Explaining Space to Space Force

This piece by DefConNews was too good to skip.

Someone wise, I forget who, described Kamala Harris’ word salads as being like a kid giving a book report on a book she didn’t read. The illegitimate vp was in California, addressing Space Force and she obviously hadn’t prepared. Instead of saying anything of substance she chose to explain the concept of space…to Space Force.

In your daily reminder that Kamala Harris sucks, here she is at Vandenberg Space Force base talking to space experts like they are children:

“Whether it is satellites that orbit the Earth, humans that land on the moon, or telescopes that peer into the furthest reaches of the universe, space is exciting,” said Harris.

She delivered that line like she was reading a book to kindergartners with wide sweeping gestures and over-annunciation.

“It spurs our imaginations and it forces us to ask big questions. Space, it affects us all and it connects us all,” Harris said.

At this point all of the members of Space Force who were forced into Kamala Harris’ space are going, “Oh, so that’s what space is. Thanks, Kamaltoe.”

You may have noticed that what Harris said is actually nothing. She didn’t describe what space is, she just tossed a word salad like: “Space is everything to everyone.”

What are the big questions space forces us to ask? How does space affect us all? How does space connect us all? If you want the answers to these questions you’ll have to read the space book that Kamala didn’t read.

From there, Kamala went on to try to explain the difference between right and wrong, something no democrat understands:

“In recent months, you’ve heard the president and me talk a lot about defending international norms and rules. Rules and norms. Our shared principals that guide the behavior of people and of communities. They are common understandings of what is right, of what is wrong, and what is acceptable,” said Harris.

Until that point, nobody had any idea what “rules” are. Thanks again, Kamaltoe.

Since nobody was paying attention, Harris then invented a new country:

“I’ve met with leaders from around the world. Countries like Singapore and France, Beyran and India,” said Harris.

I’m sorry, who is the leader of Beran? Maybe she said “Bae-ran,” which is her affectionate term for Iran. As we know, the Biden administration loves them some Islamic state sponsors of terrorism.

It’s possible that she actually said “Beyran in India” but that don’t make a lick of sense. The current president of India is Ram Nath Kovind which is close but not close enough.

The point, if there was one, of this Harris visit was to announce that satellites are awesome. Luckily Harris was on hand to explain what satellites do:

“Critical infrastructure like wind turbines that power our homes, well they rely on satellites for connectivity. Satellites help us track the climate crisis,” Harris said.

Damn, satellites are awesome.

This wouldn’t be a Kamaltoe shitshow without some cackling and she didn’t disappoint when she busted up saying the following:

“I spoke earlier this month with Mark Vande Hei, who just returned from 355 days in space on the space station. American record,” Harris said.

Gosh, that is hilarious.

While it sucked for me to watch this pointless speech and transcribe it, the real heroes are the brave men and women of the U.S. Space Force who had to stand behind Kamala Harris, enduring it live. That’s a mission no soldier should be forced into.


Filed under Loose Pollen

3 responses to “Explaining Space to Space Force

  1. One of my pet peeves is when people take one look at me, deduce that I’m old, assume that because I’m old I must also be senile, and then proceed to talk to me as if I were senile. It takes all the self-control I can muster to keep from decking them. If I ever met Kamala, I might not be able to resist the urge.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. chrissythehyphenated

    I’m guessing some of the dumber lines from her speech will be enshrined in Space Force joke lore.

    Liked by 1 person