Brevity is the soul of wit (or twit,whatever the case may be)
Author Archives: Pistol Pete
#902 — STILL NO CLUE WHAT I’M DOING
When I works,I works hard
When I moves,I moves fast
When I thinks I falls asleep
Filed under Funny Stuff
DO YOU REMEMBER THESE???
As I whiz past my 900th post!
THIS POPULAR TOY WAS OUTLAWED DUE TO PEOPLE GETTING SKULL FRACTURES
I SAT ON THE BASEMENT STAIRS AND WATCHED GRANNY USE ONE OF THESE FOR HOURS BEFORE SHE TOOK THE CLOTHES OUTSIDE TO DRY ON A CLOTHESLINE IN THE SUNSHINE.NOTHING COMPARED TO SLEEPING ON AIR-DRIED SHEETS
SOME PEOPLE THOUGHT THESE WERE LIKE PIXIE STIX….THEY’RE NOT
C’MON,YOU KNOW YOU DID SOME SMOOCHIN’ HERE
ASIDE FROM HER STOVE,THIS WAS THE SUM TOTAL OF GRANNY’S KITCHEN APPLIANCES
I beg you forgiveness for indulging in a little nostalgia. These are all part of a happier time. Before January 2017 finally comes I fear there won’t be much left to look back on from what once made us great.
Filed under Nostalgia
PETE’S PAGE
The long-awaited start of training camp is upon us. My Beloved Bears report tomorrow!
Filed under Funny Stuff
ASSORTED CLAPTRAP
Sorry I couldn’t come up with a better title; my brain cells are on strike for a 10 brilliant thought an hour minimum wage.
VILE CODE PINK SOW MADEA BENJAMIN GETS PHOTOBOMBED BY AN ISRAEL SUPPORTER 
THIS IS NAVA PILLAY;SHE’S THE UNITED NATIONS RIGHTS COMMISSIONER. HER MOTHER WAS HELEN THOMAS.IT IS UNCLEAR WHETHER HER FATHER HAD ONE HUMP OR TWO 
Filed under Funny Stuff
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE
I want to personally thank all of you for remembering our family in your prayers. Through the tears we remained strong through our love of God and family. We chose to celebrate rather than mourn what cannot be changed. I met one of my cousins and his new wife….they’ve been married 29 years. He has 5 sons,1 daughter and more grandchildren than I do. I have a lot of catching up to do.
HOW ABOUT A FEW SMILES??
BLUEBIRD:I SAW THIS AND THOUGHT OF YOU
Filed under Funny Stuff
BRUCE R. BIRD JR., R.I.P.
Through the miracle of Facebook I reconnected with my cousin,Kathy,who is three years my senior. Her brother Bob is a year older than I and a co-conspirator in many shenanigans back in the day. They also have a sister,Caryl and a brother,Bruce. We shared many a Sunday dinner at the farm and every Thanksgiving and Christmas were special.
After our grandfather passed,the tendrils that held all the family together were severed. I’ve not seen any of them for decades–call it almost a lifetime. Last Wednesday my cousin Bruce’s son,Bruce Jr. was killed in a terrible car wreck at a busy intersection in our city. I never met the young man,but he was blood of my blood. I cannot imagine for the life of me what I would do if I lost one of my children. All any of us can do is offer prayers to see the family through this time of hardship. The visitation is tonight and the reunion with my cousins and their families will be bittersweet,indeed.
I recall after Granny suffered a series of strokes dementia was setting in. She’d wander out of my aunt’s house and down the street in her nightgown and not tell the police where she lived. I went to take her to lunch one day and after we got in the car and started off,she looked at me and said “it’s just terrible to have to bury a child.” Bruce’s dad, my Uncle Ron, and my mother had both already passed. It was then I knew she wasn’t quite as far gone as she let on. She just liked being a pain in my aunt’s behind. I would like to ask you to remember our family in your prayers. I’m sure it would be a comfort to them.
BRUCE R. BIRD JR., 31 MACHESNEY PARK – Bruce R. Bird Jr., 31, died unexpectedly Wednesday, July 16th, 2014. Bruce was a devoted loving father and a hard worker. He was a loyal Chicago Bulls and Bears fan and enjoyed watching many of the games with his dad. He enjoyed music, motorcycles and hanging out with friends and family. Bruce is survived by his father, Bruce R. Bird Sr.; brother, Joshua Bird; children, Shawn, Alyssa and Ayden; several aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and grandmother, Zella. He was preceded in death by his mother, Sandra. Bruce will be greatly missed by family and friends. A visitation to celebrate Bruce’s life will be from 6 until 8 p.m. Monday, July 21, 2014, at Sunset Funeral Home, 8800 N. Alpine Road in Machesney Park. A memorial for Bruce will be held at 6 p.m. Tuesday, July 22, 2014, at 4188 Lakeside Dr., Rockford, in the Lakewood Hills Subdivision. Cremation rites will be accorded after the visitation. Condolences may be sent to the family at sunsetfhmemgardens.com.
Filed under Family & Friends
IN PRAISE OF T.V. COURT SHOWS
Posted by PP.
DW has been watching these things for years. There’s a local station that has them on every weekday from 6:30AM until 11:00 and another channel has two from 11:00-1:00. Since I don’t spend hours getting angry and depressed over researching links for this blog I started watching them and found they are a good character study in the theater of the absurd.
Harry ‘The Smarmy Toad’ Reid made a comment about Judge Judy Sheindlin yesterday and I took the opportunity to express a non-partisan opinion.
Aside from Judge Judy,the gold standard with a viewership of about 11 million per day most judges on TV are either black or Hispanic.of course,there’s plenty of drama. After all,it’s entertainment. The litigants in most cases are black and the stories they tell to get on these shows reads like really bad fiction. Traffic accidents,landlord/renter disputes,couples break up and gifts are suddenly ‘loans’,siblings suing each other,parents suing their kids and neighbors at loggerheads. The amounts sued for range from $100 to the maximum in small claims court,$5,000.
Why would someone sue their brother or sister for $100? Because if a show picks your case you get flown to the city where the show is taped,you get put up in a nice hotel and meals are paid for. The hook is,if someone is awarded damages it comes out of a general fund and the rest of the pot is split. So when a judge says ‘judgement for the plaintiff’ it means that amount comes out of the pot before it is split.
On all the shows,most let litigants get away with way more than they ever would in a real court. Judge Judy is the least tolerant of shenanigans and has very little tolerance for people that live off welfare. She claims she and her friend,bailiff Petri Hawkins-Byrd (Byrd for short) are paying for these leeches through their taxes. The shows producers make her put up with some backtalk from litigants,but she doesn’t take very much.
Since I’m pretty much homebound this comedic theater is more fun to watch than any news channel. You just have to keep in mind that most of these Wal-Mart freaks are low-information,committed democrat-type voters. The commercials are all either personal injury lawyers,structured settlement funding places or pawn shops. Where else would they advertise?
Reid: Judge Judy Would Toss Boehner Lawsuit in ‘Half a Second’
“Republicans have made a decision on a lawsuit against President Obama. It’s difficult to understand how desperate they have become,” Reid said. “It’s a show trial. If that’s really what Republicans want, they should go talk to Judge Judy. I think she would throw this case out in half a second.”
WHILE I’M AT IT,HERE’S A STORY ABOUT SOME LOWE’S EMPLOYEES DOING WHAT THE VA REFUSES TO DO….RESPECT OUR VIETNAM VETERANS.
Lowe’s employees come to the rescue of disabled vet with broken wheelchair
By Michael Sulsona of Graniteville
In 1971, I stepped on a land mine in Vietnam and lost both legs above the knee.
For the past two years, I have been waiting to receive a new wheelchair from the Veterans Administration. In addition, I have been told that I am not entitled to a spare wheelchair.
On the evening of July 7, my wheelchair fell apart again, while shopping at Lowe’s Home Improvement Center in on Forest Avenue in Mariners Harbor.
Three employees, David, Marcus and Souleyman jumped to my assistance immediately. They placed me in another chair while they went to work.
They took the wheelchair apart and replaced the broken parts and told me, “We’re going to make this chair like new.”
I left 45 minutes after closing hours in my wheelchair that was like new.
I kept thanking them and all they could say was, “It was our honor.”
The actions of these three employees at Lowe’s showed me there are some who still believe in stepping to the plate.
They didn’t ask any questions, didn’t feel the need to fill out any forms or make phone calls. Someone needed help and they felt privileged to be given the opportunity.
SGT. HULKA: “LIGHTEN UP,FRANCIS.”
Filed under Funny Stuff
FRIDAY SMILES
Posted by PP
I can do this only because I don’t have to read or post anything about that smirking sonofabitch.Thats why I don’t post anymore.
Filed under Funny Stuff
polination.blog 