Category Archives: Funny Stuff

Posted by Pistol Pete

Since we were last together we have lost two American icons.

One entertained us,the other blatantly stole from us.

James Brian Hellwig,AKA The Ultimate Warrior was a WWE Superstar in the 1990’s. He was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame 3 days ago. Yesterday he was found dead in his hotel room. The cause of death has not been determined. He was 54.

Auntie Zeituni Onyango came to this country illegally in 2000. When she was about to be deported she applied for asylum. It was denied in 2004. She continued to live in government housing,collect food stamps and medical assistance and generally flaunt her lifestyle to the taxpayers of Boston. She was finally granted asylum in 2010. The fact she is Barky’s aunt had absolutely nothing to do with it.

She passed from complications due to cancer. She was 61.

THIS IMAGE FROM BREITBART CALIFORNIA HAS LIBERALS IN THROES OF APOPLEXY.

CtH:DO YOU STILL USE FIREFOX??

WHEN GOVERNMENT DOES IT…WHEN ANYONE ELSE DOES IT

Posted by Pistol Pete

While preparing to start this post I opened the file folder where I keep all the images I post and delete yesterday’s offerings.Somehow when I went to delete the Woman with Balls,I managed to end up with it as a background for my monitor.Talk about a shock!The lettuce on my BLT wilted and my glass of fresh milk curdled before I got it changed.I’m pretty sure Grunt will chuckle when he reads this.

IN CASE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT HAPPENED TO ‘RERUN’ FROM THE TV SERIES “WHATS HAPPENING”

This one is so good-hearted and the butt of the joke was so delighted with it that I decided to share. Turn your speakers down (it’s loud) and have a good laugh.

Posted by Pistol Pete

There must have been a disturbance in the force yesterday.Our hit count was through the roof.

In a perverse way,I kinda wish some lib trolls would make themselves known.I haven’t pissed one off in a while.

• Ophrys Apifera was spotted in Spain by a British photographer
• The rare orchid bears a remarkable resemblance to the cartoon character
  
• THIS IS ALSO KNOWN AS THE BEE ORCHID OR “SHREK FLOWER”
• maybe BoB or Chrissy have one in their garden

OUR BELOVED DESPOT SNEAKED OFF TO ANDREWS AFB FOR ROUND #167 THIS WEEKEND

I SWEAR THIS PHOTO IS NOT RETOUCHED.IF THE BUTCHER DOESN’T LOOK LIKE A TRANSGENDER,I’M REALLY 25 AND FABULOUSLY WEALTHY

HUMA,I KNOW YOU’RE IN THE MOOD,BUT STOP BLOWING IN MY EAR.I’M BUSY NOW.I’LL DO YOU LATER

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2597390/The-Shrek-orchid-Rare-flower-looks-exactly-like-green-skinned-ogre-wearing-waistcoat.html#ixzz2yDa5kGnL

Before we start the weekend,here’s a few news items for you:

On Tuesday,when Barry magically came up with 7.1 alleged Obamacare victims,the Spite House asked ABCNBCCBSFOX for primetime so he could do his happy dance for all the folk.They all turned him down.Maybe they’re just not that into him anymore.

Bitter,angry,unfunny comedian Davey Letterdouche announced he’s retiring….in 2015.Why not now?Doesn’t he have enough for his wife,his mistress and the DNC by now?

Ever wonder how HHS went from 5 million signups to 7 million in just a few weeks?breaking news says HHS was registering Americans without their knowledge or permission.Screw your “rights.”

Chuck U. Schumer is moaning that the Supreme Court decision on campaign contributions will bring back ‘robber barons.’

In the last ten years he’s pocketed $35.1 million personally.

The Bishop of the Chicago Diocese upheld the actions of a priest who refused communion to “Needle” Dick Dirtbag,given his 100% rating from NARAL and Planned Parenthood.Good on them.

In Detroit,an act of kindness will most likely cost a good Samaritan his life.A child rode his bike into the street and was struck by a pickup truck.The driver got out to help him,and was accosted by 10-12 filthy black animals and robbed of his wallet.He is clinging to life in extremely critical condition.It is unlikely anyone will face charges for the attack.Detroit officials have determined this is not a hate crime.Don’t bother asking the drivers’ race.

OK…THATS ENOUGH.

Dammit…it did it again.Posted first picture at the top.

This ‘shovel-ready’ project was completed in 4 months by a crew of 15 union  laborers at  cost of $9 million

THIS IS A SEVERE CASE OF ‘COITUS INTERRUPTUS’

I’LL BET GRUNT HAS ONE OF THESE

 Another day…another mass shooting.

Soldiers were diasarmed while on base under George H.W. Bush.This inane rule has cost an awful lot of blood.

The shooter killed three and wounded 16 before a female MP pointed her weapon at him and he took his own life.

This seems to be a pattern with madmen who just want to take innocent lives.

Upon hearing of this shooting our commander-in-chief went before the cameras and mumbled some insincere gibberish about what a tragedy it was before he went back to his full-time job fundraising…this time in Chicago.He has his priorities,you know.

Forgot to click on the thingy so the first image is at the top.I never claimed I knew what I was doing.

GUESS WHO GETS THE SPORTSMAN CHANNEL??

SORRY,GRUNT…HAD TO DO IT

HERE YA GO:

Posted by Pistol Pete

Many of you have,no doubt,been witness to the pathetic display the supposed leader of our country put on yesterday.Any thinking person could see to go from under 6 million enrollees to 7.1 million in one day,especially since the website was down most of the day that this is all a steaming pile of doo-doo.No matter.The media will do as the Spite House orders and dutifully report these bogus numbers without question.The dem voter base,the ignorant,naive and political idolaters will accept what ever they’re told.All they care about is they’re getting their stuff paid for.But I really believe there is still as much anger as ever over this abomination and will only get worse as people are thrown off their medical plans because they don’t suit one person.We can only hope.

THIS IS “BUTCH.” SHE IS A MEMBER OF THE GENUS HOMO CANINUS HORRIBILIS.SHE WEARS A COLLAR TO KEEP HER FROM CHEWING ON HER OWN TAIL

AFTER OBAMAS CUTS TO THE MILITARY THIS IS THE NEW DRONE WE WILL BE USING

Posted by Pistol Pete

The irony of the fact that the day following the Obamacare deadline the regime announces over 6 million signups and it being April Fool’s day is not lost on me.Media types across the nation are drinking heavily,dancing clumsily and having multiple orgasms over thos pile of horse manure.The democrats have learned they can get away with telling the most outrageous lies they can think of and the presstitutes will dutifully parrot their lies to masses who couldn’t care less about anything but the next welfare check.NBC hack F.Chuck Todd giddily announces that once the signups hit 6 million it became “unrepealable.”Nobody bothers to mention that if it was that good they wouldn’t delay its implementation of parts of it until after the 2014 elections and the real pain until 2017 when Barky will be kicking it with Reggie in Hawaii.

You may have thought that being April Fool’s I would post some really stupid crap.I’ve decided to make my posts from now on all-business,serious topics and sober commentary.No more funny stuff………..

Just kidding.

found a couple pictures I put my own captions on….tell me what you think.

THE WOOKIE PROUDLY SHOWS OFF THE TWINS SHE BORE AS A RESULT OF A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH A LABRADOR RETRIEVER

‘UMMM…MR. PRESIDENT,I’VE HEARD BLACK MEN HAVE REALLY LARGE PENISES,EVEN THOUGH YOUR WIFE COMPLAINS YOU’RE HUNG LIKE A HAMSTER.CAN YOU ..UH,…TAKE IT OUT SO I CAN SEE FOR MYSELF?I HAVE RUBBER GLOVES ON.’

In the background:

Dirtbag:’OK,Harry,I farted.But at least I don’t have to hide the fact my adult diaper is leaking.’

THIS STATUE OF A CAMEL WAS BUILT WITH $400,000 0F TAXPAYER MONEY.YOU CAN SEE IT…IF YOU’RE EVER IN PAKISTAN

This is MSDNC Wunderkind Ronan Farrow.He got an award three days after his show started last month.He is going to be cancelled because his ratings are lower than reruns of  The Golden Girls on the Hallmark channel.An official at the networks was quoted as saying “he kind of stinks on television.”

Ronan is the son of Mia Farrow and either Woody Allen or Frank Sinatra.(she’s not sure which).I’m a little disappointed that Sinatra would bump ugly with the charming Ms. Farrow.For the love of Pete,he was boning Ava Gardner when she was the hottest thing on two legs in the ‘late ’40s.She still looks better than that tub of dirty dish water and she’s been dead since January of 1990!

he DOES kind of look like ‘Ol Blue Eyes,doesn’t he?

Hope you enjoy todays offerings.I make no promises.

Posted by Pistol Pete

THIS IS IT! TODAY IS THE DAY YOU MUST BEND TO THE WILL OF HIS ROYAL HEINOUS

If you are caught without approved coverage after this day you are obviously racist and will be sent to a re-education camp and all your wealth will be confiscated for redistribution to those who never got all the lucky breaks you did.Its only fair.There’s only one problem:

Obamacare Website Fails on Final Signup Day

People trying to apply and enroll for private health insurance through Obamacare before Monday’s midnight deadline discovered the website was “currently unavailable.”

What a Stunning Surprise… Obamacare Website Fails on Final Signup Day

A guy I work with was bragging that his family got coverage for $80/month.He has a physical deformity and no doubt gets disability.At least one of his kids gets SSI and I’m pretty sure his wife is also on welfare.I didn’t bother to mention to him that the 80% coversge he thinks he has might not be hat it seems.He does,however,fit the profile:

4 of 5 Obamacare Enrollees Qualified for Subsidy

After my hospitalization last year I was qualified for a medi-plan that will cover some expenses any month I spend more than $1150 out of pocket.DW has no coverage but turns 65 in October.Once she gets registered for Medicare(or whats left of it) we’ll look for a supplemental for her.I don’t much care about what happens to me one way or another.There are still a few things I get to decide.

This is the Lesser Sage Hen.Fish and Wildlife just put it on the endangered species list.Watch for Bam to seize millions of acres of land in 5 southwest states to halt production of oil and natural gas.(they’re red states anyway,so who cares?)

Bane is one of Batman’s more physically and intellectually powerful foes. BaneCat’s voice is from the Bane in the Batman movie “The Dark Knight Rises.”

FUNNY: BaneCat

BANE QUOTES: From The Dark Knight Rises