Category Archives: Funny Stuff

I’m back

The office lady at the hospital was trying to get me federal aid for my health(medicaid).I got a phone call yesterday from someone in Springfield asking about our cars and wanted to know what the cash value on my whole life insurance policy was.They asked about DW’s,but hersis a term policy with no cash value.It sounds like I’ll probably be turned down,leaving me with a quarter million dollars in medical bills and no money for any diabetic supplies.I’m not black,Mexican , and for my whole life I had a job.Guess that disqualifies me.

This whole thing stinks.I’d bet a penny worth of brimstone against a hard union dollar the Jerkoff brothers were part of a sleeper cell.Proof?Cornhole and the White Hut is denying it.That’s proof enough for me.And I don’t buy for a minute the Saudi national that Mooch visited in the hospital  is not part of the plot.He will be quietly slipping out of the country since his family is well connected.What surprises me is that there have not been more of these attacks since terrorists know they have a sympathizer running the country.

Added by CtH … snagged off Twitter and Facebook.

Posted by Walter’s evil alter ego

Pete wanted the day off.He said,’can you fill in?’

‘Idon’t give a damn.’

OK,just for the record-those two murdering scum are named Tamerlin and Dzhokar Tsarnaev.thats too much to spell.We’ll call him Joker Jackoff,since its easier and it fits.The other one’s dead,so why talk about him?

I resent people comparing me to the guy with the hairplugs.I’m smarter than that asshole and I’m made of wood!

Have a smile over the rest of this crap.if you don’t,I don’t give a damn.

OFFICIAL SEAL OF THE LAME DUCK DYNASTY

MY WIFE FINALLY LEFT ME.IT’S ABOUT TIME!AFTER WE HAD ‘ONE MORE FOR OLD TIMES’ SAKE,I SAID “DID I HURT YOU?”

NO,WHY? SHE SAID.

YOU MOVED ONCE,I SAID.

SHE JUMPED ON HER MENSTRUAL CYCLE AND RAN MY ASS OVER ON THE WAY OUT THE DOOR.

ANY GOOD LOOKIN’ WIMMIN OUT THERE WHO WANT TO MEET,YOU BRING THE RAG AND I’LL BRING THE LEMON PLEDGE.WE’LL TALK ABOUT WHATEVER COMES UP.IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT,

Posted by Pistol Pete

Been an eventful week,hasn’t it?The newswires were mainlining alka-seltzer last night as the Boston Bomber  suspect drama went one way then the other.The left was hoping it was the original suspects,a Caucasian man named Michael Mulugeta and a Pakistani ,Sunil Tripathi.Turned out the real culprits were MUSLIM JIHADISTS from Chechnya.The frustration and disappointment coming from MSNBC is palpable.

SIGN POSTED AT THE GEORGIA/SOUTH CAROLINA BORDER

Posted by Pistol Pete

Thank you all so much for your kind words.Being pretty much chained to an oxygen machine 24/7,this is the whole of my ‘social networking.’I don’t facebook,twitter,tweet text or reddit.I don’t have an Ipad,smartphone or smart anything.I’ve gotten along without them for over 60 years,and for the few I have left it doesn’t make a lot of difference.I follow news on the internet all weekend(I figure if anything happens on the Sunday shows somebody will post it) and by Monday I have 40-50 items in queue and then comes the winnowing down.However today I have so much,I’m going to split it into 2 reports,one serious/depressing and the other good/funny/strange news.I will be interested to see if anybody has any comments to either one.Tomorrow I should be back to one.I really don’t like working this hard for what they pay me.

I LIKED HIM SO MUCH BETTER WHEN HE WAS JUST A FUNNY NEGRO

McDonald’s is getting some flak for using this image from an ad for mental illness in their advertising.For once,I agree.This is in really bad taste.

Posted by Pistol Pete

As is my wont from time to time,I’m bringing you a mostly good,strange,offbeat or funny articles.Lord knows the weeks get depressing enough as it is.

GP,I’d like to come to see Cong. Walsh,unfortunately I don’t have enough oxygen in my portable tanks to make it in there and back.I have to order on Friday and it gets delivered Monday.

Chrissy:I’m continuing to pray for you and yours.God will watch over you,I promise.He cares for me,and I’m a complete pain in the hind quarters.

The news,as it is,and probably will be by the time Monday rolls around again:

Obama will have Newtown mom give weekly address to take exploitation of the dead to a new level

North Korea threatens to fire nuke;Obama pretends not to know,genuinely doesn’t care

Secretary Liveshot continues Asian tour to remind everybody he served in Viet Nam

Nancy Reagan too ill to attend Baronness Thatcher’s funeral;Cankles will go,just to cheapen things up considerably

McCain,Toomey will probably be on all the Sunday shows now that they’ve ‘seen the light’ on gun control and sold out their own party along with a few collaborators

Feeling underexposed,Mooch will give commencement speeches in three different states this year.She’ll tell students there was a time they could have gotten a good job and made good money.Until her baby daddy ruined the economy,destroyed the market for young people and spent every cent they would have made.You youngsters keep voting for your friends the democrats,mkay?

By the Grace of Almighty God,we’ll still be here come Monday.

YOUR CHILDREN DON’T BELONG TO YOU

found this picture and thought it fit

Posted by Pistol Pete

It never ceases to amaze me how unhappy and how angry liberals seem to be.They won everything in 2008 when they got a cardboard cutout elected president,still they scream.They got angry with Chicago Jesus because he didn’t close gitmo right away,didn’t pull all our troops out of every foreign country and didn’t outlaw internal combustion engines on day one. He also didn’t fully embrace gey marriage until after his reelection,when it was safe.Liberals have a big,empty hole inside that will never be satisfied no matter how many of the next person’s rights they infringe on or how much pain they inflict.

I’m reading this morning about the ‘death parties’ that broke out in the UK after Baronness Thatcher’s death.When she became PM,the British economy was a mess and unemployment was 13.9%.When she left office it was 5.8%.She broke a few labor unions along the way,hence the continuing venality.She has had nothing to do with anything for over 20 years and still the left never lets it go.She was treated with the same rage as Reagan,George W. Bush,Sarah Palin,Herman Cain,Dr. Carson and anybody else with the temerity to stand up to their tyranny.Forgive and forget has never been a consideration to the Democrat party.

Posted by Pistol Pete

We just keep on keepin’ on.Please continue to pray for my pal,CtH and her family.They sure deserve it.

IN CASE HOOT IS STILL AROUND,THERE’S A LINK TODAY ABOUT BURROWING OWLS THAT LIVE ON THE GROUND.IT TOOK PHOTOGRAPHER 6 MONTHS TO GET 20 PICTURES OF THESE ELUSIVE CREATURES.

THE PICTURE BELOW WAS FROM A UK TELEGRAPH STORY ABOUT A COW ELEPHANT PROTECTING HER INJURED CALF FROM HYENAS. I SAW IT AS A METAPHOR FOR EVERY CONSERVATIVE THAT COMES FORWARD AND IS ATTACKED BY THE MEDIA,LIKE SARAH PALIN,HERMAN CAIN,AND OF LATE,DR. BEN CARSON AND MICHELLE BACHMANN.THAT BE DEEP,AIN’T IT?

Posted by Pistol Pete

Some days there just isn’t much worth talking about.

CtH: Had to add these to above 🙂