Category Archives: Funny Stuff

PETE’S PAGE; FRIDAY FUNDAY

Posted by Pistol Pete

My fishing partner and I haven’t gotten a line wet together for the last couple years. He works full time and has a mowing/snowplowing business on the side. After my hospitalization last year I determined to make use of what time I have left. We’re going on a shopping trip to Gander Mountain today to restock the ol’ tackle boxes with hooks,lures and all manner of gadget we’ll probably never use,but being manly men we gotta have  it. Like the power tools I never use(much). C’mon,don’t tell me women don’t have shopping fetishes too.

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PETE’S PAGE; THURSDAY EDITION

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Posted by Pistol Pete

As we are on the eve of the time Christians celebrate the crucifixion and resurrection of our Lord,Jesus Christ,I’d like to share a couple anecdotes from H.L. Mencken.

A church is a place where gentlemen who have never been to Heaven  brag about it to persons who will never get there.

A Sunday School is a prison where children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

God will never look you over for medals,degrees,or diplomas,but for scars….Elbert Hubbard

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“Activists “(terrorists) from U Minn. are demanding campus police arrest Condoleeza Rice when she appears on campus.

These vile posters are plastered all over (I have a link to the story).

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There is a link today about more range wars coming in the West.This is a map of government-owned land….this is appalling.

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C’mon,Grunt…I haven’t posted one all week

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OK, howzabout Slow Joe as one of the Three Stooges??

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PETE’S PAGE; WEDNESDAY EDITION

Posted by Pistol Pete

I post again. Why? Don’t have any better sense.

Some days it’s difficult to find enough interesting stuff to make a thread. Today ain’t one of those days.

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This pathetic-looking little dweeb is the tragic result of a drunken one night stand Dirty Harry Reid had with a retarded desert tortoise. His name is Rory. He ran for governor in 2010 and all his campaign literature used was “Rory.” Never mentioned his last name since his daddy was and still is the most reviled man in the state. Rory thinks Clevin Bundy should be jailed and prosecuted.

So should you and your dad,dickhead.

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OK,you got your picture,now get this goddam white brat offa me!

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THE EMPEROR HAS HIS OWN MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR THE BOSTON MARATHON VICTIMS. NO MEDIA ALLOWED. JUST A HANDOUT OF HIM CLUTCHING HIS BALLS,AS HE ALWAYS DOES WHEN ADDRESSING THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.

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NOW,IF YO BABY DADDY THROWS GANG SIGNS LIKE THIS,HE A CRIP. OTHERWISE,HE A BLOOD.

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Madam, I’m Adam

2014_04 13 - 19 Palindrome week

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PETE’S PAGE; TAX DAY

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Posted by Pistol Pete

Today is the day we all must pay the price for the privilege of supporting the democrat constituency who vote for a living.The income tax obligation does not include Charles Rangel,Tim Geithner or other selected liberals who deem themselves as above the law.

It has also been one year since two Muslim mongrels murdered 3 people and maimed many others at the Boston  Marathon.One is frolicking with his 72 virgins,the other is,hopefully,rotting in a jail cell.

It was also 149 years ago that the 16th president,Abraham Lincoln succumbed to an assassin’s bullet.The killers name was John Wilkes Booth.He instigated what was at the time the largest manhunt in our brief history.We all know this.We were fortunate enough to be educated when teachers still taught.Lord knows what the newer textbooks will say about those racist,obviously republican Southerners.

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I SAW THE BLOOD MOON AT ABOUT 1:00 AM,BEFORE IT BECAME OBSCURED BY CLOUDS

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OBVIOUSLY DONE BY A VICTIM OF THE PUBLIC EDUCATION SYSTEM

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DON’T YOU HATE PEOPLE  WHO PARK LIKE ASSHOLES??

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Added by CtH … stuff I saw on Facebook and Twitter

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PETE’S PAGE; MONDAY, SNOWY MONDAY

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Posted by Pistol Pete

It was in the upper 60s yesterday,it will drop into the 29’s with snow late this afternoon.On April 14.Al Gore,KMA!

Grunt got a shoutout from the Earl of Taint today.Nice job,Grunt.

Barry hosted a prayer breakfast today.That must have made him uncomfortable.I’m including a couple links with some of his cringeworthy comments.It’s a wonder God didn’t strike the heretic blind.

As usual,after a weekend I have stories backed up like a port-a-potty at a DNC convention.

Obama Admin Bans Junk Food in Schools

In another from-the-top decree, President Obama and his USDA have used regulatory powers to officially ban all junk foods from the nation’s schools.

http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2014/04/13/Obama-s-Gov-t-Bans-All-Junk-Food-in-Schools

APPARENTLY THE RULES DON’T APPLY TO THEM

Sasha Obama, the daughter of U.S. President Barack Obama eats ice cream in Florida

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THE MASTERS TOURNAMENT WAS HELD THIS WEEKEND IN AUGUSTA,GA….NOT EVERYBODY LOVES THE BAMSTER DOWN THERE

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Cat People Live Life on the Edge

CAT Ninja Assassin

CAT Human your death will be

CATS earthquakes

*antidepressants*awesome

*criminal

4 am

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Blazing Saddles and the Great Crepitation Contest of 1946

PSA: Please visit the bathroom and refrain from eating, drinking or chewing gum while enjoying these recordings. The Management can accept no responsibility for injuries resulting from failure to obey these simple suggestions. Thank you.

Pistol Pete posted this in response to my Global Warming fart blog of yesterday.

Blazing Saddles –Farting Cowboys- Greatest Fart Scene of All

It reminded me of a comedy routine I heard once upon a time, years and years ago.  A college friend had it on a cassette tape and we just howled when we heard it. It occurred to me that lots of old stuff has been uploaded to the net these days and sure enough … googling “fart competition color commentary comedy routine” scored me the exact recording!  Here for your listening pleasure is The Great Crepitation Contest of 1946.

Farting Contest with Paul Boomer & Lord Windesmear

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PETE’S PAGE; INCOHERENT BABBLING FRIDAY

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Posted by Pistol Pete

First,I’d lke your opinion….

Do you prefer Fridays post to be on current politics,as Monday-Thursday are,or do you like the completely irrelevant tidbits I’ve been posting? Please,no “whatever you want to do.”…we’re not mushy moderates here. I really want to present what you want.

OK…now here’s the news of the day.

Kathleen See-libelous lasted a lot longer than she should have,but the MSM is dutifully parroting the regime’s current bundle of lies that Obamacare is a success and she is leaving with her head held high. Likely she went the way everybody else who ever helped this reprobate has gone. Once they are no further use to his ambitions they are thrown aside without a second thought.

The Butcher was making a lame-ass speech yesterday and some woman threw a shoe at her. The woman was arrested and is being held on federal charges. Wait….Cankles is no longer a government official,she’s a private citizen. How does a simple assault warrant federal charges? George W. Bush was president and some muslim puke threw his shoes at him in Iraq,and the left played the clip over and over. They thought it was a laugh riot. It would not surprise me in the least if this woman was a plant so the Butcher could play the role. BTW,she cancelled an appearance today because the mother of one of her Benghazi victims would be there along with a bunch of protesters.

Hi Diddley Dee…a grifters life for me.

THIS PHOTO IS MAKING THE ROUNDS TODAY. BOZO IS ALLEGEDLY HOLDING DOWN MOOCH’S SKIRT ON A WINDY DAY IN TEXAS. TRUTH IS,SHE HAD DOWNED A GALLON OF FIVE ALARM CHILI AND CHASED IT WITH A TWELVE PACK OF LONE STAR BEER. SHE BLEW THE MOTHER OF ALL FARTS. HAD HER CHEEK BEEN EXPOSED,IT WOULD HAVE REVEALED HER TATTOO…INFLATE TO 32 PSI.

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The Cowardly Lion of the Senate

“In Mr. Reid’s Washington, the House works its will, the Senate does crossword puzzles. Its committees do not produce bills, its senators do not debate or amend, the body does not vote. The House, to accomplish anything, is forced to engage in backroom wrangling with the White House, the results of which are presented to the nation as a fait accompli. The Senate claims total deniability. …
Mr. Reid’s primary motive is to shield his vulnerable members from tough votes and to hide the huge divisions in his party.

“He does not want a debate on gun control, as it would force Democratic senators to choose between President Obama and their own pro-Second Amendment constituents. The majority leader would not offer a bill during the fiscal-cliff negotiations because many Democrats disagreed with their president’s proposed tax hikes. He has not produced a budget because to do so would expose the party’s real spending ambitions, which would create political problems back home for his members.” — Kimberley Strassel, Wall Street Journal

I apologize for the picture appearing at the top…I meant for it to go here.The blinking thingy must have moved.
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PETE’S PAGE; THURSDAY EDITION

Posted by Pistol Pete

Today’s lesson by Professor Pete is on the difference between poor=p-o-o-r and  po=p-o

I wracked my brain for almost 10 minutes to come up with these

poor=when there are no leftovers after supper

po= when the kids have to draw straws to see which one has to push themselves away from the table because there’s not enough for everybody

 

poor=when you go down the street on trash pickup day hoping somebody threw out some toy you could play with

po=when mama cuts holes in your pants pockets and says: ‘now you got something to play with.’

 

poor=when you have to take the bus to your minimum wage job

po=when you can’t afford bus fare and have to hitch a ride with a seedy-looking trucker

 

poor=what we were when Chicago jesus was immaculated

po=what we’ll be by the time he slithers his slimy ass off to Hawaii

 

I HAVE A COUPLE LINKS ON THESE HOT,STEAMY LOVEBIRDS

word is,they been swappin’ some serious spit

ll

 

ONE OF THESE IS A FAT,SMELLY,GASEOUS PIG….THE OTHER IS A WARTHOG

(sen. Babs Mikulski)

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This,honestly,is a FOURTH GRADE!! reader from Common Core indicating the Messiah overcame white peoples’ inherent racism.

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I COULD SO VOTE FOR THIS MAN!

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SLOW JOE TAKES AN ADVANCED READING COURSE FOR DEMOCRATS

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