Category Archives: Funny Stuff

by | July 29, 2016 · 1:38 pm

This Post Is NSFW

Not Sure For What
Did you think you were going to find some smutty crap here? Try some of the lefty blogs. You’ll know them by the ‘F’ bombs every conversation is peppered with. This is just some really tasteless juvenile stuff. You know, the usual.
Man who dubs himself ‘Lord of the wives’ says his marriage has IMPROVED since adding two more women to the relationship (and insists his first wife doesn’t mind)
Paulie Hussle, 32, married his university sweetheart Vanessa 12 years ago
But the pair grew apart and eventually split up after three years in 2006
He pursued relationships with two other women, Lady and Hazel
Despite being ‘furious and jealous’, Vanessa eventually returned
Now Paulie lives happily with his three wives and their three children

This is probably a lot of mens’ fantasies. I always had enough trouble with one.
I THINK HE GOT THESE FROM ILLEGAL CHIQUITAS R US

Church Organist Busted In Glory Hole Gambit
Cops: Suspect, 75, “shoved” self through wall
A church organist is facing an indecent exposure charge after he allegedly “shoved his penis” through a bathroom divider wall “and waited” for a response from the man occupying the adjacent stall, police report.
THIS IS KNOWN AS THE BILL CLINTON GAMBIT

Convicted sex offender, 90, charged with sex crime at Edina pool
The man had sex toys with him at the time of his arrest, according to the criminal complaint.
90 YEARS OLD?REALLY?

Muslim Man Attacks Indian Teen Girl And Tries To Rape Her At Knifepoint, She Wrestles The Knife Away And Castrates Him

Muslims only attack when they think their target is unable to protect itself.
THAT’S GOTTA HURT
Missouri man, 68, charged with having sex with a cow after sneaking into a barn and tying up the animal
Darrell Helton charged with misdemeanor unlawful sex with an animal
The 68-year-old was allegedly caught inside a woman’s barn, standing naked behind a cow
Helton, who is married, admitted to deputies it was the second time he snuck inside the barn and had sex with a cow
OK, LET ME EXPLAIN TO THOSE OF YOU WHO MAY NEVER BEEN UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL WITH A COW.
GOATS AND SHEEP MAY SEEM VIABLE ALTERNATIVES. NO MAN, NOT EVEN SHAQ, IS TALL ENOUGH TO MAKE A CONNECTION WITH A COW WITHOUT USING A LADDER.
SECOND, DAIRY COWS HAVE THEIR HEADS LOCKED IN A STANCHION TO STOP THEM FROM BACKING OUT.
THIRD, THAT’S JUST NASTY.

Man calls 911, says wife was assaulted by toy at Tenn. hibachi restaurant
Water shoots out of a hole when the chef lowers the shorts on the toy, which looks like a boy, but the husband of a woman who was sprayed is now claiming sexual assault.

SOMEBODY LOOKING TO MAKE SOME EASY MONEY

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by | July 22, 2016 · 1:13 pm

Some Images Are Time Sensitive

Some images need to be posted while they’re still topical. Otherwise, they become irrelevant and have no value. Like political promises.

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In%20yo%20face%20America_zpswqhezc06

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Added by Grunt: “Dreams From My Godfather.”

Mooch3j

Added by bluebird of bitterness:

canada

harmony

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by | July 14, 2016 · 8:47 am

Just Some Stupid Pictures

No thought needed. Just try to take it a little easier for awhile.
I’VE HAD SOME OF THESE IN MY TOOLBOX FOR YEARS! WHO KNEW?

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FROM ONE OF MY BUDDIES
AIN’T IT THE TRUTH?
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THE MORE I POST THE STUPIDER THEY GET
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by | July 1, 2016 · 1:16 pm

Just a little Friday Fun

I could do a post on Loretta Lynch’s meeting with former president Ben T. Penis with articles and video, where she claimed they talked mostly about grandchildren (yeah,right) and she indicated she will take DOJs advice and not prosecute Mme. Pantsuit. This is not surprising nor unexpected. If you’re waiting for any kind of justice for this bag of bastards it will be a very long wait.

Instead, I’ll just post some funnies, like Jane Dough used to enjoy.
It doesn’t take any effort and I can’t screw it up.

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by | July 1, 2016 · 12:52 pm

Friday Potpourri

No particular subject, just a bunch of mishmosh.

Grandson’s first tackle box: $11.44
Assorted tackle: $1.19-$6.99
Teaching a 13 year old how to rig a slip bobber or why a rubbercore sinker is better than split shots for river fishing: absolutely priceless.
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I’D DO ANYTHING FOR THAT BOY

Turkish Imam Suspended After Doctors Find Cucumber Pieces in His Rectum

I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS
A 39-year-old imam in Turkey has been suspended from his role after doctors reportedly found “pieces of cucumber” in his rectum during a checkup.

The imam, who is from a Central Anatolian province, was admitted to hospital last week after suffering from severe abdominal pain and bleeding, Hurriyet Daily News reports.

Obama, Trudeu and Peña Nieto Share Awkward Three-Way Handshake

THE THREE AMIGOS…CHICO, BOZO, AND DILDO

Hillary Clinton Asked to Address ‘Revenge Porn’

ASK MY HUSBAND…HE’S AN EXPERT ON PORN
Hillary Clinton was asked at a town hall event this week how she would help victims of “revenge porn” if she were elected president, and she took the opportunity to identify herself as “exhibit A” of how negative things are said online.

4th of July Zombies – Americans Don’t Know Why We Celebrate Fourth of July!

Moonbat Columnist For NY Daily News Demands Major League Baseball Stop Singing “God Bless America” Because It’s “Offensive”


Same guy (and I use that term lightly) who claimed he got PTSD from firing an AR-15.

I’D CALL THIS LITTLE CANDY-ASS A DICK, BUT THAT’S A PART OF A MAN

Crazed nude model screams for Donald Trump as cops chase him around Time Square; jumps and MISSES airbag!

“Donald Trump where are you, Donald Trump where the f– are you?!” the man, who was later identified as 21-year-old fashion model Krit McClean, screamed as he demanded a meeting with the presumptive GOP presidential nominee, the New York Post reported.


Authorities took him to Bellevue Hospital for evaluation

YA THINK?

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by | June 25, 2016 · 1:36 pm

Steve, Bill, and Scott: Home on the (rifle) range

smith & wesson

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Filed under Bill Whittle, Funny Stuff, Gun Control, Scott Ott, Stephen Green

Tagged as ,

by | June 10, 2016 · 12:40 pm

Bill Gates Is Full of S*it

Chcken s*it, that is.

Keep CHICKENS if you want a better life, billionaire Bill Gates tells poor people
Super-rich Microsoft founder claims ‘anyone living in extreme poverty is better off if they have chickens’

“I’ve met many people in poor countries who raise chickens, and I have learned a lot about the ins and outs of owning these birds,” he wrote.

“It’s pretty clear to me that just about anyone who’s living in extreme poverty is better off if they have chickens.”

Growing up on a farm, the first chore I can remember was throwing scratch to the chickens. Scratch is a term for material like eggshell fragments that they store in their gizzards to help grind up grain, bugs, whatever they eat. They’re not particular when it comes to diet. Granddad used to determine if eggs were fertile by holding them to a candle. I was never sure exactly how. I can tell you in order to raise chicks you need a rooster (makes sense.) From what I read, one male per 15-20 hens is about the limit. They’re not studs.

We had what we called ‘sitting hens’ that would incubate eggs until they hatched. Grandpa built nesting boxes, like P.O. boxes
where they laid their eggs. I was about six when I started gathering. Most hens would let you reach under them and take the eggs. We had one hen that was extremely belligerent. She’d ruffle her neck feathers and dare me to try to put my hand under her. One of the worst parts of the job was taking the eggs in the basement and using sandpaper to scrape the poop off the eggs, because they weren’t always particular where they left them. Anybody who has had farm-fresh eggs or eaten chickens raised in a barnyard on natural feed can tell you there is no comparison to what is available in stores.

The bottom line is Gates should stick to making millions of dollars a day. It’s not as easy to raise chickens as one might think. People who are starving aren’t particularly interested in poultry husbandry. They eat whatever they can find. Ask Venezuelans.

Some fun facts:

Raising Chickens 101: Collecting, Cleaning, and Storing Chicken Eggs

Chickens like to eat eggs as much as we do. Most egg-eaters learn on broken eggs and then begin to break eggs themselves. Chickens are opportunists and will pick at whatever looks edible. If you clean up broken eggs immediately and throw out any “eggy” straw or shavings, you can prevent egg-eating. A chicken that learns this habit can’t be cured, and others may follow her lead. You don’t want the chickens eating your eggs—you want them yourself!

A cooking tip: To make deviled eggs, use week-old or older eggs, not this morning’s. The shells of really fresh eggs stick rather than peel cleanly.

Farm chickens can live 4 to 7 years and lay eggs for most of that time. Every year they go “off-lay” (stop laying eggs) for several months. This happens over the winter, when there’s too little daylight to trigger egg-laying. They’ll begin again in the spring.
http://www.almanac.com/blog/raising-chickens/raising-chickens-101-collecting-cleaning-and-storing-chicken-eggs

THIS IS A RHODE ISLAND RED

THE WHITE CHICKEN IS A LEGHORN,THE MOST COMMON BREED.
THE ROOSTER HAS A SPUR ON IT’S HEEL,MUCH LIKE A TURKEY. THESE ARE WHAT WE RAISED.

RAISING ANY KIND OF LIVESTOCK TAKES A LOT OF KNOWLEDGE TO BE SUCCESSFUL.
(AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T GOING TO LEARN ANYTHING TODAY.)

OK….NOW THE FUNNY STUFF

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How-to-catch-a-chicken

ACTUALLY,YOU CAN CATCH A CHICKEN. WE USED A COAT HANGER STRAIGHTENED OUT WITH A CROOK AT THE END LIKE A SHEPHERD’S STAFF TO HOOK A LEG AS THEY RUN FOR THEIR LIVES. WITHOUT IT, YOU HAVE NO PRAYER OF CATCHING ONE.

This-chicken-is-so-black---meme

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by | June 9, 2016 · 1:59 pm

Of No Particular Import or Interest

Chrissy hasn’t been heard from for weeks. Not here and not on FB. Hopefully maybe someone can contact her family. I know her health is not the best, but prayer is a powerful medicine. It’s a pretty safe bet people get tired of the drivel this brainless twit can manage to assemble.

So, the Grand Passion Play has concluded. Like a pro-wrestling match, the winner was predetermined. The nation will now be treated to a screeching harridan spouting how great she and her man, Ben T. Penis, are going to make things for the 99 1/2% who are not bribe-sucking extortionists running a highly successful criminal enterprise.

AFTER CLINCHING THE DEMOCRAT NOMINATION HILLARY WENT FOR A SWIM AT THE HOLIDAY INN EXPRESS
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THIS ADORABLE LITTLE DESIGNER FROCK COSTS $12,500. BUT SHE RELATES TO THE COMMON PEOPLE.
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THE SECRET TO DEMOCRAT SUCCESS
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by | June 2, 2016 · 6:14 am

The Most Gifted Orator of Our Time

The Supreme Reader has been described that way more than a few times. Anybody who took the trouble to find out about this halfrican after he burst on the scene at the 2004 DNC convention probably figured out that he only sounds authoritative when he can read what somebody else wrote for him. We’ve all heard about his Columbia and Harvard days. I suspect most of his time was spent getting high, organizing protests, and having a good time. There’s a reason he had all his records sealed by court order before he started his ascent in socialist circles. He is embarrassingly slow-witted and stutters incessantly when he has to think on his feet. He tried attacking Trump yesterday and the results were as amusing as they were pathetic. It even made the banner on Drudge. Don’t think for a minute if he had to run for office again they wouldn’t cover for him.

THIS HAS ALREADY GONE VIRAL

Wow! Obama Tries to Trash Donald Trump and Turns into a Stuttering Mess
Poor Barack. He wanted to sound more powerful. He really did!

The lame duck president went to Indiana today to hold a rally and trash-talk Donald Trump.
Unfortunately, it didn’t go as planned. He turned into a stuttering mess.

Barack Obama: If we turn against each other based on division of race or religion. If-if-if-if-if-if-if-if-if-if-if we fall for, you know, a bunch of okie-doke, just because, you know it-it-it. You know, it-it-it-it-it-it sounds funny or the tweets are provocative.

Someone really needs to check that Teleprompter.

g1Jz8Hj

BARACK OBAMA SENDS AMERICA HIS BEST WISHES
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THE PRESSURE IS MOUNTING…IT WON’T DO ANY GOOD. SHE AIN’T SAYIN’ NOTHIN’. JUST RUNNING OUT THE CLOCK.
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by | June 1, 2016 · 1:08 pm

Lightweight Wednesday

This is one of those days when it seems appropriate to distract from the everyday depression that passes as news.
Today’s post is (mostly) offbeat, funny, or heartwarming. Just because.

FAMILY COOKOUT, BEAUTIFUL DAY, KIDS PLAYING, WARM BREEZE, GOOD FOOD..
SOMETIMES MY DAUGHTER AND HER CAMERA PHONE ARE A PAIN.

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