Category Archives: Funny Stuff

PETE’S PAGE

Posted by Pistol Pete

The old English definition of a gentleman is one who never knowingly gives offense.The WalMart post yesterday was an attempt to demonstrate absurdity by being absurd.To those who were offended,my apologies.Just keep in mind these people reproduce….and vote.

It seems the last few days there have been a spate of the Bamster’s loyal media slaves showing disloyalty.As Greg Gutfeld commented the other day,its like putting a rug over the blood stain for the open house until after the property is sold.Now that he’s untouchable they can nip at his heels a little.

Every one of the dems that are up for reelection next year are suddenly all in favor of delaying the individual mandate until AFTER the election.Go figure.My personal opinion,which is worth zero,is that Barry didn’t care if the website was a disaster,he just wanted the monstrosity enacted,which makes it harder to repeal.For what its worth,he cannot delay the deadline without an act of Congress.Of course,we all have seen the regard he holds the law in.

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BIDEN HAS BEEN MISSING SINCE THE SHUTDOWN…THEY FINALLY FOUND HIM

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SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF

Posted by Pistol Pete

After Grunt commented about people at WalMart(or was it chrissy?) I did some digging and believe it or not,there are websites dedicated to the freakazoids that inhabit your neighborhood supercenter.There are so many,I’ll probably have to do two posts.They’re that funny/frightening.These people actually exist!

Take a look at some of these and think to yourself:there but for the grace of God,go I.

 

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PETE’S PAGE (FKA THE GRUDGE)

Posted by Pistol Pete

The grudge as you knew it has gone away. I’m going to try to keep my postings as minimally political as I can. CtH does such a much better job than my cutting and pasting. Also,I don’t have the intestinal fortitude to spend hours and hours knee-deep in the raw sewage that passes for political discourse these days. I will attempt to keep it light,no outrages and a little fresh air. I have some cool things in mind. Stay tuned.

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YOUR FRIDAY FIX-ME-UP

It’s been a week,hasn’t it? Anger,outrage,frustration and betrayal. It’s not like the outcome wasn’t predetermined,but it’s still depressing to watch helplessly as Oblahblah takes out his weiner and whizzes on us. “If you don’t like some piece of legislation,win some elections.”

I’m going to forget about McConnell’s bribe-taking and Boehner’s utter cowardice. I’m going on a very special trip with some special peopleI haven’t told you about yet. I will Monday. Till then,try to relax. The bridle is more comfortable if you don’t take the bit in your teeth.

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College football

College football

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Even the bison know it’s B(ho)S#1T

The Bison should be the official animal for the Conservative party!

Oct 6, 2013: Wyoming Bison vs. Government Shutdown [:43]

This barricade was sitting on a turn out next to the Gros Ventre road about a mile north of Kelly Wyoming. Guess the bison don’t like the government shutdown either. Somehow I feel humans will be blamed for this vandalism, so I’m sending a link to the proper authorities. 🙂

Source:

http://twitchy.com/2013/10/12/viral-video-barrycade-no-match-for-wyoming-bison/

Comments Off on Even the bison know it’s B(ho)S#1T

Filed under Funny Stuff, Government Shutdown

TAKE A BREAK

Posted by Pistol Pete

I’ve been keeping up with the latest atrocities being perpetrated by skimming the news and mainly reading everything Chrissy’s been posting. IMHO,she certainly goes above and beyond. Just thought since it’s Friday I’d post some things to maybe lift your spirits a little. I’ll start posting the Grudge again in the near future. Meanwhile,take a break,have some fun.

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THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GRAPE APE DOESN’T USE A CONDOM

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Spite House toons

2013_10 11 Greetings from the Spite House pc

2013_10 11 Holding his breath toon

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Filed under Barack Obama, Funny Stuff, Government Shutdown

President Petulant still governing by temper tantrum

“President Obama has officially canceled his trip to Asia. He said he didn’t want to be in Indonesia not doing anything to solve the crisis when he could be in Washington not doing anything to solve it.

“Actually, it’s the perfect time for President Obama to go to Asia. I mean, what better time to leave Joe Biden in charge of the country than during a shutdown?

“This shutdown is hurting everyone. Today, Michelle Obama told fat kids, ‘You’re on your own. Eat a Happy Meal. I don’t care.'” —Jay Leno

“Obama’s exploitation of the government shutdown (never let a good crisis go to waste) is a classic old method mastered by the likes of CPUSA. It’s standard operating procedure. What you’re witnessing is Barack Obama’s ‘shutdown campaign’ — and with the liberal media dutifully on his side to amplify the effort.

“Here today, in our new America, our own federal government has gotten into the propaganda business full throttle. Its exploitation of the shutdown is shameless. Sure, we expect congressional Democrats to accuse Republicans of starving children, old people, kittens, puppies, fish, and birds; of wanting to kill your grandmother; of gleefully polluting the atmosphere; of hating black people, gays, Latinos, women; of hoping no child gets an education or a school lunch. You know the drill. Democrats do this regardless of whether they have the White House. …

“But the performance has reached a higher, uglier decibel level under the Obama administration. This is hardly a surprise, given Barack Obama’s upbringing, mentors, radical associates, and the crucial fact that he was a community organizer who studied and taught Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals. That was Obama’s formative experience for his job today, and it has equipped him for the task at hand. …

“As has been reported, and is unmistakably evident to all but the most naïve, federal employees have been ordered to exploit this crisis, to make the government shutdown as uncomfortable as they can. The White House is actively soliciting complaints from the general public on ‘how the government shutdown has affected you.’ These testimonies are tools sought for the propaganda kit; the better to agitate with.” —Paul Kengor

“Almost a million non-essential government employees were let go. Well, isn’t that the problem, that there’s that many non-essential employees?” —David Letterman

“Government wants you to play a role in the ‘shutdown’ of the federal government. Your role is to panic.

“Republicans and Democrats both assume that shutting some government is a terrible thing. The press concurs. ‘Shutdown threatens fragile economy,’ warns Politico. ‘Federal workers turn to prayer,’ laments The Washington Post.

“If the public starts noticing that life goes on as usual without all 3.4 million federal workers, we might get dangerous ideas, like doing without so much government. Politicians don’t want that. They’d rather have us worry about how America will cope.

“President Obama gave a speech where he actually said we need to keep government open for the sake of people like the person working for the Department of Agriculture ‘out there helping some farmers make sure that they’re making some modest profit,’ and the Department of Housing and Urban Development ‘helping somebody buy a house for the first time.’

“Give me a break. Farmers don’t need bureaucrats to teach them how to make a profit, and Americans can buy first homes without HUD helping a chosen few. Americans would make more profit and afford better homes if they didn’t have to spend a third of national income on federal taxes.” —John Stossel

“Nonessential government services have been put on hold. Flight safety inspectors furloughed. National monuments closed. The Grand Canyon is closed — they filled it with spackle. Passport offices have been closed too. Interesting fact: Passport lines take exactly the same amount of time whether the passport office is open or not.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Could this be the end of Monument Syndrome? Across the country, ordinary Americans are rising up in revolt against the old Washington tactic of closing public parks and memorials during selective government ‘shutdowns’ to score political points. Tax-paying tourists are tossing off the orange traffic cones and ‘Barrycades.’ Enough is enough. …

“From closing down parts of the ocean around Florida to booting elderly citizens from their private homes on Lake Mead to shutting down private restaurants and farms that just happen to sit on federal land, the Democrats’ overreach has finally backfired.

“The explanation for this ridiculous Obama obstructionism can be summed up in one word: Control. Control of the people. Control of the partisan narrative. Monument Syndrome, perfected under the Clinton administration, is about inflicting the most visible pain on citizens to demonize political opponents. Big-government advocates in the media enabled the manipulators.

“For decades, taxpayers were passive pawns in this gamesmanship. No more. Monument Syndrome, R.I.P.” —Michelle Malkin

“Democrats have shut down government because they want to fine you for not buying a product you don’t want from a website that doesn’t work.” —Rep. Steve Stockman

“The shutdown means the national zoo is closed. Who’ll feed the animals? Is anyone even there to lock them up at night? Pretty soon starving lions and tigers could charge out of the zoo. They’d devour the fattest, dumbest people on Capitol Hill. Actually that might be the answer to all of the problems.” —Craig Ferguson

For further enlightenment:

The Shutdown Government: Powerful, Punitive, and Petty, by Mollie Hemingway

Priests Threatened with Arrest if They Minister to Military During Shutdown, by Alex Pappas

The List: Unnecessarily Shut Down by Obama to Inflict Public Pain, by John Nolte

Gestapo Tactics Meet Senior Citizens at Yellowstone, by John Macone

Tour Your Shut-Down National Parks, by Kate Zickel

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Filed under Barack Obama, Funny Stuff, Government Shutdown, Michelle Obama, Saul Alinsky

Our national nightmare: week 2

(The following appeared on Planet Moron on October 7, 2013.)

Driving south on the George Washington Parkway Friday night we noticed the Park Service had already replaced the barricades on the scenic overlook/vacant parking lot that someone (not us, we swear) had taken down.

As the government shutdown enters its second week, scenes such as that were repeated all over the country, as guards removed vets who were attempting to look at the Vietnam Memorial, which consists of a wall of granite set into a hill outside in the open mall that runs from the Lincoln Memorial to the Capitol Building that was otherwise open.

Likewise, barricades were placed around the Iwo Jima Memorial in Arlington, Virginia. These were pushed aside by the vets who had actually taken Iwo Jima in the first place despite, if we remember our history correctly, Japanese positions heavily fortified with orange cones and withering displays of yellow police tape.

Additionally, the feds also closed large parts of the ocean, tried to block people from seeing Mt. Rushmore, and physically pushed an alternative rock singer who was already peacefully leaving the Jefferson Memorial as asked with the explanation that “it’s quicker this way.”

He was just following orders. With relish.

And of course, the National Park Service continues to live up to its sacred and solemn duty to close down valid businesses operating legally on leased federal lands, throwing scores of people out of work.

They still want you to, “see America first,” they just want you to do it at a discreet distance.

As you can see, you cannot possibly expect the federal government to have the resources to benignly ignore these completely open areas during a shutdown. Only when the government is fully up and running and everyone is on the job do they have the time and personnel to do nothing. Really, they have no choice during these lean times to vigilantly barricade and enforce arbitrary restrictions on open areas.

Here at Planet Moron we believe it’s time we all do our part in helping the National Park Service, the Capitol Police, and everyone else charged with ensuring we are unnecessarily inconvenienced. To that end, we offer these suggestions:

When passing federal properties, be they monuments, buildings, scenic vistas, or obscure plaques be sure to avert your eyes. There’s just not any money available for you to look at these things.

When driving through federal lands that have not yet been barricaded try not to breathe. That’s government air, and they can’t guarantee it.

Consider not listening to the radio or watching TV. Those airwaves belong to the government, broadcasters are only permitted to use them under license.

You might also want to consider not using your cellphone. Sure, your carrier paid for use of those airwaves, but, they belong to the government, and the government is closed.

Suggest to the airlines that they might want to change their flight paths so as not to inadvertently fly over federal land. Why? Because closed.

Some readers might be annoyed to learn that a bill we had mentioned last week that would ensure furloughed federal employees would get paid for not working passed the House unanimously.

But, hey, at least elderly people are being thrown out of their own homes.

Copyright 2013 by Planet Moron. Reprinted with permission.

For further enlightenment:

Our National Nightmare Day 4

Our National Nightmare Day 3

Our National Nightmare Day 2

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Filed under Funny Stuff, Government Shutdown