by | February 18, 2018 · 6:00 am

Universal to Donate All Proceeds from New ‘Fifty Shades’ Movie to #MeToo Movement

From The Babylon Bee.

UNIVERSAL CITY, CA—In a selfless move designed to help victims of sexual harassment and abuse, Universal Pictures announced Tuesday it would be donating all proceeds from the new Fifty Shades Freed movie—the final chapter in the blockbuster trilogy featuring a creepily aggressive, controlling male lead and raunchy sex and bondage scenes—to foundations that support the #MeToo movement.

 

According to the company, all profits from ticket and movie sales of the film focused on an unhealthy, abusive relationship will go toward ensuring women aren’t objectified, harassed, or otherwise victimized by men who use their wealth and status as leverage.

“Every time you purchase a ticket to watch Anastasia Steele and creepily obsessive BDSM fanatic Christian Grey in gratuitous sex scenes, you can rest secure in the knowledge that you’re helping prevent predatory objectification and harassment of women,” a Universal rep said in a press conference. “You’re doing your part.”

Universal also claimed it would be selling the Fifty Shades trilogy on Blu-ray in a special “#MeToo Edition.” The set will include a bonus documentary on the #MeToo movement and let viewers know how they can help victimized women, right after they finish watching hours of a fictional abusive romance at home.

At publishing time, on the heels of the announcement, selfless feminists had flocked to the erotic film in droves for the sole purpose of helping victimized women, as worldwide box office revenue approached $140 million for the final installment of the billion-dollar-plus franchise.

More stories of questionable veracity from The Babylon Bee:

Woman to Shelve Belief That Gender Is Social Construct for Few Minutes While Boyfriend Changes Flat Tire on Side of Road

Family Exiting Church Unable to Find Minivan in Sea of Identical Minivans

Duggar Family to Kick Out One Kid Each Week in Cutthroat Reality Show

Sports Illustrated Takes Stand Against Sexual Harassment by Putting Naked Women on Cover

Local Man Takes Advantage of 3-Hour DMV Wait to Pen Blog Post Arguing for Government-Run Healthcare

Family Prays at McDonald’s, Food Miraculously Transforms Into Chick-Fil-A

Kirk Cameron Pleads for God to Spare Hollywood: ‘If You Find 10 Righteous, Will You Spare the City?’

 

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by | February 17, 2018 · 10:58 am

Bwahahahahaha!

2018_02 16 Mia Farrow tweet

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Filed under National Security

by | February 17, 2018 · 10:51 am

More FAKE NEWS

Why tell the inconvenient truth when the convenient lie gets TEN TIMES as much attention?

On Thursday, AP rushed to publish an unconfirmed story that made right-wingers look bad. It was retweeted more than 41,000 times.

2018_02 15 AP story about shooter

On Friday evening, the graveyard of all news stories, AP published its correction. So far, seventeen hours later, it has been retweeted all of 4,045 times.

2018_02 16 AP correction

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Filed under Fake News

by | February 17, 2018 · 10:24 am

Keeping Promises

2018 Trump turning ship of state around by Garrison

U.S. building permits have soared to their highest level since 2007.

During a three-month period late last year, U.S. Border Patrol agents seized a staggering 161 pounds of fentanyl, an amount equivalent to 36 million lethal doses.

90% of all illegal immigrants arrested last year had previous criminal convictions or were wanted on charges.

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Filed under Crime, Donald Trump, Economy, Immigration

by | February 17, 2018 · 10:09 am

The “Russia! Russia! Russia!” Nothingburger

2017 Trump scandal fishing by Lisa

On Friday, the office of special counsel Robert Mueller announced that a grand jury has indicted 13 Russian nationals and 3 Russian entities with conspiracy to defraud the United States.

  • Three defendants are charged with conspiracy to commit wire fraud and bank fraud. Five defendants are charged with aggravated identity theft.
  • The indictments show the Russians’ efforts did not impact the results of the 2016 presidential election.

KEY POINTS:

  • Mueller’s investigation (some would call it a “witch hunt”) showed that there was NO COLLUSION between the Trump campaign and Russia.
  • Mueller’s investigation showed that, despite the long and loud accusations made by Democrats and their lapdogs in the FAKE MEDIA, Russia did NOT HACK the 2016 presidential election.

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Filed under Donald Trump, Robert Mueller, Russia

by | February 17, 2018 · 9:28 am

Reaping the Whirlwind

“For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind.” Hosea 7:8

The following is excerpted from Andrew Klavan:

The Left defends gangstas and “transgressive” art and antifa thugs.

But when the shooting starts, they blame guns.

2017 A Bad Guy with a Gun by Branco

The Left sneers at feminine modesty and masculine protectiveness and all social restrictions on sex.

But when sexual harassment, abuse, and rape rise to the surface, they blame “toxic manhood.”

The Left wants us to reel in shock that Donald Trump used to be a playboy who chased women.

But they defended the infidelities and possible rapes committed by Governor, then-President Bill Clinton.

2014 Hillary's War on Women by Branco

Perhaps they should have listened to the Catholic apologist G.K. Chesterton, who wrote about the difference between reforming society and deforming it — a passage that was neatly paraphrased by John F. Kennedy:

Don't ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up

The Left wants to legitimize disrespect for the flag and for Christianity. They want to ignore the rule of law at the border and silence protests against Islamic ideas that are antithetical to every good thing the West stands for.

They should look to Europe where all these things have been accomplished.

  • When European women are molested in the public square, European leaders advise them to behave more modestly lest immigrants get the wrong idea.
  • When Islamic knives come out and Islamic bombs go off, European police rush to harass those who question the dictates of the Koran.

2016 Dressing for Safety in New Europe by Dry Bones

The degradation of our culture is almost entirely a leftist achievement. Over the last fifty years, it’s the Left that has assaulted every moral norm and disdained every religious and cultural restraint.

They own the whirlwind. If they don’t like the results and want someone or something to blame, they should look in a mirror.

Source:

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Filed under Andrew Klavan, Culture Wars, Gun Control

by | February 16, 2018 · 12:00 pm

Shouldn’t it be EASY to tell these two apart?!

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Filed under Communism, Democrats

by | February 16, 2018 · 10:31 am

Another Piece of Obama’s Legacy Bites the Dust

Obama’s Death Panel got the thumbs down from America’s Death Panel.

2018_02 Death panels toon

In 2009, Sarah Palin was roundly ridiculed by mainstream media’s pundits for coining the term “Death Panels” to describe Obamacare’s Independent Payment Advisory Board (IPAB).

But what else would you call a panel of 15 president-appointed people who, with virtually no congressional oversight, were empowered to make major changes to Medicare in the name of keeping costs “under control”?

The IPAB provision was buried in the monstrosity known as Obamacare. It was so radioactively unpopular with the American people that no members were ever appointed to it and no meetings ever occurred. Yet it continued to exist on the books … until last week.

One of the provisions in the recently passed federal budget was the official elimination of the IPAB provision. Good riddance!

Source:

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Filed under Medicare/Medicaid, Obamacare

by | February 16, 2018 · 10:01 am

“I can’t be silent.” – Vice President Pence

The day before this interview, the hags on The View had mocked Vice President Pence’s faith.

“It’s one thing to talk to Jesus. It’s another thing when Jesus talks to you. That’s called mental illness, if I’m not correct, hearing voices.” – Joy Behar

I guess all those nut jobs the Bible talks about having heard God should’ve just been locked up!

Or something.

Source:

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Filed under Christianity, Mike Pence

by | February 16, 2018 · 7:21 am

Are we cowards?

David French at National Review writes that defending the Second Amendment takes courage.  The following is excerpted from his article.

After every mass shooting, angry voices on the Left take the extraordinarily complex social, cultural, and political phenomenon of mass shootings and boil them down to “everyone who opposes our gun control plans are craven weakling in thrall to the NRA.”

Yesterday was no exception.

The presumption that Republican politicians care less about school shootings than they care about NRA campaign dollars or NRA votes plays very well on Twitter, but it’s detached from reality.

The fact is that courage is a cornerstone of the gun culture. Countless permit holders don’t just take the time to get carry licenses, they spend hours at the range. They take classes. They aspire to be brave.

The fact is that conservative politicians consistently advocate government action that they sincerely believe will make a positive difference.

Conservatives are keenly aware of the failings of existing gun laws and rightfully wonder why the Left has such confidence that more of the same will be more effective.

We don’t have good solutions to the problem of mass shootings. These crimes are sometimes planned months or years in advance, so the shooters have plenty of time to circumvent gun laws.

2018_02 Gun control two signs

  • Increased vigilance and governmental competence can stop some shooters.
  • Armed civilians can stop others.
  • Public education about warning signs can prevent a few more.

Each of these things has worked in the past. Each will work again.

But calling ideological opponents “cowards” has not worked and never will.

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Filed under Crime, Gun Control, Second Amendment