MASCOTS: Cherry blossoms in Maryland – “This is what I’m looking at right now, sitting in my car with window open while Buzz and Bunny have therapy and Bootz naps in his car seat.” – Mama Buzz
Bits & Bytes
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Bits & Bytes
ASKING FOR HELP TAKES COURAGE: We have value because a Higher Authority says so. Tissue alert.
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2020
WAR CHESTS: Top earners among those who revealed their first quarter take —
- Bernie Sanders = $18.2 million
- Kamala Harris = $12 million
- Beto O’Rourke = $9.4 million
- Pete Buttigieg = $7.1 million
- Cory Booker = $5 million
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Guest Post
It’s been a while.
First, I want to thank Almighty God for keeping us safe during our latest challenges. My wife was out with her friend last Saturday when she lost her balance and fell backwards, hitting her head, which required 9 staples to close the wound. Sunday as I was going to visit her an SUV cut into my lane., I swerved to avoid hitting it and in so doing I destroyed my car and another parked car. I got some bumps and bruises but I’ll be OK.
I took her home yesterday and got a call from our landlord. About a year ago our toilet overflowed and leaked through the ceiling in the downstairs apartment. The guy who had moved in down there is very unfriendly and complains about everything.He complained about still getting water seeping in,although we haven’t had a problem in over a year. He also griped about my wife running our washing machine at 2 in the morning. He’s on disability and doesn’t work. The landlord said if he complained again he would evict us after being faithful tenants for almost 11 years. Continue reading
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Bits & Bytes
Sorry, guys, but I’m not feeling too well today, so here is the no-frills stuff I gathered yesterday. I’d appreciate your prayers. Thanks! CtH
WAR ON TERROR: President Trump has designated the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) as a Foreign Terrorist Organization. This is the first time America has labeled part of another government a terrorist organization. The move “recognizes the reality that Iran is not only a State Sponsor of Terrorism, but that the IRGC actively participates in, finances, and promotes terrorism as a tool of statecraft.”
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Joe Biden Admits Past as Shampoo Fragrance Secret Shopper
From The Barbed Wire.
WASHINGTON – He’s having to come clean now that he’s about to run for president in 2020. Creepy Joe Biden has now admitted that repeated photos of him sniffing women’s hair was all just part of the job.
“I was a shampoo fragrance secret shopper for several decades,” Biden admitted in a statement on Friday. “You can understand now why I was getting so close and handsy with all those women. But I couldn’t blow my cover. I’d lose the $100 gift certificate they gave me for each survey I turned in.”
The former VP refused to name the hair care product company who hired him for the job. However, Biden did admit to once getting caught in the White House, freebasing shampoo samples in his office. “Barack walked in on me, so I had to tell him. He said he understood that the Vice-President doesn’t make a lot and it was cool that I had a side gig to bring in a little spending money.”
“Ash Carter’s wife, Stephanie, had a delightful bouquet of Mirabelle plum, lemon, lavender and seaweed extracts radiating from her hair. It was intoxicating, and I forgot where I was for a moment.”
Biden spokesman Bill Russo told reporters, “Mr. Biden has a strong affinity for brands like Bumble and Bumble, True Botanicals, and Head & Shoulders. You’ve noticed he likes to hold onto the shoulders while he smells the head. I’m sure the women don’t mind.”
(Inhales deeply)…”She’s definitely a Mermaid Hair girl. I could practically taste the piña colada from the scent.”
Russo said he thinks the explanation of Biden’s side job will appease confused voters. “I’m hopeful this revelation will make any images of Joe getting uncomfortably close to random women seem less creepy than he really is.”
Also from The Barbed Wire:
Ocasio-Cortez: Lincoln Might Be Alive Today If US Had Gun Control in 1860’s
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Border Update
BORDER WALL: On Friday, President Trump traveled to Calexico, California, to see the first completed section of the new wall along the U.S.–Mexico border. Continue reading
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Bits & Bytes
MASCOTS: On Sunday, Nonno and the Buzzers went to DC, parked near the Air and Space Museum, walked to the Washington Monument and around that area, then looped back along the tidal basin enjoying the cherry blossoms. They also dipped their feet in the beautiful fountain at the WWII memorial. And hurray! Buzz said, “Nonno,” for probably the first time ever. 🙂 (Reminder: He’s autistic. Speech is very hard for him.)
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Joe Biden Appointed as Head of TSA
From The Babylon Bee.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Amid a flurry of accusations of inappropriate touching and crowding people’s personal space leveled at former vice president Joe Biden, President Trump announced Friday that Biden is his appointment to the Transporation Security Administration.
Biden will be tasked with showing TSA agents how to violate people’s personal space and privacy in their daily groping of American citizens. He already has “dozens” of charts and infographics he began to hand out to TSA workers all across the country, creeping up on them and gingerly setting the files in their hands as he whispered his instructions in their ears.
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The Funny Overfloweth
A while back, I switched my blog work from gathering, then posting at the end of the same day, to gathering, then polishing and posting at the beginning of the next day. I think y’all are getting a better product. So anyhoops … I have been gathering for tomorrow’s Bits & Bytes and the list of funny videos got so long, I decided to give them to you now! Enjoy!
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polination.blog 