Jimmy Kimmel Produces Official Document Confirming He Is Nation’s Moral Authority
From The Babylon Bee.
HOLLYWOOD, CA—Kicking off a rousing and emotional monologue on his Jimmy Kimmel Live! late-night talk show Tuesday during which he laid out yet another case for the common-sense nature of his views on policy and the evil barbarism of those who hold different views, host Jimmy Kimmel reached into his desk and produced a document officially declaring himself America’s greatest moral authority.
“I know some people have questioned my impassioned political speeches, so let me just show you this,” Kimmel said before presenting the document for all the world to see. “I guess I assumed it was obvious due to the tone of my lectures and the obvious emotion behind them, but just in case anyone is unclear—I am, in fact, this nation’s highest moral authority.”
The paper, which contained the words “Official Document” in bold at the top, appeared to have read “This document officially certifies James Christian Kimmel as The United States of America’s highest moral authority; furthermore, as the sole arbiter of truth within the land.”
“Go ahead and zoom in on it,” the host said as he held the paper still for a moment. “Take a good look. And check out those asterisks at the top—this is the real deal. I sincerely hope none of you will question my authority again.”
“So whether I’m holding court about nationalized health care, women’s rights, or gun control: I am right, and only right, all the time. And if you disagree with me, you are wrong and you passionately want people to die,” he added.
At publishing time, the document’s origins are unknown, with most experts hypothesizing that Kimmel himself printed it out in his office before the show.
More from The Babylon Bee:
Youths Make Joke About Tim Keller’s Baldness, Immediately Mauled by Bears
Filed under Funny Stuff
In the Company of Sleazebags
There has always been a blatant double standard that people of opposing political parties are held to. The Republicans, forever referred to as “the religious right,” are held to a far higher moral and ethical standard than is the liberal left. When a Republican falls short, he is accused of hypocrisy and the entire party is then accused of harboring such miscreants.
The left has it much easier. They control the major media, so things like Robert Menedez’ corruption trial and Wasserman-Schultz’s IT guy leaking information through unsecured servers are totally ignored. Their minions cater to the simple-minded, willfully ignorant masses who only see headlines and lack interest in finding facts on their own. They just take the presstitutes’ word as gospel.
Now comes media mogul, big Democrat donor, and completely morally reprehensible scum, Harvey Weinstein.
Decades of Sexual Harassment Accusations Against Harvey Weinstein
An investigation by The New York Times found previously undisclosed allegations against Mr. Weinstein stretching over nearly three decades, documented through interviews with current and former employees and film industry workers, as well as legal records, emails and internal documents from the businesses he has run, Miramax and the Weinstein Company.
Late-Night Hosts Ignore Harvey Weinstein Sexual Harassment Scandal
The silence is deafening, considering these left-wing comics have often made same-day monologues critical of President Donald Trump and were among the first to scorch former Fox News anchor Bill O’Reilly and former Fox News chief Roger Ailes for alleged sexual harassment.
Harvey Weinstein’s Money Shouldn’t Buy Democrats’ Silence
Mr. Weinstein has given more than $1.4 million to candidates, parties and political action committees since 1990, Variety reported, citing figures from the Center for Responsive Politics. Among his biggest beneficiaries are President Barack Obama, whose daughter was an intern with Mr. Weinstein’s company this year. At a career workshop for high schoolers at the White House, where Mr. Weinstein was a guest several times, Michelle Obama called him “a wonderful human being, a good friend and just a powerhouse.”
Harvey Weinstein plans to sue New York Times for $50M
Weinstein has hired Charles J. Harder — the LA attorney who brought down Gawker after winning a $140 million verdict for Hulk Hogan after the site posted a sex tape — to go after the Times, which posted its blistering exposé on the Oscar-winning Hollywood mogul Thursday.
http://pagesix.com/2017/10/05/harvey-weinstein-says-he-will-sue-new-york-times-for-50m/
Filed under Democrats, Harvey Weinstein, Media Bias
So Much Stuff, So Little Time
Fighting the urge to take a nap. Had to wake up to have breakfast with my uncles. It may seem a bother, but one day it will no longer be possible. Put in that perspective, it’s really no bother at all.
Angry GOP donors close their wallets
‘I’m sick and tired of nothing happening,’ one contributor says of the party’s legislative failures
These elitists may not pay us commoners much mind, but money talks, as they say.
“Anybody who was there knew that I was not happy. And I don’t think anybody was happy. How could you be?” said Wachtell, who has previously given over $2,000 to McConnell but recently stopped donating to Senate GOP causes. “You’re never going to get a more sympathetic Republican than I am. But I’m sick and tired of nothing happening.”
http://www.politico.com/story/2017/10/05/republican-donors-trump-mcconnell-anger-243449
Cuomo’s on-air meltdown defending CNN against fake news charge does not disappoint
Betraying any pretense of impartiality he may have had, Cuomo, a news anchor, then declared that the federal government’s relief efforts in Puerto Rico were inadequate — this coming from a network that exists almost entirely for the purpose of destroying this president.
http://www.bizpacreview.com/2017/10/05/cuomos-air-meltdown-defending-cnn-fake-news-charge-not-disappoint-544708
Schumer Asks Trump to ‘Break from the NRA…And Work With Us’
Schumer described the National Rifle Association, a group that supports Americans’ constitutional right to keep and bear arms, as a swamp:
“Look, this is, I mean, this is the swamp. A small, powerful lobby that represents a vast minority, a very small minority of Americans, seems to have a stranglehold on the Republican Party. And, that shouldn’t be.
https://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/susan-jones/
House passes budget, paving way for tax reform
In a 219-206 vote, lawmakers approved a budget resolution for 2018 that sets up a process for shielding the GOP tax bill from a filibuster in the Senate.
A total of 18 Republicans voted against the resolution, along with all the Democrats who were present.
GOP lawmakers hailed the vote as meaningful because of the tax measure.
Street Artist Targets Jimmy Kimmel
“Sabo” created posters of Kimmel looking like a young Johnny Depp from the 1990 movie ‘Cry-Baby.’
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/jimmy-kimmel-targeted-by-conservative-street-artist-1045951
Holy Hillary!
I’m reminded of the story about a holy missionary who died and was received in Heaven by a crowd of angels and saints. Soon, a trumpet sounded, and everyone but his guardian angel left to join a much larger crowd greeting a scowling unpleasant-looking man. The bewildered priest turned to the angel, who said, “Don’t be surprised. He’s no saint, but he saved far more souls than you. He was a notoriously reckless driver, and wherever he drove, people prayed.” So it was with Hillary.
http://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2017/10/holy_hillary.html#ixzz4uk4rzqYp
Democrats ‘Throw Tantrum,’ Skip VA Event Because of a Group They Don’t Like
Then, on Tuesday, Democrats on the House Veterans’ Affairs Committee skipped out on what The Military Times described as a “supposedly friendly roundtable discussion” over how to reform the Veterans Affairs agency.
Why? Because Concerned Veterans for America was there – and the group has ties to Republicans.
https://townhall.com/tipsheet/cortneyobrien/2017/10/05/democrats-boycott-event-to-improve-va-n2390725
KISS rocks the crowd, stops concert for a rousing Pledge of Allegiance
In a day when overpaid millionaire NFL players have made it “cool” to disrespect our country and flag, it’s good to see some entertainers still willing to publicly give due reverence to the symbols that represent not only our beloved nation, but the men and women who sacrifice to keep America free.
http://www.bizpacreview.com/2017/10/05/take-kaepernick-kiss-rocks-crowd-stops-concert-rousing-pledge-allegiance-544699
Filed under Charles Schumer, Chris Cuomo, Democrats, Hollywood, NRA, Republicans, Veterans
Who Kills America’s Babies
Comments Off on Who Kills America’s Babies
Filed under Abortion, Planned Parenthood
Thursday Goings On
There was a time, lo these many years ago, when late night comedians just told jokes and chatted with actresses, musicians, and assorted celebrities. I can remember all the way back to Jack Paar (google him if you’re not that old). Johnny Carson has been the standard most so-called hosts have been measured by. Jay Leno took his place and he dabbled in political waters, but not too heavily as I recall. Today people like Kimmel, Letterman, Fallon, and especially that hateful pig Stephen Colbert, have veered from being entertainers into social commentators. Kimmel has gone from whining about universal healthcare to accusing legal gun owners of being terrorists.
Kimmel says ‘NUTS’ disagree with him on gun control because they know they’re GUILTY
Jimmy Kimmel tried to GUNSHAME people who disagreed with his emotional and irrational screed against guns in a short commentary he gave last night on his show. Listen to the idiot prattle on below:
Jimmy Kimmel – It’s Not Too Soon to Talk Gun Violence
Kimmel says ‘NUTS’ disagree with him on gun control because they know they’re GUILTY
KIMMEL HAS DRAWN A RESPONSE FROM BEN SHAPIRO AND RUSH… HE’S FIGHTING WAY OUTSIDE HIS WEIGHT CLASS
Ben Shapiro Obliterates ‘Social Justice King’ Jimmy Kimmel For His ‘Abhorrent’ Gun Control Views
The last place you want to be is on the receiving end of Ben Shapiro’s laser sharp tongue. The Daily Wire founder obliterated late night host Jimmy Kimmel’s “abhorrent,” and “nasty” gun control views.
Shapiro noted at the onset that “Kimmel did something last night that I find truly abhorrent” which was discard any and all facts as part of his effort to “become the social justice king of late-night television” and “all-heart representation of all leftist causes.”
Jimmy Kimmel Has Become A POLITICAL EXPERT
Liz DESTROYS JIMMY KIMMEL
Pat Sajak Crushes Jimmy Kimmel. It Only Takes Him Just. One. Tweet.
Steven Crowder: Everything Wrong with Jimmy Kimmel’s Las Vegas Rant
Kellyanne Conway Scrutinized for Taking Private Flights
SUDDENLY THE DEMOCRATS ARE CONSUMED WITH ETHICS… FUNNY HOW THAT WORKS
THEY GOT RID OF TOM PRICE, NOW THEY’RE AFTER ANOTHER VICTIM
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/kellyanne-conway-scrutinized-for-taking-private-flights/ar-AAsUAtV?li=BBnbfcL&ocid=UE12DHP
Morning Joe Paints Trump as a Sociopathic Dictator After Puerto Rico Visit
On Wednesday’s Morning Joe, both the hosts and the rest of the panel spent a significant amount of time covering President Trump’s visit yesterday to Puerto Rico. In so doing, they repeatedly and shamelessly suggested that Trump was a sociopath who would not help Puerto Rico if its leaders did not bow down to him.
https://www.newsbusters.org/blogs/nb/chris-reeves/2017/10/04/
Morning Joe Falsely Reports on an Apology from San Juan Mayor
Desperately Seeking A Trump Failure In Puerto Rico
Federal Aid: “You never let a serious crisis go to waste” was former Obama chief of staff Rahm Emanuel’s motto. It’s one that President Trump’s critics have fully embraced as they try to use Puerto Rico’s struggles to recover from Hurricane Maria as a political weapon.
http://www.investors.com/politics/editorials/trumps-puerto-rico-response-gets-attacked-by-partisan-hacks/
Robb: Trump will win in 2020 if the left keeps calling him a racist
The left has talked itself into believing that Trump’s alleged appeals to white racism were what put him over the top.
More astute psephologists have pointed out that the actual difference was made by people in industrial states who previously had voted for Barack Obama in 2008 and 2012, but switched to Trump over Hillary Clinton in 2016. Hard to attribute those decisions to white racism.
http://www.azcentral.com/story/opinion/op-ed/robertrobb/2017/10/02/donald-trump-nfl-protest-race-democrats/717896001/
A Constitutional Right to Win? The Democrats Want One
Wisconsin Democrats cluster predominately in the cities of Milwaukee and Madison, while Republicans are spread out more evenly (and therefore are more competitive) throughout the state.
And never mind that the law is not on their side. Nothing in the Constitution, or indeed the entire political history of the United States, suggests that a party has a legal right to win individual legislative elections proportionate to its statewide vote total.
https://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2017/10/04/a_constitutional_right_to_win_the_democrats_want_one_135170.html
I FELT COMPELLED TO INCLUDE THIS SHOOTING VICTIM STANDING TO MEET THE PRESIDENT
Filed under Ben Shapiro, Constitution, Democrats, Gun Control, Hollywood, Kellyanne Conway, Talk Radio
Heroes and Villians
Out of every national tragedy there are always those who go above and beyond in committing acts of individual heroism. Just as assuredly, there are those who seek personal or political gain from the pain of others, like maggots on road kill.
PLEASE MEET A YOUNG HERO:
Pic of the Day: This Is Jonathan Smith, He’s A Hero
This is Jonathan Smith and when the shooting in Las Vegas happened – instead of running away from the shooting, he ran toward it, and saved as many as 30 people before being shot twice himself.
https://www.weaselzippers.us/359338-pic-of-the-day-this-is-jonathan-smith-hes-a-hero/
I’ll bet this young man was raised in a Christian home with a mother and father.
It would not surprise me if he’s recognized for his acts of unselfish bravery.
THEN THERE ARE THOSE WHO HAVE NOTHING TO SAY… BUT SAY IT ANYWAY
Piers Morgan: ‘Nothing Will Happen’ After Las Vegas Massacre Because Shooter Was ‘Old White Guy With Guns’
Former CNN host argues Trump would act if gunman was a ‘Muslim terrorist,’ doesn’t mention Orlando or San Bernardino shootings
“He’d have done everything in his power to show us what a big, tough guy he is when it comes to protecting Americans,” Morgan continued. “But instead, it’s a nutty white guy with murder on his mind for reasons we may never know. So Trump will put his fingers in his ears and pretend it never happened so he doesn’t upset his [National Rifle Association] paymasters.”
Las Vegas Shooting Survivor Was Saved By A Marine She Met Hours Earlier
“It stopped again and he looked around to see what was happening and then it just kept going. He looked at me and said ‘We have to get out of here. We can’t stay here. It’s not safe.’ Then he pulled my arm up to get me out of the piles of people. We had no idea who was dead or who was alive. We just started to run. He kept telling me it was going to be okay and to keep running until we were safe. He even let me use his phone to stay in touch with my sister so she knew I was safe, which is the text you’ll see. The whole night he didn’t leave my side.”
http://dailycaller.com/2017/10/03/las-vegas-shooting-survivor-was-saved-by-a-marine-she-met-hours-earlier/
Michelle Obama: ‘People Don’t Trust Politics’ Because GOP Is ‘All Men, All White’
She explained, “At the State of the Union address … when you are in the room what you can see is this real dichotomy. It’s a feeling of color almost. On one side of the room is literally gray and white. Literally, that is the color palette on one side of the room. On the other side of the room, there are yellows and blues and whites and greens. Physically, there’s a difference in color, in the tone, because on one side all men, all white, on the other side some woman, some people of color.”
http://www.breitbart.com/video/2017/10/03/michelle-obama-people-dont-trust-politics-gop-men-white/
Trump Calls Out Liberal San Juan Mayor for Her Awful Lies, Jabs Her for Politicizing Disaster – As She Is Sitting in Room
President Trump and Governor Rossello made the remarks in front of liberal San Juan Mayor Carmen Yulín Cruz.
Last week Mayor Cruz accused Trump of “genocide” in Puerto Rico.
The dishonest mayor slammed Trump and wore a “Help Us We Are Dying” T-shirt as she made the rounds on the liberal media.
This was a lie. Only 16 people have died from Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico.
No wonder the liberal mayor would not look at the US president during the meeting.
President Trump Hands Out Supplies to Hurricane Victims at Church in Puerto Rico
HE KNOWS HOW TO YANK THEIR CHAINS… GRIPING OVER HAVING A LITTLE FUN. THE CROWD LOVED IT.
Linda Sarsour Tells Social Justice Rally Attendees to Be Ready to ‘Put Their Lives on the Line’
LIFE? UH… UH… I CAN’T MAKE IT RIGHT NOW. MY MOM’S FIXING TUNA CASSEROLE FOR SUPPER. MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME.
“I am willing to die for black people, for indigenous people. I am willing to die for Muslim people, I am willing to die for the most marginalized people in this country. I am not afraid. The question is, are you ready to do that?” chanted Sarsour at the March for Racial Justice.
Sarsour also made pointed remarks toward Zionist activists who participated in the march across the Brooklyn Bridge, which was organized to include those unable to attend a similar march in D.C. on Saturday, due to it being the Jewish high holiday fast of Yom Kippur.
http://freebeacon.com/culture/linda-sarsour-social-justice-rally-attendees-ready-put-lives-line/amp/
Cartoon of the Day || The Temptation of Trump
YouTube and Facebook remove video of Las Vegas attacker at anti-Trump protest
THAT’S THE BLOODY BASTARD IN THE PINK PUSSY HAT… YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO SEE THAT
Hey you used my video from youtube on the Las Vegas shooting, I just wanted to let you know they falsely accused me of promoting spam in it and deleted the video. I also received a copyright strike, the second one I got from youtube. The first one was when I exposed a child abuser that got investigated.
A protester calls the man in the pink shirt “Steve”
https://pamelageller.com/2017/10/evidence-las-vegas-attacker-anti-trump-protest.html/
Speaking of Facebook…I’m supposed to be paroled from Facebook jail at some point this morning. My account was suspended for no apparent reason. If somebody forgets to push a button there’s nothing I can do about it.
There are no appeals when you deal with these people.
