Category Archives: Funny Stuff

Posted by Pistol Pete

A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.

H. L. Mencken

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

W. C. Fields

Posted by Pistol Pete

To make sense of what’s going on in Europe,you must first understand Obama the way the genuine tyrants of the world know him to be. He has ducked responsibility for everything his entire life. It’s like being hired to do a job and hiding in the bathroom all day,only coming out for lunch and quitting time….and complaining how hard you worked. And working on his acceptance speech for his expected employee of the month award.

He got his state senate seat by getting his opponents’ nominating petitions tossed out for invalid signatures and his US Senate seat by getting sealed divorce records opened to blackmail the republican who was poised to defeat him. While in the state senate he never authored a single bill. The senate majority leader, Emil Phillips, wrote a couple minor pieces for him to put his name on. The rest of the time he always voted ‘present’ so as not to be pinned down on anything. He  had to spend millions to hide his college transcripts for a reason. Likely he never did anything significant and skated by because he was black. As head of the Harvard Law Review,he never wrote a single word we’ve been allowed to see. We have seen some of the Wookie’s writings and even then she oozed racial fury and white hatred.

If we know this,Putin surely knew it. He was smart enough to wait until after Barky became ‘more flexible’ before planning his takeover of Eastern Europe. Even Hamid Karzai,who is so corrupt he’d make a democrat senator green with envy, is thumbing his nose at Jugears. The surrender-monkey-in-charge has already announced he’s cutting and running from Afghanistan and Karzai has already made some kind of deal with the Taliban when they rush in after we pull out. Between Iraq and Afghanistan we’ve spent a lot of blood and treasure to see this filth make the sacrifice worthless because he has no guts and doesn’t care about anything but his own good time.

Bill Clinton’s controversial couplings has reached a new level after he was pictured spending time with prostitutes at a recent charity event. The former President was in Los Angeles on Thursday and photographed with two female attendees who work as legal prostitutes in Nevada. Identified as Ava Adora and Barbie Girl by TMZ, both of the women are known to work at the Bunny Ranch brothel near Carson City.

The Crooked Penis is salivating at getting back into the Spite house so the taxpayers can foot the bill for his whoring.

BARKY SENT OUT THIS TWEET COMMEMORATING THE 95TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE GRAND CANYON NATIONAL PARK.WHAT ELSE DID YOU EXPECT TO SEE?

THIS IS A REAL FLOAT THAT WILL APPEAR IN THE MARDI GRAS PARADE THIS WEEK.

Apparently,not everyones in N’Awlins is that into Dear Reader anymore

THIS SELFIE OF A PACK OF SELF-IMPORTANT,OVERINDULGED,OVERPAID WEENIES SET A RECORD FOR RETWEETS AT THE OSCARS LAST NIGHT.

Wait till you see what the nominees got in their goodie bags.

Posted by Pistol Pete

Today’s post is totally non-political. If nobody’s interested,I don’t know what to tell you.

In 1922,American satirist,H.L. Mencken wrote:

posted by Pistol Pete

Arizona governor Jan Brewer faced a choice between doing what was right and doing what was expedient. Under immense pressure,she chose expediency. The professional bullies score another victory. Apparently religious freedom for Christians must be subordinated to the will of liberal social engineers. Himmler-Holder has exhorted state AG’s to ignore gay marriage bans,a liberal Texas judge ruled that states’ ban on gay marriage as unconstitutional, and her in Illinois,the lib-dominated legislature approved it last fall,to go into effect in June. Last Friday,a leftist Chicago judge said ‘why wait?’ as the carpet munchers and rump rangers rushed to Cook County to get hitched. The Saturday edition of both the Chicago Sun Times and Tribune ran a front page photo of an attractive,30ish lesbian couple,rather than a couple ugly-ass crossdressers with mustaches. Just a little media manipulation there.
Here is Gov. Brewer in her surrender speech.

Posted by Pistol Pete

Correction to yesterdays post…it was my 800th,not 700th.The editor regrets the error.

I see our page hits are back down in the 20’s. I have that effect on people.

MEET DEBBIE DINGELL,AGED 60 WITH HER MUMMIFIED SUGAR DADDY,AGE ABOUT 228. HE HAS BEEN IN CONGRESS 58 YEARS,FOLLOWING HIS DADDY WHO HAD IT FOR 20 YEARS. POLITICAL EXPERTS SAY THE TRANSFER OF THE POSITION FROM THE WALKING DEAD TO THE WOMAN WHO MARRIED HIM STRICTLY FOR LOVE 30 YEARS AGO,I’M SURE,WILL BE SMOOTH AND SEAMLESS. GOD BLESS STUPID DEMOCRAT VOTERS.

THIS REMINDS ME OF A LINE ELI WALLACH,THE JEWISH MEXICAN HAD IN A FILM LONG AGO…’IF GOD HAD NOT MEANT FOR THEM TO BE SHORN,HE WOULD NOT HAVE MADE THEM SHEEP.’

THIS IS McCONNELL’S DEMOCRAT OPPONENT, ALISON LUNDERGAN GRIMES, POSING WITH THE CROOKED PENIS.

YOU HAVE TO WONDER WHERE HIS OTHER HAND IS.

I CAN’T SAY IT ANY BETTER THAN THIS

Posted by Pistol Pete

This is also my anniversary. I won’t say how long DW and I have been married, but Moses was my best man and I borrowed ten bucks from Jesus for the license.

Added by CtH:

For today,I thought I’d equate liberals with the seven deadly sins.

(an original thought….who knew?)

1. Pride: equate with arrogance. The attitude that they’re morally and intellectually superior and have the right to tell us what we must do because it’s for our own good.

2. Envy: the very essence of income inequality. Wanting what other people have worked for without any sacrifice on your part.

3. Gluttony: There are almost 100 million on food stamps. So why are so many welfare parasites so fat??

4. Lust: The incestuous relationship between liberal politicians and media hacks are well documented. All I can say is: Bill Clinton. I rest my case.

5. Anger: It’s their principle tactic and the only way they can keep the ignorant motivated to get off their lazy behinds and vote for the party that’s kept them down for 50 years. An unhappiness that comes from no relationship with God and no capacity for compassion. From 2009 to 2011 they ran the entire government and were still unhappy.

6. Greed: Those who spend other peoples’ hard-earned money freely,will not part with their own. Democrats give almost nothing to charity of their own volition.

7. Sloth: Liberals have created a culture which has seen generations of families living entirely on the government dole with no desire whatever to do anything for themselves. They have willingly traded their self-respect and dignity for a paltry existence thanks to other peoples’ labor.

Rats leaving a sinking ship. In this photo of Bozo signing Deathcare,seven of the liberls pictured have retired: Tom Harkin,Chris Dodd,John Dingell,Patches Kennedy,George Miller,Henry ‘the schnoz’ Waxman and Max Baucus,who was rewarded with an ambassadorship to China.

Just like a liberal who is pretty damn brave when everything is going their way,but when they are facing defeat they show their heels.

Posted by Pistol Pete

No idea where this is going,but it’s not going to be pretty. To those of you sensitive or easily offended,please leave this page now.

The bastards got me.

Don Manzullo was my congressman for 20 years. He came from the small farming community of Egan,Ill.,and when he was home you could usually find him at his family’s Italian restaurant in a wide spot in Hwy 251 called New Milford. After the last census,the vile pukes who have turned this state into a third-world toilet shoved the 16th and 17th district,which was represented by Adam Kinzinger, into one huge district,thereby guaranteeing they’d gerrymander one republican out of his job. Kinzinger won. I didn’t know much about him except he’s an Iraq War veteran and women think he’s a hunk. I heard an audio clip last week on WLS-AM where Kinzinger was at some sort of conference blaming talk radio for the amnesty bill not going anywhere. He said talk radio kept the Tea Partiers worked up to draw audiences. ‘What’s more constitutional than going to committee?’ he quipped. Apparently he has been fitted for a harness and joined the go-along-to-get-along crowd.

Great. Now I have a ‘moderate’ congressman,a mushy senator named Mark Kirk,who’s never met a democrat he couldn’t surrender his principles to,and a festering boil on a nanny goat’s ass named “Needle” Dick Dirtpile. He’s up for reelection this year and his GOP opponent will probably be Jim Oberweis,whose family has a huge dairy operation. Oberweis has run for senate,governor,and,I believe,toll booth operator. Durtbutt could lose every county in the state except Cook and still win another term. He’s one of only a handful who are proudly running on the nightmare he voted to shove down everybody’s throat. Most of his voters either get their healthcare subsidized or belong to a public union.

What is so depressing about doing this is researching websites day after day and seeing the halfrican and his whores look into a camera and blatantly lie with a smirk because they know their bullshit will be swallowed by the ignorant,naive and political idolators. It’s not that hard when the media never,ever challenges any of the crap you’re selling. It’s the liberals’ game and they make up the rules for everybody else as they go along. We should gain a lot of seats this year over anger at Obamacare but it will be to no avail. The GOP-e will allow the dems to obstruct,rewrite bills and add all the pork they want in the interest of ‘bipartisanship.’ The republicans will never make any difference because they are not willing to lie,cheat and steal to get what they want like democrats do. They have no stomach for a real fight because they fear what the New York Slimes and Washington Compost will say about them.

Another scource of frustration is that not a single day goes by when I don’t see acts of criminality done to innocent white people,old,young,innocent by the feral primates who crawl down out of the trees to inflict pain out of greed or just for fun. Back in the day,bad behavior was punished and good always won out in the end. Not so anymore. There are about 2% of the population committing almost 80% of violent crime.

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS PICTURE…YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION IS PROBABLY RIGHT

THESE TWO MONGREL BROKE INTO THE HOME OF AN 86 YEAR OLD KOREAN WAR VETERAN AND BEAT HIM SO BADLY HE LATER DIED. AS YET THEY’RE STILL ONLY CHARGED WITH ATTEMPTED SECOND-DEGREE MURDER. CAN YOU SEE THE REMORSE IN THEIR  BOOKING PHOTOS?DO YOU THINKWE SHOULD TRY TO UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO BE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST LIKE THEY CLAIM TO BE??

Granted,I only have contact with two,both of whom carry papers in the morning and both have full time jobs. They are good men,not punks. I can only go by what I see.

I REPORTED THAT HEINRICH HIMMLER-HOLDER IS TRYING TO GET VOTING RIGHTS FOR FELONS. THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF THEM. BARRY WILL PROBABLY SIGN AN EO. THAT’S WHAT HE USUALLY DOES.

I just reach a point where the lies,the hypocrisy,the violence,the jeers,the smirks,the defending the indefensible gets to be too much.

I am terrified that the Butcher will slither back into the Spite Hut,since she’s already polling miles ahead of anybody on the planet. A lot of women will vote for her just because she’s (allegedly) a woman just as a lot of white-guilters voted for Bozo because he has a nice tan. I stand a better than even chance of surviving the end of the Obama regime(if he doesn’t decide to appoint himself ruler-for-life) but at the end of Killary’s first term I would be 70,which is highly doubtful given my health. There is virtually no chance I’d see the end of her second term.

CtH: Saw this at Twitchy and had to share.

THE BEST WEATHER FORECAST EVER! <– MUST see, don’t EAT or DRINK

CtH: A friend sent this back to me and I had to add it!

bluebird of bitterness adds: