Category Archives: Funny Stuff

B.S., the secret to category-5 ratings by Jim Walter

Cross posted with permission
http://jimwalterpix.typepad.com/download-the-kaboom/2011/06/bs-the-secret-to-category-5-ratings-.html

Memorial Day is history.  Summer’s here, along with two of our most popular seasonal pastimes:  Watching hurricanes and whining about sky-rocketing gas prices.

Fun stuff first.  For sheer lunacy, nothing beats surrealistic images of 150-mph hurricane winds wreaking chaos in the streets of Biloxi or Miami.  Rain-soaked news reporters imitate crash-test dummies dangling in a wind-tunnel, as they dodge Bar-B-Q pits and traffic lights flying overhead.  100 ways to die?  Gets my attention.

Now the heavy junk.  For raising consumer awareness, what’s better than self-righteous sanctimony at the top of the news hour?  No sooner do vacationers hit the roads, when caravans of media clowns follow, bleating and sputtering in a grand show of outrage about the pain of high pump prices.  Now how gassy is that?

Not to be overlooked, note how the media milks both events for one goal:  to boost ratings.  Oil companies could learn valuable ratings lessons from the television broadcast media.  Take a look at what they have in common:

Television and the oil industry both deliver a product that’s consumed by nearly every U.S. citizen, race, creed or sex notwithstanding.  Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets.

Second, both industries use tall, sturdy towers for the extraction and transmission of their products.  One probes the pore spaces of the earth’s crust, while the other penetrates the air space of the earth’s atmosphere.

The most significant similarity is the greatest difference.  The oil industry produces basal sediment (B.S.) and water with its hydrocarbons.  B.S. is a nuisance by-product and state laws required it be disposed.  It’s tolerated as an expense until the disposal costs can no longer be sustained by a well’s declining revenues.  As a rule, B.S. is inversely proportional to an oil producer’s profitability.

Television produces B.S. with its programming, too.  Unlike the oil industry, however, TV isn’t required to treat its B.S. except in extreme cases.  “PG” disclaimers work wonders.  In television, B.S. has a different effect, in that the thicker it gets, the greater the ratings and the more revenues extracted from advertisers.  Now the rule reverses itself – B.S. is directly proportional to a broadcaster’s profitability.

The conclusion?  What’s loss to the producer is sauce to the anchor.  And that’s the way it is.  Have a great summer!

1 Comment

Filed under Funny Stuff

THE SATURDAY GRUDGE

posted by Pistol Pete

PALIN E-MAILS PROVIDE NO BIG BOMBSHELLS

Don’t act so disappointed,dirtbags

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0611/56705.html

PALIN,OBAMA PAPER TRAILS AND MEDIA HYPOCRISY

http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/269391/palinobama-paper-trails-and-media-hypocrisy-stanley-kurtz

MEDIA’S BIAS ON DISPLAY IN HATE OF PALIN

http://www.investors.com/NewsAndAnalysis/Article/575090/201106101902/A-Lower-Low-In-Media-Bias.htm

WEINER TWEETED 17-YR OLD GIRL BUT SWEARS IT WASN’T DIRTY

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2011/06/10/2011-06-10_rep_anthony_weiner_tweeted_17yearold_girl_but_congressman_swears_it_wasnt_dirty_.html

 

THIS IS HILARIOUS!!

WHEN WILL WE EVER LEARN?

http://www.americanthinker.com/2011/06/when_will_we_ever_learn.html

“RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT”

This book lays the entire economic crisis at the feet of the democrat party.

Question is:which GOP candidate will have the guts to say so?

http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/home/daily/site_061011/content/01125110.guest.html

STEALING THE ELECTION OF 2012

ITS THE ONLY WAY DEMS CAN WIN

http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=44053

50 YEARS OF COMPLETE DEMOCRAT CONTROL

OBAMA’S ‘SOCIAL JUSTICE’

27 Comments

Filed under Anthony Weiner, Barack Obama, Democrats, Economy, Elections, Funny Stuff, Media Bias, Republicans, Sarah Palin

THURSDAY UP-EARLY-BECAUSE-OF-STORM GRUDGE

posted by Pistol Pete

I WOULD LIKE TO ADD MY VOICE TO THE CHORUS OF WELCOMES TO RED PILL-YOU HAVE A HOME HERE

CONGRESSES BIPARTISAN VICE IS COWARDICE

http://townhall.com/columnists/jonahgoldberg/2011/06/09/congress_bipartisan_vice_is_cowardice

NEW JERSEY NEARS DEAL TO CUT UNION PENSIONS,BENEFITS

Time for unions to join the real world

http://blogs.wsj.com/metropolis/2011/06/08/n-j-nears-deal-to-slash-pensions-benefits/

WEINER ON WIFE SUPPORT

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/perv_pol_on_wife_support_JYp14o1Sy5bqb4WIxzbW9H

HAS CHRIS MATTHEWS LOST HIS MIND?

Guests reveal he’s a bigger dirtbag than we thought

http://dailycaller.com/2011/06/09/has-chris-matthews-lost-his-mind/

MEDIA PROTECTING ‘FOOD STAMP PRESIDENT’ BY IGNORING GROWING FOOD STAMP CRISIS

I hear from clients every day that they have no money for food

http://newsbusters.org/blogs/geoffrey-dickens/2011/06/08/mrc-study-media-protecting-food-stamp-president-obama-ignorning-gr

NEW CRACKS IN OIL CARTEL

ZERO has left us at the tender mercies of these rug-kissing,goat-humping assclowns.Thanks a bunch

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304259304576373150163060100.html?mod=WSJ_World_LEFTSecondNews

MICHELLE OBAMA-WHITE HUT REBEL

BARF BAG ALERT!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_newsroom/20110608/pl_yblog_newsroom/michelle-obama-white-house-rebel

YOU’VE PROBABLY SEEN THIS BY NOW

HEY,WHO’S UP FOR A $1.00’GAL GAS TAX HIKE?

http://hotair.com/archives/2011/06/08/gm-ceo-heys-whos-up-for-a-one-dollar-hike-in-federal-gas-tax/

ANN COULTER SCHOOLS ‘THE VIEW’

WHAT ABOUT WATERS?

http://www.investors.com/NewsAndAnalysis/Article/574758/201106081831/What-About-Waters-.htm

OBAMA’S UNDECLARED WAR ON AMERICA

http://www.americanthinker.com/2011/06/obamas_undeclared_war_on_america.html

THIS IS FUNNY

THIS IS NOT:COMMIES ON PARADE

http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2011/06/two_generations_after_the_communists.html

URKEL HOSTS MERKEL

I couldn’t capture the screen shot,but click on the link and tell me the Wookie’s not been hitting the nose candy

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2000653/Obamas-host-state-dinner-honour-German-Chancellor-Angela-Merkel-But-Michelle-steals-show.html

24 Comments

Filed under Ann Coulter, Anthony Weiner, Barack Obama, Chris Matthews, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Democrats, Economy, Funny Stuff, Media Bias, Michelle Obama, Middle East, Taxes, Unions

THE TUESDAY GRUDGE

posted by Pistol Pete

ERECTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/editorials/erections_have_consequences_ey7THC6hJJnnudXPRG1riM?CMP=OTC-rss&FEEDNAME=&utm_content=PostOpinion&utm_campaign=SocialFlowNewYorkPost&utm_source=SFnewyorkpost#sf_service_src_facebook_1377096191

TOP WHITE HOUSE ECONOMIST GOOLSBEE TO STEP DOWN

Another rat flees the sinking ship

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110607/pl_nm/us_usa_obama_goolsbee

WEINER VOTED AGAINST CENSURING RANGEL

http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/165021-weiner-voted-against-censuring-rangel

VALUING SENIORS’ LIVES

http://www.investors.com/NewsAndAnalysis/Article/574539/201106061903/Valuing-Seniors-Lives.htm

AUDIO:LEVIN-PALIN WAS A HELL OF A GOVERNOR

http://www.therightscoop.com/levin-sarah-palin-was-a-hell-of-a-governor/

NPR DEFENDS PALIN?

http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2011/06/npr_defends_palin.html

OBAMA TAKES MERKEL OUT FOR PRE-DINNER DINNER

Urkel meets Merkel

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_US_GERMANY_DINNER?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2011-06-06-21-40-47

DEMOCRATS JUMP ON ‘BUYERS REMORSE’

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2011/jun/6/democrats-jump-on-buyers-remorse/

Thanks everybody for playing in this Liebarry (thanks Alpha) contest. We’ll start with the honorable mentions –
Half Black Like Me – Call Me Lennie
Tax Hiker’s Guide To The Economy – 99th Squad Leader
The Taming Of The Sasquatch – Frosteetoes
Islam’s Contributions To The Economy – Alpha 06
Go Tell It On The Prompter – Call Me Lennie
Greed Expectations – Merry Poppet
Atlas Mugged – Squatch
My Life With President Obama – By Teleprompter – Czar Of Defenistration
The Color Usurple – Call Me Lennie
20,000 Leagues Over His Head – Lee
Birth Certificates For Dummies – Alpha 06
Much I Don’t Do About Nothing – Snowball The Sourpuss
Travelers Guide To All 57 Muslim States – grayscape
Michelle Is From Mars And Barry Has No Penis – Merry Poppet
The White House Garden Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank – The Doktor
From Here To Insolvency – Call Me Lennie
How To Alienate Friends And Discourage People – 99th Squad Leader
How To Destroy A Country On Ten Billion A Day – Marmo
Diddler On The Poof – Nunya (bidness)
Sarah Palin – The Root Of All Evil By Joy Behar – J Mac
The Unbearable Lightness Of Being Me – Cracker Annie Mouse
Just One Of The Guys By Rachel Maddow – Shmidtlap
Ship Of Stools By James Hines – Moe Tom
Tolerating Whitey – A Beginners Guide – Alpha 06
The Idiot And The Oddity – Call Me Lennie/Hal 9000
American History Revisited By Bill Ayers – Freeman
The Color Usurple – Call Me Lennie
Black Pride And Prejudice – Merry Poppet
The Diary Of Barney Frank – Call Me Lennie
The Winners –
Third Place – The Liar The Witch And The White House – Merry Poppet
Second Place – The Sistahood Of The Traveling Momjeans – Nunya
Grand Prize Winner – How The Worst Has Won – mkultra

9 Comments

Filed under Anthony Weiner, Barack Obama, Democrats, Funny Stuff, Sarah Palin

WATCH OUT WORLD

2 Comments

Filed under Barack Obama, Democrats, Funny Stuff, Sarah Palin

MICHELLE MOVIE BIO WINNER

I Own The World ran a contest to name a biopic for the Water Buffalo

these are cute

First the hilarious also-rans –

Queen Kong – Moe Tom
Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner at Tiffany’s – Czar of Defenestration
There’s Nothing About Michelle – Plain Jane
Requiem for a Really Heavyweight – Dad248
Scarf Face – Chalupa
Guess Who’s Eating Our Dinner – Mkultra
There’s Something About Gravy – Chalupa
Madame Bovinery – KT
V is for Velveeta – Edith McCrotch
The Pantriot – Uncle Al
Some Like it With Hot Sauce – 99th Squad Leader
The Devil Wears Boob Belts – The Doktor
Crouching Tigeress, Hidden Drumstick – Scratch n Sniff
“The Incredible Lightness of Barack’s Loafers” – LexisTexas
Shyster Act – Scratch n Sniff
The Pursuit of Crappyness – KT
Bad News Chairs – Matt Damon’s Brain
Schindler’s Takeout List – Matt Damon’s Brain
Saving Private Ryan’s Doggie Bag – Matt Damon’s Brain
The Passion Of The Crust – Matt Damon’s Brain
One Flew Over The Ugly Nest – BigJacket

And the Winner IS….
We’re gonna have a dance off. Thumb your favorite from these two so we can get our winner. Thumbing will end at 7pm ET

The Day After Tamales – Chalupa
All That Constitutional Jazz – Edith McCrotch

3 Comments

Filed under Funny Stuff, Michelle Obama

Green Jobs at Golden Arches

posted by bob

Unemployment rose to 9.1% last month, and employers added only 54,000 new jobs, the smallest increase in eight months. To add insult to injury, half of the new jobs were created by one employer — an employer of whom our obesity-obsessed First Lady vehemently disapproves. The inimitable Bard of Murdock comments:

At fifty-seven tries
I got a real surprise:
A job that oft applies
More cellulite to thighs.

Most mornings when I rise,
With sleep still in my eyes,
I head to work that ties
My life to apple pies.

“Perhaps you would like fries?”
My clients I advise,
“Or maybe Supersize,
And get a Nobel Prize!”

Barack might improvise,
But doesn’t realize,
The jobs his plan supplies,
Michelle would criticize.

Copyright 2011 by The Bard of Murdock. Used with permission.

(Crossposted at bluebird of bitterness)

ADDED by Chrissy the Hyphenated cuz this was just TOO FUN not to graphic!

Chrissy’s Site Bites: http://news.webshots.com/photo/2898502140056011884ybdbVi

While researching this one, I found some other goodies to graphic, like the 10-year-old who got a week’s detention for having one piece of hard candy. They’re not current, so I’ll just direct you to the album:

The Foodie Food Police

http://news.webshots.com/album/579867681iFnYoj

3 Comments

Filed under Economy, Funny Stuff

Dependency is not self-sustaining

By Chrissy the Hyphenated

“The goal [of the expanding welfare state] is not to keep the poor from starving but to create dependency, because dependency translates into votes for politicians who play Santa Claus.”

“Dependency and Votes” by Thomas Sowell

http://townhall.com/columnists/thomassowell/2011/05/24/dependency_and_votes/page/full/

Click to embiggen for easier reading.

Chrissy’s Site Bites:  http://news.webshots.com/photo/2338015180056011884ifSrnm

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Filed under Economy, Elections, Funny Stuff

THE THURSDAY GRUDGE REPORT

posted by Pistol Pete

A SHOVEL-EMPTY WASTE OF  787 BILLION DOLLARS

http://www.investors.com/NewsAndAnalysis/Article/572596/201105181850/A-Shovel-Empty-Waste-Of-787-Billion.htm

CONSERVATIVE PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHER CALLS FLORIDA EXAM ‘SOVIET-STYLED PROPAGANDA’

http://biggovernment.com/kolson/2011/05/18/conservative-public-school-teacher-calls-florida-exam-soviet-style-propaganda-2/

JEWISH DONORS OUTRAGED BY ‘SOCIOPATH’ OBAMA

A few are starting to realize Obama doesn’t care what happens to Israel

http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/137515

MR.TINGLES ATTACKS GINGRICH AS ‘EVIL JOKER’,PRAISES OBAMA AS  OUR HERO BATMAN

http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2011/05/18/chris-matthews-attacks-gingrich-evil-joker-praises-obama-our-hero-bat

ANN COULTER:TO LIBERALS,EVERY WOMAN LOOKS LIKE A HOTEL MAID

I love Ann;she’s snarkier than I am!

http://townhall.com/columnists/anncoulter/2011/05/18/to_liberals,_every_woman_looks_like_a_hotel_maid

WHY OBAMA IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

http://www.americanthinker.com/2011/05/why_obama_is_just_not_that_int.html

THE FUNNY,FUNNY LADY NAMED DONNA BRAZILE

She’a going apesh*t because some states have passed voter ID laws;imagine,having to prove who you are!

http://www.redstate.com/repair_man_jack/2011/05/18/the-funny-funny-lady-named-donna-brazile/

TODAY:BIGGEST NOMINATION FIGHT OF 2011

Goodwin Liu is a very scary man

http://www.redstate.com/curt_levey/2011/05/18/tomorrow-biggest-nomination-fight-of-2011/

WHY WON’T MEDIA STAND UP TO THE WHITE HOUSE

Because they’re on their knees putting hickeys on his hindquarters?

http://www.investors.com/NewsAndAnalysis/Article/572624/201105181850/Everybody-Out-Of-The-Pool.htm

WHO GOT OBAMACARE WAIVERS AND WHO’S STILL WAITING?OBAMA WON’T TELL US

http://dailycaller.com/2011/05/19/obamacare-transparency-fail-who%e2%80%99s-still-waiting-for-waivers-and-who-got-denied-obama-won%e2%80%99t-tell-us/

MAN WINS WORLD BEARD AND MOUSTACHE CHAMPIONSHIP;SHAPES BEARD INTO MOOSE AND FLAG OF NORWAY

This picture is so bizarre,I just had to post it

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/fashion/2011/05/18/2011-05-18_man_wins_world_beard__moustache_championship_shapes_facial_hair_into_moose_flag_.html

6 Comments

Filed under Barack Obama, Democrats, Economy, Education, Funny Stuff, Media Bias, Newt Gingrich, Obamacare

Steely courage

Chrissy’s Site Bites @ http://community.webshots.com/album/580149945lgcyvn

Terrell’s own site @ http://terrellaftermath.com/

Comments Off on Steely courage

Filed under Barack Obama, Funny Stuff, George W. Bush