Category Archives: Funny Stuff
Funniest thing I’ve seen in ages!
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Checking in with Los Feliz
Los Feliz Daycare (motto: “We do not accept immunized children”) is an ultra-progressive child care center in an unspecified affluent neighborhood on the left coast. Some recent tweets:
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Miraculous: Clump of Cells Transforms into Fully Formed Baby upon Womb Exit
From The Babylon Bee.
AKRON, OH—According to witnesses of the miraculous event, an amorphous clump of cells was instantaneously transformed into a beautiful, fully formed human baby the moment it was delivered at Grace Hospital Wednesday afternoon.
“Our little bundle of joy is so precious,” mother Hannah Bramer told reporters as she held her baby boy for the first time. “It’s hard to believe little Ashton was an unrecognizable blob of tissue just a few minutes ago.”
“I have no idea how this happened, but I am so happy,” she added.
Doctors who witnessed the occurrence claim it was nothing short of a medical miracle.
“The baby you see was indeed just a part of that woman’s body, moments ago,” the doctor who delivered the child said. “He is now clearly a separate, unique human being—just like that. We’re all fascinated, honestly. It’s astounding. We have no explanation.”
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Checking in with Los Feliz
Los Feliz Daycare (motto: “We do not accept immunized children”) is an ultra-progressive child care center in an unspecified affluent neighborhood on the left coast. Some recent tweets:
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Nine Things You Should Know About the Transgender Bathroom Debate
From The Babylon Bee.
Everybody’s talking about it. Here’s what you need to know.
1.) President Trump on Wednesday rescinded an Obama administration order to all public schools which stated that, in order to comply with federal law, all school policies must be based on “gender identity” and not biological sex.
2.) The overturned Obama order directed schools to thoroughly prove students’ gender identity before allowing them access to the opposite sex’s bathrooms and locker rooms by just asking them if that’s how they really feel.
3.) The overturned Obama order also confirmed that no high school boy would ever pretend to identify as a female in order to be able to shower with naked girls.
4.) The overturned Obama order also mandated large litter boxes be available for students identifying as otherkin.
5.) The overturned Obama order also declared that any father who would be upset about his daughter being forced to share a bathroom and locker room with a biological male is a terrible, disgusting, pig-faced equivalent of a KKK member circa 1960.
6.) By rescinding the order, President Trump has delivered a significant setback for humanity, sending us back to the Dark Ages of pre-May 2016.
7.) In his statement rescinding the order, President Trump specifically encouraged discriminating against, bullying, and harassing all members of the transgender community, as vigorously and often as possible.
8.) Trump titled his statement I Obviously Hate People With Gender Dysphoria Because I Am Asking Everyone To Use The Restroom Of Their Biological Sex Like Everyone Has Done Since The Beginning Of Time.
9.) Critics of Trump’s move cite a desire to protect transgender students from feeling uncomfortable because they have to share facilities with members of what they perceive as the opposite sex, while also having an easy way to identify intolerant bigots (non-transgender students who feel uncomfortable sharing facilities with members of the opposite sex).
More stories of questionable veracity from the Babylon Bee:
Local Believer Shows No Evidence Of Salvation Before Morning Coffee
Church Introduces New Maximum Security Nursery
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Checking in with Los Feliz
Los Feliz Daycare (motto: “We do not accept immunized children”) is an ultra-progressive child care center in an unspecified affluent neighborhood on the left coast. Some recent tweets:
Filed under Funny Stuff
I Got the Fever
Cabin fever is a serious but not often fatal disease whose beginning coincides with winter freeze over on lakes and rivers. Long months of cold, dreary nothingness, the only comfort being the promise of a renewal with the coming of Spring. This winter has been something of an oddity. This weekend the highs will be in the 60’s in my part of the country, with ample sunshine. The lakes are still frozen, but the ice is getting dangerously thin.
There is an annual Boat and Fishing Show being held this weekend at the Sports Center in our town. I’m taking my beloved grandson, R.J., for his first show. I’ve looked forward to this for months. I’ve found out that the father of his best friend is dating my cousin! Small world. They’re coming with us and I’m planning a trip to SE Wisconsin in June with a professional guide for the 4 of us. My longtime fishing partner suffered a stroke last year and can’t/won’t travel as far as we used to. So I’m planning a number of guided trips to different waters to show my grandson some new experiences.
I wasn’t exactly Ward Cleaver when my girls were growing up. Truth is I was hardly there at all. Everything was always about me. I had no sons and RJ is my only grandson. (Tyler is also, but his mother doesn’t want much to do with me. She has her hands full with him and his battles with cancer.)
I love my granddaughters but there’s always been a special bond between boys and their grandpas. It’s the only time I get him to myself and I cherish every minute. The way he watches and listens to everything I try to teach him, it’s like I’m special to somebody. It’s the happiest time for me, since my daily routine never changes much. Hopefully, someday when he has sons and grandsons of his own, he can tell them about the times he went fishin’ with his grandpa. Maybe even tell a few fish stories. There’s not a better feeling in the world than being a shining light for someone else.
Dangerously thin ice
SORRY SO MANY….I’VE BEEN SAVING UP
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A Generic Valentine
It goes without saying that the ladies here are on a par with the most intelligent, sophisticated women on the planet. Upright, moral, willing to do whatever is necessary to protect their families and their country. However, there are a very large number of liberal women; unhappy, unfulfilled, either aggravated at their man or irritated because they don’t have one. There are blonde jokes aplenty, but the hair color is irrelevant when there is nothing underneath it.
In any case,a happy Valentine to all the snowflakettes out there.
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