(From Mark Crutcher at Life Dynamics. Reprinted with permission.)
By now, most people probably know about the Susan G.Komen/ Planned Parenthood fiasco. To recap, Komen announced that it would no longer give money to Planned Parenthood; the baby-killing lobby immediately went into an apoplectic rage; right on cue, the mainstream media piled on Komen with an attack so vicious it could almost make you feel sorry for them. Finally, wearing their best “deer-in-the-headlights” look, Komen’s leadership rescinded the funding prohibition, rolled over onto their back and started begging Planned Parenthood not to hurt them anymore.
And with that, the curtain came down. Planned Parenthood had taught Komen that when you ride on the back of a shark, trying to dismount is dangerous.
After the smoke had cleared, a truly laughable moment was provided by godless-left gadfly, Anna Quindlen. She told a gathering of Planned Parenthood degenerates in Fort Worth that the lesson to be learned from this episode is that, “When you poke us women, we poke back.” Given that, by this point, Komen and Planned Parenthood had already kissed and made up, this warning was clearly directed at anyone who might, in the future, be tempted to challenge Komen or Planned Parenthood – most notably, the pro-life movement. Apparently, Quindlen had convinced herself that she could rattle her little pink saber and we would all go screaming into the night and cower under our beds.
But all I could think about was, “What the hell is this nitwit talking about?” I mean, this was basically a cat-fight within the pro-choice camp in which the pro-life movement was little more than a spectator. But somehow, these people are strutting around like it was us who ended up groveling at the feet of Planned Parenthood.
The reality is, from the perspective of the pro-life movement, everything ended up at the same place it started. In the beginning, an organization comprised of morally bankrupt pro-aborts was giving money to the country’s number one abortion profiteer. In the end, that was still the case.
However, even though the journey ended where it started, that doesn’t mean nothing good was accomplished along the way. It was.
First, the aura of credibility and prestige that the Susan G. Komen Foundation had cultivated was finally exposed as a fraud. They have long been tied to the abortion lobby and, now, everyone knows it.
Second, the stench of being associated with abortion was reinforced one more time. Once again, the public saw that abortion is a 220-volt wire that even its most ardent advocates do not want to touch.
Third, for this thing to unravel in just three days is a testament to Komen’s pathetically weak leadership. Furthermore, it is now going to give an untold amount of its donor’s money to a New York public relations agency in an attempt to repair the damage.
Fourth, the public saw Planned Parenthood turn on one of its own donors like a pack of rabid hyenas. It was a savage and low-class response that is completely within the character of Planned Parenthood. Hopefully, that fact won’t be lost on potential donors in the future.
Fifth, the media’s shameless bias and incompetence was again put on public display. When Komen said that they were discontinuing their funding to Planned Parenthood, the media instantly portrayed it as a result of pressure brought by “anti-abortion bullies and terrorists.” They did this despite there being no evidence to support this assertion and despite Komen’s assurances that it was not true. It should also be noted that, when Komen flopped, none of these people attributed it to bullying or terrorism by Planned Parenthood fanatics.
Now, in an effort to justify Komen’s decision to restore Planned Parenthood funding, its defenders are resorting to some of their stale old arguments. For example, they are saying that Planned Parenthood is the only source of healthcare for many poor women. This ignores the fact that every dollar given to Planned Parenthood can be just as easily given to a legitimate healthcare provider. It is a scandal and an obscenity that we relegate the poor to getting their healthcare from abortionists. Be assured that, among the wealthy, the political power structure, the media elite, and all the others who are so quick to tout Planned Parenthood’s virtues for the poor, none of them would be caught dead getting their own healthcare from these people.
Another tactic Komen defenders are using is to claim that the money it gives to Planned Parenthood does not promote or pay for abortions. This is nonsense. Once a dollar is put into an organization’s account, it is indistinguishable from any other dollar put into the account. It’s like pouring water from several sources into a bucket. Once it’s poured in, there is no way to restrict which water can be taken out and used for a particular purpose. The fact is, as long as Planned Parenthood is doing abortions, it cannot be honestly stated that money given to them is insulated from abortion.
Komen’s people are also defending their actions by contending that abortion is only a tiny percentage of what Planned Parenthood does. There are, of course, several flaws with this claim – not the least of which is the fact that it is a lie. Simply analyze Planned Parenthood’s own financial data and it becomes clear that abortion is, in fact, a major part of their business. It should also be noted that the pro-life movement has never claimed that killing babies is all that Planned Parenthood does. We have merely pointed out that they kill more babies than any one else. And that is undeniable.
But even if it were true that abortion is only a small part of what Planned Parenthood does, it’s irrelevant. It’s no different than some apologist for Adolph Hitler saying that killing Jews was only a small part of what the Nazis did, or someone defending the Klan by claiming that lynching was only a small part of what they did. Or imagine some guy convicted for bank robbery whining that his trial was unfair because he wasn’t given credit for all the banks he didn’t rob.
Another excuse offered by Komen’s defenders is that many of Planned Parenthood’s facilities don’t even do abortions. And once more, this is completely irrelevant. The fact is, there is not one Planned Parenthood facility in America that does not either do abortions or refer for abortions. And whether the people associated with the Susan G. Komen Foundation or Planned Parenthood want to own up to it or not, the blood of any child snuffed out by abortion is on the hands of every person who played a role in making that abortion happen. To put it bluntly, they don’t have to actually hold the knife in order to be responsible for the killing.
Filed under Abortion, Media Bias, Planned Parenthood
When the guys got together for poker on Friday night, one of the regulars was missing.
“Where’s Frank?” Charlie asked.
“In the hospital,” Joe said. “He’s recovering from a heart attack.”
“Holy crap!” Hank said. “How’d that happen?”
“It was that blizzard,” Joe said. “Frank’s doctor warned him his heart was weak, and he had to avoid all strenuous activity. He said absolutely no snow shoveling.”
“Guess Frank didn’t listen to him,” George said.
“Sure he listened,” Joe said. “Frank’s no idiot.”
“So what happened?” Charlie asked.
“Well,” Joe said, “when we had all that snow yesterday, Frank said he didn’t know what to do. His wife can’t shovel ’cause she’s got a bad back, and Frank can’t shovel ’cause he’s got a bad heart, and they can’t afford to buy a snowblower. Then that lazy good-for-nothing teenage son of theirs suddenly pipes up, ‘Don’t worry, Mom and Dad — from now on I’ll do all the shoveling.’ Frank had a heart attack on the spot.”
Comments Off on Blizzard claims another victim
Filed under Funny Stuff
Dec. 25
My dearest darling Edward,
What a wonderful surprise! That sweet little partridge, in that lovely little pear-tree; what an enchanting, romantic gift! Thank you, and bless you.
Your deeply loving
Emily
Dec. 26
My beloved Edward,
The two turtle-doves arrived this morning, and are cooing away in the pear-tree as I write. I’m so touched and grateful!
With undying love,
Emily
Dec. 27
My darling Edward,
You do think of the most original presents! Who ever thought of sending anybody three French hens? Do they really come all the way from France? It’s a pity we have no chicken coops, but I expect we’ll find some. Anyway, thank you so much; they’re lovely.
Your devoted
Emily
Dec. 28
Dearest Edward,
What a surprise! Four calling birds arrived this morning. They are very sweet, even if they do call rather loudly — they make telephoning almost impossible — but I expect they’ll calm down when they get used to their new home. Anyway, I’m very grateful, of course.
Love,
Emily
Dec. 29
Dearest Edward,
The mailman has just delivered five most beautiful gold rings, one for each finger! A really lovely present! Lovelier, in a way, than birds, which do take rather a lot of looking after. The four that arrived yesterday are still making a terrible row, and I’m afraid none of us got much sleep last night. Mother says she wants to use the rings to wring their necks. Mother has such a sense of humor. She’s only joking, I think, but I do know what she means. Still, I love the rings.
Bless you,
Emily
Dec. 30
Dear Edward,
Whatever I expected to find when I opened the front door this morning, it certainly wasn’t six socking great geese laying eggs all over the porch. Frankly, I rather hoped that you had stopped sending me birds. We have no room for them, and they’ve already ruined the croquet lawn. I know you meant well, but let’s call a halt, shall we?
Love,
Emily
Dec. 31
Edward,
I thought I said NO MORE BIRDS! This morning I woke up to find seven swans, all trying to get into our goldfish pond. I’d rather not think what’s happened to the goldfish. The whole house seems to be full of birds, to say nothing of what they leave behind them, so please, please, STOP!
Emily
Jan. 1
Frankly, I prefer the birds. What am I to do with eight milkmaids? And their cows? Is this some kind of a joke? If so, I’m afraid I don’t find it very amusing.
Emily
Jan. 2
Look here, Edward, this has gone far enough. You say you’re sending me nine ladies dancing. All I can say is, judging from the way they dance, they’re certainly not ladies. The village just isn’t accustomed to seeing a regiment of shameless viragos cavorting round the green, and it’s Mother and I who get the blame. If you value our friendship, which I do less and less, kindly stop this ridiculous behavior at once!
Emily
Jan. 3
As I write this letter, ten disgusting old men are prancing up and down all over what used to be the garden, before the geese and the swans and the cows got at it. And several of them are taking inexcusable liberties with the milkmaids. Meanwhile, the neighbors are trying to have us evicted. I hope you’re satisfied.
Emily
Jan. 4
This is the last straw! You know I detest bagpipes! The place has now become something between a menagerie and a madhouse, and a man from the council has just declared it unfit for habitation. At least Mother has been spared this last outrage; they took her away yesterday afternoon in an ambulance. I shall never speak to you again.
Jan. 5
Sir:
My client, Miss Emily Wellington, instructs me to inform you that with the arrival on her premises at 6:00 this morning of the entire percussion section of the London Symphony Orchestra, she has no course left open to her but to seek an injunction to prevent you importuning her further. I am making arrangements for the return of much assorted livestock.
Yours faithfully,
Samuel Edelstein, Attorney-at-Law
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Filed under Funny Stuff, Holidays
December 6
To: All Employees
I’m happy to announce that the company Christmas party will take place on December 23 at Billy Bob’s Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and the local River City Ramblers Bluegrass Band will be playing traditional Christmas carols. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 7
To: All Employees
In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas. So from now on we’re calling it our “Holiday Party.” The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa. There will be no Christmas tree and no Santa Claus, and no Christmas carols will be sung. Happy holidays to you and your family.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 9
To: All Employees
Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I’m happy to accommodate this request; but don’t forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, “AA Only,” you won’t be anonymous anymore.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 13
To: All Employees
I’ve arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gay men may sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men; each will have their own table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men’s table. Happy now?
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 16
To: All Employees
Vegetarians! I’ve had it with you people!! We’re going to hold this party at Billy Bob’s Open Pit whether you like it or not! You can just sit at the table farthest from the “Grill of Death,” as you put it, and you’ll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them right now! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, y’all hear me?
Patty Lewis
The Bitch from Hell
December 19
To: All Employees
I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her nervous breakdown. I’ll continue to forward your cards to her at the psych ward at St. Luke’s Hospital. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Terri Jones
Acting Human Resources Director
Filed under Funny Stuff, Holidays
Filed under Funny Stuff, Holidays
My daughter’s cat seems to have one, too. This is what happens when you leave the stable on the floor while you go to search for the figurines.
Filed under Funny Stuff
For What a Hoot, and anyone else who likes owls (and it would be pretty hard not to like this little cutie)…
Filed under Loose Pollen