Stand for the anthem.
This is an excellent video well worth your time.
See Which Turkey Made It Into Bowl This Week
The girls were really on a roll with this Bowl of Stupid episode! And ITA with their assessment.
Comments Off on See Which Turkey Made It Into Bowl This Week
Filed under Loose Pollen
Who Knew?
At some point, exactly when is unknown as far as I can tell, the slime merchants who infest Washington, D.C., who laughingly refer to themselves as “representatives of the people” knew to concoct something called an Office of Compliance, funded with taxpayer dollars to pay off the victims that they pinch, paw and fondle on a regular basis. The numbers that have been made public say that 256 victims have been paid over $16 million to date.
These victims have little choice except to take the money and sign the standard ‘confidentiality agreement.’ If they report the molester, they get exposed, the big shot goes to trial (maybe) and gets no punishment. Meanwhile, the victim resigns/gets fired and is left with nothing and no future. The ones with the power hold all the cards. They know it, which is why they act with such blatant disregard for the laws they write to make everyone else follow.
If the Weinstein case had come up in January of 2016, Donald Trump may never have been elected president. Considering the ferocity the leftists/media/DC elite are assaulting Roy Moore, how many phony “victims” could they have created to smear Trump? That’s all you would have heard about. Media whores are experts at putting pressure on republicans, regardless of how obviously unfounded the accusations may be. The abuse by the powerful of those they prey upon has been happening for a very long time and will certainly continue unabated, if unreported. As the old saying goes: power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
The Party of Women: Dem Rep Says Sexual Misconduct Allegations Against Conyers ‘Could Be Made Up’
Republicans and Democrats are in the crosshairs. Liberal media figures have also fallen. Yet, the Left is still engaging in the Bill Clinton protocol, circling the wagons and trying to downplay the accusations. Right now, Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) has four women, two of which wish to remain anonymous, alleging that he groped them.
The other Democrat in the news is Rep. John Conyers (D-MI), who has had sexual misconduct allegations lobbed against him, with financial settlements providing a paper trail of possible bad behavior.
HE PAID OFF ONE VICTIM WITH $27,000 FROM HIS BUDGET ALLOWANCE, SO BASICALLY IT CAME OUT OF YOUR POCKET, NOT HIS.
“You can’t jump to conclusions with these types of things,” Clyburn said, despite the documented complaints. “For all I know, all of this could be made up.”
John Conyers Admits To Settling Sexual Harassment Case, Denies Wrongdoing + Charlie Rose Fired
Watch how Charlie Rose covered sexual harassment
Wait—isn’t the rule that all women should be believed no matter what? Is Clyburn suggesting that some due process should be involved in these cases? Isn’t this part of the “war on women”?
Sex abuse allegations expose the media’s hypocrisy on Trump
“Not every horny narcissist with bad judgment is named Donald Trump.”
That was the actual “reportage” of New York Times reporter Glenn Thrush last year, in an article referring to the online sexual exploits of former congressman Anthony Weiner.
It appears, in retrospect, that Thrush might well have been describing himself.
Al Franken’s Newest Excuse For Groping Allegations: ‘I Hug People’
Democratic Minnesota Sen. Al Franken’s latest excuse for the groping allegations against him is that he is a “warm person” who likes to “hug people.”
Some women have found my greetings or embraces for a hug or photo inappropriate, and I respect their feelings about that. I’ve thought a lot in recent days about how that could happen, and recognize that I need to be much more careful and sensitive in these situations.”
TRANSLATION: ‘I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE SO YOU CAN ALL GO F**K YOURSELVES.’
[CtH: Yeah, cuz “hugs” always include woodies and tongues. smh]
http://dailycaller.com/2017/11/24/al-frankens-newest-excuse-for-groping-allegations-i-hug-people/
Dem Rep: ‘No Offense,’ But Ethics Committee Investigations Aren’t Going to Help
Rep. Kathleen Rice (D-NY) is so far the only Democratic representative brave enough to demand Rep. John Conyers’s (D-MI) resign over sexual assault allegations.
“No offense,” she told her colleagues, but their efforts are not going to result in any real accountability.
THE FACTS ARE DEMOCRATS HAVE NO MORALS, NEVER CLAIMED TO HAVE. FOR THE MOST PART THEIR VOTERS ONLY CARE ABOUT KEEPING THE FREE STUFF FLOWING. CIVILIZED BEHAVIOR IS NOT REQUIRED NOR EXPECTED.
[CtH: I don’t EVER want to hear another word about the Roman Catholic Church’s sex abuse issue. The RCC instituted zero tolerance rules in every parish. (Mama Buzz had to have a background check done on her before she could ASSIST in a Sunday School class room.) AND they have OUTSIDE auditors ensuring that every part of the American Catholic Church is in compliance.]
Filed under Al Franken, Democrats, Donald Trump, Government Corruption, John Conyers, Republicans, U.S. Congress
Is This What We Have Become?
Have that many people lost their minds? Every year it just seems to get worse. Greed overcomes every other human instinct as people lose all perspective in a quest for a cheap electronic device or a stupid toy that, made the way toys are made today, won’t last a month. We have nearly all our shopping done and never left the house. Why put yourself through it? Still, there are those who revert back to the hunter-gatherer days of the neanderthal.
Grown Men Fight Over Toy Car On Black Friday
The four men seem to grapple over a cardboard box containing the toy until one man dressed in camouflage begins dragging it away. A woman convinces him to let it go, leaving the other three to continue the fight.
St. Louis Galleria Closes on Black Friday After Protesters Storm Mall
The St. Louis Galleria was shut down today on Black Friday – the biggest shopping day of the year — after Black Lives Matter protesters stormed the popular St. Louis mall.
Black lives matter protest locks down stores at Galleria Mall in #RichmondHeights #Missouri today, yelling “white silence is violence”.
Breaking: St. Louis Galleria Closes on Black Friday After Protesters Storm Mall (VIDEO)
Democratic State Rep. Arrested In Anti-Black Friday Protest
FORMER RAPPER ELECTED BY THE SAME KIND OF VOTERS THAT ELECT MAXINE WATERS AND JOHN CONYERS TERM AFTER TERM
State Rep. Bruce Franks Jr. was among seven people arrested after they marched through the St. Louis Galleria mall, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports. The protesters reportedly chanted “Shut it down!” as they marched through the mall.
Franks, who was a local rapper and activist before winning election last year, was arrested last month after blocking a highway as part of anti-police protests.
http://dailycaller.com/2017/11/24/democratic-state-rep-arrested-in-anti-black-friday-protest/
SEASON’S BEATINGS: Huge Black Friday Brawl Erupts Inside Mall — Shopper Throws Shoe At Baby
A large ‘Black Friday’ brawl erupted inside Riverchase Galleria mall in Hoover, Alabama, late Thursday night. Female shoppers were filmed punching and kicking one another, while one threw a shoe at a baby.
Stunned witnesses laughed and recorded video on their mobile phones as police ordered them to leave the store.
The mall in the US state of Alabama had to be shut down early after multiple fights were reported, while a shooting left one person critically injured at a mall in Missouri as Black Friday shoppers showed up looking for deals.
SEASON’S BEATINGS: Huge Black Friday Brawl Erupts Inside Mall — Shopper Throws Shoe At Baby! (VIDEO)
Black Friday Freak Outs: 2017 Edition
Black Friday always brings out crazy brawls between strangers fighting over the last marked-down item — and 2017 proved to be no different. Here are some of the craziest videos from this year’s Black Friday.
Warning: The following video clips contain strong language.
This one looks like it hurt. A LOT. Two customers get into it, and one quickly throws the other into a metal shelf and walks off with the merch.
2) Steam Cleaner Tug Of War
IT TAKES A SPECIAL KIND OF SUBHUMAN TO COMMIT ASSAULT OVER A STEAM CLEANER
The manager sounds like a babysitter trying to deal with a rebellious toddler. “No. No. NO. You have to let go.” Nobody gets paid enough to deal with this.
3) Black Friday Reaches South Africa – BRACE YOURSELVES!
At this store, customers don’t even reach the merchandise before the melee starts.
4) Cops Break Out Tasers, Mace To Pass Out Electronics
http://dailycaller.com/2017/11/24/black-friday-freak-outs-2017-edition-video/
GOD MADE MAN IN HIS OWN IMAGE, WITH THE POWER TO REASON AND OPPOSABLE THUMBS TO SEPARATE US FROM LOWER FORMS OF ANIMAL. WATCHING THIS SHEER LUNACY YOU HAVE TO THINK TO YOURSELF: THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I.
Filed under Law Enforcement, Race Relations
New Documents Confirm Pilgrims, Indians Argued about Politics over Thanksgiving Dinner
From The Babylon Bee.
U.S.—New documents recently uncovered by Smithsonian historians confirmed that the group of pilgrims and Indians who gathered for the first Thanksgiving argued vehemently about politics throughout the course of the meal.
The newly discovered journal seems to indicate that just after giving thanks for the meal, one Pilgrim from England drank too much mead and began to rant about “making the colonies great again,” kicking off several hours of hostile glances, passive-aggressive remarks, and flat-out argumentation.
“Apparently, Uncle Charles was asked to eat at the kids’ table after a tirade about how real patriots need to support King James I, and several Wampanoag Indians and younger Puritans alike wouldn’t stop talking about their participation in a string of violent protests throughout the colonies,” Dr. Gary Etherton, a Smithsonian researcher said Tuesday. “They called themselves ‘the Resistance’ for some reason.”
Arguments centered around “common sense musket control” raged as one Pilgrim mother complained about the large quantity of wheellock muskets left lying around without observing proper gun safety rules, while at the other end of the table, a fistfight broke out over a Ten Commandment display in front of the Plymouth General Court.
At publishing time, historians had also confirmed that the bickering over politics ceased briefly for a pick-up American football game on an adjacent lawn.
Filed under Funny Stuff
Happy Race Neutral Friday
The original title was going to be “Happy race neutral, non-gender specific, nonbinary, gluten-free, nonjudgmental, pasteurized, homogenized, lactose free, gun free, zenith of crass commercialism Friday.” But it wouldn’t fit.
We have entered the month of retail Armageddon known as the Christmas shopping season. My promise to you is that you will never see ‘xmas’ in any reference to the celebration of Christ’s birth in anything I post. We are not ashamed of who we are.
Doing my paper delivery this morning, I passed through the parking lot of a Menard’s and a Target store. There were a few people at 3:30, but it’s not like it was some years ago when stores didn’t begin the orgy of spending on Thanksgiving night.
There was a time in my foolish youth when I enjoyed going to shopping malls, buying gifts, fighting crowds, immersed in the frenzy of the day.
When I was in college we played a game called ‘the parking lot game.’ Sick, but fun. We’d park in the last row at the mall and go inside. When we came out there were cars circling the parking lot like so many mechanical buzzards, cruising for a parking spot near the front. We’d take out our keys and pretend we were looking for where we parked and see how many cars we could get to follow us looking to grab a spot, like so many sheep following a Judas goat. Three was the most we ever scored. Perverse, twisted, cruel, but all we were really doing was using other peoples’ greed and sloth to amuse ourselves.
These days I can’t imagine people actually subjecting themselves to the bad attitudes of sales people and the short tempers of shoppers looking for deals on big screen TVs. What little shopping I do is accomplished from right where I’m sitting now. Go online, order what you want, and they send it to your door. No muss, no fuss, no smart asses playing the parking lot game.
Hoping everyone had a wonderful day yesterday. It was quiet around here for the most part, just my stepson and I enjoying a football game and gorging on his mama’s culinary expertise. It all seems so pointless somehow. Two weeks of preparation, two days of getting ready for family, and in a half hour it’s over. Now comes four weeks of shopping, decorating, wrapping, tree buying and installation, and in a matter of hours it’s over. Nothing else to look forward to for four months but cold, ice, and snow. It’s called life and we learn to live it.
There is a mix of regular political nonsense leavened with some warm items to help your digestion today.
Trumps Spend Thanksgiving Serving Meals To Active Duty Armed Forces
“Incredible people, you’ve done an incredible job,” Trump said.
The First Lady jumped in to tell the group: “Happy Thanksgiving!” She smiled and waved with both hands as she spoke.
The president offered to take questions from the Coast Guard, although no one spoke up — which the president says he loves.
JUST THINK… A FIRST LADY WHO DOESN’T NEED A BOOB BELT OR $500 SNEAKERS TO LOOK STUNNING (not saying the Wookie could, on the best day she ever had).
DEMOCRAT NEWS NETWORK: CNN Fails To Report These 24 Democrat Sex Scandals
All of the Democrat sex scandals that CNN has failed to report on have made news in 2017, with 19 of the 24 making news within the last month.
THE MEDIA GOES TO GREAT LENGTHS TO AVOID TALKING ABOUT THE 800 POUND HAM-HANDED GORILLA IN THE ROOM.
When CNN is not busy giving President Donald Trump 93% negative coverage, covering for Islamic terrorists, botching gun reports, or being sued by over 200 African-Americans for racial discrimination, they are busy covering for Democrats across the United States by not reporting on scandals.
Below are 24 recent Democratic sex scandals that CNN has failed to report on their website (documentation showing CNN did not cover the scandals is provided at the bottom of this report).
http://www.dailywire.com/news/23910/democrat-news-network-cnn-fails-report-these-24-ryan-saavedra?
THIS STORY IS AT ONCE BOTH HEARTWARMING AND INFURIATING.
New Jersey Woman Raises More Than $200K for Homeless Man Who Bought Her Gasoline
Kate McClure, a 27-year-old from New Jersey, told the Inquirer that as she was traveling to Philadelphia to visit a friend, her car suddenly ran out of gasoline. McClure said she was nervous and scared, as the neighborhood where her car stopped was sketchy.
“My heart was beating out of my chest,” McClure said. “I didn’t know what the heck to do.”
After calling her boyfriend, 38-year-old Mark D’Amico, who promised to come get her, McClure said a homeless man named Johnny approached her car to help.
They learned he is Johnny Bobbitt Jr., 34, from the Raleigh, N.C., area. He was an ammunition technician in the Marines. His Facebook page includes photos and posts that trace a romantic relationship from its happier days to its 2014 breakup
According to McClure, Johnny — who takes care of two other men under a bridge in the area — told her to lock her car doors and that he would return.
Johnny told her to sit tight and that he would spend his last $20 to buy gas a few blocks away. “He said, ‘I’ll be back. Trust me,’” McClure told the Inquirer.
Ten minutes after speaking with McClure, Johnny returned with a gallon of gas that he had bought with his last $20.
Johnny told McClure that he is interested in working at the Robbinsville, New Jersey, Amazon warehouse so he can get health benefits and make a decent living.
Though McClure and D’Amico continued passing through to see Johnny in Philadelphia, they still felt they could do more. That is when they decided to fund raise to help change Johnny’s life, setting up a GoFundMe page that has far exceeded the $10,000 goal the couple originally set.
“He knows where he’s at and he knows what he has to do to dig himself out,” D’Amico told the Inquirer. “It’s almost impossible to dig himself out if he has nobody and nothing. If we can raise enough money to set him up for a few months, where he doesn’t have to worry about where he’s going to sleep and what he’s going to eat, then he can get a job and go about his life.”
A VETERAN, NOT UNLIKE TENS OF THOUSANDS OF OTHERS THAT HAVE FALLEN ON HARD TIMES AND ARE LARGELY IGNORED WHILE LIBERALS PISS AND MOAN ABOUT THE “RIGHTS” OF ILLEGALS WE SPEND $100 BILLION A YEAR TO PROVIDE A FREE RIDE TO WHILE THEY CONTRIBUTE NOTHING. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THE HOMELESS VETS, MANY WITH DRUG OR MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, NOT TO GET THE CARE THEY EARNED. OK, I’M DONE NOW.
http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2017/11/23/nj-woman-raises-200k-homeless-bought-gasoline/
Union Walmart protests fizzle as a Black Friday tradition
IT REALLY GALLS THE LIBERALS THAT THEY CAN’T BULLY WALMART EMPLOYEES INTO UNIONIZING SO THEY CAN GRAB ALL THAT DUES MONEY TO HELP ELECT DEMOCRATS… PITY.
Unions have stopped trying to use Walmart’s day-after-Thanksgiving ‘Black Friday’ sales to launch public relations blitzes against the corporation, effectively conceding that the once-high profile efforts were making little headway toward organizing a union at the nation’s largest employer
Ritter said the union had determined that Black Friday — traditionally the kick-off of Christmas shopping season and a major event for retailers — was no longer as big of an event due to the growth of online sales.
‘Hypocritical’ climate protesters attacked for morning commute disruption
‘Black Liberation’ Group Vows To Shut Down Black Friday Shopping To Fight Racism
ANOTHER REASON TO SHOP ONLINE.
Black Liberation Front-Seattle, an “assertive” group aimed at fighting racism, also launched a four-hour demonstration called “BlackLivesMatterFriday 4.0 -Racism. It Stops With Me” to show the country that racism is unacceptable.
Approximately 10,000 people have marked “interested” on social media for this event, and over 1,000 people have said they plan on attending the Friday demonstration.
THERE ARE THOSE WHO WANT TO TEAR DOWN AND THOSE WHO WANT TO LIFT UP
‘Miracle Park’ to be built in Rock Hill will be designed specifically for people with special needs
The so-called Miracle Park is a dream of the York County Disabilities Foundation. Last week, the foundation presented the idea to Rock Hill’s City Council, pushing the project forward.
The Miracle Park would sit on a 15-acre piece of land, partially on the current “Winthrop Park.” The land is owned by both the City of Rock Hill (7 acres) and Winthrop University (8 acres). City Council agreed to lease the land to the non-profit for $1 a year, so the Foundation could purse the Miracle Park.
“A miracle field is basically a field made of synthetic rubber so that people with disabilities and wheel chairs can play on these fields,” Norman said.
[CtH: One of my offspring took her kidlets to a park like this and said it made her weepy seeing all the disabled kids having so much FUN. She’s like me … cries when she’s overflowing with joy.]
Nebraska Approves Keystone XL Pipeline
ONE WORD: MAGA!! (actually an acronym) [CtH: I think it’s an acronym that has become a word, though I dunno if any dictionaries have accepted it! Other words Trump has added to our lexicon: bigly and yuge. I’d like to include covfefe, but I have no idea how to pronounce it or what it actually means! LOL]
The Nebraska Public Service Commission approved the Keystone XL pipeline, removing the last regulatory hurdle for the oil project after years of former President Barack Obama’s blocking the pipeline’s approval.
President Donald Trump quickly reversed Obama’s decision after taking office. Trump has pursued an energy policy of “energy dominance,” which sought to undo burdensome energy regulations and open up America’s energy resources.
http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2017/11/20/nebraska-approves-keystone-xl-pipeline/
Student Who Stole A MAGA Hat Off Someone’s Head Faces Year In Jail
SUCKS TO BE YOU, SWEETIE.
UCR is letting people wear this shit on campus?” asked Macias in a video of the incident. “Make American Great Again, really? There were lynchings and genocide and mass deportations.…I fucking hate this country.… And I am not leaving.…We need to get rid of all ya’ll.”
When Vitale asked for his hat back, she said “F*** your freedom of speech boy, your freedom of speech is literally killing a lot of people out there, your hats like these that promote laws and legislation that literally kill and murder people of color.”
[CtH: Good luck getting this witch to cite a single example of a U.S. law that literally kills anyone. Betcha she demanded HER constitutional rights though. Hypocrite.]
Malia Obama Caught Making Out, Lighting Up At Harvard-Yale Game
They grow up fast, don’t they? Malia Obama, the eldest daughter of former President Barack Obama was caught on video kissing an unidentified male and lighting up a cigarette at the Harvard-Yale football game.
Malia Obama Caught Making Out, Lighting Up At Harvard-Yale Game (VIDEO)
‘CBS This Morning’ wants Oprah to fill in for fired Charlie Rose: report
SERIOUSLY?
“CBS This Morning” is reportedly “begging” Oprah Winfrey to fill in for former co-host Charlie Rose, who was fired from the network after sexual harassment allegations.
“They are begging Oprah to fill in,” a source told Page Six. “Not full time … But they are hoping she’ll do one day, two days, one hour, fill in ’til Christmas. Anything.”
“Unless you get a superstar [on the show], it’s always going to be, ‘Charlie’s missing,'” an insider told the publication.
Hillary Clinton: I Couldn’t Run A Real Change Campaign Because Of Obama
HOPE AND CHANGE! HOPE AND CHANGE! IT GOT MY SORRY ASS ELECTED TWICE
HILLARY CLINTON:
… I have high regard for the campaign that we put together, and all of the people who were working in it so hard. But I think it is fair to say that it was hard to break through. I’ve said a few times that this was the first reality TV campaign. My opponent was the first reality TV candidate, and I was, for better or worse, the candidate of reality. And I think it was a shortcoming of the campaign that the work that I’ve done my entire life. The passion I feel for helping people, the record that I have of doing just that never really could break through.
THE FACT I’M A LYING, GREEDY, CORRUPT SKANK WITHOUT ANY MORAL COMPASS WHATEVER, AND EVERYBODY KNEW IT, HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY GETTING A GRADE ‘A’ BEATDOWN.
[CtH: I wonder when she’ll ever get tired of listening to her own whining. Never is a literal possibility, I suppose.]
https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2017/11/22/hillary-clinton-i-couldnt-run-a-real-campaign-because-of-obama-n2412965
[CtH: Give it another try? Better yet, RETIRE your old self and let the next generation take a turn. Sheesh.]
Limbaugh Parody: Bill Clinton gives Al Franken Advice on Dealing with Sexual Harassment Scandal
GOP Would Be ‘Much Better Off With The Dem’ Winning in Alabama -Matthew Dowd
OF COURSE, DOWD HAS ALWAYS HAS THE BEST INTERESTS OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY AT HEART.
“The worst possible outcome of the Alabama election for the Republicans is if the Republican wins … It hangs over them through the course of this. They’d be much better off with the Democrat.”
Take a listen. This is supposedly a ‘Republican’ strategist. OMG.
[CtH: Honestly, whenever I hear supposed Republicans talking out their Democrat asses, it makes me wonder what’s in those oppo files the Dems keep carefully locked away.]
http://www.hapblog.com/2017/11/matthew-dowd-gop-would-be-much-better.html
O’Malley: Obama Devastated Democratic Party Like a ‘Bad Forest Fire’
Wednesday on ABC’s “Powerhouse Politics” podcast, 2016 Democratic presidential candidate and former Gov. Martin O’Malley (D-MD) said former President Barack Obama’s decision to set up Organizing for America rather than “infusing” his energy into the Democratic Party devastated the party on state and local levels like a “bad forest fire.”
Lock Up Lois Lerner
I’VE BEEN REPULSED BY THIS SNEERING HAG SINCE THE FIRST TIME SHE TESTIFIED BEFORE CONGRESS. SHE COMMITTED FELONIES AND ABUSED HER POWER WITH NO FEAR OF CONSEQUENCES BECAUSE SHE WAS DOING OBAMA’S BIDDING AND HE PROTECTED HER. THEN TRUMP APPOINTED A MILQUETOAST WHO PROCEEDED TO RECUSE HIMSELF FROM DOING HIS JOB.
Former IRS official Lois Lerner and her deputy are asking a federal court to keep their testimonies in the Tea Party targeting case private forever, over fear of death threats and potential harm to their families if the documents go public.
Only the lawless Lois Lerner would feel threatened by legal proceedings initiated by her abuse of government power. Calling her and her IRS co-conspirators “criminal thugs” is not a threat but an understatement. What she fears is not violence but that the truth about her crimes, what she did and what she got away with, will be finally and fully known and that she would no longer be able to hide behind a bogus and fraudulent Fifth Amendment pleading before Congress.
http://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2017/11/lock_up_lois_lerner.html#ixzz4zMY14iwd
COME TO HILLARYMART FOR EXPERT POLITICAL ADVICE
SORRY FOR THE LENGTH…BREVITY WAS NEVER MY STRONG SUIT.
[CtH: Loved this post, Pete! And thanks, as always, for carrying the water to the garden when I’m under the weather. Did you see what I did there with watering the garden and weather? ::snork::]
‘What Do I Have to Be Thankful For?’ Asks Man Whose Heart Is Beating
From The Babylon Bee.
LYNNWOOD, WA—Sources confirmed Thursday that local freethinker Jared Olson called into question the “absurd” idea that he had anything to be thankful for, all while his heart continued to beat regularly as it has done since before his birth, pumping blood through his body in a complex, life-sustaining process well beyond his mind’s capability of understanding in its entirety.
“I really don’t understand what all I’m supposed to be thankful for,” a slightly drunken Olson opined, addressing whichever members of his extended family were within earshot, as the membrane across his larynx vibrated to modulate the flow of air from his lungs, making his speech audible to the people listening, whose intricate ear structures then instantly transformed the invisible sound waves into abstract thought in their brain’s nervous tissue.
Olson went on to pursue the line of reasoning even further, noting that he was passed up for a job promotion that he was “really expecting,” in the same year his dog died. According to eyewitnesses, he spoke these words as the surface his feet rested on continued to spin around the earth’s core without any input from him, all while the only known habitable planet on which he stood rocketed around the center of the galaxy in perfect formation at the unfathomable rate of 490,000 miles per hour.
At one point during his monologue, Olson reportedly glanced around the room to notice several members of his healthy, caring family staring at him, his eyes’ hundreds of millions of cone and rod cells responding to stimuli in an unimaginably sophisticated procedure that he never has to think about. As these elaborate structures continued to capture and process an unbelievable volume of input per second, Olson reported he was all the more confident from the looks of those around him that he had made his case.
“Thanksgiving? Pssh—thanks for nothing,” Olson remarked, before somberly digging into a meal the likes of which the vast majority of the world’s population could only dream of eating.
Also from The Babylon Bee:
Atheist Prepares to Offer Heartfelt Thanks to Random, Uncaring Universe on Thanksgiving
Nation Approves Plan to Push Hollywood into Pacific Ocean
Confirmed: Judas Iscariot Finished ‘Your Best Life Now’ Immediately Before Betraying Jesus for Money
After Two Brief Decades of Deliberation, Democrats Bravely Call for Bill Clinton’s Resignation
Filed under Funny Stuff
In Case You Needed a Laugh
First a word from our sponsors: The admins here (two lovely and frightfully smart ladies) and me, the village idiot, are going to suspend the normal political diatribes until after the holiday. We will, however, bring you some special features.
I’d like to express for myself, and quite probably my buddies here, my profound thanks to all of you for stopping here. We don’t have a donation button or beg-a-thons like some sites. We do this as a public service and because we enjoy it. It is gratifying to know that so many of you feel we are worthy of a little bit of your time.
OK, now the fun stuff.
Many television shows have produced episodes to coincide with holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas.
WKRP in Cincinnati was a 70s sitcom with an excellent ensemble cast. The following is one of the funniest bits ever filmed. No doubt most of you have seen it, but maybe it’s been a while. It will be the best 4 minutes you’ll spend today listening to Les Nessman describe the carnage as the turkeys go splat on the pavement.
Cheers was another funny scene. Poor Norm.
A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving
MADtv – Dot’s Thanksgiving Play (I REALLY ENJOYED MADtv)
DeNIRO AND CRYSTAL… TWO SCREAMING LIBS, BUT PRETTY FUNNY TOGETHER
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING TRULY BIZARRE
The Muppets Audition for The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
MY GRANDPARENTS GOT A COLOR TV ON OCT. 4, 1964 (it was my sister’s birthday).
I REMEMBER WATCHING THE MACY’S PARADE IN COLOR FOR THE FIRST TIME. IT WAS AMAZING.
Red Skelton was a comic genius and a real American original. In 1952 he addressed his audience this way:
A Thanksgiving Day Message From Red Skelton from 1952
On the day before Thanksgiving every year Rush Limbaugh relates the story of the true meaning of Thanksgiving. It was all about the abject failure of socialism and the power of capitalism.You’re probably familiar with it, but here is the transcript and the audio.
Rush Limbaugh has made it an annual tradition to take a moment before the holiday to tell “the true story of Thanksgiving,” a holiday about which many of the historical facts are often left out and much of the true meaning has been lost in the simplified and politically correct version of the tale. The true story, he explains, highlights the faith and courage of the Pilgrims, the partnership between the settlers and the Native Americans, the failure of socialism and the power of free enterprise.
http://www.dailywire.com/news/11070/rush-limbaugh-tells-true-story-behind-thanksgiving-james-barrett
I WOULD BE REMISS IF I DIDN’T GIVE THANKS TO ALMIGHTY GOD FOR DELIVERING US FROM LIBERAL TYRANNY AND GIVING US A PRESIDENT WHO WORSHIPS HIM AND NOT A FALSE IDOL.
First Lady Melania Trump Receives the White House Christmas Tree
Psalm 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
my heart exults,
and with my song I give thanks to Him.
Colossians 3:15-17
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Filed under Funny Stuff, Holidays, Nostalgia
polination.blog 