’ and take a leap of faith.
On December 1, 1955, in Montgomery, Alabama, Rosa Parks refused to obey bus driver James F. Blake’s order that she give up her seat in the colored section to a white passenger. Today in remembrance of that event Barack Obama tweeted out… a picture of himself.
No matter what,when or where,
IT ALWAYS HAS TO BE ABOUT HIM!!!
Sorry.
Filed under Funny Stuff
Plop Plop Fizz Fizz
Once upon a time, your wise old Grammy taught you to avoid discussing controversial topics at holiday time, because family gatherings were supposed to be about renewing, not shredding, the ties that bind.
Nowadays, we have the Preacher-in-Chief nagging us to bring up Obamacare at holidays, because … umm … why is that exactly?
Have the Talk – A real Organizing for Action ad [1:51]
Tweeters had fun adding to the Talking Points:
- Make sure your family knows the turkey was killed for not having health insurance, and they could be next.
- Repeatedly insist that your family let you be clear.
- If your family persists in their irrational hatred of ObamaCare and the President accuse them of racism.
- Insist that all mentions of “God” in the pre-meal prayer be replaced with “Barack”.
- Filibuster the pre-meal prayer with ObamaCare Talking Points until the food gets cold.
Tweeters suggested a few (mostly scatalogical) ways to respond to obnoxious talking-point spewers. My personal favorite was:
- Did you hear Obama’s job approval rating is down to 34%?
November 25: MSNBC’s Christopher Hayes announced to breathless libtards that the Cable News Arm of Obama for America would be devoting an entire hour to fun ways to browbeat your conservative family members.
Ace of Spades said the left churns out these “How to Talk to Your Family About Politics” guides every single year, something we just don’t see on the Right. Suggested reasons:
- Progressives are so neurotic, they need “Why I Am Superior” pep talks before every holiday gathering.
- Dunno about you, but my O’care Talking Points fit on my palm. “You were wrong. Period.”
After Turkey Day, Twitchy aggregated the best of “How did The Talk Go At Your House?” tweets. Lots of folks mentioned arguing, arguments, yelling, more yelling, indigestion, a burning desire to leave early, go to sleep, get drunk. Others had better experiences:
- We held a family vote on Obama Care and we were unanimous in being “agin” it. First time we’ve all agreed on anything.
- Even w/ 10 people giving input, we couldn’t find anything positive to say. Don’t think “O” would be happy 🙂
- Followed obama’s advice to discuss #obamacare during turkey dinner. Family consensus was obama is worst Pres in US history.
- Well we sat down as a family and all talked about the failure of #obamacare today at dinner. Thats what we were supposed to do, right?
- We discussed #Obamacare at Thanksgiving dinner. We all still agree that it sucks.
- Yeah, #Obamacare was discussed for like 2 seconds. 100% of family members hate it. Period.
- Everyone’s premium is up 13-18% with higher deductibles. No one likes it. #fullrepeal
- Liberal family member didn’t say a word in defense of Obamacare.
- Great dinner and great discussion about the fiasco Obamacare is.
- Our conversation about O’care at dinner: “It sucks, now please pass the mashed potatoes.”
- We had an intense discussion about ObamaCare. We all concluded Obama really does not care.
- For once there were no political arguments at the dinner table this holiday. We all agreed Obamacare stinks.
- 100% unanimous … #ACA should be repealed.
None of that seems quite what the Turkey-in-Chief had in mind. ::snort:: (Hand him an Alka Seltzer.) Still, his minions kept plugging away.
- Great news everyone! Thanks to @RepSwalwell’s cousinunclesistermotherbrother http://healthcare.gov is fixed!
- “Don’t tell anyone I said that.” Which is why he goes on Twitter to tell everyone?
- NOBODY calls Obamacare “ACA”, especially not “VERY conservative” people.
- Snickering madly. The “sigh” was a nice touch, buddy.
- Did @OFA provide you with that phony story?
- My 5,000,000 fellow Americans who lost coverage, and millions paying more for less, are more real.
- If this were an actual story, it would be front-page/leading news story on every liberal media outlet.
- As it would happen, Obama told me over TG dinner (he stops by every year) that he knows Obamacare is a disaster.
- A VERY liberal family member said over Thanksgiving dinner that she was selling her unicorn. But don’t tell anyone! Sigh
- A VERY liberal Senate majority leader has it on good authority that Mitt Romney is a tax cheat, felon, and murderer. Shhh. http://twitchy.com/2012/07/31/harryreidfacts-some-guy-totally-told-truther-harry-reid-a-thing-about-romneys-taxes-media-blindly-repeats/
December 1, the nagging continued with Barack Obama tweeting:
This holiday weekend is a great time for a conversation over leftovers: http://OFA.BO/1Koyy1
Next OFA will tell us how to ruin Christmas. FORWARD!
Source:
- http://twitchy.com/2013/11/20/ofa-offers-advice-to-help-you-ruin-thanksgiving/
- http://twitchy.com/2013/11/25/try-sharing-these-ofathanksgivingtalkingpoints-with-family-and-friends/
- http://twitchy.com/2013/11/25/should-be-fun-chris-hayes-wants-to-help-lefties-talk-with-conservative-relatives/
- http://twitchy.com/2013/11/26/o-bam-iowahawk-has-some-advice-for-obamacare-evangelists-on-thanksgiving/
- http://twitchy.com/2013/11/27/gut-busting-best-idea-of-what-to-share-with-family-about-obamacare-on-thanksgiving/
- http://twitchy.com/2013/11/29/thanks-obama-heres-what-happened-when-obamacare-came-up-at-thanksgiving-dinners/
- http://twitchy.com/2013/12/01/did-you-see-rep-swalwells-absurd-obamacare-thanksgiving-tale-bonus-boom-suggestion/
Filed under Barack Obama, Funny Stuff, Obamacare
SATURDAY OPEN THREAD
Posted by Pistol Pete
I’m going to poat a few things,but basically this is a venue for Chrissy to vent.Apparently her computer is in sympatico with healthcare.gov,which is currently shut down for maintenance.
Howzabout some funnies?
MAYBE THIS IS CtH’S PROBLEM:
Filed under Funny Stuff
polination.blog 