Posted by Pistol Pete
Normally there aren’t too many people around on Saturday,but since I had a lot to do yesterday I thought I’d do a short post in case anybody cared.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,YOU BLEEDING BEIGE BASTARD
THE WHITE HUT HAS OFFERED A LINE OF ONESIES WITH THE LGBT IN MIND
MY MOM NEVER BREAST-FED ME;SHE SAID WE WERE JUST FRIENDS
Bob adds:
Filed under Funny Stuff
Posted by Pistol Pete
When I finish today’s post I have to go to the county courthouse to get a copy of my birth certificate.(Yes,I have one!) because I’m filing for retirement next week.With my luck I’ll have to stop by Home Depot and get an illegal to carry my BC since its probably chipped in stone.Which reminds me I still owe Jesus three bucks.How old am I really?I can remember when the Dead Sea was just ailing.
There are some things going on in the world today,but The First Sphincter sort of sucked up all the oxygen yesterday.The first few posts ain’t gonna be pretty.
Filed under Loose Pollen
Posted by Pistol Pete
Nancy Pelosi has signed a contract to represent the new Black and Decker Heavy Duty Belt Sander.She claims they are the best for removing makeup.
Michelle Obama attended a rookie camp for the Green Bay Packers this week;when she left she crammed two footballs down the back of her pants to take home for souvenirs.Nobody noticed.
KEEP READING,FOLKS.ITS ABOUT TO GET STRANGE UP IN HERE.
Filed under Funny Stuff
Posted by Pistol Pete
Given the trials you face every day I thought the best gift I could send you was the gift of laughter.Hope you enjoyed your day!
The Obama campaign advance team said yesterday in view of the poorly attended kickoff rally the next event will be held at Goldie’s Tattoo and Massage Parlor in Chillicothe,Ohio.Good seats are still available and a luncheon may be served depending on whether or not Moochele shows up.
On Sunday Joe Biden declared he is “perfectly comfortable” with gay marriage.He also stated he preferred KY jelly as a lubricant and favors Cover Girl base makeup to hide the whisker burns.
Elizabeth Warren,looking to burnish her Native American cred,changed her name to Princess Squat-en-got-it.Her great-great-great grandmother was married to Chief Rain-in-the-Face.Her name was Princess Pain-in-the-Ass.
Obama announced plans today to increase our strategic oil reserve by wringing out Debbie Washerwoman-Schultz’ hair.
Yesterday the CIA uncovered a plot to make more underwear bombs in Yemen.They were tipped off when an informant showed them a pair of shorts that were labeled Fruit of the Boom.
In a related case,a suspected terrorist was detained aboard a US-bound flight when a flight attendant noticed him squirming in his seat and suspected him of smuggling small fur-bearing rodents.Air Marshals found an explosive device in his underwear along with a fig, two dates and a half-eaten goatcheese and olive sandwich.
ADDED BY CtH … I went looking for a ROFL graphic to thank you for the belly laughs but none of the pics spoke to me. Then I found this, which made me howl, so here you go, Pete. ROFLMAO!!
Filed under Funny Stuff
Posted by Pistol Pete
I’m feeling Goofy today.(Don’t tell Minnie Mouse,she’ll get jealous.)
George “Goober” Lindsey,star of the Andy Griffith Show died yesterday.He was 83 years ols.He is survived by his half-brother, ‘Goober Junior’,also known as the Vice President of the United States.
Sarah Jessica Parker was at the Kentucky Derby Saturday.She finished a disappointing 7th,blaming it on her new shoes.
Obama has invited the new French president to the White Hut for a visit.Obama plans to give him a signed copy of his book,the Pomposity of Dope.
Hollande will give Obama a gallon of suntan lotion.
I thought these up this morning while I was delivering the papers.If you like them,I could try to post a few as events warrant.
Filed under Loose Pollen
Posted by Pistol Pete
I could arrange the links in concise,orderly fashion-but that wouldn’t be my style
A GATHERING OF ALL THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE FOR KILLING BIN LADEN..ACCORDING TO THE NAIROBI NITWIT
Filed under Barack Obama, Funny Stuff, Osama bin Laden
Posted by Pistol Pete
I promise to post some uplifting things today.
NO,NOT THAT!
Filed under Loose Pollen
Posted by Pistol Pete
Filed under Elizabeth Warren, Funny Stuff, George Zimmerman, Race Relations
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